#holding onto the past; letting of the future
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it's all fun and games until I start hating you and I hit you with a large ass essay that expresses my frustration and exhaustion with your neglect and the hurt you've caused me.
Exemple:
To my dearest boy who broke my heart and left it to pieces with one missing shard in hand that keeps it from healing:
Love. A vile and twisted thing you remain in my eyes. For I have never loved someone and got to keep them in my heart for all eternity. It seems like the universe, God, have odd ways of pulling their strings when it comes to love, slow, torturous and often unexpected goodbyes grace us at the end.
It's been six months since you left me. Six long and excruciating months, and I can not put into words the disdain I feel towards you. Yet, I find myself staring longingly at you, find my heart racing at your mere sighting. You've become a dependency of mine, destructive yet fulfilling like the crimson drink I drown myself in. Like the pills I abused my body, my organs and my mind with. You'd bring me a sense of Euphoria, but what did it leave me with once your presence was gone? Pain. So much pain I can not even manage to put it into words. You were my oxygen. My will. My life. My sin and my soul. You were all that I needed. You were all that I wanted and still want even more. What should I call it? Soulmates who were never meant to be? Right person wrong time? Strangers to friends, friends into lovers and what now, strangers again? How low do I have to stoop down in order to make you want me again? I know you still want me, I can see it in your lingering eyes, yet you offer me silence and silence all over again. What did you do to me? What more could you possibly want from me? How much do you want to see me beg and try to make it up to you for all the hurtful words you've heard from my friends? How many "I'm sorry" do you want to hear fall from my lips and seem to always land onto deaf ears? What more do you want from me? Why do you ignore me again when you promised to be my friend? Was I not enough for you? Is it that hard to forget the girl you wanted beforehand? I know I am delusional to hold onto a love that clearly has perished long ago, but please for the love of God, let me cry into your arms for the first and last time so I can truly let you go. Let me sob my heart and guts out to you just for a few moments at least, I do not ask for more. Let me confess my desires , my dreams, my secrets and my pain to you. Even if they shall fall onto those ears of yours that you turn deaf on me every single time I try to get your attention. Let me. Please, allow me this. Let me find solace in your embrace even if it's cold and unwanted. I'd get down on my knees for you and let you kill me with your coldness. Let you freeze my heart and devour it whole if only a piece of me gets to be held by you, my darling boy. You have reduced me to a ghost of the strong woman I once were. And I am ashamed of myself for it, yet I can not even blame you for my downfall, because despite it all, I was an accomplice as well. Destroy me for all you want , I'll always come crawling back to you, with all my broken parts and my gaping wounds, bleeding into your own hands.
Just one last embrace is all I ask of you. I know you'd refuse me more. You cruel bastard. You heartless devil.
Go on and destroy me and watch me build back my pieces only to destroy me again. Go on and ruin me. Go on and put unnecessary distance between the both of us, because you are far too much of a coward to face the truth.
The truth is that you want me but are far too afraid of commitment, of new beginnings that you'd rather stick to the past and hope for the best. Hurt me. Hurt me all you want, but you'd never rebuke me from my church. From my sanctum, from your arms, from your hold. Rebuke me for my sins of loving you but know that I still hold you in high regards, that I still pray for your well-being, for your success, and your future. Know that against all odds..
I still love you.
âC.A
oh to be loved by a poet ⌠đ
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Lieutenant Rogers Universe
I DO NOT CONSENT TO ANY OF MY WORK BEING COPIED OR TRANSLATED
This is the masterlist for the âLt. Rogersâ Unvierse! Here should be able to find everything about Star and her found families!
pairings: romantic!neil âomahaâ vikander x rogers!reader, platonic!dagger squad x rogers!reader, plantonic!sam wilson x rogers!reader, platonic!bucky barnes x rogers!reader
series summary:Â 13 pilots were called back to Top Gun in 2023. at the same time, Lieutenant Rogers learns that her fatherâs shield was passed down to John Walker.
sources:Â Top Gun: Maverick (2022) , The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (2021)
Story
Call Sign: âStarâ
13 pilots were called back to Top Gun in 2023. at the same time, Lieutenant Rogers learns that her fatherâs shield was passed down to John Walker.
Push Your Limits
after learning of the shieldâs new owner, star must press on with her duties as a naval aviator and start her training with her new team.
Holding Onto the Past; Letting Go of the Future
after a pretty rough start, maverick takes the aviators to the beach for a team building exercise. star and omaha invite the squad over for the night. after a quick heart-to-heart with rooster, star has to watch the world forget her father.
Earn It
sam and bucky finally meet john in person. so does star. neither interactions were in johnâs favor.
Birds and Promises
while we all know what happens in the air, we donât know what happens with the aviators on the ground when three nearly die during a training exercise. how do hangman, rooster, and star react to their best friends nearly dying? will it change things between star and omaha?
Good Afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen. This is Your Lover Savior Speaking
the mission is here. and once again while we know what happens in the sky and in the control room, whatâs going through starâs mind as her friends fight for their lives and might not come home?
Shield of Injustice
while star and her friends fly the mission of a lifetime, sam and bucky are on a mission to find karli before john does. but they all get way more than the barganed for...
Safe Places
in the wake of the publicized murder of a flag smasher, star has to wrestle with herself as she comes to terms with everything that has happened and anticipate what will happen in the fall out -- all the while omaha tries not to let his feelings overshadow hers
The Lieutenant Rogers Moodboard Collection
if you would liked to be tagged in this series, please comment or reblog here!! itâll just help me to keep up with everyone to have a central hub for tags
lt rogers tags <33: @milesdickpic @roosterscockpit @luckyladycreator2 @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @malindacath @twsssmlmaaâÂ
love each of you little starlights <33
#lieutenant rogers#lieutenant rogers universe#rogers!reader#neil vikander x rogers!reader#omaha x reader#neil omaha vikander#dagger squad x reader#dagger squad x pilot!reader#dagger squad x rogers!reader#sam wilson x rogers!reader#bucky barnes x rogers!reader#top gun maverick#marvel#marvel/top gun maverick#falcon and winter solider series#tfatws#sam wilson#bucky barnes#john walker#steve rogers#captain america#call sign: star#push your limits#holding onto the past; letting of the future#earn it#birds and promises#good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. this is your savior (lover) speaking#shield of injustice#safe places#sarahsmi13s masterlist
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Man I wonder where the leader of the fear realm could've gone, it's alMOST LIKE NEVIN HAS AN
#had to re-edit the image real quick because the original edit was from a post I made about Drew years ago#and while the Drew thing is becoming less and less likely. Nevin havinv one has basically been canon since#someone mentioned Greg's (was it Britney's) aura being familiar in s2ch1. ive been putting together a list of every line#that points to Nevin's aura throughout the whole thing (most from s2ch1 but then s2ch10 came out and it was really canon at that point)#but clearly i'm running out of time to say ''i fucking called it'' before it's explicitly stated and i dont want to be in another situation#where somebody else will beat me to a theory and me posting anything about it will seem like copying them. sorry about that btw i had#thought i had already mentioned theorizing that nevin was possessed by a demon in that old theory i made but i had forgotten that one was#super old and was about sigma. so no copying there i just got extremely paranoid there was a mention of a cult and i was like ''nuh uh#that's way too specific and out there of a detail to end up in both our theories'' and i forgot the rest of my super old post was outdated#as hell. and echos had gone ''yeah they're so similar!'' and i took their word for it but now i'm realizing they were probably just trying#to be supportive. so yeah no copying there i was just beaten to the punch of saying something. but i will NOT back down from the aura shit#because i have been calling that shit FROM THE START or at least since i started reading ibvs back when ch20 came out.#also not backing down from saying chris was the worse friend because these past few chapters are the first time isaac has done anything tha#could knowingly upset chris meanwhile chris has. let edward drag isaac to the lair after isaac said edward would beat him up. chose not to#believe edward was holding the secrets over their heads because 'it was something isaac had said' and then immediately distrusted edward in#the next chapter because a random person he didn't know said to steal a book (might i mention how that entire scene proves chris' lack of#development and refusal to take responsibility because it perfectly alludes to when chris had brought those fireworks into his old school#and makes me wonder if charlie has actually gotten him in trouble with his past schools or if he's still just not taking responsibility#and if him following nevin to the woods to test out their powers is an extension of ''if something bad happens its not my fault''#like seriously this man would bring a mysterious suitcase onto a plane if he's told to). uh what was i talking about agai#anyway on a related note my mental state has only gotten worse since i left tumblr and the habit of thinking about chris instead of sleepin#or doing schoolwork has not stopped. so i was still failing for a while and might graduate now but am still staying away from tumblr.#so yeah this was a little update and im not going to linger this time im just going to leave tumblr again right after hitting post#addendum because i just can't let things go. and was thinking about chris again. i don't think his lack of development is because of bad#writing (anymore. i used to.). instead i'm certain his character arc is going to continue into him following someone (nevin probably) into#doing something really bad. and then he'll finally get actual consequences and go 'oh shit i fucked up real bad this time'#if you think that theory is reaching too far into the future you should hear mine about isaac dying at the end lmao
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sometimes I forget I'm a real-ass adult and have been for years because I do not know shit or fuck what I'm doing in any sense whatsoever
#rambumbles#like I know that seems to be a common occurance. but still.#I need to not think about how much I don't know or else I'll get really depressed#hmm how will I find a fulfilling career ? how will I pay bills and move out ? how do I conceptualize my own future ? ha ha !#how do I make a doctor's appointment ? how do I tell my parents about my mental struggles and not take it poorly-#when they inevitably brush me off ? how do I gain the confidence to be open with them about anything I actually care about-#for fear that it will be dismissed in the same way ?#ha ! hahahaha !!#how have I made it this far. how am I going to get anywhere past this. is that even possible at this point#oh well ! fuck it we ball ! surely I'll stumble upon something at some point. right .#until then I'll keep holding onto the things that Do make me happy. because I do care about them#and I know that my feelings are far from unique. I want to share my joy with others so that we can Both have something to hold onto.#the horrors persist. but so do I. :salute:#anyways let this be your reminder to never trust how you feel about your life past 9pm thank you and goodnight
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LOVE NEXT DOOR - p.sh
SUMMARY: After discovering your fiancĂŠâs infidelity, you leave behind the life youâd built in the U.S. and return to Korea to stay with your parents. The familiar streets and faces bring a bittersweet nostalgia, but nothing compares to reuniting with Sunghoon, your childhood best friend. Heâs different nowâmore reserved, maybe a bit colder. While he tries to bury the feelings he thought heâd left in the past, being around you stirs something in him that he canât ignore. And as you start to find comfort in each other again, you both realize that some feelings never truly fade.
PAIRING: childhood bsf! sunghoon x f!reader
WARNINGS: smut (oral m and f receiving, unprotected sex), angst, denial, mentions of cheating
wc: 20k
Youâre not sure what you expected when you walked into your apartment that day. Youâd left early for a business tripâan opportunity too good to pass up, even if it meant being away from Daniel for a few days. The wedding was only a month away, and youâd been looking forward to everything finally settling into place. Youâd imagined your life with him so many times: your wedding day, the honeymoon, the house youâd live in together, the family youâd build. It was all supposed to be perfect.
But as you pushed open the bedroom door, the world youâd been building shattered.
There they were, tangled in sheets that were meant for the two of you. Daniel's eyes widened in shock, but he didn't even bother scrambling for an excuse. You felt your chest tighten, each heartbeat a hammer against your ribs. For a moment, you stood frozen, every emotion rushing through you all at onceâanger, betrayal, disgust, disbelief. The room, filled with their hurried whispers and excuses, began to spin, and you could hardly breathe.
Youâd spent countless hours planning your future together, from the lace details on your wedding dress to the way youâd wear your hair. You had been so meticulous, imagining every little moment, every dance, every vow. Now, each of those dreams felt like a cruel joke. The engagement ring on your finger suddenly felt heavy, almost suffocating, a symbol of the love and trust that had been so easily shattered.
You werenât supposed to be home. The thought lingers as you stand in the doorway, frozen, watching the scene unfold in front of you. Daniel, the man you were supposed to marry in a month, is tangled in your sheets with another woman. His face pales, and he stumbles over himself, trying to sit up, as if thereâs any explanation that could possibly make this right.
âY/N, I can explain,â he starts, throwing on the shirt that had been discarded on the floor. His voice is a mix of desperation and guilt.
âExplain?â you manage, though your throat feels tight, your voice barely a whisper. You feel like youâre in a daze, like this canât possibly be real. âYouâre in our bed, Daniel. The bed where weââ You choke on your words, unable to finish the sentence. Everything youâd built with him, all the dreams and plans, now feel hollow and meaningless.
He takes a step toward you, but you instinctively back away. âIt wasnât supposed to happen like this. It was a mistake, Y/N. Please, just let meââ
âA mistake?â You let out a bitter laugh, the sound foreign even to yourself. âWeâre supposed to get married in a month, Daniel. A month! I was planning our wedding while you wereââ You stop, shaking your head as the reality of it all starts to sink in. âDid you ever even care about us? About me?â
âOf course I did,â he says, his voice cracking. But thereâs a hollowness in his words, one that you canât unhear now.
âDonât,â you interrupt, holding up your hand to stop him. âJust⌠donât. I trusted you. I thought you loved me.â The weight of the engagement ring on your finger feels unbearable now, as if itâs mocking you, reminding you of every lie heâs ever told. You pull it off and toss it onto the bed, where it lands with a soft thud. âKeep it. I donât want it anymore.â
He reaches for you, his hand outstretched, but you step back. âY/N, please, donât go. We can fix thisââ
âFix this?â You laugh again, the sound almost hysterical. âThereâs nothing left to fix, Daniel. You ruined it. You ruined us.â The finality of your words hangs in the air, and for the first time, he seems to understand that this is it. Youâre done.
Without another word, you turn and walk out, leaving behind the life youâd once believed in, the future youâd painstakingly planned. And as you step outside into the fresh air, you feel a strange sense of relief mixed with the ache of betrayal.Â
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
The hotel room is cold and impersonal, nothing like the home youâd shared with him. As you sit on the edge of the bed, you feel the weight of everything crashing down on you. Youâre alone, truly alone, in a way you havenât been since you first moved to the U.S. Daniel was supposed to be your constant, the one person you could rely on in this foreign place. Now, it all feels like a lie.
You clutch a pillow to your chest, trying to hold yourself together as the realization sinks in. You gave up so much to be with him, to build a life together. You left behind friends, family, and a whole world you knew, all for someone who didnât care enough to stay faithful. The emptiness that fills you is overwhelming, and for the first time in a long time, you feel lost.
The next day, you return to your shared apartment. The place feels different nowâtainted, like a ghost of the life you thought you had. You walk through each room, collecting your things in a daze, each item a painful reminder of a future that no longer exists.
In the bedroom, you pause, glancing at the photos on the nightstand. One of them is from the day he proposed, your faces beaming with happiness that now feels so far away. You grab the picture frame and toss it into a box, the glass cracking as it hits the other items. It feels oddly satisfying.
Once youâve packed everything, you head to work for what you know will be the last time. The office is buzzing with the usual hum of conversations and keyboard clicks, but it all feels distant, like youâre watching it from the outside.
You find your boss in his office, and he looks up as you walk in. âY/N, I wasnât expecting you back so soon. How was the trip?â
You force a smile, though it barely reaches your eyes. âThe trip was fine, but I need to talk to you about something.â
He senses the seriousness in your tone and gestures for you to sit. âWhatâs going on?â
Taking a deep breath, you steady yourself. âIâm resigning. Effective immediately.â
He blinks, surprised. âAre you sure? I mean, you have such a promising future here, andââ
âIâm going back to Korea,â you say, cutting him off. âThereâs⌠thereâs nothing left for me here.â You swallow hard, fighting back the tears threatening to fall. âI need to go home.â
He nods slowly, seeming to understand that this isnât just a spur-of-the-moment decision. âIâm sorry to hear that, Y/N. Weâll miss you around here.â
The finality of it all feels like a release, and as you walk out of the office for the last time, you feel a strange mix of sadness and relief. Youâre leaving behind everything youâd built, but youâre also walking away from the pain, from the betrayal. Itâs time to start over, to find yourself again. And you know exactly where you need to be.
With your suitcases in hand, you leave the apartment, the job, and the life youâd once loved, and head for the airport. This time, youâre going homeâfor good.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
The plane ride back to Korea feels like a dreamâa hazy, surreal blur where the reality of whatâs happened hasnât quite caught up with you. You stare out the window, watching as the city below grows closer, the familiar landscape bringing a wave of bittersweet nostalgia. Youâre going home, but not for the reasons you ever imagined.
You feel a wave of apprehension mixed with relief. You hadnât planned on returning home so abruptly, with nothing but a suitcase and a broken heart, and you certainly hadnât told anyone. You let yourself imagine how surprised your parents will be when you show up at the door unannounced. But you push the thought aside as you step into a cab, the familiar cityscape passing by in a blur.
The familiar street feels almost surreal as you pull up to your parentsâ house, the one you havenât seen in years. After everything thatâs happened, this was the only place that felt like it could hold you together. As you step out of the cab and stand in front of the door, the weight of your decision settles over you.Â
You take a deep breath and ring the bell. you stand at the door, hesitating. You havenât been here in so long, and everything looks just as it did beforeâyet somehow different. The door swings open to reveal your motherâs shocked face.
âY/N?â she gasps, her hand flying to her mouth. âIs it really you?â
âItâs me, Mom,â you say, managing a small smile as she pulls you into a tight hug.Â
âOh, honey!â She squeezes you, almost as if to make sure youâre real, then steps back, looking you over with a mixture of joy and worry. âWhat are you doing here? We didnât know you were coming!â
âI know. I wanted it to be a surprise.â You look over her shoulder to see your father standing in the doorway, his expression just as bewildered.
âWell, come in, come in!â Your mother ushers you inside, closing the door behind you. Your father wraps you in a quick hug, his grip firm but gentle.
âWhat brings you back home so suddenly?â he asks, his voice tinged with concern. âWe thought youâd be busy with wedding plans.â
Your heart skips a beat, but you keep your expression steady. âYeah⌠I just needed to get away for a bit. I missed you both.â
Your mother gives you a searching look, sensing thereâs more to the story. âBut your wedding is only a month away. Is everything okay?â
âItâs fine,â you say quickly, forcing a smile. âDaniel and I decided to take a break. I just needed some space to think, so I thought itâd be nice to come home for a while.â
Your parents exchange glances, their worry deepening. âA break?â your father echoes. âThis close to the wedding?â
You take a deep breath, bracing yourself against the wave of emotion that threatens to break through. âYeah, it was a last-minute decision. But I promise, itâs nothing to worry about. I just⌠needed to clear my head.â
Your mother reaches out and takes your hand, her grip warm and reassuring. âWeâre here for you, sweetheart. You know that, right?â
âI know.â You squeeze her hand, grateful for their presence. âI just needed to be here. With you.â
Your father nods, his expression softening. âWell, youâre always welcome here. For as long as you need.â
 They settle into the familiar rhythm of conversation, asking about your flight and your plans, you find a small sense of comfort in their voices. But beneath it all, you can feel the questions they arenât asking, the truths youâre not yet ready to share. For now, you let their warmth surround you, clinging to it like a lifeline in the storm youâre still navigating alone.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
As the night settles in, you find yourself standing in the doorway of your childhood bedroom, heart pounding. It feels both familiar and foreign, the walls adorned with posters of your teenage dreams and the desk still cluttered with relics of late-night study sessions. You push the door open, stepping inside and allowing the memories to wash over you.Â
The bed is made, just as you left it all those years ago, with the comforter patterned in pastel colors and stuffed animals peeking out from under the pillows. You take a deep breath, inhaling the scent of your childhoodâthe faint hint of lavender air freshener mixed with the familiar aroma of old books. Itâs comforting and painful all at once.
You sit on the edge of the bed, your mind drifts back to nights spent cramming for exams, the soft glow of the desk lamp illuminating pages of notes and textbooks. You remember laughing with your friends during late-night study sessions, the sound of their voices filling the air as you all shared dreams and plans for the future. Those were simpler times, before life became a tangled web of expectations and disappointments.
With each memory, a wave of nostalgia crashes over you, but the pain of your recent reality looms just beneath the surface. You can almost hear the echoes of your younger self, confident and excited about the future. Now, you feel like a shadow of that person, haunted by the weight of betrayal.
You shake your head, forcing a smile as you pull out your pajamas from your suitcase. No sense in dwelling on the past. You need to maintain the strong front youâve put on for your parents. They deserve to see you as the daughter whoâs come home, not the girl whose world has crumbled in a matter of weeks.
As you change into your pajamas, you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirrorâyour eyes tired and a hint of sadness in your smile. But you quickly brush it aside, reminding yourself that you canât let them see how vulnerable you feel. Your parents have already expressed their concerns; you canât burden them with the truth just yet. You donât want to break their hearts with the reality of why youâre here.
Slipping under the covers, you take a moment to appreciate the softness of the sheets, the way they wrap around you like a warm embrace. You lie back, staring at the ceiling, and allow your thoughts to wander. You think of Daniel, of the way everything fell apart so quickly, and the ache in your chest sharpens. But you breathe through it, determined not to let the tears spill over.
Instead, you focus on the memories that fill this room, allowing yourself a brief moment of comfort before the darkness creeps back in. You can hear your motherâs soft footsteps in the hallway, her gentle voice drifting through the walls as she chats with your father. Theyâre worried about you, and you know it. But you refuse to let them see the cracks in your facade.Â
You close your eyes, the past and present collide in a whirlwind of emotion, but you push the chaos aside, seeking solace in the familiarity of your childhood sanctuary. Here, in this room, you can hold on to the illusion of safety, if only for a little while longer.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
The next morning, you wake up to the smell of something familiarâyour motherâs cooking. For a moment, you let yourself enjoy the simplicity of it, the warmth of home wrapping around you like a blanket. You push back the covers and head downstairs, where you find her bustling around the kitchen, setting the table like she used to when you were in high school.
âGood morning,â she says brightly as she sees you, her smile wide and welcoming. âI made your favoriteâjeon and kimchi jjigae. Figured you could use a nice breakfast after that long flight.â
âThanks, Mom.â You slide into a chair at the table, the normalcy of the moment grounding you. Itâs almost like the old days when everything was so simpleâjust you, your parents, and a quiet morning before the day truly began.
She sets a plate down in front of you, the scene feels like something out of the past. The kitchen hasnât changed, with the same floral curtains and the light clinking of dishes filling the quiet space. Itâs peaceful, almost enough to make you forget why youâre back.
You both fall into an easy conversationâtalking about small things like the weather, whatâs been happening in the neighborhood, and her latest gardening projects. She doesnât press about Daniel or the wedding, and youâre thankful for the reprieve. Youâre determined to keep up this front, to act like everythingâs fine, at least for now.
Just as you start to relax into the conversation, the front door flies open with a loud bang, and a familiar voice cuts through the morning calm.
âY/N!â
You look up just as Yeji storms into the kitchen, her expression a mix of excitement and disbelief.
âHow could you not tell me you were coming back?â she demands, standing with her hands on her hips as she glares at you in mock offense. âI had to hear it from our momâs call this morning! Do you know how betrayed I feel right now?â
You blink in surprise, a guilty smile tugging at your lips. âYeji, Iââ
âUnbelievable,â she cuts you off, shaking her head. âI thought we were best friends! Youâre lucky I love you.â
She strides over and pulls you into a tight hug before you can finish your sentence. You laugh softly, hugging her back. âIâm sorry, I didnât tell anyone. It was a last-minute thing.â
Yeji pulls away and gives you a playful glare. âYou owe me, big time.â
Your mother, who has been watching this entire exchange with an amused smile, shakes her head. âI told her she shouldâve called you first,â she teases, glancing between the two of you.
Yeji crosses her arms, looking at you expectantly. âWell, youâre here now, so spill. Whatâs going on? Why the sudden return?â
You feel the weight of her question hang in the air, but before you can figure out how to answer, your mom steps in.
âLet her eat first, Yeji,â she chides gently. âShe just got here yesterday.â
Yeji grumbles, taking a seat next to you with a dramatic sigh. âFine. But after breakfast, you better be ready to talk. No way youâre getting out of this.â
You smile, feeling the warmth of her friendship wrap around you, even as you dread the inevitable questions. For now, though, you focus on the food in front of you, allowing the conversation to flow around you like it used toâjust another morning in the house where everything was simple.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
âIm heading to the market to get stuff I need for tonightâs dinner. Iâll be back in a little,â Your mom tells you, walking out the door and closing it behind her.
Yeji narrows her eyes, tapping her fingers on the table. âOkay, Y/N. Enough stalling. Why are you really back? This close to the wedding? Whatâs going on with you and Daniel?â
You feel your stomach tighten, but you keep your face neutral, cutting a piece of pancake as if her question hasnât hit you like a punch to the gut. âI told you, I just wanted to visit. I missed everyone.â
Yeji isnât convinced. âY/N, donât give me that. You didnât even tell me you were coming back, and youâre usually texting me about every little thing. Now you show up out of nowhere, and weâre supposed to believe this is just a friendly visit?â
You meet her gaze, your heart pounding, but you force yourself to stay calm. âIt is. Thereâs nothing else to it.â
She raises an eyebrow, clearly not buying it. âCome on. You and I both know somethingâs up. Was there a fight? Did Daniel do something?â
You shake your head quickly. âYeji, really. I just needed a break. Thatâs all.â
Yeji stares at you for a moment longer, waiting for you to crack, but when you donât, she throws her hands up in defeat. âFine. Keep your secrets. But mark my words, Iâll get it out of you one way or another.â
You breathe a silent sigh of relief as she finally drops the topic. Youâre not ready to talk about Daniel, or the betrayal that shattered everything. Not yet.
Yeji leans back in her chair, crossing her arms. âAnyway, speaking of things you havenât told me⌠have you seen Sunghoon yet?â
The question takes you off guard, and you look at her, surprised. âSunghoon?â
âYeah,â Yeji says, eyeing you with a knowing smirk. âYour other childhood bestie? The one whoâs still very much around? He lives next door, you know.â
You fidget with your fork, feeling an odd mix of emotions stir at the mention of his name. âNo, I havenât seen him yet.â
Yeji tilts her head. âReally? Youâve been here since yesterday and havenât run into him? Thatâs weird. Heâs practically part of your family.â
You shrug, trying to appear indifferent. âI got in late, and Iâve been busy with unpacking. Itâs not that surprising.â
Yeji chuckles. âHeâs going to be so mad you didnât tell him you were coming back either. Youâve got a lot of explaining to do, Y/N.â
You manage a small laugh, though the thought of seeing Sunghoon after all these years sends a small flutter of anxiety through you. Things with him had always been comfortable, easy, but after so long apart, youâre not sure what to expect. And after everything thatâs happened with Daniel, the idea of facing someone who knows you so well feels almost too raw.
âWell, good luck with that,â Yeji says, giving you a teasing smile. âYou know how he is. Heâs probably going to give you the cold shoulder for a bit.â
You force a grin, though youâre already dreading the inevitable reunion. âYeah. I guess Iâll deal with that when it happens.â
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
Later that afternoon, feeling a bit restless from being inside all morning, you decide to take a walk to the nearby convenience store. The air is crisp and cool, and the quiet hum of the neighborhood feels calming. Itâs the kind of peace you missed during your years abroad, and for a moment, you let yourself relax, letting the familiar surroundings ease your mind.
As you approach the store, lost in thought, you nearly bump into someone coming out. You step back, about to apologize, when you realize who it is. Sunghoon.
Your heart stutters in your chest as you take in the sight of him. He looks the same, yet somehow different. Taller, more mature. His dark hair falls slightly over his eyes, and heâs dressed casually in a hoodie and jeans, holding a bag of snacks in one hand. But itâs his expression that catches you off guardâcool, almost indifferent, as his eyes meet yours.
âSunghoon?â you say, trying to mask the awkwardness creeping into your voice. âI didnât think Iâd run into you here.â
He blinks, a brief flicker of surprise crossing his face before it quickly fades into something more guarded. âY/N,â he says, his tone even. âI heard you were back.â
Thereâs no warmth in his voice, no hint of the familiarity you used to share. The coldness of his reaction makes your stomach drop, and for a moment, you donât know what to say.
âYeah⌠I came back yesterday.â You offer a small, tentative smile, hoping to ease the tension. âIt was kind of a last-minute thing.â
Sunghoon nods, but his expression doesnât change. âI figured.â
You stand there awkwardly, the weight of the unspoken tension between you heavier than you expected. This wasnât how you thought it would go. He used to be one of your closest friends, someone you could talk to about anything. Now, it feels like youâre standing in front of a stranger.
âHave you been okay?â you ask, trying to bridge the gap between you.
âYeah, Iâve been fine.â His answer is short, clipped, as if heâs not interested in small talk.
The coldness in his voice stings, and you canât help but wonder if your sudden disappearance all those years ago had more of an impact on him than you realized. âItâs good to see you,â you offer, even though youâre not sure if itâs true anymore. âIâve missed everyone.â
âRight.â He looks past you, as if already ready to leave. âWell, welcome back.â
Thatâs it? No questions, no catching up, just⌠this? You feel your chest tighten, the conversation feeling colder by the second.Â
âThanks,â you manage to say, trying not to let his aloofness get to you. âI guess Iâll see you around?â
Sunghoon shrugs, his expression unreadable. âMaybe.âÂ
With that, he steps past you, walking away without another word, leaving you standing there, feeling strangely hollow. You watch him go, the distance between you now more than just physical. Itâs like thereâs a wall where there used to be a connection, and youâre not sure howâor ifâyouâll ever break through it again.
After your brief and awkward run-in with Sunghoon, you continue into the convenience store, your thoughts swirling. The encounter had left you unsettledâmore than you wanted to admit. Youâd expected maybe a little awkwardness after all these years, but not this cold, indifferent version of Sunghoon. The Sunghoon you remembered was always warm, protective, quick to tease you. Now, it felt like he couldnât care less that you were back.
You absentmindedly browse the aisles, picking up a few snacks and bottled water, you replay the conversation in your head. Every curt response, every emotionless glance. Was he mad? Hurt? Or had he just moved on with his life so much that your return didnât even register? You didnât expect everything to fall back into place after so many years, but you certainly didnât expect this.
You make your way to the counter, trying to push the thoughts away. Maybe itâs better not to overthink it. Youâve only been back for a dayâthings might take time to feel normal again. Or maybe youâve just been gone too long.
The cashier rings up your items, and you pay before stepping back outside into the cool autumn air. The sky is a soft gray, and a slight breeze carries the scent of falling leaves, a reminder that some things, at least, remain the same.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
On your way back home, your mind drifts to everything thatâs happened in the last few days. Youâd been so focused on escaping Daniel, on putting distance between you and the life youâd built with him in the U.S., that you hadnât really prepared yourself for how different everything might be back here.Â
You shake your head. This wasnât the time to spiral. One thing at a time.
When you reach your house, you feel a bit lighter, the familiarity of home giving you a sense of stability. As you open the door and step inside, your mother is in the living room, flipping through a magazine.
âHey, sweetie,â she greets with a smile, glancing up at you. âDid you get what you needed?â
âYeah, just a few things,â you reply, holding up the bag. âThought Iâd take a walk.â
âGood. Itâs nice to have you back home.â She pats the seat next to her on the couch, and you sit down, the warmth of the house and her presence comforting.
You try to focus on the moment, pushing aside the confusing encounter with Sunghoon for now. But it lingers in the back of your mind, like an unresolved thread, tugging at you no matter how hard you try to ignore it.
One day at a time, you remind yourself. You came back to Korea to heal. Whatever happens with Sunghoonâor anything elseâwill have to wait.
As you settle into the couch next to your mom, you finally let yourself relax a little. The warmth of the house, the quiet rhythm of the afternoonâit almost feels normal. But as you sit there, your mom glances at you with a casual smile, one that makes you wary.
âOh, I forgot to mention,â she says, flipping the magazine shut. âSunghoon and his parents are coming over for dinner tonight.â
You freeze, your fingers tightening slightly around the edge of the couch. âWhat?â
âYeah,â your mom continues, completely unaware of the tension that suddenly grips you. âIâve been meaning to invite them over, and I thought itâd be nice to have a little family dinner now that youâre back. You know how close we are with them.â
Your mind races. You had barely survived your run-in with Sunghoon at the convenience store, and now you were supposed to sit through an entire dinner with him? After how cold and distant heâd been? The thought alone makes your stomach twist.
âTonight?â you ask, trying to keep your voice even.
âMm-hmm,â your mom says, already getting up to head toward the kitchen. âIâm going to start prepping soon. Itâll be fun, donât you think? Just like old times.â
Fun wasnât exactly the word youâd use. âMom, Iââ
Before you can come up with an excuse, sheâs already busy listing out dishes. âI was thinking weâd do something simple. Maybe some bulgogi, kimchi, a few side dishes. Oh, and that japchae you love. Sunghoon always liked that, too.â
You rub your temples, feeling the weight of the situation settle on your shoulders. There was no getting out of this. Your mom had clearly put thought into this dinner, and after being away for so long, you didnât have the heart to tell her no.
âYeah⌠sounds great,â you manage to say, though your enthusiasm is clearly lacking.
âPerfect! Iâll get started now. Why donât you help me later with the table?â she says cheerfully, disappearing into the kitchen.
You sit there, trying to wrap your mind around the fact that in just a few hours, youâll be sitting across from Sunghoon at dinnerâawkward silences, tense glances, and all. Youâd thought you could avoid him for a while, at least until you figured out how to talk to him, but it seems the universe had other plans.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
Dinner time arrives faster than youâd hoped, and the pit in your stomach grows heavier with each passing minute. You spent the last hour helping your mom set the table, the familiar routine of laying out chopsticks and plates doing little to calm your nerves. Every time you hear a sound outside, your heart jumps, anticipating their arrival.
Finally, thereâs a knock at the door, followed by your fatherâs cheerful voice as he greets Sunghoon and his parents. You force a steadying breath, bracing yourself for the inevitable as they step inside.
âCome in, come in,â your mom calls from the kitchen, wiping her hands on a towel as she moves to greet them.
You stay rooted by the table, trying not to let your unease show. When you glance up, your eyes meet Sunghoonâs. His face is impassive, and though his parents are all smiles, he barely acknowledges you beyond a polite nod.
âY/N,â his mother beams, walking over to give you a warm hug. âItâs so wonderful to see you back home! You look so grown-up. How long has it been?â
You muster a smile as you hug her back. âItâs been a while, yeah. Iâve missed being here.â
Sunghoonâs dad shakes your hand with a broad smile. âYou were always such a good kid. Your parents must be thrilled to have you back.â
You nod, trying to keep the conversation light as you exchange pleasantries with Sunghoonâs parents. Meanwhile, Sunghoon himself stands near the doorway, hands in his pockets, looking anywhere but at you. The coldness from earlier lingers between you, thick and uncomfortable.
Your mom ushers everyone to the dining table, her excitement palpable as she serves the food. âLetâs all sit! Itâs so nice to have everyone together again.â
You find yourself seated across from Sunghoon, who remains quiet as the meal begins. His parents chat easily with your parents, exchanging updates on family matters and local gossip. You try to join in, but itâs hard to focus when you can feel Sunghoonâs presence directly in front of you, the weight of his silence pressing down.
At one point, his father glances at you, his smile genuine. âSo, Y/N, how long are you planning to stay? Iâm sure youâve got a busy life back in the States, with the wedding and all.â
You freeze, the mention of the wedding making your chest tighten. Youâd hoped it wouldnât come up, but of course, it was inevitable. All eyes turn to you, and you feel Sunghoonâs gaze on you now, sharp and watchful.
âOh⌠Iâm not sure yet,â you answer, trying to keep your voice steady. âI havenât really figured everything out.â
His mother looks over, curious. âArenât you worried about the wedding? Itâs only a month away, right?â
You swallow hard, avoiding Sunghoonâs gaze, which feels like a dagger from across the table. âI⌠I decided to take some time off. You know, to clear my head before everything gets hectic.â
Your parents exchange glances but donât press further, sensing that thereâs more to the story than youâre letting on. Sunghoonâs mother, however, isnât as easily deterred.
âWell, Iâm sure Danielâs missing you terribly,â she says with a laugh, clearly unaware of the tension her words cause. âYou two must be so excited about the big day!â
You feel your throat tighten, your fingers gripping the edge of your plate. Before you can figure out how to respond, Sunghoon finally speaks.
âMaybe we should give Y/N a break,â he says, his tone low but unmistakably cold. âShe just got back. No need to bombard her with questions about her wedding.â
Everyone goes silent for a moment, the shift in his tone catching them off guard. You glance up, surprised by his sudden defense of you, but when your eyes meet, his expression remains unreadable.Â
His mother blinks, a bit flustered. âOh, of course. I didnât mean to pry.â
âItâs fine,â you say quickly, trying to smooth over the tension. âReally. I just needed some time to think.â
Your father clears his throat, steering the conversation to a different topic, but the air remains thick with unspoken words. As dinner continues, you canât help but glance at Sunghoon, who stays quiet for the rest of the meal, his face hard, distant.
By the time dessert rolls around, youâre exhausted from keeping up the act. You want nothing more than to escape this table, to be anywhere but here, trapped between old memories and the unresolved tension that hangs over everything like a storm cloud.
Sunghoon may have spoken up for you, but the chill in his demeanor tells you everything you need to knowâhe hasnât forgiven you for leaving, and this dinner is just the beginning of whatever complicated mess lies ahead.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
After dinner, the weight of the evening presses on your chest, and you feel the overwhelming need for spaceâsomewhere away from the questions, the tension, and the relentless memories. Your parents chat casually in the living room with Sunghoonâs parents, but their laughter feels distant, like youâre no longer part of it. Excusing yourself quietly, you slip out of the house, letting the cool night air hit your skin as you walk down the quiet, familiar streets.
You find yourself heading to the park where you, Sunghoon, and Yeji used to play as kids. The old swings, the jungle gym, even the worn-out slideâitâs all still there, untouched by time. The memories of those carefree days flood back, bittersweet in their simplicity. You push down the ache in your chest and sit on one of the swings, the creak of the chains loud in the stillness of the night.
The moon hangs low, casting a pale glow over the empty park. You let yourself swing gently, the motion soothing, but your thoughts are anything but calm. Everything is swirlingâDaniel, the wedding that wonât happen, your sudden return home, and the wall Sunghoonâs built between you since the moment you saw him again.
Lost in your thoughts, you donât hear him approach until heâs already there. The soft crunch of his footsteps on the gravel pulls you from your reverie, and you glance to your side, startled to see Sunghoon standing there, his expression unreadable. He doesnât say anything at first, just looks at you for a moment before settling onto the swing next to you.
For a long while, neither of you speaks. The silence stretches between you, thick and uncomfortable, but somehow familiarâlike the many quiet nights youâd spent together here as kids. Back then, silence was easy. Now, itâs loaded with everything you havenât said, everything thatâs changed.
Finally, you break the quiet, your voice barely above a whisper. âI didnât think youâd follow me.â
Sunghoon doesnât look at you, his gaze fixed on the ground as he kicks at the dirt with his shoe. âI didnât think I would either,â he admits, his voice flat. âBut here I am.â
You glance at him from the corner of your eye, trying to gauge his mood. The coldness from earlier lingers in the air between you, but thereâs something else tooâsomething softer, more hesitant, like heâs struggling with whateverâs on his mind.
The gentle creak of the swings is the only sound for a few more moments, until he finally speaks again, his tone low and distant. âYou left,â he says, his words simple but heavy. âNo warning. No goodbyes.â
Your stomach twists at the accusation, but you canât deny it. âI know,â you say quietly, gripping the chains of the swing a little tighter. âIâm sorry.â
He lets out a small, bitter laugh. âYeah, well, that doesnât exactly change anything, does it?â
You wince, the sharp edge in his voice cutting deeper than you expected. âSunghoon, I didnât mean to just disappear. Things were⌠complicated.â
âComplicated?â He finally turns to look at you, his eyes narrowing slightly. âYou couldnât have called? Texted? I had to hear from my parents that you were moving to the U.S. And now, after years of nothing, you just show up out of nowhere, acting like everythingâs fine?â
You bite your lip, the guilt weighing heavily on you. âI didnât mean to hurt you. I just⌠I needed to get away. From everything. And then⌠life happened.â
Sunghoon shakes his head, his jaw clenching. âYouâre always running away, Y/N. You did it back then, and now youâre doing it again. What happened with Daniel? Did he screw up, and now youâre back here hiding?â
His words strike a nerve, and you feel your chest tighten. âItâs not like that,â you say defensively, though a part of you wonders if heâs right.Â
âIsnât it?â he presses, his voice sharp. âYouâre back here, pretending everythingâs okay when clearly, itâs not.â
You turn away, the pain and frustration bubbling up inside you. âYou donât know what Iâve been through, Sunghoon. Itâs not that simple.â
For a moment, he stays silent, the tension between you thick and suffocating. Then, he sighs, the anger seeming to drain out of him. âYouâre right. I donât know. Because you never told me.â
You look over at him, and for the first time since youâve been back, you see something in his eyes that isnât coldness or angerâjust hurt. The years youâve spent apart, the silence between youâitâs all built up into this wall that neither of you knows how to tear down.
âI didnât mean for it to be like this,â you whisper, the weight of the years catching up to you. âI just⌠I needed to figure things out. And now, I donât know how to fix it.â
Sunghoon looks away, his expression softening, though the hurt still lingers. âMaybe itâs not about fixing things,â he says quietly. âMaybe itâs just about being honest. With me. With yourself.â
You donât know how to respond, the truth of his words settling heavily on your chest. The silence returns, but this time it feels differentânot as cold, not as distant. You both sit there, side by side, swinging gently in the cool night air, the echoes of your childhood swirling around you.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
The walk back home from the park is quiet, but itâs a different kind of silence nowâless charged, more reflective. Sunghoon walks beside you, his hands in his pockets, and though neither of you speaks, thereâs a tentative sense of peace settling between you.
The night air feels lighter as you near your house, and you glance over at him, wondering if this fragile understanding between you will last. Just as youâre about to say something, you hear itâa voice calling your name from across the street.Â
âY/N!â
You freeze, your heart skipping a beat at the sound of Danielâs voice. Itâs impossible. He shouldnât be here. Slowly, you turn, and there he is, standing under a streetlight, his face a mixture of desperation and determination.
âY/N, wait!â he calls again, hurrying toward you, his voice strained with urgency.
You can feel your blood run cold as he approaches. Sunghoon stiffens beside you, his gaze hardening the moment he sees Daniel. You swallow, taking an instinctive step back, every muscle in your body tensing as the man youâd left behind in the U.S. closes the distance between you.
âWhat the hell are you doing here?â you manage, your voice shaking with equal parts disbelief and anger.
Danielâs eyes are pleading, his hands reaching out like heâs trying to reel you back in. âI came to find you. To explain everything. I messed up, Y/N, but we can fix this. You canât just run away like this.â
Sunghoon moves slightly closer to you, his presence a shield as you stand frozen, trying to process the surreal scene unfolding in front of you. The front door to your house swings open, and your parents step out, concern etched across their faces. They must have heard the commotion from inside.
âY/N? Whatâs going on out here?â your mother asks, her gaze moving between you, Daniel, and Sunghoon. Your father follows, frowning deeply as he takes in the scene.
Daniel seems to seize the moment, stepping toward you again. âI made a mistake, okay? I know I hurt you, but we can work this out. We were so close to the wedding, Y/N. Donât throw it all away because of one mistake.â
The words hit you like a punch to the gut, the weight of the betrayal crashing down on you all over again. Your motherâs eyes widen as she glances between the two of you. âWhat⌠mistake?â she asks slowly, her voice tight with worry.
You donât want to say it. You donât want to admit it in front of your parents, in front of Sunghoon, but the truth is too heavy to keep inside any longer. You take a deep breath, your voice trembling as the words finally spill out.
âHe cheated,â you say, your voice breaking slightly. âWith someone else. Thatâs why I left.â
The air seems to freeze around you. Your mother gasps, her hand flying to her mouth in shock. Your fatherâs expression hardens, his eyes narrowing as he stares at Daniel. And Sunghoon⌠Sunghoonâs fists clench at his sides, the barely restrained anger radiating off him in waves.
âHow dare you?â your fatherâs voice is like steel, cold and furious. âHow dare you come here after what youâve done?â
Daniel takes a step back, looking genuinely shaken by the fury directed at him. âIt was a mistake,â he insists, his voice desperate. âIt didnât mean anything. I love Y/N, and weâre supposed to be getting married. I justâI want to fix things.â
Your mother, usually calm and collected, is trembling with emotion. âYou think you can fix this?â she demands, her voice rising. âAfter what youâve done to her? After breaking her heart like this?â
You feel Sunghoonâs hand on your arm, a silent gesture of support as everything unfolds around you. His voice is low, but every word drips with barely controlled fury. âYou think you can just show up here and make everything better? She doesnât need you anymore. Get lost.â
âStay out of this. Itâs none of your business.â Daniel tells sunghoon, his jaw clenching at the sight of him pleading for forgiveness.
Daniel looks between you and your parents, his panic growing. âY/N, please,â he pleads. âWeâve been through so much together. You canât just-
Your father steps forward now, his voice firm and filled with authority. âGet off my property,â he says, his eyes narrowing as he stares down Daniel. âYouâve done enough damage.â
Daniel looks panicked, his desperation clear as he looks at you one last time. âY/Nââ
âGo,â you say quietly, your voice steady despite the turmoil in your heart. âJust⌠go.â
Sunghoon is still fuming beside you, but he doesnât move. He waits, fists clenched, as Daniel hesitates for a moment longer before finally turning and walking back down the street. His footsteps fade into the night, leaving behind an unbearable silence.
Your parents stand by the door, your motherâs hand on your fatherâs arm as they watch you carefully. Sunghoon stands stiffly beside you, his anger simmering just beneath the surface.
âIâm so sorry you had to find out like this,â you murmur, mostly to Sunghoon. He turns to look at you, his expression softening ever so slightly. Thereâs still anger in his eyes, but beneath it, you see something elseâconcern, hurt, maybe even guilt for not knowing sooner.
âWhy didnât you tell me?â he asks, his voice low, but thereâs no accusation in his tone. Just quiet frustration and sadness.
You swallow hard, the weight of everything finally hitting you. âI didnât want anyone to know,â you say, your voice barely above a whisper. âI just⌠I couldnât.â
Sunghoonâs gaze lingers on you for a moment longer before he finally lets out a slow breath. He doesnât say anything, but the tension between you begins to ease. Slowly, the weight on your chest starts to lift, even if only a little.
As the tense moment begins to settle, your parents usher everyone back inside, their expressions a mix of concern and disbelief. Sunghoon follows you quietly, his usual confident demeanor replaced by a somber silence. Inside, the atmosphere is heavy with unspoken words and lingering shock from Daniel's unexpected visit.
Your mother offers tea, her hands trembling slightly as she pours, trying to find some semblance of normalcy in the midst of the chaos. Sunghoon remains quiet, his eyes fixed on his tea as he sits opposite you at the kitchen table. The air feels charged with unresolved tension, each passing second stretching the fragile peace thinner.
âI canât believe he had the audacity to show up here,â your father finally breaks the silence, his voice rough with suppressed anger. âAfter what he did to you.â
You nod silently, unable to find the words to explain or justify Danielâs actions. The betrayal still feels fresh, the wound reopened by his sudden appearance.
Sunghoon finally speaks, his voice calm but tinged with an edge you canât quite place. âWhy didnât you tell me?â His eyes meet yours, searching for answers. âYou could have⌠I could have helped.â
You swallow hard, the guilt weighing heavily on you. âI didnât want to burden anyone,â you admit quietly. âAnd I didnât want you to hate me.â
Sunghoonâs expression softens slightly, a flicker of understanding crossing his features. âI could never hate you,â he says softly, his gaze unwavering. âBut I hate seeing you hurt.â
Your heart clenches at his words, a mixture of relief and sadness washing over you. âIâm sorry,â is all you manage to say, the weight of your emotions threatening to spill over.
Your mother places a gentle hand on your shoulder, offering silent comfort. âSweetheart, you donât have to apologize,â she says softly, her eyes filled with maternal concern. âWeâre just glad youâre home now.â
The tears youâd been holding back finally spill over, and you let out a shaky breath. âI just⌠I needed to come back,â you admit, the truth finally surfacing. âEverything fell apart, and I didnât know where else to go.â
Sunghoon reaches across the table, his hand hesitating for a moment before gently covering yours. His touch is warm and reassuring, grounding you in the midst of turmoil. âYouâre home now,â he says quietly, his voice steady. âAnd weâre here for you.â
You nod gratefully, overwhelmed by the support of your family and the unexpected comfort from Sunghoon. Despite everything, a sense of relief washes over youâthe first glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, you can begin to heal.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
The evening wears on, the tension gradually easing as conversations shift from the shock of Danielâs visit to lighter topics. Your parents share stories of neighbors and friends, trying to lighten the mood, while Sunghoon remains by your side, a silent presence that speaks volumes.
As the night draws to a close, you find yourself standing at the front door with Sunghoon, the faint glow of streetlights casting shadows around you. He looks at you, his eyes soft with unspoken understanding.
âThank you,â you say quietly, breaking the silence between you. âFor everything.â
Sunghoon offers a small smile, his hand brushing yours briefly. âYou donât have to thank me,â he replies gently. âIâm just glad youâre okay.â
You take a deep breath, the weight on your shoulders a little lighter than before. âI think Iâm going to be,â you admit, a tentative smile tugging at your lips.
Sunghoonâs smile widens slightly, a hint of relief in his eyes. âGood,â he says softly. âAnd if you ever need anything⌠Iâm just a phone call away.. Iâm also right next door.â
With a small smile, he turns to leave, and you watch him disappear into his house, a sense of gratitude filling your heart. As you close the door behind you and lean against it, you realize that while things may still be uncertain, youâre not facing them alone anymore. And for now, thatâs enough.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
Over the next few weeks, life began to settle into a routine, the shock of your sudden return starting to fade into the background. Each day, you found yourself easing back into the rhythm of your old life in ways you hadnât expected. It was strange at first, being in your childhood home again, but soon it began to feel familiarâcomforting, even. The late-night conversations with your mom, your dadâs predictable quips over breakfast, the peaceful quiet of your small neighborhood.
And then, there was Sunghoon.
At first, things between you remained cautious and quiet, both of you still navigating the unfamiliar territory of this new chapter in your lives. But bit by bit, as the days passed, the invisible walls that had sprung up between you began to crumble.
It started small. A casual conversation as you bumped into each other outside, a shared glance when you both found yourselves at the convenience store at the same time. Each interaction felt like a tentative step back toward something you thought was lost.
You had always been able to talk to Sunghoon so easily, and it wasnât long before the old rhythm between you began to resurface. The awkward tension that had once hung over you melted away, replaced by the comfortable ease youâd always shared. Whether it was a quick coffee at the cafĂŠ you used to frequent as teenagers, or the impromptu walks around the neighborhood, it felt like the years apart had never happened. The quiet moments spent together became familiar again, and with them came a warmth you hadnât realized you missed.
One afternoon, you were both sitting in the park where you used to spend hours as kids, watching the leaves fall as autumn began to set in. Sunghoon glanced over at you, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
âRemember when we used to race to see who could swing the highest?â he asked, his tone light but nostalgic.
You laughed, nodding as memories of your childhood flooded back. âYou always won. I swear you had superpowers or something.â
He chuckled softly, his gaze shifting to the old swingset. âI wasnât that fast. You were just slow.â
You nudged him playfully, rolling your eyes. âSays the guy who fell off the monkey bars twice trying to impress Yeji.â
Sunghoon winced dramatically, rubbing the back of his neck as if the memory still stung. âYeah, well⌠not one of my finer moments.â
Moments like these became more frequent. The playful banter, the shared laughs, the easy way you slipped back into each otherâs livesâit all felt natural, as if no time had passed. And with each passing day, the bond between you grew stronger, echoing the closeness you had once shared as children.
Some days, youâd find yourselves sitting on the porch steps of your house, talking until the sun dipped below the horizon. Other days, youâd meet up for late-night snacks at the convenience store, a habit that reminded you of your carefree teenage days.
But it wasnât just about the nostalgia or the familiarity. There was something deeper now, something unspoken but present in the way he looked at you or the way his gaze lingered a little longer than before. It was subtle, but undeniable.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
One evening, as you both sat under the stars in your backyard, Sunghoon turned to you, his expression thoughtful. âItâs weird, isnât it?â he said quietly.
You looked at him, curious. âWhat is?â
He hesitated for a moment, then shrugged lightly. âHow everything changes but somehow stays the same.â
You knew what he meant. The years had changed both of you, but sitting there with him, it felt like you were slipping back into the simplicity of what you had beforeâbefore life got complicated, before youâd left, before everything.
âYeah,â you agreed softly. âBut in a good way.â
He smiled at that, his gaze meeting yours for a brief, charged moment. âIn a good way,â he repeated quietly.
And just like that, the past weeks had brought you closer to him again. It felt like the Sunghoon you knewâyour childhood best friendâwas back in your life, but with something more layered beneath the surface now. The bond you shared had always been special, but as the days passed, you began to realize it wasnât just about the past. It was about the present, about where you were both headed next.
Little by little, it felt like old times, but it also felt like something new was beginning to bloom between you. Something you werenât ready to name yet, but couldnât deny.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
Sunghoon had always been good at hiding his feelings. Through all the years of friendship, he kept his crush buried deep, tucked away in the corners of his heart. It was easier that way. You had always been oblivious to it, lost in your own world of school, dreams, and later, the whirlwind of your life in the U.S. But now, with you back in his life after years apart, those old, buried feelings were starting to resurface, no matter how hard he tried to keep them at bay.
He remembered high school all too well. You were both juniors, sitting together at the school library late into the evening, pretending to study but really just talking about everything and nothing. Heâd watch you as you rambled on about whatever topic had captured your interest that day, completely unaware of the way his gaze would linger on your face, his heart doing that stupid fluttering thing whenever you laughed.
He could still recall one particular moment as clear as day. You had been struggling with an essay, the stress getting to you, and Sunghoon had tried to help. Youâd glanced up at him, frustration in your eyes, and heâd frozen. For a second, he swore his heart had stopped altogether. You were wearing his jacket that day because youâd forgotten yours at home, and he couldnât focus on anything but how right it looked on you. How much he wanted to tell you that you could keep it forever.
But instead, heâd just shrugged, offering a teasing, âMaybe youâre overthinking it. Itâs not a love letter or anything.â
You had thrown your pencil at him, rolling your eyes. âThanks for the help, genius,â youâd muttered with a laugh, completely oblivious to the way his heart had been racing just from sitting so close to you.
And that was how it always was. You, perfectly unaware. Him, painfully aware.
Now, as he spent more time with you, it was like those feelings had never left. Theyâd just been waiting, buried but not forgotten, and the longer you were back, the harder it became to ignore them. He found himself watching you again, the way he had back in high schoolâonly this time, it felt different. You were different. More grown, more guarded, but still the same girl heâd fallen for all those years ago.
The late-night walks, the quiet conversations under the stars, the way you leaned on him like you used toâall of it was stirring something in him. He tried to tell himself it was just nostalgia, that he was just getting caught up in the past, but the truth was, it was more than that.
It was the way you smiled when you caught him off guard, the way your laughter sounded like home, the way you instinctively reached for him whenever you needed comfort. It all felt too familiar, too easy, and too real.
One evening, as you both sat on the porch steps of your house, watching the sunset, Sunghoon glanced at you out of the corner of his eye. You were talking about something from work, your voice soft, but he wasnât really listening. His mind was somewhere elseâstuck on the way you looked in the fading light, like the girl heâd spent all of high school silently pining over.
It hit him then, harder than he expected, that those feelings hadnât gone anywhere. Not really. He had just buried them because heâd thought he had to. But now, sitting here with you again, laughing like you always did, he wondered if maybe those feelings never really had a chance to fade.
âSunghoon?â you asked, breaking him out of his thoughts.
âHuh?â He blinked, trying to focus on what you were saying.
âYou okay?â You tilted your head, giving him that look you always did when you could tell something was off.
âYeah, just spaced out,â he lied, offering a small smile.
You didnât push, but you gave him a soft smile in return, nudging him playfully. âYouâre not very good at pretending to listen.â
He chuckled, shaking his head. âSorry. Iâll do better next time.â
But as you laughed and went on with your story, Sunghoon couldnât stop the thoughts racing through his mind. How long could he keep pretending that nothing had changed? That his heart wasnât pulling him back to the same place it had always been?
It was different now, though. You werenât just the girl heâd fallen for in high school. You were the woman who had been through heartbreak, who had returned home looking for something familiar, something safe. And despite everything, Sunghoon realized that he still wanted to be that for you. He wanted to be the person you turned toânot just as a friend, but maybe something more.
But the question remained, did you see him that way, or would you always just see the boy next door, your childhood best friend?
His feelings had always been intenseâhe knew that much. But what he didnât expect was how overwhelming theyâd become now that you were back in his life. It wasnât just nostalgia or some fleeting crush he could brush off. No, this ran deeper, more complicated than he was willing to admit. Every time he was near you, his heart ached with the weight of everything heâd kept hidden for so long.
And thatâs why he started avoiding you.
It wasnât something he planned, but he couldnât help it. The more time you spent together, the harder it became to act like everything was normal. Like he wasnât on the verge of telling you exactly how he felt, of confessing that these feelings had never gone away. But how could he? Youâd just come out of one of the worst situations imaginable, and Sunghoon knew you needed time to heal. The last thing he wanted was to complicate things with his feelings, especially when you were clearly not ready for it.
So he pulled back.
It started with small thingsâcanceled plans, excuses about being busy with work, avoiding your messages for a little longer than usual. He didnât want to lie to you, but he also couldnât keep pretending that everything was fine. Every time he saw you, he felt like he was standing on the edge of something he wasnât ready for, and he knew you werenât either.
Yeji noticed first.
âYouâve been acting weird,â she said one evening as they grabbed coffee together. She leaned forward, narrowing her eyes at him. âWhatâs going on?â
Sunghoon shrugged, avoiding her gaze as he sipped his drink. âNothing. Just busy.â
Yeji scoffed. âBusy, huh? Is that why youâve been dodging Y/Nâs calls too?â
He flinched at that, his grip tightening on his cup. Of course, Yeji would notice. She was sharp like thatâalways had been.
âYouâre being ridiculous, you know,â she continued, crossing her arms. âSheâs your best friend. She just got back after everything with Daniel, and youâre avoiding her? Whatâs your problem?â
Sunghoon sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. âIâm not avoiding her,â he mumbled, though he knew it wasnât true.
Yeji raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying it. âReally? Because thatâs what it looks like from where Iâm standing.â
He stayed quiet, unsure of how to explain what was going on in his head. How could he possibly tell Yeji the truth when he hadnât even come to terms with it himself?
âLook, I get it,â Yeji said after a moment, her voice softening. âSheâs been through a lot, and maybe you think giving her space is the right thing to do. But Sunghoon, she needs you. You two have always been there for each other. Whatâs really going on?â
Sunghoon glanced up at her, his chest tight with the weight of what he was about to say. âItâs just⌠complicated.â
Yejiâs eyes widened slightly, as if realizing something. âOh my God. You still like her, donât you?â
The words hung in the air between them, heavy and undeniable. Sunghoon didnât answer at first, but the look on his face mustâve said enough because Yeji leaned back in her chair, her expression softening.
âYou never got over her,â she said quietly.
Sunghoon sighed again, feeling like the dam heâd been holding back was starting to crack. âNo,â he admitted, his voice low. âI never did.â
Yeji didnât say anything for a long moment, just watching him with a mixture of sympathy and understanding. Finally, she leaned forward, her tone gentle but firm. âYou know youâre gonna have to deal with this, right? Avoiding her isnât going to make it go away.â
âI know,â he muttered, running a hand through his hair. âBut itâs not that simple. Sheâs been through so much, Yeji. She doesnât need me coming in and messing everything up with how I feel.â
âShe needs her best friend,â Yeji countered. âYouâre not going to mess anything up by being there for her.â
âBut itâs more than that,â Sunghoon said, his voice tight. âI donât just want to be her best friend, Yeji. I want⌠more. And if I tell her that now, when sheâs still dealing with everything from Daniel, what if I make things worse?â
Yeji leaned back, crossing her arms again as she considered his words. âSunghoon,â she said after a beat, her voice gentle but serious, âyouâre not going to ruin anything by being honest with her. But youâre rightâsheâs not ready for something like that right now. So maybe you donât need to tell her everything just yet. But avoiding her? Thatâs not the answer either.â
Sunghoon frowned, knowing she was right but still feeling conflicted. âI just⌠I donât want to hurt her,â he said quietly.
âI know,â Yeji said softly. âBut trust me, youâre hurting her more by pulling away.â
Sunghoon looked down at his hands, feeling the weight of her words settle over him. He didnât want to hurt you, not after everything youâd already been through. But how could he face you when he could barely manage to keep his feelings under control?
âI just need some time,â he said, almost to himself. âTo figure this out.â
Yeji sighed but nodded, though her expression remained concerned. âJust donât take too long. Sheâs going to notice somethingâs off.â
Sunghoon nodded slowly, knowing deep down that Yeji was right. But for now, he wasnât sure what else to do. All he knew was that the feelings he had buried for so long were clawing their way back to the surface, and no matter how much he wanted to, he couldnât ignore them forever.Â
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
The next few days felt different. You couldnât quite put your finger on it, but something was off with Sunghoon. He was distantâmore than usual. Whenever you tried to hang out like old times, he found an excuse. Too busy with work, too tired from errands, too anything but here.
At first, you tried to ignore it. Maybe he really was busy. Maybe it was just a phase. After all, coming back had changed a lot, for everyone. But the more it happened, the more unsettled you became. You werenât used to Sunghoon being like this, and you couldnât help but wonder if youâd done something wrong.
The morning after your last attempt to make plans, you found yourself sitting at the kitchen table, picking at breakfast while your mind raced. Your mom was bustling around, wiping the counters and humming softly to herself.
âYou look distracted, honey,â she said, glancing over at you. âEverything okay?â
You forced a smile, nodding. âYeah, just thinking.â
Your mom raised an eyebrow, giving you that knowing look she always did when she didnât quite believe you. âDoes this have anything to do with why Sunghoonâs been acting so strange?â
You blinked, caught off guard. âWhat?â
âCome on, Y/N,â she said, turning to face you with a small smile. âIâve known that boy his whole life. Heâs always been so close to you, but lately, heâs been keeping his distance. Somethingâs bothering him, and I think it might have to do with you.â
Your heart sank at her words, and suddenly, all the little things youâd been trying to ignore came rushing to the surface. You hadnât imagined it. Sunghoon was pulling away.
âI donât know, Mom,â you mumbled, fiddling with the edge of your napkin. âHeâs been busy, I guess.â
âMaybe,â she said thoughtfully, âbut busy doesnât explain why he avoids you whenever you come over. I donât think this is about work.â
You stared down at your plate, your chest tightening. The thought of losing Sunghoonâs presence after everything that had happened made your stomach twist. Heâd always been your rockâthe one person who understood you better than anyone. If he was pulling away, what did that mean?
âIâll talk to him,â you said softly, more to yourself than to your mom.
âGood,â your mom said with a warm smile. âIâm sure itâs nothing a good conversation canât fix.â
But as you made your way upstairs to get ready, you couldnât shake the feeling that it wasnât going to be that simple. Sunghoon wasnât the type to pull away without a reason, and you had a sinking suspicion that whatever was going on, it wasnât something heâd be willing to talk about easily.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
Later that afternoon, you found yourself sitting outside on the porch, staring off into the distance as you tried to make sense of it all. The crisp autumn air brushed against your skin, the quiet neighborhood almost too peaceful for the storm of emotions swirling inside you. The longer you thought about it, the more frustrated you became.
Sunghoon wasnât just distantâhe was avoiding you. And that hurt more than you were willing to admit. Youâd been through so much already, and now it felt like you were losing the one person whoâd always been there for you.
Determined not to let this go on any longer, you decided to confront him. You grabbed your phone, quickly typing out a message.
Hey, are you free to talk?
You stared at the screen, waiting for a reply, your heart pounding in your chest. Minutes passed, and just when you thought he might not respond, your phone buzzed.
Busy today. Maybe another time?
Your frustration flared. You knew he wasnât that busy. This was just another excuse.
Without thinking, you typed back.
Sunghoon, whatâs going on? Youâve been avoiding me for days. Did I do something wrong?
You hit send, your fingers trembling slightly. The silence that followed felt suffocating, each passing second adding to the weight in your chest.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, his reply came.
No, you didnât do anything wrong. Iâm just⌠dealing with some stuff. Iâll explain later.
You frowned at the vague response, feeling even more confused. What kind of âstuffâ was he dealing with that he couldnât even talk to you about it? You started typing another message but stopped, realizing that pushing him wouldnât help. If he wasnât ready to talk, there wasnât much you could do.
But that didnât make the sting of his distance any less painful.
You put your phone down, staring out at the quiet street once more. Sunghoon was hiding somethingâsomething big. And no matter how hard you tried to convince yourself it wasnât your fault, you couldnât shake the feeling that it was connected to you.
For the rest of the day, your mind wouldnât let it go. What could possibly make him pull away like this? You had no idea what was going on with him, but one thing was clear: you needed to get to the bottom of it. Because the longer this went on, the more it felt like you were losing him. And you couldnât bear the thought of that, not nowânot after everything youâd been through.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
The next few days were a blur of half-hearted attempts to distract yourself, but Sunghoonâs distance lingered at the back of your mind. Each time you saw him, whether by chance or at family gatherings, it felt like there was this invisible wall between you two, and it hurt more than you wanted to admit.
He wasnât avoiding you entirely, but something was definitely off. The easy-going conversations you used to have were now strained. He barely looked at you, his responses shorter, and you couldnât help but notice how he always found some reason to leave early.
It was Saturday afternoon when Yeji invited you out for coffee. Sheâd noticed the tension too, but unlike you, she wasnât willing to let it slide.
âSo, you and Sunghoon,â she said as soon as you sat down, not even bothering with small talk. âWhatâs going on?â
You blinked, surprised by her directness. âWhat do you mean?â
Yeji gave you a look, crossing her arms. âYou know exactly what I mean, Y/N. Heâs been acting weird since you got back, and donât even try to tell me you havenât noticed.â
You sighed, staring down at your drink. âI donât know. Iâve tried to talk to him, but he just says heâs dealing with stuff. He wonât tell me whatâs wrong.â
Yeji tilted her head, her eyes narrowing in thought. âYou think itâs about Daniel?â she asks you, trying to allude to something more.
The mention of his name made your chest tighten. âI donât know. Maybe? He was weird even before he knew about Daniel.â
âHmm.â Yeji leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms. âThat boyâs always been complicated, but Iâve never seen him this off with you. Itâs like heâs avoiding somethingâsomething big.â
You frowned, feeling even more lost. âBut what? What could it be? I didnât do anything.â
Yeji tapped her fingers on the table, her gaze thoughtful. âMaybe itâs not about something you did. Maybe itâs something heâs dealing with.â
You shook your head. âHe wonât talk to me about it. He just keeps saying heâs busy, but itâs more than that. I can feel it.â
âOf course itâs more than that,â Yeji said, her voice firm. âSunghoonâs always been a terrible liar. Heâs hiding something, and my guess? It has something to do with how he feels about you.â
You blinked, staring at her in confusion. âWhat? What do you mean?â
Yeji sighed, giving you a soft smile. âCome on, Y/N. You really think heâs just your childhood best friend? That boy has been in love with you since high school.â
Your stomach dropped at her words. âNo, he hasnât,â you said quickly, shaking your head. âWeâre just friends. Heâs neverââ
âHeâs never told you,â Yeji finished for you, her tone gentle but serious. âBut trust me, itâs been there. Heâs always liked you, but he never acted on it because he didnât want to ruin what you two had. And now, with everything youâve been through, heâs probably even more scared of saying something.â
You stared at her, stunned into silence. The idea of Sunghoon having feelings for youâreal feelingsâhad never crossed your mind. Sure, youâd always been close, but heâd never given you any reason to think it was more than that. Right?
Yeji sighed, reaching across the table to pat your hand. âLook, Iâm not saying you have to do anything about it. But you need to talk to him. Heâs avoiding you because he doesnât know how to handle what heâs feeling. And im truly so sick of him moping around like a puppy.
You swallowed hard, your mind racing. Was it true? Had Sunghoon really been hiding his feelings all this time? And if he had, what did that mean for you? You couldnât even begin to process the possibility, not after everything that had happened with Daniel. You werenât ready for thisâcouldnât be.
âI donât know,â you mumbled, feeling overwhelmed. âI donât even know if Iâm ready to talk about it.â
Yeji gave you a sympathetic smile. âI get it. But Sunghoon is your best friend, and if you donât at least clear the air, this is just going to keep getting worse. Whatever happens, you both deserve to be honest with each other.â
You nodded slowly, knowing deep down that she was right. Avoiding the situation wasnât helping anyone. If Sunghoon was really struggling with his feelings, the least you could do was try to talk to him about it. But even as you told yourself that, a knot of anxiety settled in your chest.
Because if Sunghoon really had feelings for you, this was going to change everything. And after everything youâd already been through, you werenât sure if you were ready for more change.
But one thing was clear: something had to give. You couldnât keep pretending like everything was normal when it so clearly wasnât.
âIâll talk to him,â you finally said, your voice quiet but determined.
Yeji smiled, squeezing your hand. âGood. Youâll figure it out.â
But as you sat there, sipping your coffee and trying to keep your thoughts from spiraling, you couldnât shake the feeling that things were about to get a lot more complicated.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
That night, you found yourself staring at your phone, Sunghoonâs contact pulled up, your thumb hovering over the call button. The weight of Yejiâs words hung heavy in your mindâheâs always liked youâand the longer you thought about it, the more restless you became.
What if it was true? What if Sunghoon had been hiding his feelings all this time? The idea seemed impossible, but then again, youâd never imagined him pulling away like this either.
With a frustrated sigh, you locked your phone and tossed it onto the bed, running your hands through your hair. You couldnât just call him out of the blue. It had to be face-to-face. You had to know for sure, but the thought of confronting him sent a surge of anxiety through your chest. What would you even say?
Unable to stand the suffocating silence of your room, you grabbed your jacket and slipped out of the house, your feet carrying you in a familiar direction. The night air was cool against your skin as you headed toward the parkâthe same park where you, Sunghoon, and Yeji had spent countless afternoons as kids.
It was quiet when you arrived, the swing set creaking gently in the breeze. You hesitated for a moment before sitting down on one of the swings, the chains groaning under your weight as you gently kicked at the dirt beneath your feet. Memories of your childhood came flooding backâthe three of you racing to the swings, fighting over who could go higher, laughing until your sides hurt.
And then, Sunghoonâs face flashed in your mindâhis shy smile, his teasing words, the way heâd always looked out for you, even when you didnât realize it. Could Yeji really be right? Had he been feeling this way for years?
You were so lost in thought that you didnât hear the footsteps approaching until someone sat down on the swing next to you. You looked up, startled, only to see Sunghoon, his expression unreadable as he stared ahead.
For a moment, neither of you spoke, the silence between you heavy and awkward. You werenât sure whether to be relieved or more anxious that heâd found you here.
âI didnât think youâd be out this late,â Sunghoon finally said, his voice quiet.
âI couldnât sleep,â you replied, your fingers curling around the swingâs chain. âNeeded some air.â
He nodded, his gaze still fixed on the horizon. âMe too.â
You wanted to ask himâneeded toâbut the words felt stuck in your throat. Instead, you sat there, side by side in silence, the tension between you growing thicker with each passing second.
Finally, you couldnât take it anymore. âSunghoon, whatâs going on?â you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
He didnât answer right away. His jaw clenched, his hands gripping the chains of his swing tightly. When he finally spoke, his voice was low, almost strained. âIâve been trying to figure that out myself.â
Your heart skipped a beat at the cryptic response. âIs it me?â you asked, turning to face him fully. âDid I do something wrong?â
His eyes snapped to yours, wide and alarmed. âNo, Y/N, you didnât do anything wrong.â
âThen why are you avoiding me?â you pressed, frustration bubbling to the surface. âYouâve been acting so strange ever since I came back. I donât get it.â
Sunghoon sighed, his gaze dropping to the ground as he raked a hand through his hair. âItâs not that simple.â
âThen explain it to me,â you said, your voice soft but pleading. âPlease, Sunghoon. I donât want to lose you.â
His expression tightened at your words, and for a long moment, he didnât say anything. You could see the internal battle playing out behind his eyes, the conflict heâd been hiding so well suddenly visible. When he finally spoke, his voice was raw, vulnerable in a way youâd never heard before.
âI donât want to hurt you, Y/N.â
His words hung heavy in the air, and your heart clenched in your chest. âYouâre not hurting me. Youâre my best friend, Sunghoon. Whatever it is, we can get through it.â
He let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. âThatâs the problem. I donât know if we can.â
You frowned, confusion swirling in your mind. âWhat do you mean?â
Sunghoonâs eyes met yours, and for the first time, you saw the weight of everything heâd been holding back. His next words came out in a rush, as if heâd been holding them in for far too long.
âIâve always liked you, Y/N. More than just a friend. Since high school, maybe even before then. But I never told you because⌠because I didnât want to mess things up. And then you left, and I thought Iâd gotten over it. But now that youâre backâŚâ He trailed off, his voice catching in his throat. âItâs like all those feelings just came rushing back, and I donât know what to do with them. I canât act on them, not after everything youâve been through with Daniel. Itâs not fair to you.â
Your heart pounded in your chest, Sunghoonâs confession hanging in the air between you like a fragile thread. Youâd always thought of him as your best friend, the one constant in your life that had never changed. But now⌠now everything was different.
âSunghoonâŚâ you whispered, at a loss for words.
âIâm sorry,â he said quickly, standing up from the swing as if he couldnât bear to stay any longer. âI shouldnât have said anything. Iâllââ
âNo,â you said, cutting him off, standing up too. âDonât run away. Not again.â
He looked at you, his expression torn, and for a moment, you saw the vulnerability in his eyesâthe fear of rejection, the fear of losing you completely. You took a deep breath, trying to steady your racing heart.
âSunghoon, I⌠I donât know what to say,â you admitted, your voice trembling. âI never knew you felt that way.â
âI didnât want you to know,â he said quietly. âBut now⌠now I canât hide it anymore.â
The silence between you was deafening, the weight of his confession settling heavily on your shoulders. You didnât know how to respond, not after everything youâd been through. But one thing was certain: nothing between you and Sunghoon would ever be the same again.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
The days that followed felt surreal. Sunghoonâs confession lingered in your mind like a persistent echo, one that you couldnât quite shake off. Every time you replayed his words, your chest tightened, and your thoughts spiraled into confusion. You didnât know how to feelâabout him, about your past, or even about yourself. You spent so many years thinking of Sunghoon as your constant, your rock, your best friend, and now all of that felt uncertain.
Sunghoon avoided you even more than before, making sure he was never in the same place as you for too long. At first, you gave him space, understanding that things were complicated. But the distance started to gnaw at you. Heâd always been the one person you could rely on, and now, when you needed him most, he was pulling away.
It was Yeji who finally brought it up, sitting across from you at the cafĂŠ as she studied your downcast expression.
âYou look like youâve been hit by a truck,â she said bluntly, sipping her iced coffee.
You sighed, pushing your own drink around the table without taking a sip. âIâm fine.â
âYouâre not,â she said flatly. âAnd let me guess, it has something to do with Sunghoon?â
You didnât answer right away, but the slight flicker in your eyes was enough for Yeji to know she was right. She groaned, leaning forward.
âI swear, if you two donât figure this out, Iâm going to lock you in a room until you do.â
You managed a weak smile at her joke, but it faded quickly. âItâs complicated, Yeji.â
âEverything is complicated with you two. But the longer you let this sit, the worse itâs going to get.â
âI donât even know what to say to him,â you admitted, sinking into your seat. âHe told me how he feels, but⌠Iâm not ready for that. I donât know if Iâll ever be.â
Yeji studied you carefully, her expression softening. âYouâve been through a lot with Daniel. No one expects you to be ready for something like this. But Sunghoon is⌠well, heâs not Daniel. You know heâd never hurt you.â
Your throat tightened at her words. âThatâs what makes it worse. I donât want to hurt him either.â
âYou wonât,â Yeji said confidently. âNot if youâre honest with him. He knows what youâve been through, and heâll understand. But avoiding each other like this isnât helping anyone.â
You rubbed your temples, feeling the weight of it all pressing down on you. âI donât know, Yeji. Itâs just⌠too much.â
She reached across the table, placing her hand on top of yours. âTake it one step at a time. Sunghoonâs not going anywhere. He just needs to know where you stand.â
You nodded, knowing deep down that she was right. The tension between you and Sunghoon had become unbearable, and if you didnât talk to him soon, it would only get worse.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
Later that evening, you found yourself standing in front of Sunghoonâs house, your heart racing. You hadnât planned to come here, but your feet had carried you here almost on instinct. His confession had thrown everything into chaos, and you needed to clear the air, for both your sakes.
You took a deep breath before knocking on the door. The wait felt excruciatingly long, but finally, the door opened to reveal Sunghoon, his expression shifting from surprise to something more guarded.
âY/N,â he said, his voice hesitant. âWhat are you doing here?â
âI needed to talk to you,â you replied, trying to steady your voice. âCan we?â
He looked uncertain for a moment, but eventually, he stepped aside, letting you in. You followed him to the living room, the air between you heavy with unspoken words.
Sunghoon stood by the window, his hands stuffed into his pockets, avoiding your gaze. âWhat is it?â
You took a seat on the couch, feeling your pulse quicken. âAbout what you told me the other nightâŚâ
He tensed, his shoulders stiffening. âYou donât have to say anything. I get it.â
âNo,â you interrupted, your voice firmer than you intended. âYou donât get it. You canât just drop something like that on me and then disappear, Sunghoon. Weâve been friends for years. I deserve to know whatâs going on with you.â
Sunghoon sighed, finally turning to face you. âI was trying to give you space. I didnât want to make things harder for you after everything with Daniel.â
âI appreciate that,â you said, your voice softening. âBut shutting me out isnât helping either of us.â
There was a long pause as Sunghoon ran a hand through his hair, clearly struggling with his own emotions. âI didnât know what else to do, Y/N. Iâve been holding this in for so long, and now that itâs out, I donât know how to act around you.â
âYou donât have to act any differently,â you said quietly. âBut you also canât avoid me forever.â
Sunghoon stared at you, a conflicted look in his eyes. âI just⌠I donât want to make things worse. I know youâre not ready for⌠anything like this, and Iâm not going to push you. But itâs hard, Y/N. Itâs hard being around you and pretending like everything is the same when Iâve been feeling this way for so long.â
You looked down, your heart heavy with guilt. âI donât want to lose you, Sunghoon. Youâre one of the most important people in my life, and I canât imagine things without you. But Iâm not ready for more, not after everything that happened.â
âI know,â Sunghoon said softly, his expression pained. âAnd Iâll wait. Iâll always wait for you, Y/N. But that doesnât make it any easier.â
The vulnerability in his voice hit you hard, and for the first time, you saw just how deep his feelings ran. He wasnât asking for anything from youâhe was just being honest, and it was tearing him apart. You took a shaky breath, feeling the weight of it all crashing down on you.
âIâm sorry, Sunghoon,â you whispered, your voice breaking. âI wish things were different.â
He shook his head, stepping closer to you. âDonât be sorry. Itâs not your fault. I just⌠I just needed you to know.â
The silence stretched between you, both of you caught in the painful reality of the situation. Neither of you knew what the future held, but for now, all you could do was take it one step at a time.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
The days passed in an uneasy quiet, the tension between you and Sunghoon lingering like an unspoken secret. He no longer avoided you as much, but the once easy-going banter you shared felt stilted, weighed down by everything unsaid. You couldnât stop thinking about his confession. It felt like a constant reminder of how complicated everything had become. No matter how much you tried to focus on anything else, Sunghoonâs words echoed in your mind, making it impossible to pretend like things were back to normal.
One evening, as you sat in your room, you heard a knock on the door. Your mom poked her head in, smiling warmly.
âDinnerâs ready, sweetheart,â she said, her eyes soft with concern. âYou okay?â
You plastered on a smile, nodding. âYeah, just lost in thought.â
She gave you a knowing look. âYouâve been doing a lot of that lately. Is everything okay between you and Sunghoon?â
Your heart skipped a beat. âWhy do you ask?â
âYou two have always been inseparable, but things seem⌠different now. You can talk to me, you know.â
You bit your lip, unsure of how much to say. You hadnât told your parents anything about Sunghoonâs confession, and you werenât sure you could without making things more complicated. âItâs nothing, Mom. Weâre fine. Just adjusting, I guess.â
She raised an eyebrow but didnât push further. âAlright, but you know weâre here for you. If you need to talk about anythingâabout Sunghoon or anything elseâyou can always come to us.â
You nodded, feeling the weight of her words settle over you. She meant well, but the last thing you wanted was to burden your parents with the tangled mess of your emotions.
After dinner, you found yourself wandering outside, needing fresh air to clear your head. Without thinking, you walked down the familiar path to the park, your steps slow and deliberate. The quiet of the evening felt comforting, a stark contrast to the storm of thoughts swirling inside you. You found your way back to the swings, sitting down as you often did when you needed to think.
As you rocked gently back and forth, your mind drifted back to high school. Back to the carefree days when things between you, Sunghoon, and Yeji had been simple. The memories were vividâlate nights studying together, hanging out at the park after school, and how Sunghoon had always been there, a steady presence by your side. Back then, youâd never questioned his loyalty, never thought twice about the way he always seemed to put you first. But now, looking back, you wondered how you hadnât noticed the way he looked at you, the quiet way his feelings had been growing all along.
You remembered one particular moment, just before you left for the U.S. Sunghoon had walked you home after a late study session, the two of you chatting about nothing in particular. It had been a chilly night, and heâd offered you his jacket without hesitation. Youâd laughed, teased him for being too polite, but his expression had been serious, almost sad. At the time, you hadnât thought much of it, chalking it up to the fact that youâd be leaving soon. But now, in hindsight, you realized it had been more than that. Sunghoon had been struggling with his feelings, even back then, and youâd been completely oblivious.
A pang of guilt hit you as you thought about how long he mustâve held everything inside, how hard it mustâve been for him to see you leave, knowing you didnât feel the same way. And now, after everything that had happened with Daniel, Sunghoon was still there, waiting for you in the background, even though you couldnât give him what he wanted.
âWhy does everything have to be so complicated?â you muttered to yourself, staring up at the darkening sky.
Just as you were about to lose yourself in more memories, you heard footsteps approaching from behind. You didnât have to turn around to know who it was. Sunghoon.
âYouâre here again,â he said, his voice quiet but familiar as he sat on the swing next to you.
âI needed to think,â you replied softly, your eyes still focused on the ground. âThis place⌠it helps.â
Sunghoon nodded, his gaze drifting up toward the sky. âYeah. Itâs always been like that, hasnât it?â
A comfortable silence fell between you, though it was laced with the tension of everything unsaid. For a moment, it felt like old timesâjust the two of you, sitting together in quiet understanding. But you knew things were different now, no matter how much you wanted to pretend otherwise.
Finally, you broke the silence, your voice tentative. âSunghoon⌠I know things have been weird lately. And I hate it.â
He didnât respond right away, but you could feel the weight of his gaze on you. âI know.â
âI justââ You hesitated, trying to find the right words. âI donât want to lose you. I donât want things to be like this between us.â
Sunghoon sighed, running a hand through his hair. âI donât want that either, Y/N. But I donât know how to make it less weird. I canât just forget what I said.â
âIâm not asking you to,â you said quickly. âBut maybe we can figure this out. I need you, Sunghoon. I donât know what Iâd do without you.â
He looked at you, his expression conflicted. âI need you too. But thatâs the problem.â
Your heart clenched at his words. You could see the struggle in his eyesâthe fight between his feelings for you and his desire to protect you from more pain. It wasnât fair to him, and you knew it. But you didnât know how to fix it, how to make things go back to the way they were.
âIâm sorry,â you whispered, the guilt heavy in your chest.
Sunghoon shook his head, his voice soft but firm. âDonât be. Itâs not your fault. None of this is.â
You sat there in silence, the distance between you feeling both vast and fragile. There was so much you wanted to say, so much you needed to figure out. But for now, all you could do was sit side by side, both of you trying to navigate the complicated mess of feelings that had always been there, just beneath the surface.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
Weeks passed, and the uneasy tension that once lingered between you and Sunghoon gradually began to fade. Little by little, things started to feel like they were falling back into place, though not quite the same as before. The awkward silences became comfortable again, and the shared moments between you started to carry a different weight.
You found yourself paying closer attention to him in ways you never had before. The small gesturesâhow heâd bring you coffee without asking, or how heâd go out of his way to make sure you were comfortableâbegan to take on a deeper meaning. Sunghoon wasnât just being your best friend; he was being your support, your constant, the one person who had always been there for you, even when you didnât realize how much you needed him.
It was in those moments that your feelings began to shift. At first, you tried to brush them off, telling yourself it was just gratitude, that you were still recovering from everything with Daniel. But the more time you spent with Sunghoon, the harder it became to ignore the warmth that bloomed in your chest every time he smiled at you, or the way your heart raced whenever your hands accidentally brushed.
One evening, the two of you sat in your backyard, a quiet evening settling in around you. Sunghoon had insisted on helping your father with a project earlier, and afterward, he stayed for dinner, as he often did. Now, the two of you were sitting on the porch, the cool breeze gently rustling the leaves above you.
Sunghoon leaned back, his eyes drifting to the sky. âYouâve been quiet tonight,â he said softly, glancing at you. âEverything okay?â
You smiled at the concern in his voice, feeling that familiar warmth spread through you again. âYeah, Iâm just⌠thinking.â
He turned slightly to face you, raising an eyebrow. âAbout what?â
You hesitated, unsure how to put your feelings into words. You werenât ready to say everything out loud yet, but you couldnât shake the overwhelming sense of gratitude and admiration you felt for him. âJust about how things have changed⌠and how much youâve been there for me.â
Sunghoonâs gaze softened, and he shrugged casually, though you could see a flicker of something deeper in his eyes. âThatâs what friends do, right?â
You nodded, but the word âfriendsâ felt wrong now. There was something more between you, something that had been growing quietly in the background, and it was starting to become impossible to deny. You werenât sure when it had happened, or maybe it had always been there, buried beneath the surface. But what you did know was that Sunghoon wasnât just your friend anymore.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
More time passed and you found yourself seeking him out more, spending more time with him than anyone else. You began to crave his company, his quiet strength, and the way he seemed to understand you without needing to ask. And it wasnât just the grand gestures that made your heart flutterâit was the small things. The way he always checked if you were okay, how he listened when you talked, really listened, and how heâd make sure you werenât alone whenever you seemed down.
It was these little acts of kindness, the quiet care he showed you, that made your feelings for him grow into something undeniable.
One evening, the two of you found yourselves at the park again, sitting on the swings like you used to as kids. The sky was a deep shade of pink and orange, the sun setting in the distance. Sunghoon was talking about somethingâwork, maybeâbut you werenât really listening. Instead, you were focused on him, on the way his hair fell into his eyes, the way his voice softened when he talked to you.
You realized, suddenly and overwhelmingly, that you cared for him in a way you hadnât cared for anyone else. It wasnât just that Sunghoon had been there for you, but the way he had always, quietly and without expectation, supported you, no matter what. He didnât ask for anything in return, didnât push you for answers or confessions. He just⌠cared.
And thatâs when you knew. You had feelings for Sunghoon. They had been there all along, waiting for you to realize it.
Sunghoon must have noticed the look on your face because he stopped mid-sentence, turning to you with a curious expression. âWhat is it?â
You blinked, startled out of your thoughts. âWhat?â
âYouâre staring at me,â he said, a hint of amusement in his voice.
You felt your cheeks heat up, quickly looking away. âI wasnât.â
He laughed softly, but didnât push further. Instead, he leaned back on the swing, the smile fading as a comfortable silence settled between you. You wanted to say something, to tell him what was on your mind, but the words wouldnât come. Not yet.
For now, you were content just being here with him, the weight of your growing feelings a secret you werenât quite ready to share. But you knew, deep down, that it wouldnât be long before those feelings couldnât be hidden any longer.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
It was a cozy Friday evening, and the house felt unusually quiet. Your parents and Sunghoonâs parents had decided to take a weekend trip together, leaving the two of you alone for the night. You had taken advantage of the opportunity to host a movie night, and the living room was filled with the inviting smell of popcorn and the soft glow of fairy lights strung around the room.
You settled onto the couch, a soft blanket draped over your legs, while Sunghoon reclined next to you, the space between you filled with a warm tension. The movie played in the background, but you found it hard to focus on the screen. Instead, your gaze kept drifting to himâthe way the light danced in his hair, the casual way he laughed at the jokes, and the ease of his presence next to you.
As the minutes turned into hours, you felt the atmosphere shift. Each time you glanced at him, your heart raced a little more. You couldnât ignore the way your feelings for him had transformed over the last few weeks, the moments you had shared sparking something deeper than friendship.
Finally, during a quieter moment in the movie, you turned to him, heart pounding. âSunghoon,â you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper. He turned his head, eyebrows raised in curiosity, his expression inviting you to continue.
You hesitated for a moment, unsure if you should voice what had been on your mind for so long. But the warmth of his gaze, the way he was looking at you, made the decision feel inevitable. âI need to tell you something,â you began, feeling your heart race.
He tilted his head slightly, encouraging you. âWhat is it?â
You took a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves. âIâve been thinking a lot about us⌠and how I feel about you.â Your voice trembled slightly as you spoke, but you pressed on. âWhen I came back to Korea, everything felt so chaotic. But you⌠you were there for me in a way I didnât expect. And the more time we spend together, the more I realize that I care about you, Sunghoon. A lot.â
His eyes widened slightly, surprise flickering across his face. âY/N, Iââ
Before he could respond, you continued, your heart pounding in your chest. âI know Iâve been through a lot, and I donât want to rush anything. But I canât pretend anymore. I have feelings for youâfeelings that go beyond friendship. I want to explore this⌠whatever this is between us.â
A moment of silence stretched between you, filled with the weight of your confession. You could see the shock in his expression slowly melting into something softer, something hopeful.
âIâve wanted to hear you say that,â he finally said, his voice low and sincere. âI care about you too, Y/N. Iâve felt this way for a long time, but I didnât know if youâd feel the same after everything thatâs happened.â
Your heart soared at his words, relief flooding through you. âReally?â you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
He nodded, a small smile spreading across his lips. âReally.â
In that moment, everything else faded away. You felt a magnetic pull between you, drawing you closer together. Without thinking, you leaned in, your heart racing as you closed the space between you.
Sunghoon met you halfway, his lips brushing against yours with a gentle hesitance that quickly melted into a deeper kiss. It was electricâfilled with all the unspoken emotions you had both held back for so long. The world outside your living room ceased to exist, leaving only the warmth of his body and the rhythm of your hearts.
You melted into him, feeling the softness of the couch beneath you as he deepened the kiss, hands finding their way to your waist, pulling you closer. You could feel the heat radiating between you, igniting something passionate and alive that you hadnât anticipated.
You  moaned softly into Sunghoon's mouth, the sound fueling his desire even further. Breaking the kiss for air, you stared into each other's eyes, both breathless and flushed. "Your room," Sunghoon whispered hoarsely. "Let's go to your room."
Hand in hand, you made your way to your childhood bedroom, a space that held countless memories of your friendship. The room was a sanctuary, adorned with pictures and trinkets from your shared adventures. Sunghoon closed the door behind you, sealing your private world from the outside.
You leaned against the door, heart racing as he approached her. He gently cupped your face, his thumbs brushing against your soft cheeks. "I've dreamed of this moment for so long," he murmured, his voice husky with desire.Your lips met again, this time with a hunger that burned through your restraint. Sunghoon's hands roamed over your body, exploring the curves and contours of your hips and waist. His fingers played with the hem of your tshirt, as if he was silently asking permission to take it off of you. You nod, his hands wasting no time in peeking the fabric to reveal the lacy black bra you wore beneath.Â
Your breath caught in your throat as his fingertips traced the delicate lace, sending shivers down her spine.
With deft fingers, Sunghoon unhooked your bra, freeing your breasts. You gasp at the cold air that suddenly hits you. He gazed at them with reverence, his eyes dark with desire. Leaning down, he took one nipple into his mouth, suckling gently while his thumb teased the other.  You arch your back at the sensation, moaning softly as waves of pleasure rippled through you.
"You're so beautiful, Y/N," Sunghoon whispered against you skin. "I want to make you feel so good."
Feeling a sudden burst of eagerness, your hands found their way to Sunghoon's belt, unbuckling it with trembling fingers. You undid his jeans and slid your hand inside, wrapping your fingers around his hardening cock through his boxers. Sunghoon gasped, his breath hot against your neck, placing a small, wet kiss there as you began to stroke him. âS-shit baby.â
You slip your hand out, guiding Sunghoon towards your bed, you pushed him gently onto the mattress, positions now reversed. You straddled his waist, grinding your hips against his, feeling his erection press against your clothed cunt. His hands roamed over your thighs, inching upwards, exploring the soft skin beneath her shorts that had been driving him insane since the moment he stepped foot inside your house.Â
With a gentle tug, you lifted your hips as he removed your shorts as well as the cute black panties that matched your bra, revealing your bare pussy, glistening with desire. Sunghoon's eyes darkened further as he took in the sight, his breath coming in short gasps. "You're so wet, Y/N. want to taste you so bad."
âlater, you say as you slide down his body, positioning yourself between his legs. You leaned forward, your long hair cascading over your shoulders, as you began to kiss and lick the length of his shaft. Sunghoon groaned, his hands gripping the bedsheets as you took him deep into your mouth, tongue swirling around the head of his cock. âFeels so good babyâ
Sunghoon couldn't hold back any longer. He sat up, positioning you on the bed, and parted your thighs with gentle kisses. His tongue traced the outer folds of your pussy, teasing your sensitive skin. You squirmed with pleasure,  hips bucking against his face as he found your clit and began to suckle it with relentless passion.
"Oh, Sunghoon!" you cried out,  voice hoarse with desire. "Fuck don't stop, please!"
Sunghoon continued his relentless assault on your clit, sending you spiraling towards an intense orgasm âtastes so fucking good, all wet just for me.â Your body trembled,  crying out his name as waves of pleasure washed over you. Sunghoon didn't let up, continuing to lick and suck until you were a quivering mess, your body drenched in sweat and satisfaction.
After a few moments to recover, you reached for Sunghoon, pulling him up to kiss him in a more hungry kiss. You could taste yourself on his lips, and it drove you wild with desire all over again. "I want you inside me," you whispered between kisses. "Now."
Sunghoon needed no further encouragement. He positioned himself at your entrance, his cock throbbing with anticipation. With one smooth thrust, he filled you completely, eliciting a gasp from your parted lips. you moved in perfect harmony, your bodies slick with sweat as ge fucked you with raw, unbridled passion.
"Harder, baby" you pleaded, nails digging into his shoulders. "fuck me harder.â Sunghoon obliged, pounding into you with abandon, his hips slamming against yours.Â
The headboard banged against the wall, marking the rhythm of your frantic coupling. your cries filled the room as you rode the waves of pleasure,  orgasm building to an intense crescendo.
âFuck baby your pussys clenching so hard around my cock, im so fucking close.â You could feel his thrusts becoming sloppier, your own orgasm approaching just a quick. âgonna c-cum hoonie.â He couldn't hold back any longer. With a final, powerful thrust, he came deep inside you, his hot cum painting your walls white.Â
He collapsed onto the bed, bodies entwined, both breathing heavily as the aftershocks of pleasure rippled through each of you. âIf I wouldâve known youâd fuck me that good maybe I wouldâve given you a chance much earlier.â You tell him out of breath, eliciting a chuckle from him.Â
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
The soft morning light streamed through the curtains, casting a gentle glow in your room. You stirred awake, feeling warmth enveloping you. Sunghoon was nestled beside you, his arm draped protectively around your waist, holding you close. The memory of the night before flooded your mindâthe kiss, the confessions, and the spark of something beautiful igniting between you.
You smiled to yourself, feeling a sense of contentment that you hadnât experienced in a long time. But as you settled deeper into his embrace, a sudden noise from downstairs jolted you from your blissful reverie.
âY/N, I think your parents are back,â Sunghoon murmured sleepily, rubbing his eyes as he became more alert.
Your heart raced as the reality of the situation hit you. âOh fuck, Theyâre not supposed to be back yetâ you whispered, panic rising in your chest.
Sunghoonâs eyes widened, and he immediately sat up, glancing around the room. âWe need to hurryâ
You both scrambled to untangle yourselves from the sheets, adrenaline coursing through you. As you hopped out of bed, you glanced at each other, both of you laughing nervously at the chaotic situation. There was an unspoken agreementâyou needed to act casual, like nothing unusual had happened.
âOkay, you get dressed first,â you said, tossing him a T-shirt and a pair of sweatpants that had been strewn on the floor. âIâll throw on something too.â
You quickly changed into a comfy hoodie and leggings, your heart still racing as you heard your parentsâ voices growing louder downstairs. The last thing you wanted was for them to walk in on you two after the night you just shared.
âAre you ready?â Sunghoon asked, his hair slightly tousled as he pulled on the T-shirt. He looked adorable, and it took everything in you not to linger on how cute he was at that moment.
âAlmost!â you replied, giving your reflection a quick check in the mirror before moving to the door. âLetâs go!â
You both rushed down the stairs, trying to make as little noise as possible, your hearts pounding in your chests. As you reached the bottom step, you could hear your parents chatting in the kitchen, their voices bright and cheerful.
âY/N, are you home?â your mom called out just as you and Sunghoon entered the living room, trying to appear nonchalant.
âYeah, Mom! Just hanging out!â you replied, forcing a casual tone, hoping it didnât sound too forced.
You glanced over at Sunghoon, who was giving you a small, reassuring smile, but you could see the nervousness in his eyes. You both moved into the kitchen, where your parents were unpacking bags, completely oblivious to the whirlwind of emotions that had just taken place in your room.
âHey, Sunghoon! youâre here,â your dad said, giving him a friendly nod. âDid you keep Y/N entertained while we were gone?â
âOf course!â Sunghoon replied, a little too quickly, his eyes darting to you for a brief moment. âWe had a fun movie night.â
You nodded enthusiastically, trying to match his energy. âYeah, just a normal hangout. Nothing out of the ordinary,â you added, unable to hide the hint of a nervous laugh.
Your mom chuckled, giving you both a knowing look. âYou two have always been inseparable. Iâm glad youâre spending time together.â
You felt your cheeks flush, and you shot Sunghoon a sidelong glance. He was trying hard not to smile, and it was contagious.
âDid you enjoy the trip?â you asked, hoping to shift the conversation away from the night before.
Your parents launched into stories about their travels, and as you listened, you couldnât help but sneak glances at Sunghoon. He caught your eye, and you both exchanged a small smile that felt electric, reminding you of the connection you had just started to explore.
As breakfast was prepared, the atmosphere felt relaxed and easy, but your heart raced at the thought of your parents unknowingly interrupting something that had felt so significant. You couldnât help but feel giddy about the night you had shared, and the prospect of what lay ahead for you and Sunghoon, even as the morning unfolded like any other day.
After breakfast, your parents retreated to the living room to relax, leaving you and Sunghoon to clean up the kitchen. The atmosphere felt light, almost like the calm before a storm as you both exchanged playful banter, your earlier connection still fresh in your minds.
Later that afternoon, you heard a familiar voice ring out from the front door. âY/N! Iâm here!â Yeji called as she burst into the house, her energy immediately filling the space.
You couldnât help but smile, excitement bubbling up at the sight of your childhood best friend. âYeji! Youâre back!â you exclaimed, rushing to greet her with a hug.
As you pulled away, she looked at you intently, her gaze sweeping over you from head to toe. âYouâre glowing,  Whatâs going on with you?â she asked, a teasing lilt in her voice.
Your cheeks flushed slightly, and you tried to play it cool. âWhat are you talking about?â you said, attempting to sound nonchalant, but you felt a giddy warmth spread through you.
âOh, come onâ Yeji pressed, her eyes sparkling with curiosity. âYou look so happy. Are you and sunghoon fianlly together?â
You felt your heart race at the thought. âItâs⌠complicated,â you said, a shy smile creeping onto your face as you remembered the kiss, the way he made you feel, and the warmth that had lingered long after. âWeâre just figuring things out.â
âJust figuring things out?â Yeji exclaimed, her voice rising in disbelief. âY/N, youâre practically radiating happiness, That sounds like a classic âweâre togetherâ situation to me now spill bitch.â
You laughed, unable to suppress the joy bubbling inside you. âI promise, itâs nothing like that! Weâre just friends hanging outâwell, more than friends, but still⌠you know.â You were stumbling over your words, and you could feel the warmth of your blush creeping down your neck.
Yejiâs eyes widened, her expression a mix of disbelief and excitement. âOh my god, did you fuck?â she pressed, bouncing slightly on her heels, clearly thrilled at the prospect.
You donât say anything, except you give her a knowing look that told her everything she needs to know.Â
Yejiâs smile grew wider, her excitement infectious. âFucking finally. I thought you idiots would never figure it outâ She grabbed your shoulders, her eyes gleaming. âYou have to tell me everything.â
Just then, Sunghoon appeared in the doorway, glancing between the two of you, a bemused smile on his face. âWhatâs going on in here?â he asked, leaning against the doorframe with an amused expression.
Yeji turned to him, her eyes sparkling with mischief. âOh, just catching up on the latest drama. Y/N and I were just talking about how sheâs glowing andââ
You quickly interjected, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks. âWe were just talking about⌠uh, my skincare routine!â
Sunghoon raised an eyebrow, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips. âYour skincare routine, huh? Sounds fascinating.â
âShut up,â you shot back playfully, laughter spilling out. But deep down, you felt a thrill at the thought of your feelings for him becoming more public, shared between friends.
Yeji wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, a teasing smile on her face.
You rolled your eyes, but you couldnât help the smile that spread across your face. As Sunghoon joined the conversation, you felt a warmth in your heart, realizing how much you had missed thisâhow much you had missed him.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
You and Sunghoon settled into a rhythm of secrecy and excitement. Every stolen moment felt like a thrilling adventure, each shared smile charged with an energy that left you both breathless. You spent evenings hanging out at parks, grabbing snacks at your favorite convenience store, and reliving old memories. But as your bond deepened, so did the intensity of your feelings.
You both agreed to keep things under wraps for a little while longer, wanting to navigate this new chapter without the pressure of parental expectations looming over you. But sneaking around only added to the thrill, and soon, it became second nature.
One Friday evening, you decided to go on a real date. After all, you had managed to keep things low-key, but you were ready to enjoy being together without the pressure of hiding. You picked a charming little cafĂŠ downtown, a spot you both loved, and as the sun began to set, the place glowed with a warm, inviting ambiance.
You shared a dessert and exchanged playful banter, the world outside fading away. Sunghoonâs laughter felt like music, and each lingering glance seemed to whisper promises of something beautiful. The night was perfectâuntil it was time to go home.
As you walked down the quiet street, the cool night air wrapping around you, you felt a surge of affection. You turned to Sunghoon, smiling softly, and without thinking, you pulled him into a warm embrace. It felt so right, being close to him, your heart racing at the proximity.
But just as you pulled away, a familiar voice broke the silence. âWell, well, well. What do we have here?â
Startled, you turned to see your parents standing just a few feet away, a mix of surprise and amusement on their faces. Sunghoonâs eyes widened, and you felt your heart drop. âUh⌠hey!â you stammered, feeling heat rise to your cheeks.
Your mom stepped forward, a knowing smile spreading across her face. âWe always knew you two would end up together,â she said, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow playfully.
Sunghoon chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. âUm, well, this is a bit unexpected.â
Your dad grinned, stepping beside your mom. âYou think we wouldnât notice the way you two look at each other? Youâve been sneaking around, havenât you?â
You exchanged glances with Sunghoon, a mix of embarrassment and relief flooding through you. âOkay, maybe a little,â you admitted, unable to hide your smile.
âJust a little?â Yeji suddenly appeared from behind your parents, her arms crossed and an amused look on her face. âI could have told you they were dating from the way they looked at each other!â
Your heart raced, but seeing the warmth in your parentsâ eyes eased your nerves. âWe just wanted to take our time, you know?â you said, looking up at Sunghoon.
Your mom laughed softly. âYou kids and your secrets. We were starting to wonder when you would finally tell us!â
Sunghoon relaxed, a smile spreading across his face. âSorry for keeping it from you, but we wanted to figure things out first.â
Your dad patted Sunghoon on the back. âYouâre a good kid. Weâre just happy to see you both happy. Just remember to keep it respectful, alright?â
You nodded vigorously, feeling the weight lift off your shoulders. As you stood there, surrounded by family and friends, you realized how wonderful it felt to share your happiness openly.
Sunghoon looked at you, his expression softening. âWell, I guess the secretâs out,â he said, smiling broadly.
You chuckled, leaning against him, warmth spreading through you. âYeah, but I wouldnât have it any other way.â
As you walked home together, hand in hand, you knew this was just the beginning of a new chapter in your livesâone filled with love, laughter, and the promise of many more adventures to come.
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So This Is Love
jason todd x fem!reader
aka you show each other what love is supposed to be like
4 in 1 blurbs
warnings: section 1: close-call panic attack for j, mentions of ptsd for j // section 2: implied sexual activity // section 3: mild angst w comfort // section 4: implied ptsd for j
He feels like his heart might burst through his chest.
The nightmare wasnât anything unusual for him, but it did feel particularly vivid tonight. It was more of a memory than anything, though. That same one that plays on a loop in his head throughout the night the more he tries to push it away during the day. It was the last thwack of the crowbar that had him jolt awake in bed.
You shift in your spot next to him, opening your eyes to see his rattled state. If heâd been in a clearer frame of mind he wouldâve lied to you. He wouldâve expertly leveled his breathing and told you everything was fine and to go back to sleep.
But instead, he looks over at you with wide eyes, chest heaving and shaking like he might start hyperventilating at any moment.
You shoot up from the bed, instantly on alert. This isnât the first time heâs had one of these nightmares around you, so itâs not hard for you to guess where this is coming from.
âJay? Whatâsâwhat do you need?â You know better than to try and touch him unprompted right now, youâve panicked enough yourself to know that sudden contact only makes it worse.
âIâI canât, Iââ Now he really looks like heâs about to lose all control of his breathing.
You sit up further, moving onto your knees. âHere, let meâcan I see your hand?â you ask gently, holding your own out.
He extends it to you without question, a tiny act of vulnerability that he couldnât have dreamed of doing in this state before he met you.
You flip his hand over, palm-up and start tracing lines over it in the moonlight. Youâre looking at his hand quite intently like thereâs something very important on it. Itâs enough to make him question what the hell youâre doing.Â
âI can read palms.â You tell him, simply.Â
âWhat?â His voice almost breaks, like heâs right at the edge of tears.Â
âYeah, my friend taught me. I can tell the future and everything.â You look up at him, fingers not stopping their trailing. âDo you wanna hear yours?â
All he can do is nod.
You smile and start to inspect his hand carefully, tracing over calluses and a few tiny scars. You draw your finger across the short, deep line parallel to his fingers.
âThis oneâŚsee the way it curves upwards right there?â He nods. âThat means youâre very resourceful and ambitious. Like a leader.â His breathing starts to slow as he watches you, trying to focus on what youâre showing him in the dim light from the window.
âAnd this one,â you trace the line that curves downwards in the middle, âThis one says that youâre strong and stubborn, which I can confirm,â he huffs out a laugh. Itâs little but itâs genuine. âBut it also means that youâre resilient. Youâre built to overcome things and bounce back even stronger because of them. Which I can also confirm.â
He leans forward, resting his forehead against yours. He takes in a deep breath, watching you draw patterns across the base of his palm.
The sensation soothes him in a way that he frankly didnât know he could be soothed. He figures he usually canât, except when itâs you. He tries to match your breathing, syncing up with you. If anyone else tried to get this close to him when he was on the verge of a panic attack theyâd get punched, at best.
But youâŚyou always know how to help him. Heâs considered in the past that he did something really right somewhere down the line and you were sent to him as reward. Heâd racked his mind for hours of every good thing heâd ever done, trying to find one that could explain your presence in his life. For anything that could explain why he deserved you. He poured and poured over every memory he could dig up but couldnât find any good heâd ever done that surmounted to a single piece of the good in your heart.
There was a time when he wouldâve thoughtâwhen he did think that you were only in his life to be taken away as soon as he felt safe. That would certainly be in line with previous experiences. But you showed him quickly that you have this way about youâŚit makes those loud thoughts in the back of his head shut up and just listen. Listen to your words, your breathing, your footsteps, your laughâŚanything he could. Because it turns out, when he listens, he feels safe.Â
Heâs quiet for a long time, contentedly watching you work. He notices that at some point youâd stopped tracing the lines and began drawing designs instead.Â
He breaks the silence after several minutes, softly commenting, âYou donât know how to read palms.â
âNo, I do not.âÂ
But you continued to leave your invisible art on the palm of his hand just the same, both of you taking comfort in the sound of the other's breathing and the soothing feeling of each otherâs skin.
The radio plays lightly in the background, surrounding your night with soft ambience. Youâre working at the cutting board with tomatoes as Jason leans against the counter next to you, having just finished getting the pasta set up on the stove.
His hands find your hips, resting them there as he watches you work over your shoulder.
âWatch your thumb.â He comments when the knife gets a little too close for his liking.
You shrug him off, âI know how to do it.â
He eyes the way the knife stutters as you cut through the tomato, slicing through not very cleanly at all. âDoesnât look like it.â
You ignore him, elbowing him gently in the abdomen. Heâs joking, but heâs not. The skill level youâre displaying is only above Bruce and slightly below Tim, which is not great.
âWill you let me do it?â he asks you when he realizes thereâs going to be no improvement.Â
âFine.â You relent with faux annoyance.Â
You switch over to the stovetop, keeping a careful eye on the pasta as it cooks. Itâs quiet for a moment as he works, chopping with much more efficiency than you had. Â
âYou didnât have to stay here tonight, you know.â You say quietly, still intently watching the stove.
In spite of the music, your low volume does nothing to faze him as he continues his actions, âWhy wouldnât I?â
You stir the contents of the saucepan around. âWell, I know Roy wanted you to go outâŚâ
âNot missing much.â He mumbles, opening up the above cabinet to get out plates.
You lull your head to the side, âCome on, heâs your best friend.â
Jason frowns. âHeâs not my best friend.â
You turn your head towards him, âNo?â
He meets your gaze, frown consistent. âNo. You are.â He says it like heâs confused that you donât know that.Â
âOh.â You smile, âYouâre my best friend too.â
His eyes soften at that, a light smile gracing his lips. He knew that, and he knew youâd say it, but hearing it out loud justâŚdoes something to him.
You flick the stove top off, prompting him to on instinct reach for the Marinara jar and crack it open for you. He hands it to you and you accept with a smile, twisting it open the rest of the way as you turn back to the stove. The jar sputters as you open, spitting out sauce.   Â
âOh, shit.â You hiss, when the splatter hits your shirt.
He takes one glance at the mess on your shirt and pulls his own shirt off his back. Heâs tugging yours off just as fast, replacing it with his. Youâve barely processed what happened as he scans your body, eyes lingering on where his shirt stops at your thighs. âCan you wear this to bed tonight?â He asks, hands running over your waist.
You laugh, âReally?â
He meets your eyes, face serious. âYes.â He squeezes your hip, âYou look good.â
âIn your shirt.â You say with a knowing smile.
âIn my shirt.â He confirms.
You turn back to the stove to dish out the salsa, his hands skimming around your thighs as you do. He watches you as you work, though rather than watching your hands heâs fixated on the size of his shirt over you and how fucking good you look right now.Â
âOrâŚâ He sweeps his eyes over your legs before looking back up at you again. âDidâya turn the stove off?â
You tilt your head at him, âI didâŚ?â
He grins at you, lifting you up by your thighs til youâre a head above him. âGood.â He maneuvers you over to the counter, setting you on top. He brings your wrist up to his mouth to press a delicate kiss before dropping to his knees.
Youâve been laying in bed for at least three hours, bordering on sleep but never quite falling in. You and Jason had a little spat, though nothing insurmountable, it was still the biggest fight youâve had to date. Youâd tried going out (at night) to see your friend that was having a hard time, and yeah, you shouldâve told Jason you were going. It was only five blocks, give or take, but in Gotham at eleven oâclock at night, itâs a risk to say the least.
You shouldâve told Jason, you know. But he wouldnât have let you go or wouldâve insisted on putting hold on patrolling to accompany you. You always feel bad when he does thatâpeople could be getting hurt somewhere because you needed your boyfriend to walk you down the street. Unfortunately, it didnât matter in the end because he caught you red handed before youâd even made it a full block away. Of all the nights for him to come home early, it had to be this one.
He dropped down from the rooftop behind you and scared the absolute hell out of you, and you didnât even have time to be relieved that it was just him because he was on you in a flash.Â
âWhat the hell are you doing out here?â His voice was hard through the modulator, a rare tone for him to use with you.
âI justâmy friendââ he sounded tired and angry, sure signs that heâd really not had a good night so far which was probably all the more reason that you shouldnât have been out by yourself in the middle of the night.
âWhat are youâno! Go home. Now.â You wouldâve, you really wouldâve, but your friend called you crying about her boyfriend cheating on her again and she needed the in person support.Â
âJaââ Youâd cut yourself off, âItâs down the street, itâs fineââ He dropped his shoulders in a huff and faced you dead-on. You didnât need him to take his helmet off to know exactly how he was looking at you.
He dropped down and hooked his arm around the back of your legs, lifting you off the ground with no discernible effort. âWhaââ
He started walking before you were even fully planted on his shoulder, arm wrapping around your legs to hold you in place.Â
âHood! I am so fucking serious, put me down!â You swatted at his back and struggled in his grip, though in the back of your mind you knew it was a pointless effort. Even if you were a match in size, whatever mood heâd been pushed in was enough to guarantee that you had no chance.Â
He ignored you, not even pretending that you were giving him any difficulty with your squirming. He marched you back down the block to your apartment, not stopping until youâre outside your door. He set you down in between him and the entrance, digging into his pocket for his key.
He kicked the door shut behind him, finally letting you go. He wordlessly grabbed one of his spare guns and two cartridges of ammo from inside the closet by the door and turned back to you with a firm stance. âStay here.â
You immediately tried to push past him again, at that point more angry about him dragging you back here than about having to duck out on your friend. He stopped you, holding you by the arms, which led you to respond by raising your voice at him, âJason!âÂ
But he didnât waste any time letting you know how it is, âI will lock you in this fucking apartment. Stay. Here.â Him cursing at you like that was very rare and not a particularly good sign, so through your anger youâd made the decision that it was better to relent, for now. Your posture dropped and you frowned at him resentfully, a visible cue that you were giving in without you having to say it.Â
He stayed true to his word and locked the door on his way out, though knowing you could easily unlock it from the inside. Youâd trudged into your bedroom, slamming the door behind you.  Â
Now you lay on Jasonâs usual side of the bed, partially because you do miss him, partially because the bed feels a little less empty when you canât see all the empty space. You know he was just trying to keep you safe after what was probably a rough start to the night, so you feel less than great that youâd yelled at him.
Your dwelling over the memory is interrupted by a quiet creak of the bedroom door. You blink up at him blearily, âJay?â You sit up, furrowing your brow. You didnât even hear him come home. âWhatâs wrong?â You figure he must be hurt to come in hereâitâs not unknown for him to sleep on the couch if he feels like he did something wrong or upset you.  Â
Your eyes attempt to adjust to the darkness, scanning over him for any injuries. Heâs out of his armor and in his regular clothes which means he must have showered already. And you know from dozens of nights patching him up that he always tends to his injuries before showering.
This leaves you confused, as you look up at him, waiting for an answer. âI canâtâŚI donât want to sleep without you.â He whispers, eyes on the floor.Â
You shuffle back into your usual spot near the wall and hold your hand out to him expectantly. Youâre still a bit cross with him, but you miss him too much to care right now.
It takes him a second to move, but he eventually lingers away from the door and makes his way to the bed. He takes your hand as he climbs onto the bed, letting go only when you lay down after him, staring up at the ceiling next to him.Â
You werenât entirely expecting him to wrap his arms around you and tug you into his chest. Somewhere in the back of your mind youâd assumed he would lay on his side and you on yours and that would be enough for him to fall asleep with. Instead, he tightens his arms and buries his face into the crook of your neck. You lay there in silence for a couple minutes, both thinking.
âYouâre mad.â He mumbles into your shoulder after a while. You know he feels badly about the dispute, you knew it while it was still happening. As hard as he tries, heâs not very good at hiding his emotions. Not with you, anyways.
You shrug slightly. âBarely. Iâll get over it. This is more important.â
He picks his head up to look at you, âI love you. You know that?â
You wiggle out of his grip a bit, making him frown. You use the new space to flip over to face him, before placing his arm back around your waist. You peek up at him, looking him in the eyes, âI do. You know I love you. Even when we fight.â
He looks at you like heâs a bit thrown off by your words. âIâm sorry. It was justâŚit was a rough nightâŚIâIâm sorry.â He tells you dolefully. Â
You shake your head, frowning. âDonât be. I shouldâve texted you.â
âItâyeah. Please. I just worry about you.â He looks so sad and it makes you feel somehow worse.
âI know,â you whisper, âIâm sorry.â Â
âDonât be.â He kisses your forehead, not moving away after.
You feel like you can finally relax and your tense body doesnât take long to slacken in his hold. Soon after, he does the same, both of you closing your eyes. You feel your heart slow and your mind starts to find a space of peace.   Â
Jason didnât get it at first.
Honestly, he didnât really realize that you noticed things about him that even he didnât see.
Your neighbor was having their place remodeled and you knew there would be construction going on near your apartment all day.
Jason didnât really care, planning to bury his head under the pillow and trying to sleep through it. You however, seemed very adamant about getting out of the apartment that day. Youâd left hours before the construction crew had even gotten there, telling him it was a nice day out.
It was an alright day, but he let you have your way.
You held his hand as you walked down the street, looking into shop windows and commenting on things you think heâd like.
You led him into a book store excitedly, telling him about how the author heâd been binging had just published something new. He didnât even know that.
You were browsing the sections, flipping through books as you went. You peered across the shop at a kid holding an absolutely massive pile of books, who was clearly struggling to keep them in his arms.
His mother tried to help him but he shook his head and strided away independently, albeit very slowly. The weight of the books though, did get the best of him, and you could tell by the quivering in his arms that he was going to drop them.
âLoud noise.â You said quickly, seemingly out of the blue. Jason turned to you, confused, before seeing the stack the books splat flat onto the ground. It was indeed a loud noise.
He tilts his head at you, though youâre still busy watching the little boy as he throws his head back in frustration.
âWhat was that?â
You look at him, âHe dropped his books.â
âYeah, I saw. But whyââ
His question gets cut off by the kid bursting into tears, wailing. You turn back to look at him, your gaze getting caught by the new book youâd been telling him about. âOoh!â
You grab his hand and pull him over with you, smiling widely when you have the book in your hands. The sight of you makes him feel so warm so fast that he forgets about the odd interaction all together.
A couple hours later, you sit outside a cafe and eat lunch together, his back to the road, you sitting diagnal to him.
Heâs telling you about the shit Damian got in trouble for at school last week, holding your hand with his right hand and eating with his left.
âHe thinks heâs not going to get expelled for pulling shit like that every other week, itâs ridiculous.â He says, tossing his napkin down on the table.
Your smile is wavers as your eyes move past his shoulder looking down the block before widening, âCarââ
The sudden noise startles him enough to make him visibly jump, hand flying to where his holster would be. He looks over at the fender bender, shoulders relaxing.
He turns back to you to find your eyes looking far more worried than they should. You seem to be scanning his face, looking for something and heâs about to ask you whatâs wrong when it sinks in.
He does get scared by unexpected loud sounds, doesnât he? He never really thinks of it until it happens, but his mind is trained to expect gunshots or crowbars making impact.
It doesnât happen often, but it noticeably takes a little piece out of him when it does.
âYouâŚâ he tries, but falters. Heâs not even sure heâs processing this right.
Heâs never seriously tried to fathom that you love him half as much as he loves you, though love doesnât feel like a strong enough word. He lives and breathes for you, youâve become a lifeline heâd been stranded without for most of his life. But now you're here and youâre everything, youâre in his head all the time, in every emotion he feels.
He thinks heâs here for you, that he was brought back from the dead because of you. You canât possibly understand how much his heart is full of you, he doesnât understand it himself.
He knows you love him, heâs gotten that through his head. But he canât get a grasp on the idea that heâs equally matched in the who loves who the most battle.
Do you really care that much about him to go out of your way to keep track of things that might startle him? He knows thereâs a million things about you that are in the back of his mind at any given time, but surely you donât operate that same way with him?
Do you?
Thereâs this burning in his heart that aches and it only gets stronger when he sees you looking at him like that. So genuine. With care, with love.
He squeezes your hand, âI love you. More than anything.â
The look on your face sinks back into that sweet, adorable look that heâs so used to and it makes him want to scream.
You smile that bright smile and it sends his heart rocketing into oblivion. âI love you.â You squeeze his hand back, âMore than everything.â
He feels like his heart might burst through his chest.
#jason todd loves his gf#jason todd x reader#jason todd imagine#jason todd x you#red hood imagine#red hood x reader#red hood x you#jason todd/reader#jason todd fanfic#jason todd fanfiction#red hood fanfic#red hood fanfiction#dc x reader#dc imagine#dc fanfic#dc fanfiction
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ALWAYS ft. Hanni
hanni x male reader smut
9k words
This used to be your least favourite part of the day.
Waking up alone, to nothing but an alarm thatâs far too loud, a bed thatâs way too firm, a dorm room that mocks your financial instability with its harsh coldness.Â
And that somehow, was the best-case scenario.
Beating getting kicked out of a library after passing out face first in a textbook, or booted off your best friendâs mouldy couch when his girlfriend wanted some alone time.
Or even, in your worst moment, getting yelled at by some stranger when youâre discovered on their bathroom floor in a pool of what you prayed to God was your own vomit.
All things of the past, since her.
Since Hanniâwaking up was everything.
-
It starts, like it always does, in a tangle of limbs.
Most mornings, with Hanniâs face buried in your chest, cradled in your embrace, small puffs of breath tickling your neck. Others, with her back to you; pulling your arms around her, using the heat of your body like her coziest blanket.
One time on top of you; an exhausted smile plastered on her face, still basking in the afterglow of the night before.
She wrapped herself around you, refused to let go. Like there was a possibility that if she held you tight enough, she could bring you into her dreams.
That was the first day you truly saw her.
You talked about your pasts, your futures, shared your deepest vulnerabilities, made a million quiet confessions.
And when Hanni whispered: âI never want to go back.â
You pulled her closer, kissed her, and answered: âYouâll never have to.â
Since then, every morning always started with you holding her. Feeling her softness, her warmth, the calm rise and fall of her chest, as her exhales became your inhales and your breaths mixed together and synchronised.
This is how it had to beâhow you both needed it to be.
Soânow:
Nights and mornings since that promise; the sound of a guitar slipping into your ears.
Itâs a recording she made for you, setting it as your alarm to make waking up a little more pleasant, to make sure the first thing you thought of when you opened your eyes was her.
Unnecessary, ultimately, seeing as the first thing you see when you wake up is her. Or, to be precise, her arm poking out from under the blankets, flailing about blindly.
âOff,â Hanni mumbles, fumbling around the bed, the nightstand, your face, seeking the offending device.
You stretch over her, a blanket on top of her blanket, and hunt down the invisible enemy that dared to interrupt your girlfriendâs peaceful slumber.
A muffled âthanksâ, and she takes the opportunity to snuggle even closer.
Thereâs the smile quirking at the corner of her lips. Her nose, nuzzling closer into your chest, searching for your heartbeat. That pleased hum sheâs making, letting you know thereâs no place sheâd rather be, like sheâs completely content to stay all cozied up and warm for as long as youâll let her (forever, if possible, please).
Itâs hardly a tough sellâface the cold shower, the crowded buses and trains, the boring lectures that the rest of the day holds.
Or, stay wrapped up in the sanctuary of your (Hanniâs) bed. In fitted silk sheets, weighted duvets, plush pillows. Wrapped up in Hanni; in her very soft, very warm, very naked body.
Itâs a no-brainer, really.
The rest of you, the more honest part of you thatâs resting somewhere between her belly button and her thighs, seems to agree. Itâs got a mind of its own, stirring to life, responding to the heat of her skin and the gentle pressure of her body; the familiar lines of her curves and the lavender scent of her hair.
She notices, of course.
Itâs hard not to feel it, nudging against her, steadily growing with each passing beat, saying, âHey, remember me?â
A kiss over your heart, a giggle into your sternum, and sheâs upâsort of. She rolls onto her side, still in your embrace, but enough so that you can see the wry smile gracing her face, her sleepy eyes fluttering open to meet yours.
Chalk it up to whatever you wantârelationship goggles, the honeymoon phase, or just the sheer joy of finding someone who actually cares about youâbut when Hanni's looking like this, it's hard to believe youâre not dreaming.
The morning light kissing her rosy cheeks. The gentle pink of her full lips. Midnight silk hair curtaining her face. Her eyes.
A sweet, completely innocent question: âHaving a good morning?â
She shifts, slightly.
An oh-so-incidental move that has the blanket sliding off her shoulder, down to her waist. Itâs an invitation that you take, a proper wake-up call, from her collarbone to the curve of her hip. Softness and warmth, a stark contrast to the cold that whispers from the edges of the bed.
Hanniâyour Hanniâleaving you with the implication: âCan I make it better?â
âClasses,â is all you say, because you have to at least acknowledge the responsibility, play the farce that you would actually abandon your (againâvery warm, very naked) girlfriend for the sake of academia.
âItâs cold outside,â is her astute observation.
âMhm.â
âItâs warm in here.â
âRight,â you nod.
âSo,â she starts, bringing her hand up to your cheek, walking you through the incredibly simple, blatantly obvious logic. âDo you need any other reason?â
âAre you offering me one?â
Lips purse then pouts in that endearingly cute, Hanni way. âDoes it help that Iâm naked?â
âOne would think that more clothes would be appropriate, considering the weather,â you posit, like you weren't already convinced long before she even opened her mouth. But, itâs still fun to pretend that her persistence doesnât melt you every time.Â
âOne would be wrong.â Hanni edges closer, her bare skin gliding over yours, so you can properly assess the merits of her argument. The tip of her nose brushing against your own, the softness of her breasts passing along your chest, and her hand at your cheek, then your neck, your stomach, and moving lower, and lower. âBody heat, you know?â
Her hand gets lower still. You swallow. âYeah.â
âLike when itâs freezing and people get lost in a snowstorm.â She finds you, reaches into the waistband of your sweatpants, wraps her fingers around you, wakes you up.
âOr when girlfriends are trying to convince their boyfriends to stay in bed all day long,â you groan out. âAgain.â
âExactly,â Hanni says, a breezy air of finality, proud of herself for making you see reasonâor rather, feel it.
You kiss her forehead, conceding the victory to her, and she scrunches her nose; preens. Itâs a subtle movement, the kind that youâve come to recognise as her victory dance. She squeezes your body closer to hers, her cheek squishing into your chest, her other hand wrapping around your neck, her legs curling up around your calves. Itâs like sheâs absorbing your affection, turning it into warmth sheâll keep with her for the rest of the day.
Her hand winds up and down, these long, lazy motions. Smooth and tender, stroking the length of you, her thumb tracing the vein that pulses along the side. Sheâs not in a hurry; not anymore anyway. Just, enjoying the moment, enjoying being with you, enjoying how obvious you are with your sighs and shivers.
ââsides,â Hanni adds, taking a break to kiss around your jawline, your neck, your shoulder. âYou deserve it. A perfect day of nothing.â She sounds so hopeful, so earnest, and thereâs a warmth spreading through you that has nothing to do with the friction of her hand on your skin. âWe can order junk food, watch awful horror movies, andâŚâ
âJust us.â A finger under her chin to tilt her head up, to capture those half-moon eyes with yours, to kiss her sweetly, deeply, remind her that sheâs all you need to make a perfect day. âI wonder what Iâve done to earn this.â
âNot what youâve done,â Hanni says in the breaths between your kisses. âWhat youâre going to do.âÂ
With that, she uses all her weight to push you, rolling you onto your back, climbing over you with a grace that leaves you breathless.
She straddles you, legs draped over your hips, small breasts bouncing just a little with the motion. Thereâs mischief lighting up her eyes, that playful glint that precedes all good things. The blankets fall completely off her with a dramatic flourish, leaving her bare and exposed for your eyes to drink in.
A pause to appreciate herâto really look at her. From her flushed cheeks to the tips of her toes. Every curve, every darkened freckle, every soft, sweet inch of herâyours to adore, to touch, to explore.
And then, she winks.
You canât help but laugh.
Hanni joins you, giggling in uncontrollable fits.
Itâs the ridiculousness of it all, of Hanniâthe girl who blushes when you hold her hand in publicâstraddling you with a wink and a promise of a day of pure carnal indulgence.
You both laugh until your cheeks hurt, until the tension breaks and youâre just two people in the cozy bubble of her bed, sharing a stupid, silly moment.
It takes a beat, but you both somehow recover, gasping for air between giggles. She settles herself, placing her hands on either side of your face, looking down at you with all the adoration in the world. Her touch grounds you, brings you back to the present.
âYouâre serious, arenât you?â You ask, when youâre finally able to speak. âThis is what you really want to do all day?â
âWellâŚâ Hanni muses, sinking down to your waist, running her fingers over your t-shirt, stopping when she has the hem in her clutches. âA bit of this.â
She starts rolling your shirt up, sliding the cotton over your stomach. The cold air of the room kisses your skin before the warmth of her mouth replaces it. Her soft, plump lips meet your body, the small indent of your belly button.
Simple, innocent, playful. Hanni.
âA bit of that,â she continues, her hands keep moving, lifting the shirt higher, tugging it up and up, exposing your chest to her eyes, her lips.
She finds her target, a tongue over your nipple, paying you back for what youâre no doubt going to be doing to her later; flicking over your chest to make you hiss.
âA bit of me,â she adds, words vibrating against your chest, leaving goosebumps as she rises higher.
You lift your arms, allowing her to pull your shirt off your body, trapping you for a moment so she can suck at your neck, mark you as hers, and hers only. As if you didnât already wear it on your face whenever sheâs around.
âDoing a lot of you.â
Her eyes rake over youâyour chest, your stomach, your abs. Lingering a touch too long, making her cheeks warm; colouring them with a soft blush that spreads from her neck up to her ears, hinting at the thoughts racing through her mind.
And then you're kissing her.
Itâs gentle (your kisses always are) but that doesnât make it any less passionate, any less intense.
She kisses you back, lips sliding over yours, the softness of her tongue tracing the line of your teeth, moaning your name in short stutters into your mouth.
It feels so right, so natural. The way she fits against you, feels on top of you, the perfect puzzle piece youâve been desperate to find in a world full of mismatches.
Itâs far too early to say it, but you know itâhave known it.
You love her. Love how she lives in the moment; how even when youâre worried about the future, about deadlines and tomorrows, she can bring you back to the present and make things simple. In the least selfish way possible, she makes it about her.
(And thatâs all you need).
It builds and builds; these slow, dragging kisses, these admissions of things that youâre not quite ready to say. Until youâre both well and truly needy for a touch more heat, as much of each other as you can possibly get.
You canât hold it anymore, so you donât bother trying.
With a firm grasp, you take Hanniâs hips in your hands, your thumbs pressing into vanilla skin as you pull her upward. Itâs strategic, pull the best parts of her (which could be any part, really) closer, prove her earlier guess right by introducing her breast to your lips, her nipple to your tongue.
A million times youâve repeated it and it wonât be enoughâsheâs so soft. Melting at your touch already, so responsive, letting you know sheâs feeling it with every hushed gasp and shiver of her tight body.
One hand is filled by her other breast, a supple handful, spilling between your fingers, carelessly massaging as your mouth latches onto its twin. Her heart races, hammers against your palm, quickening with every passing flick, with each chaste suck between your lips.
Your other hand snakes lower, caressing the smooth plane of her stomach. You drag your fingertips over the ridges and valleys of her abs, down towards the juncture of her thighs.
She squirms.
Moans a little louder.
Scrapes the back of your scalp and pulls you in.
Youâre insistent, your touch feather light as it grazes over the whispers of hair; trailing all the way down, down, where you ghost over her mound, tease her clit to make her gasp.
âLike that,â Hanni moans her approval, answers you with hips rocking against your hand. âSo, so⌠nice.â
Your hand dips down further, parting her folds, sliding through her slick, greeted with the warmth and wetness of her opening. Soaking your hand, inviting you to delve deeper.
âHanni,â you mouth around her nipple, âyouâre so wet.â
âO-of course,â she manages, shuddering as you dare to ease a finger inside, pushing into her and pushing out a cry that fills the room. âItâs you.â
âIt definitely is,â you confirm, stroking her walls with slow, deliberate care, feeling her tense around you with each movement. âAnd Iâm just getting started.â
Her body arches, curves into you, tilting her head back and feeding you more of her; her breast into your mouth, her pussy on your fingers. You look up at her, feel her, memorise every little noise she makes, every twitch of her body as you touch her. Her breath skips as you start to move your finger in and out, a quiet pace to make her hips dance.
âThis is a good idea.â Youâre pushing in deeper, adding a second digit to the mix, stretching her just so. Sheâs tight around you, always so tight, enveloping you in her heat, and thereâs the urge to go even slower, to savour every moment. âStaying in all day. Making you feel good.â
Her legs tense, toned thighs flex as you curl your fingers up, pulling towards you just right to hit that spot that makes her mouth hang open, that makes her whine. Thereâs a plea in there, a silent request for more, for everything.
And you give it to her, because itâs what she deserves, because itâs what sheâs asking for, because sheâs yours.
Sheâs getting tighter around you, walls squeezing in. A prelude to something beautiful, something only you know how to give her, a skill youâve picked up in this very same bed.
âGod,â Hanniâs breaths are turning into short gasps, sheâs so needy for it, for you. A slight tug of your hair, pulling you off her breast, forcing her nipple to âpopâ from your lips. She sinks down, further down onto your hand, her breasts dragging against your chest, her skin sticking to yours. âYouâre such a tease.â
Her lips hang in front of yours, pillowy cushions begging for its partnerâneeding you to kiss her, now. You claim her mouth, let her be as loud as she wants on your lips; these delightful sounds when your hand moves faster, more insistent.
Arms hold you, wrap around your back, hugging you tighter, needing you to be as close as humanly possible. Hands everywhereâmassaging your back, gripping in your shoulders, tangled in your hair, grabbing at your bicepsâno matter how much of you she has, itâs just not enough.
Pliant is the other word to describe Hanni; so easy in your hands, like clay waiting for your touch. Waiting for you to mould her into whatever you want, even though you prefer her as she just isâall her perfect imperfections, beautifully flawed, wonderfully Hanni.
Another finger pushes into her; three now, moving in a steady rhythm, that slow, cautious manoeuvre thatâs become so familiar. Sure, you could do it with your eyes closed, bring her to the brink and back with touch alone, but youâd miss the way she looks at youâthe tears at the corners of her eyes, the tremble in her lips; like youâre her saviour, her everything.
âHanni, youâre soââ you canât put it into exact wordsâgorgeous, pretty, lovelyâyou test them out, but they all fall short, leaving you hanging untilâ
âYours,â Hanni finishes, and thatâs all you need, all you need to hear to make a vow to do everything in your power to keep her happy, to keep her here, to keep herââalways yours.â
Sheâs rocking on your fingers now, taking charge of her own pleasure, setting the pace that you so willingly match. Itâs a give and take, and you take the chance to kiss at her neck, to nibble on the shell of her ear, to whisper to her all the things that create these little tremors in her thighs, that make her grip you tighter and tighter with each stroke.
She feels so good, so warm, so wet. Your hand is soaked, knuckles coated in her, making these noises. The muffled pop of skin on skin; the soft, sticky sound of wetness being parted; that satisfying squelch as you go in deep.
Hanniâs so close. So, so close.
Unwinding, melting in your palm; and that look. The way she smiles when sheâs on that edge, because sheâs so happy to be there, so happy that it's you that has her to be feeling this good.
But thenâitâs the suddenness that gets youâshe goes rigid, stops moving, begs, âWait, wait, wait.â
Itâs so unexpected, but you still do stop, fingers lodged inside her, pulsating with the urgency of her orgasm thatâs just a heartbeat away.
She needs to hang onto you, to hold onto something as the world starts to spin again. Her pupils are blown wide, her cheeks a rosy pink that makes her look like sheâs been running a marathon, sweat glistening over her, bathing her in this glow.
You look up at her, a soothing kiss on her cheek. âProblem?â
âNo,â Hanni manages a gasp, reassuring you with a shaky smile, still doing her best to catch her breath. âI mean yes. I mean⌠It feels too good.â
You tilt your head. You smirk. âThatâs a problem?â
âYou always do this, you know?â Hanni chooses her words carefully, trying to break out of the haze of having almost been there, so she can properly articulate. âMake it about me when itâs supposed to be about you.â
You stifle your laughter against her neck, letting it vibrate through her skin. Itâs her earnestness, really, that gets you sometimes; her concern for you, even now is too much, almost comical.
âIâm serious!â Hanni protests, though sheâs betrayed by the wobble in her voice, that part of her begging to just let you do your thing and push her past the precipice. Her eyes flutter shut as she breathes in deep, trying to compose herself. âI want to make you feel as good as you always make me feel.â
Logic that you canât argue with, not when itâs wrapped up in that sweet, sweet smile. You still attempt, though, âHanni, making you feel goodââ
âMakes me feel goodâyeah, I know how it goes,â she finishes the line for you. âBut, just. We have all day, soâ"
Thereâs a point thatâs finished by her kiss, specific in its tenderness, stealing whatever witty reply you had ready from your mouth.
âLet me start by taking care of you.â
Itâs like you saidâHanni Pham, making it all about her, in the least selfish way possible.
You relent, bowing out to her whims.
âSo, what do you want me to do?â
âNothing,â Hanni nods, satisfied with your compliance. She takes your wrists into her hands, guides them away from her body to keep them at your sides. âJust relax.â
Itâs a strange feeling, letting go, letting her be the one to dictate the pace, the rhythm of your morning. You watch her, watch the way her eyes wander over you. Sheâs fascinated, like she canât make up her mind of where to start.
But she does, eventually.
Her gaze settles on your arousal, standing proud and waiting underneath your sweatpants.
âHow about I startââ a light kiss on your lips, and sheâs slinking down to your waist, tugging at the string of your pants, âright here?â
A kiss on your stomach, just above your navel, her fingers slipping between your waistband and your skin. They pull at the fabric, dragging it down with care until itâs pooled around your thighs. Your cock springs free, and thereâs this gasp she makesâlike she hasnât seen it a hundred times before.
âYouâre so big.â Hanniâs in awe, her voice hushed, reverent almost. Itâs always been something she says, something that makes you blushâswells the ego that you like to pretend you donât have. âI still have no idea how this fits inside me.â
âIt fits perfectly, remember?â
âMm, I know, butâ" she canât find the words, so she settles for the next best thing, âdamn.â
Sheâs smilingâalways smilingâand you can feel her breath on you, light and sugary, these little pulses of anticipation tingling through your skin.
You hold your breath, waiting for her touch, waiting for her lips, waiting for her to finally take you in.
But she doesnât. Sheâs just looking.
âHanni,â you say, giving your cock a teasing flex, brushing it against her cheek. Itâs a light prod to break the spell, to remind her of the task at hand.
âOh!â
Itâs getting unbearable, your cock just inches from her mouth, straining to reach her lips. âYouâre driving me crazy.â
âGood.â She presses another kiss to your skin, a little nibble to your inner thigh that makes you jolt. Her hands skim over your legs, pushing your sweatpants down further and further, down your thighs, over your knees right until itâs stuck at your ankles, thwarting her attempted sensual seduction.
She makes this frustrated 'argh!â at the minor struggle. Very cute. Also a little ridiculous.
"Help, please?â She looks up at you, expectantly.
You acquiesce.
âAha!â Hanni cheers, slightly louder than she may have intended, having won her battle against your pants. She catches herself, blushing, flashing a cheeky smile.
God, youâre going to fall in love with her all over again.
âOh right. I mean, are you ready?â
So casual in how she says it, covering for her fumble. It makes you want to laughâexcept you canât, because before you can even open your mouth, sheâs already leaned in, pressing her plush lips against the tip of your cock.
Lightly, so light it makes your hairs stand on end. A calculated tease, right hand around your cock, stroking your length. Her left reaches up, laces her fingers with yours. A squeeze, a preview of whatâs to come.
You canât help but twitch under her.
It's her lips, mapping a trail of kisses down your shaft, leaving a warm, sticky mess of pre-cum that sheâs quick to lick away. Itâs how sheâs looking at youâso focused, like sheâs been learning, been studying you, creating a personal database of everything that makes you tick.
But above all else itâs just the simple fact that sheâs doing this for you, because she cares about you. Because she wants to make you feel good.
Itâs all of it and itâs working.
âThis is much nicer, isnât it?â She asks, not really expecting an answer, because she knows itâll be a resounding yes.
Sheâs playing with you, not giving you exactly what you want, but just enough. Her hand wrapped around the base of your cock, stroking you from root to tip, thumb circling your head with enough pressure to drive you insane.
Itâs pain and pleasure wrapped up into one perfect package, and youâre not sure which one you prefer.
You let her know as such: âActually quite torturous, to be honest.â
âBut itâs the good kind of torture, right?â
âThereâs a good kind?â
âWeâve got all day to find out,â Hanni teases, taking a fistful of her own hair in her hand, looping it into a tight, messy bun; preparing herselfâgiving you a final chance to do the same.
Hanni takes you into her mouth.
Itâs not a sudden plunge, not a surprise attack bringing you straight to the back of her throatâitâs a slow, slow descent that has you gritting your teeth and biting back a groan.
Itâs hot. Wet. Heavenly. You can feel every inch of your cock being coated in her saliva, her tongue dancing around your shaft, her cheeks hollowing out, her lips creating the most exquisite suction.
When she reaches as far as she can go, fills her mouth with as much of you as she can take, she starts to move back up. Slowly, so you can feel every little bump of her tongue, every little drag of her teeth.
Her hand joins in, moving in tandem with her mouth, stroking the parts of you she canât reach. Sheâs trying to find the perfect balance, trying to find that sweet spot between too much and not enough.
Hanniâs no pro at this, her technique is in no way perfectâbut sheâs so willing, so keen to please. She takes her time, getting used to the feel of you in her mouth, her eyes peeking up at you every so often to gauge your reaction; studying your face for any sign that sheâs doing it right, that sheâs doing it well.
Itâs adorable, really.
And oh, so hot.
You give it to her again, reassure her, âSo good, baby,â because it isâyour hips buck involuntarily, pushing deeper into her mouth.
It takes her off guard, but she does her best to adapt; sheâs trying not to gag, trying to take it all in. Sheâs a fast learner, your Hanni.
Your compliment serves its purposeâsheâs getting more confident now, her tongue gliding along the underside of your cock, tentative, exploratory. Itâs clumsy, yes, but itâs cute, and most importantlyâit feels good.
Sheâs concentrating, her attention entirely on your cock; her lips sealed tight. Each time her head bobs down, she takes you in deeper, millimetres, but still, deeper and deeper.
And itâs the sound of her sucking you in, getting sloppier, filling the room with those noises, the soundtrack to your morning. Sheâs getting bolder, finding her rhythm, building her pace. Itâs not precise in any way, shape or formâsometimes sheâs a little too rough, sometimes she misses the beatâbut the effort.
A harsh suck has your cock popping out of Hanniâs lips, strings of her saliva still connecting her mouth to you. She looks up at you, wanting to check in, still needing that hit of validation, âIs thisâis this good?"
You stroke her hair, let her lean into your touch. "Unbelievably. Youâre doing great.â
âBut I can make it even better, canât I?â She asks, the determination setting in her features, and sheâs staring straight into your eyes, hopeful, âTell me. Tell me how you want it.â
Itâs not a demandâitâs a question, a plea for guidance; sheâll do whatever it takes (whatever you want) to get you there. And itâs the sight of her, straddling your thighs, kneeling before you; those full lips hovering just about your cock, her hand lazily pumping away, keeping you there.
Somehow, you manage to get the words out, a rough whisper, âTake me deep, Hanni. As far as you can go. Take me all in. Show me how much you want it.â
Itâs the instruction sheâs been waiting for; sheâs nodding before youâve finished, so willing to oblige. Itâs that part of her that youâve discovered, the part she might not even know herself. But it explains so much.
(Hanni: the teacherâs pet, always needing to excel. Competitive, desperate for the highest grades in school, the top evaluations in training; desperate for you to tell her that itâs her and only her.
Thatâs what makes her successful. Thatâs what makes her eager.
And now that youâve put the challenge before her, she canât wait to prove herself.)
She takes a deep breath, swirls her tongue around the tip of your cock, dipping her toe into the water before she dives right in. Itâs like sheâs playing it out in her head, memorising the taste of you, the smell of you, the feel of you; mapping out the best way to take you all the way in right before she breaks you.
âReady?â
âAlways.â
And she goes for it.
Her mouth opens wide, eyes locked on yours, and she takes you in again.
Deeper, throat tighter.
Her eyes water a little, and she coughs, retreating. But sheâs unfazedâstill smiling, still eager.
âSorry, sorry, itâs okay.â
You stroke her cheek, act like itâs not already far more than you can handle. âTake your time, baby. No need to rush.â
A deep inhale, and she's trying again.
Itâs a process, her getting used to you, your size, your taste, the way you make her throat bulge. Sheâs slow, tentative, but with every stroke, with every gulp, sheâs getting closer. Her cheeks hollow out more, her eyes water a little less, and she moans.
You can feel the anticipation building in your chest, your balls, the sweet ache of your orgasm just around the corner. And she can feel it too, your body tensing under hers, your breaths turning shorter, sharper.
The fifth time, she hits the back of her throat, and she stopsâholds herself there, panting. Itâs a moment of victory, a declaration that sheâs got it right, that she can take all of you, just like you asked. Your cock is nestled at the back of her throat, thereâs more tears now, but sheâs smiling with her eyes, looking up at you through her lashes.
Itâs so intense. You groan. Your hips jerk. âGood, baby, so goodâdonât move.â
The look on her face, the satisfaction, the pride. Â
She swallows around you, working the muscles in her throat, pressing her tongue flat against the underside of your cock; itâs too much.
âHa-Hanniâkeep doing thatâkeep swallowingâitâs perfectâso perfectââ
Itâs a struggle, but she does it, takes it all in, holds it thereâjust for you.
Her hands are at your thighs, graspingânot enough to hurt, but enough to let you know sheâs there, that sheâs with you. She coughs, gags, sputters bits of drool down your cock, but she keeps going.
And then, she pulls herself up, needing the air, pulling back with a long gasp; leaving a mess. Your cock slides out of her mouth, springing from her lips; her cheeks a vivid shade of red, glistening with lines of tearsâbeautiful, just indescribably beautiful.
âWas I good?â Sheâs asking out of courtesy, really. Youâre sure whatever dumb look youâre wearing on your face is more than enough to confirm it.
But you nod and choke a âYesâ anyway, because youâre a gentleman, and words of affirmation are just as sweet as the act itself.
âI can do better.â
And before your mind can even catch up to what sheâs saying, sheâs sucking you back into her mouth. Now that sheâs proven herself, she just has to push it even further, show you just what sheâs capable of.
This time, sheâs more assured, more confident. Her hands are at your hips now, holding you still, like sheâs worried youâll get away.
You wonât, of course. You couldnât even if you tried.
Hanniâs bobbing her head; these long, deep sucks that have your fingers tangling in her hair, have you urging your hips to meet her mouth. Her eyes are watering more, sheâs gagging more often than not, but she doesnât stop, she just keeps moaning around you, keeps going and going.
She takes her hands off your hips, sliding one down to the base of your cock, holding it steady as she works you over and over. The other finds your balls, balancing them on her fingertips, rolling them around her palm. Sheâs figuring it out, figuring you out far too quickly, and it nearly has you coming undone.
And through it all, sheâs grinning.
Itâs a twisted, slightly pained grin, but itâs a grin nonetheless. Sheâs found her new favourite hobby, and sheâs determined to show you just how much she enjoys it.
âI love this,â Hanni slurs against your cock, not really to you, not really to herself, just saying it out loud because itâs true. âI love being able to do this to you, making you feel so good.â
Sheâs saying these things, these simple words like theyâre not dangerous at all, like whispering them against your cock is so harmless, like they donât have the power to completely destroy your resolve.
âI love that itâs me,â Hanni keeps going, even when her tongue is occupied with licking you, lapping up your balls, the underside of your shaft. âI love that Iâm the one who makes you feel this way.â
Gone is the shynessâsheâs so smug now, so proud of herself, so in love with the fact that she has you exactly where she wants you: in her mouth, at her mercy.
Itâs in the way sheâs sucking you, her eyes closing, her hums of pleasure every time she takes you inâas deep as she can. Sheâs getting hotter on top of you, just from having you in her mouth, from taking you into her lips again and again.
Grinding herself into the mattress, needing a bit of friction, needing more. And thatâs when she pulls away, panting for breath.
âHanni?â You ask, finding your voice, letting go of a breath you hadnât realised you were holding.
âItâs too much,â she admits, breathless, her hand still wrapped around your cock, stroking you gently, almost apologetically. âIâm sorry, itâs justâitâs too much.â
Thereâs a shift in the airâin Hanni. Usually, typically, soft. Now wild, desperate.
Sheâs climbing up you, back on your hips, her wetness smearing onto your skin, her thighs trembling on either side of yours.
"I need it, I canât wait anymore. I just canât.â
The suddenness, the urgency in her voice (in her body). Hanni, flushed, practically shaking with need.
âI need youânow.â
Itâs so temptingâyou could give in easily. And yet, thereâs something in how sheâs asking you, how sheâs using innuendo in place of propriety, dancing around saying what she really wants in plain, explicit terms.
Itâs not enough.
Sheâs already got you on the edge, so close you can almost taste it. But you need to hear it from her. Your sweet, adorable girlfriend, saying something so dirty itâll make your knees buckle.
So, you sit up, shifting slightly so sheâs still straddling you, face to face. Cradling her cheek with one hand, brushing a strand of hair out of her eyes; so you can look at herâtake in all the tiny beautiful inflections that make her your Hanni.
âWhat do you need?â
Always with the blushes, but she holds your gaze, not breaking it even when you run your hand back down south, reaching to slip a finger through her folds, finding her still so wet and swollen. She gasps, but she doesnât look away.
âTell me, Hanni,â you coax, your finger moving in gentle circles, watching her face, watching the way her pupils dilate, the way her breath catches.
Hanni stutters, âYouâI want youâneed youâ". But you just chuckle, slow down the pace of your finger, giving her a taste of the frustration sheâs unintentionally been dishing out.
âNot quite specific enough. What part of me do you want?â
Sheâs biting her lip, squirming under your touchâsheâs not used to this. Not used to anything outside of the usual playfulness, the sweetness; the gentle strokes and soft whispers. But something has you feeling different today.
Maybe itâs the excitement of trying something new. Maybe itâs how unusually forward sheâs being. Or maybe, just maybe, part of you has always wanted to hear her beg.
She blurts it out: âYourâyour cock!â
âAnd what do you want me to do with it?â You press, stroking her clit now; her chest heaving, these tiny whines escaping her, and the way sheâs looking at you. Like sheâs getting ready to pounce.
âPleaseâjustâplease, I needââ
âNeed me to slide it in slow?â You suggest, kissing her neck, her perfect, porcelain skin. âGive it to you nice and deep?â
Hanniâs rolling her hips on you, grinding herself against your hand, trying to get through to your cock, trying to will it to enter her.
âGo ahead, be honest.â
Sheâs bothered. Annoyedâalmost angry, if thatâs even possible for her. Like how could you? How could her kind, loving boyfriend go out of his way to put her in such agony.
âTell me, baby. What does Hanni want?â
âIâI need your cock inside meâI want you toââ Hanni swallows takes a deep breath.
A final push: âSay it.â
âFuck me, hold me and fuck me. Deep, hard, slowâhowever you want just fuck me now.â
The words come out in a rush, spilling out of her lips. Even sheâs surprised as sheâs saying them, in disbelief that sheâs even capable of saying something so filthy out loud.
But sheâs not taking it back, sheâs not apologising.
No, sheâs taking hold of your hand, moving it out from between her legs, and replacing it with your cock, daring you to stop her.
Like you could ever.
You push in, inch by delicious inch, watching her face contort, features twist, feeling her stretch around you.
Itâs the same every timeâit feels like the first time all over again.
Her eyes squeeze shut, mouth parted in a wordless plea, and youâre moving so slow. So slow that sheâs whimpering, begging, hips trying to push you deeper. But you keep it steady, setting the tempo, let her get used to the feeling of being made whole by you again.
âOh, oh, ohââ Hanni pants, trying to keep her voice down, but itâs pointless. Sheâs failing already, loosening a strained 'fuck' when you bottom out, when your cock is finally, completely inside her.
You hold her like that; your arms around her, hugging her tight, her breasts squished against your chest. Sheâs so small in your arms, so soft, so warm; her pulse racing against your own, lapping it twice over.
âYou okay?â You ask, placing a kiss on her shoulder.
âMore than okay,â she sighs, holding onto you, moulding her body onto yours. âMore than okayâjust need a minute to adjust. Donât worry about meâyou canâyou can make me feel good.â
So, you do.
Lifting her body off you, unsheathing your cock from her warm embrace, until only the tip is trapped in her wetness. Then: guiding her back down, a touch quicker, harder, deeper. And thereâs that gasp as she takes you back in, as you fill her.
Youâre moving with purpose now, her walls tight and wet and hot around you, clenching and releasing in time with your slow, deliberate thrusts.
Hanniâs breasts bounce in front of you, up and down with every pump, small peaks begging for attention. Youâre kissing them again, sucking one into your mouth, suckling on the pink tips.
âSo beautiful,â youâre repeating it, speaking it into her skin, because itâs all thatâs on your mind as she takes you in. âYouâre so beautiful, baby.â
And she looks it too, even though sheâs not even trying; with her hair falling out of her bun, sticking to her face with sweat and saliva, her mouth hanging open, swollen and red from your kisses, her body writhing and jerking with every thrust.
Yet she remains focused, eyes glued to yours, like sheâs afraid if she looks away sheâll miss something. Like if she doesnât keep watching, sheâll wake up and find out itâs all been a dream.
But itâs not.
Itâs you and her, in this bed, the sun peeking through the curtains, her naked body riding yours, hotter and hotter with each pass.
Itâs you and her, together, wrapped up in each other making love like the world outside doesnât exist.
Itâs you and her, and itâsâ
âSo perfectâyou feel so perfect,â Hanni finishes your thought for you, finishes each of your thrusts with her own hips; opening her body up to you, welcoming you in deeper with each stroke. âI think Iâm gonna cry it feels so good.â
Her legs lock around your back, heels digging into your spine, until youâre fully seated inside her; so deep it feels like youâre a part of her. With a whine thatâs half pleasure, half need, Hanni braces herself on you, rolling her hips on your cock, grinding down, taking as much of you as she can.
You grip her tight, one hand around her back, the other under her ass, fingers squeezing into the soft, tender flesh. Bouncing her up and down, watching her face as she takes you, as she keeps repeating âso perfectâ.
And you know, you know sheâs not just talking about the physicalâthatâs definitely there. Itâs how youâre making her feel, itâs the connection. The way youâre looking at her, the way youâre holding her, the way youâre loving her that has her floating.
âI-I think Iâm ready,â Hanni whimpers, âI can take itâyou donât need toâdonât hold back anymore.â
With a grunt, a nod, and a choked âHanniâ, youâre sweeping her up, keeping your cock buried deep inside her as you lift her. Your hand cushions the back of her head as you lay her down on the bed beneath you, her legs spreading wide on their own to accept you.
A moment to steady herself, to prepare.
A smile. A kiss on her forehead.
And then youâre in, all the way, again. Completing her pussy with your cock; one swift motion that knocks the wind out of her in the sound of your name.
âGodâHanniââ
It shouldnât be like thisâit should be impossible to be this much hotter, this much wetter, this tight.
But she is.
Sheâs squeezing herself around you, muscles, thighs flexing. Eyes shut, mouth wide open because thereâs no way to stop from crying out; and her body, her lovely, perfect body, arching up to meet your every thrust.
You give it to her.
Youâre building up speed, stretching her wide, hips moving in that perfect rhythm youâve discovered togetherâthe one that makes your name echo off the bedroom walls.
Hanniâs whimpering, mewling, whining, âTell meâtell me how good it feels.â
You tell her everythingâhow tight, how wet, how perfect she is. You praise her, shower her with very compliment that comes to mind. She eats them up; her lips leaving marks on your neck, your shoulder, her fingers on your back, her hips swallowing you whole.
But Hanni still needs more, needs to hear more. Not just that sheâs good, not even that sheâs perfect. She needs to hear that sheâs only yours.
âLike heaven, Hanni,â you manage, your voice hoarse, strained. âSo perfect for me. Only me.â
âReally?â Hopeful. Ecstatic. So turned on.
âAlways,â you repeat, the truth echoing in your voice and across her skin. âAlways so perfect.â
âMmm,â Hanni moans, nodding along, soaking in every word that flows freely from your lips.
âYouâre so beautiful, Hanni. Your pussy is so perfect.â You kiss her again, a little harder this time, a little more possessive. âI love how you fit around me.â
Her breath catches in her throat, thereâs that spark in her eyes, and sheâs taking you deeper, urging you on. âOh-oh. Keep talkingâpleaseâkeep talking.â
âMade for me, arenât you Hanni?â You continue, the steady stream of praise and admiration, caressing her as surely as your cock in her pussy. You canât get enough, canât get over how perfect she feels, how right it is to be inside her. âLike a perfect glove around me.â
Her eyes meet yours, her smile shy as she whispers your name. Whispers it like itâs a prayer, like itâs the only word she knows (like itâs the only thing that can give her peace).
Sheâs so close, getting there, itâs in how sheâs pulling you closer; with her arms and her pussy. How sheâs saying please, with a little quiver in her voice, alternating it with your name when you hit that spot just right.
âThis feels so good, but-but-I thinkââ Hanniâs voice cracks, even now, still so shy, so adorable. Sheâs gasping, out of breath, trying her best to string the words together. âC-can I? Can I please cum?â
Itâs all you need to hear. You kiss her, hard and deep, push into her. âOf course, baby,â you say, âDo it. Do it for me. I want you to cum for me.â
The effect it has on herâhow it ripples across her face. Sheâs so thankful. So, so thankful for your permission, for what youâre doing to her. âThen pleaseâplease donât stop.â
Harder, faster, deeper nowâmaking her unravel beneath you. Hands holding her in place, feeling her, feeling her tense, quake around you.
Keep going, because sheâs almost there, because sheâs repeating it, that desperate âpleaseâ, over and over again.
âPlease-please-pleaseââwith every thrust, saying it without saying it, with every clench of her walls, with every little gasp she lets slip.
Because thatâs what she isâwho she isâat her most honest, her most vulnerable. Pleases and thank yous on her lips, a constant stream of gratitude for you, for being here with her, for making her feel so much.
âThank you,â Hanni manages, words almost a moan. âThank you for making me feel like this, for making me feel soââ
But she canât finish the sentence, canât find the words to explain the storm thatâs building inside her. So she just says it again, rising in pitch each time as the pressure builds. âThank you, thank you, thank youââ
Her nails dig into your shoulders, the first time sheâs ever inflicted anything close to pain on you; begging you to stay in place, to not move, to not pull out. You feel her need, feel it in your bones, feel it from the heat of her pussy.
âFeels soââ Hanniâs crying, sobbing now, trembling uncontrollably. Youâre holding onto her, deep inside her, giving all the time she needs to let it out. ââso good, so deep, so, so muchââ
She gasps. She tightens. She screams.
Hanniâs voice breaks off into a keening wail as it all comes crashing over her; and you donât stop, canât stop, canât do anything but keep her tethered to you as she loses herself to her climax.
âPleaseâdonât pull outâpleaseâdonât stopâpleaseâpleaseâpleaseââ
She shudders, clenches around you, pussy tightening in the sweetest way possible. Itâs that look on her face, saying everything she canât manage to say, everything she canât put into wordsâhow much she loves you, how much you complete her, how much she needs this.
Itâs a wave, pulling you under, and you let it take you, let it sweep you away until youâre drowning in the feeling of her coming apart around you, under the heat of her eyes and the grip of her body.
Her juices all over your cock, her pussy spasming around you, that blissful agony on her face. Hanniâs so sweet when she cums, so damn gorgeous, it just takes your breath away. Sheâs perfect, so perfect it hurts.
And as she comes down, as she rides out her orgasm and kisses your name into your lips, she begs of you, once last time: âYour turn.â
With strength you didnât know she still had, her legs pull you in, anchoring you to her. Her walls pulse, her body begs for you to follow.
And you do.
âGive it to me, please, cum for me, loveââ
You let go. Let the tension in your body melt away as you thrust into her one, two, three more times. Until youâre releasing, until youâre cumming, until everythingâs white-hot pleasure and Hanni on your tongue.
Load after load inside her, a hot, deep stream that leaves you groaning, that leaves her sighing, panting, joyful. Filling her up until sheâs complete, until sheâs overflowing.
You cum hard and fast, and Hanni tries her best to keep up, tries to take it all, and sheâs smilingâlaughing even, the joy of making you feel this good lighting up her features.
âH-Hanniââ you try, your cock twitching inside her, your cum spilling out of her and onto the bed, onto your thighs.
Sheâs kissing you, kissing your neck, letting you make your mess; your glorious mess of cum and sweat and saliva and her.
It feels so good, everything feels so good about her, everything sheâs doing. Sheâs holding you so tight, so greedily, shivering with every throb of your cock inside her, savouring every moment of your release.
Thereâs a moment of silence, where you just lay there, bodies entangled, hearts racing, breaths mingling. Just looking at each other, basking in the thickness of sex and satisfaction.
And Hanni smiles, so wide it could split her face in two, a smile that says sheâs never been happier.
Then, with a sigh, she relaxes, her legs loosening, ankles unlocking behind you. You roll onto your side, pulling her with you, keeping her close. Sheâs still with you, still keeping your cock inside her, and you canât help but feel like this is it.
This is home.
âBest. Morning. Ever.â
She laughs. âI donât want to get up. Donât ever want to leave this bed.â
âI donât think I can get up,â you admit somewhere into her hair.
And then it hits you. Something in the air, something in the light hitting her naked body, something in that blissful expression on her face.
It spills out of you before you can stop it: âI think Iâm in love with you.â
Her eyes widen a fraction, and she pulls back just enough to look at you, to read your face. âCareful, weâve got all day for that kind of talk.â
But she doesnât protest as you hold her tighter, feel the warmth of her body, the smell of the skin, the way she nests into your side. Fitting perfectlyâlike sheâs always been there.
So yeah, you may have said it too early, but whatever.
Todayâs the day for breaking normal rules and codes of conduct.
For breaking routines. For her.
For the promise of a long day filled with nothing but lazy kisses, whispered secrets, the sweet taste of her skin.
For staying in bed, wrapped in each otherâs arms, forgetting the outside world.
For more of this. Of Hanni. Of this perfect, perfect feeling.
So, you stay there. Not moving, not speaking. Just holding onto the moment, as the sun rises higher and higher in the sky.
And as your eyes start to drift close, as you sink into the comfort of the mattress, with her in your arms and on your mind, and youâre thinking this day couldnât get any better, Hanni whispers:
âIdiot. Iâve always been in love with you.â
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Beautiful Liar
pairing;Â kim mingyu x f!reader
genre; smut (minor dni), toxic, angst, dark content, fluff
summary;Â Kim Mingyu's life has always been complicated, but you just add another layer. At least he is a beautiful liar.
dark content/content warnings; mafia au, murder, guns (used/sold/bought), cops, gun dealer!mingyu, mafia boss!jun (shut up), second in command/drug dealer!minghao, lawyer!wonwoo, blood, fighting/beating, drugs mentioned, smoking (cigarettes), alcohol, alludes to alcoholism, depression/anxiety, toxic relationships, commitment issues -- best friends sister to lover, bosses sister to lover, jun's sister!reader, soonyoung, dino (chan), vernon as side characters, names eunseok and haneul used (have no connection to riize and kiof), crying, food and drink as always, mentions being sick, doctor!reader, medical terminology and medical procedure/wound described -- as always i'm certain i have missed something. if there is anything glaring send me an ask.
smut warnings; dom!mingyu, mean dom!mingyu, brat!reader, unprotected sex, rough sex, pulling out, creampie, cum on skin, cum play, cumming untouched, cumming in pants, fingering, oral (f receiving), handjob, edging/orgasm denial, degradation, pet names/degrading names, praise, impact play, pussy slapping, biting, crying from pleasure, dacryphilia, aftercare. as stated above, i am sure there is something i am forgetting. send an ask if it is glaring. Â
w/c; 25.6k and some change (2.8k extra words for patreon bonus)Â
beautiful liar - monsta x
a/n; thank you to my @junkissed for proofreading for me once again, i love you forever. i hope you all enjoy this one. i missed my boy so much and i wanted to expand a bit on gyu from shut up. give him a bit of life. its not the end of some of these characters, but we will see where they pop up in the future.
before continuing remember reblogs are incredibly important and please read how to support me here
âPut that box over there.â Wiping the sweat from the back of his neck, Mingyu sighs out his words gesturing with his free hand as Lee Chan and Kwon Soonyoung lift the large box full of guns from the back of the trailer and onto a table in front of him. It was hotter than usual today and Mingyu didnât want to be at the bar on his Saturday, but yet here he was, ever diligent.
âWhat did you buy me?âÂ
Taking a breath to the sound of his boss, Mingyu puts on a good face before glancing towards Wen Junhui and letting the corner of his lips pull up, at least on one side. It wasnât that he didnât like Jun, it was more that he was tired. Jun had gotten breaks over the past few months after a run in with Park Bonhwa, but Mingyu hadnât. Things hadnât gotten much better on the back end, they had just gotten quieter.Â
Pointing at the box in front of him before picking up a pry bar, Mingyu grunts as he loosens the nails and takes off the top for Jun to see.Â
âThis one is Glocks and revolvers.â Gesturing with the pry bar towards where Chan and Soonyoung were pulling the other box from the truck, Mingyu tilts his head. âShould be rifles, mostly AKs. Just like you asked for, boss.âÂ
Jun knew what he had asked Mingyu to acquire for him, he just liked to see a job well done and Mingyu rarely disappointed, especially as of late. Slapping the larger manâs shoulder, Jun reaches in with his free hand to take out one of the revolvers, a Smith & Wesson, to test the balance in his hand. âItâs good work, Gyu. These should hold us over for a few weeks.âÂ
Putting the gun back into the box, Jun reaches up to scratch at his eyebrow as he glances towards Xu Minghao, his second in command, with a sigh on his lips. âListen, speaking of. Iâm going out of town for a few weeks. Gonna take Kitten on a little vacation.âÂ
Making a bit of a face at the pet name, Mingyu lifts his brows as Minghao rolls his eyes and speaks up, leaning against the table beside him. âCouldnât call her anything else? She has a name.âÂ
Shooting his best friend a look, Jun scoffs and tilts his head. âNot any name that matters; Iâll call her what I want. The point stands, we are going out of town. Hao, you are in charge and Mingyu...âÂ
Hearing his name, Mingyu straightens his back and meets Junâs eyes, uncertain what is about to be said, but his anxiety seems to know before itâs even out of his mouth.Â
âYouâll take on second. Donât let my bar burn down.âÂ
As if he didnât have enough of his plate already. Seeing the look in Junâs eye, Mingyu puts on a good face and nods. âGot it.âÂ
Mingyu was a complicated man. There were some who knew him as a cheerful person, most of those people got to know him when he was drunk. There were those who knew him as threatening, those were the people who got to know him on a bad day, and then there were people who had known him for most of his lifeâthose people could tell when he was bluffing.Â
Following behind Mingyu after he had checked the last box and sent the others home for the day, Minghao watched his friend closely before finally speaking up, knowing they were alone, at least enough that he didnât have to worry about being heard. âI wonât make you do anything you donât already do while Junâs out of town, Gyu.â
Leaning his head back in annoyance, Mingyu stops in his tracks at the sound of Minghaoâs voice. He should have known he wasnât alone and if it had been anyone else, he probably would have. Xu Minghao, however, was quiet, and thatâs what had made Jun interested in him in the first place.Â
Turning to face the man, Mingyu puts on the same face he had given Jun before shrugging. Even if Minghao gave him more to do, that wouldnât be the end of the world; it wasnât like he had a life outside of this bar anyway. Mingyu had known what he was getting into all those years ago when he took that first wad of cash from Jun.Â
âI donât care. You could send me to the moon to buy you a 1911 Colt and Iâd make it fuckinâ happen.â Minghao could hear the stress in Mingyuâs voice and it caused the corners of his lips to turn down as he took a step closer to his friend. If anyone needed a vacation from here, maybe it was him, but he knew those were few and far betweenâJun got what he wanted when he wanted it, but that was owner privilege.Â
Reaching up to rub at his neck, Minghao glances back towards Junâs office, hearing him talking low on the phone. He knew Junâs schedule and what he could get away with and in theory, what Mingyu could get away with, at least for the time being. âTake tonight off. Jun doesnât leave until tomorrow night. Iâll need your big ass here then, but I canât have you tired and moping around the door like this tonight.âÂ
Scoffing, Mingyu shakes his head and tosses the towel he had been using in the warehouse into the laundry room as he starts to walk away from Minghao as he speaks up a bit louder to make sure heâs heard. âWe donât get nights off, Hao. Iâm fine. I donât trust anyone else at the doors. Anyone could walk in.â
Mingyu had already thrown out five people and the night had barely started. Minghao already felt like ripping his hair out as he heard another disgruntled patron trying to drunkenly state their case to the large man as he hauled them back towards the door. While Minghao didnât disagree with most of the people that Mingyu had thrown out, some of it was for petty shit that on most nights they would look in the other direction ofâlike this one.Â
âMan! What the fuck? I said I was sorry. My hand slipâslipped.â The man hiccuped through his explanation, but clearly Mingyu wasnât hearing any of it as he pushed the door open and started to toss the man out towards the ground.Â
Sighing, Minghao grabbed Mingyuâs arm, feeling the larger man push back against him, fire in his eyes, before he realized who had a hold of him. âWhat? Are you gonna punch me? Throw him out and meet me in the back. We need to talk.âÂ
The sound of the manâs body hitting the concrete makes Minghao shake his head as he hears those waiting in line let out a reaction. Some of them are amused and others seem shocked or horrified. Throwing up his hands, Mingyu meets some of their eyes before slamming the door and rolling his neck as he follows Minghao back towards the warehouse, feeling his blood boiling.Â
âCan we make this quick? I really donât trust Soonyoung on the door alone. He lets any chick through the door if she flashes her titsâŚâÂ
Shooting Mingyu a look, Minghao scoffs at the manâs words before running his hand over his face out of stress and impatience. âYou used to too, Mingyu. Cut him some fuckinâ slack⌠matter of fact, cut everyone some slack tonight.â Minghaoâs words are strained as he meets his friendâs eyes, seeing the same look heâs seen for weeks.Â
Shaking his head, Mingyu lifts his hand to run it through his hair before turning away from Minghao to take a deep breath. He could feel himself getting angry at his friend and he didnât want to let his anger get the best of him. He wasnât like this all the time⌠just when he was stressed or tired and lately that was all he knew.Â
âWhatâyou know what, Hao? We spend all fucking night catering to these drunk assholes who grope the girls or pick fights with us and you expect me to just cut them some slack?â There was a layer of resentment in Mingyuâs voice as he finally turned back to face Minghao and meet his eyes.Â
Throwing up his hands, Minghao groans, feeling his own frustration coming to a boiling point. He had tried to get Mingyu to take a night off but the big oaf had been too stubborn; now they were all paying for it.Â
âIâm just saying that you need to chill the fuck out. Itâs either that or you can go the fuck home. You understand me?â Watching Mingyuâs jaw clench, Minghao clenches his own and takes a step closer to the man he has known for the better part of a decade. âGo out there and enjoy this jobâat least pretend to. Find a girl and get your dick wetâsomething! But stop walking around like you are going to knock everyoneâs head off.âÂ
Mingyu wanted to. He really did. He had been spending more and more time in the gym with a punching bag in front of him, to the point that his knuckles would swell and bleed. Right now, he wanted to put someoneâs head through a wall, but even thinking about it made his skin crawl. Minghao was right; he even knew this wasnât like himself. He felt like he was drowning.Â
Taking a shaky breath, Mingyu takes a step back from Minghao and runs his hand over his lips before looking around the room. âI just⌠Iâm not sleeping. Iâll call it for the night, alright?â Mingyu didnât look for sympathy and he didnât want to look weak because he wasnât. So even now, as he felt Minghao get closer to him, he wanted to bolt out of the room as bile rose in his throat.Â
âLike I saidâget your ass out of here. Iâll see you tomorrow.âÂ
The sound of his phone going off made Mingyu feel like his head was going to explode. He had done what he said he was going to do after leaving work. He had gone home and gone to bed. It hadnât been his fault that his sleeping partner had been a fresh bottle of Jack and that bottle now lay empty next to him.Â
Smacking at the nightstand with a large hand, Mingyu swipes the phone from it and puts it to his ear with a groan as he answers it. âWhat?â His voice is deep, full of sleep, as Mingyu rests his forearm over his eyes, trying to block out the sun that dares to peek around his black out curtains.Â
Jun smirks against his thumbnail as he hears the sound of Mingyuâs voice. He knew Mingyu had gone home early the night before and he had assumed that the man would be all bright eyed and ready to get on with his day; instead, he sounded like he had just crawled into bed.Â
âMorning sweetheart. Did I wake you?âÂ
Whining to the sound of Junâs voice, Mingyu turns to his side, laying the phone on the pillow next to him for a moment before putting it back against his ear and forcing his eyes open. If it were anyone else, he could tell them to shove their phone up their ass and not call them back, but no, it had to be Wen Junhui.Â
âIt was a long night. Do you need me? I can be there in likeââ Mingyu starts to count up how long it would take him to shower off the stink of whisky and to get dressed when Jun smiles into his words and saves him the trouble. âI do need you, Gyu. I always do, but Iâm already on the way to the airport. Much to my surprise, I need you for other things.âÂ
Furrowing his brows, Mingyu sits up with a pained groan, feeling the blood rush from his head and eyes. He knew Jun was picking on him, but what could he possibly need help with if he and his lady were already going out of town? Blinking a few times, Mingyu slides off the bed and rubs at his neck with his free hand as he trudges towards his kitchen.Â
âWhat things? Guns?â Mingyu sounds confused and tired as Jun listens to the sound of him rummaging around his apartment. Turning to look at Haneul, his fiancĂŠe as he runs his fingers along her cheek, Jun sighs and shakes his head. âNo, thatâd be easier. I got a call earlier from my sister. Sheâs landing in a couple hours.âÂ
Taking a large gulp of water, Mingyu pauses midswallow, only to get choked at the thought of Jun having a sister. Did he know that? Had he met Junâs sister? What did this have to do with him? Coughing, Mingyu shakes his head and takes a breath, barely hearing Jun sigh in annoyance until he catches his breath and wipes at his lips, his voice a bit strained. âSister? Landing? Like a flight? Where?âÂ
âYou are learning new words, Mingyu?â Feeling Haneul smack at his hand and telling him to be nice, Jun sighs and purses his lips before rolling his eyes and explaining. âYes, my sister, Y/N. Her flight lands at Incheon at 4:45 pm. I want you to pick her up and take her to the family penthouse.â Pinching his brows, Jun shakes his head and lets out a breath. âShe didnât tell me until this morning she was even coming or else I would have... it doesnât matter. Just keep her entertained until I get back.âÂ
His mouth felt dry as Mingyu nodded along with Junâs words, as if they were a language that he understood. First he learned that Jun had a sister and now he was learning that he had to pick you up and keep you entertained. How did one entertain their bossâ sister?Â
âWhaâsureâŚokay. What does Y/N like? Should I just take her to the loungeâ-âÂ
âFuck no. Donât you fucking dare take her to the bar. Sheâs a respectable woman, Kim Mingyu. Keep her away from anything that is remotely underground, understand?â Waiting to hear Mingyu agree with him, Jun nods along with his âyesâ before continuing. âAlso, keep it in your fucking pants.âÂ
Opening and closing his mouth a few times, Mingyu tries to speak and come up with what to say in response to that, but the line goes dead, with Jun hanging up on him. Lowering his phone to the counter, Mingyu looks at the time and shakes his head. 2:15 pm⌠he had a little time to make sure he didnât look like garbage.
âI donât even know what Kim Mingyu looks like, Minghao.â You pout into your words as you roll your carry-on next to you towards baggage claim, your phone resting between your ear and shoulder.Â
Minghao smiles at the sound of your voice as he shakes his head and sits down behind Junâs desk at the lounge to turn on the laptop in front of him. âLook for a big idiot with nice hair. Iâm sure he will have a sign with your name on it, honey.âÂ
Wrinkling your nose, you lift your eyes towards where most of the drivers and families were waiting, managing to see one man who stood out amongst the rest. He was tall, muscular, and gorgeous. Biting your lip, you try to see whoâs name heâs holding, but the writing is messy, making it almost impossible to read unless you get closer.Â
âWow, is he really, umââ You try to think of how to ask Minghao about Mingyu when you sigh and bite the bullet, laughing. âHot?â Lifting his brows, Minghao hears how you laugh and it makes him curious and a bit worried. He had already been told to tell Mingyu to behave, but did he need to tell you the same thing? âHeâs... decent looking for an oaf, Y/N.âÂ
Nodding, you smile at the tall man as he glances down at his sign and back up at you, tilting his head like a puppy. âThen I found him. Talk to you soon, Minghao.â You hear Minghao try to speak, but you are quicker to end the call. Getting close enough to read your name in the chicken scratch on the piece of paper in the manâs hands. You laugh softly and look up at him with a sigh. âYou must be, Mingyu.âÂ
Fuck. Fuck! Thatâs the only word that is repeating in Mingyuâs mind as he looks at you. He had to be decent. He has to respect you, but fuck! You are so beautiful. Swallowing hard, Mingyu nods before lowering the paper in his hand and nodding. âMiss Wen⌠Iâll get your bag. Jun told me to take care of you and get you to your familyâs penthouse.âÂ
You watch as Mingyu turns his head away from you, quickly making your lips pull up in a curious smile. Following him towards the luggage carousel, you canât help the way your eyes move along his body and land on his biceps as he pulls your suitcase from the track before turning back towards you and reaching out for your carry-on.Â
âSo... you are a driver for my brother?âÂ
Your words cause Mingyuâs brows to furrow, his breath getting caught in his throat as he walks with you towards the parking garage, being careful of traffic. Glancing towards you, he offers you a smile before tilting his head as if trying to think of the right thing to say before letting out a breath and finally speaking. âUh, sometimes. I do a lot of things for your brother.âÂ
Reaching the G Wagon with him, you purse your lips, surprised not to see something different even as Mingyu loads your luggage into the back and moves around to open his passenger's side door for you. Seeing the look on your face, he lifts his brows slightly and presses his lips together, glancing at his car and back at you.Â
âIs... is this not okay? Do you want to sit in the back? Do you not like my car?â Scratching the back of his head, Mingyu watches your lips pull up into a smile as he rambles. âJun just told me to pick you up, so honestly, I donât know much about what you do and donât like... Miss Wen.âÂ
Finally laughing, you slide past Mingyu and climb into the car, glancing up at him as he rests his hand on the door, giving you a curious look. Letting out a breath, you lean your head back into the leather headrest and reach for the seatbelt as Mingyu keeps his eyes on you, even as they move along your face and down your body before he quickly moves them back up, realizing what he is doing when you finally speak to him. âI donât like being called Miss Wen. Just call me Y/N, please.â
Swallowing hard, Mingyu then rubs his lips together out of nerves before lowering his head with a laugh. He just didnât want to piss Jun off and while trying not to do that, he was being weird around you. Patting the top of the door frame, Mingyu nods before taking a step back to close your door. âYou got it, Y/N.âÂ
Glancing around the large living room, Mingyu glances towards you as you drop your bag onto the couch before moving towards the floor to ceiling windows. He knew he really didnât have to do much more for you. Yes, Jun had told him to keep you entertained, but he had done the first part. He had gotten you from the airport to the penthouse. The bar was going to open soon.Â
Biting at his lip, Mingyu takes his phone from his jacket pocket and checks his messages when you glance back to look at him in the hallway, your luggage on either side of him. You could see his brows furrowed even from across the room. He had seemed so tense the entire drive from the airport and you could barely get him to open up to you. He was like a puzzle that you were dying to solve.Â
âTalking to your girlfriend?âÂ
Your words pull Mingyu out of his haze as he reads Minghaoâs text and back into the present with you. Lifting his brow, Mingyu scoffs but quickly clears his throat before shaking his head and sending a quick text back to Minghao. "No, I donât have one. I was just letting Minghao know I had you here. Seeing if he wanted me at the lounâat work.âÂ
You watch as Mingyu quickly changes his wording and clears his throat once again. Stepping closer to the middle of the room, you can see the way he swallows hard and you know itâs because heâs trying to hide something from you. Smirking, you nod and gesture towards your bags before pointing towards another hallway. Mingyuâs eyes follow your hand before finding your eyes once again when you speak, some teasing in your voice. "Well, before you leave me for my brotherâs shady bar, can you put my stuff in my room?âÂ
Mingyu feels his stomach in his throat as you mention the bar and start to walk towards the bedrooms. Groaning, he closes his eyes, feeling his phone go off in his hand, finding himself unwilling to look at it right away as he listens to your high heels click against the floor.Â
So you knew about the lounge. Jun had told him you were a respectable woman. Mingyu had done his own research. Respectable was putting it simply. You were a doctor and where Jun might have lined his familyâs pockets in his own way, you were like a beacon of joy for them, with your face in scientific journals and standing in front of hospitals with sick children. The lounge was so far away from who you were.Â
Looking around the master bedroom, you nod before glancing back towards the door when Mingyu moves into the doorframe, only to stop and clear his throat as if asking for permission. He was not only breathtakingly handsome, but one of the most adorable men you had ever seen. You knew he worked for your brother in some capacity and in his less than desirable business adventure, but you couldnât imagine it right now. Mingyu did not seem like the type of man to work for your brother. Then again, at one point in your life, you said the same about Minghao.Â
âYou can come into the room, Mingyu. What did my brother say to you to make you so afraid of me?â You smile, a small laugh in your words, as you take a step backwards to sit on the end of the bed as Mingyu puffs up his cheeks.Â
Pushing your suitcases into the room, Mingyu looks down at you on the bed and he feels the image being burned into his brain as he tries not to imagine you lying back on it as heâsighingâshakes his head and lifts his hand to run his fingers through his hair. âHe told me to take care of you. Entertain you while he was gone, but he also told me to behave... in not so many words.âÂ
Biting at your lip, you laugh once again, lifting your leg to cross it over the other, feeling Mingyuâs eyes drop to your legs before he has to force himself to look away, pulling out his phone once again to check his messages. âBehave, huh? And what does that mean? Are you bad, usually?âÂ
Feeling heat rising in his neck, Mingyu swallows hard, not only at the text messages from Minghao but also at your words. What were you trying to do? You were obviously testing him. You were teasing him. He should run for the hills and a cold shower.Â
Laughing, Mingyu focuses on his phone, sending one last text to Minghao, pressing send harder than necessary as you watch him closely. âWho are you texting, Mingyu? Still talking to Minghao? I might start to get jealous. I thought you were supposed to entertain me.âÂ
Glancing at you over his phone, Mingyu sees the smirk on your lips. You were causing some intense feelings for him. He was afraid of you for so many reasons already. You were bad for his job and his friendships. You were a brat and he could tell you were having fun, seeming to know that he wasnât going anywhere.Â
Minghao: Donât need you tonight. Jun wants you to get some shit and guard Y/NÂ
Mingyu: You gotta be kidding me.
Minghao: I donât need to remind you, but I will, because sheâs like my sister tooÂ
Minghao: Keep your dick in your pantsÂ
Mingyu: Iâm not an animal
Minghao: Yes, you are. Donât let anything happen to herÂ
Minghao: Understand me?Â
Mingyu: I understand!Â
Giving you a strained smile as he shoves his phone into his pocket, Mingyu takes a step back from you and lifts his shoulders with a deep breath. âWhich room is mine?âÂ
You had already known that Mingyu was going to be assigned to be security for you until your brother got back, even if you had told Jun and Minghao that you didnât need a babysitter. At the time when you said it, you hadnât known who Mingyu was or how much fun it might be. Now you are happy to have company.Â
Smiling, you slide off the bed and up to your feet, glancing around your room with a teasing smile as Mingyu lets out a breath, afraid of what you are implying. Stepping past him, you glance up at him, letting your fingers trail over his hand before moving to the door. âFollow me.âÂ
Mingyuâs skin felt like it was on fire where your fingers had brushed over his. He was being stupid with just a small touch, but god, you were driving him crazy. You knew exactly what you were doing; it was going to take everything in him to keep some professionalism about him during this. He was already counting down the days, hours, and minutes until Jun would be back and this job would be over.Â
Following behind you, Mingyu lets his eyes move down your back and over your ass before he glances off to the side when you make a quick right turn into the room right beside yours and nod. Glancing over your shoulder at Mingyu, you lift your hands to do a quick eye to hand measurement of his height before doing the same for the bed and making an unsure sound. âYou might fit, big boy.âÂ
Unable to stop the scoff before it starts to leave his mouth, Mingyu walks past you into the room and looks at the bed. It wasnât a small bed, and he wasnât that big. Meeting your eyes, Mingyu watches you smirk at him before you glance around the rest of the room and pout your lips at him. âYou didnât bring anything with you? Maybe I could take a ride with you and stretch my legs while you pack a bag.âÂ
You knew he didnât have anything else with him. Clearly, he hadnât been planning on staying, but you seemed to have known he was going to be sticking around before he did. Sighing, Mingyu scratches at his eyebrow before gesturing towards the door and giving you a strained smile. You could tell you were wearing him down. You wanted to crack him. Get to the real Kim Mingyu, not this professional mask he was wearing for the sake of your brother.Â
Mingyu hadnât expected you to follow him up into his apartment, so when you did, he could feel the heat rising in his neck and face. His apartment was nothing compared to the penthouse you were staying in or the penthouse that Jun owned. All Mingyu had was a one bedroom, one bathroom apartment in a decent part of town and he kept it pretty clean. Thank god.Â
âUh, Iâll be quick. Justââ You watch as Mingyu hurries past you into his living room to swipe a gun from his coffee table, a few bullets hitting the floor as he curses under his breath, leaning down to pick them up. âMake yourself at home, I guess.â Glancing over his shoulder at you, Mingyu pushes the bullets into the magazine in his hand before pushing the magazine into the pistol and hearing it click.Â
Your brows were raised and you were watching him curiously. He hadnât planned for you to be in his space. He had been cleaning one of his guns the night before, well before the bottle of jack, but normally people werenât inside his apartment. Especially people who looked like you and were decent, normal people.Â
Following Mingyu with your eyes, you watch as he leaves the door crack, probably to listen to in the other room as he grabs a bag and starts to fill it with various things. You werenât surprised that he had a gun and it didnât bother you; in fact, it made him even sexier somehow. You felt a bit safer around him knowing that he was armed, especially if he was supposed to be taking care of you.Â
Looking over the books on his shelves, you tilt your head and smile at the titles. They werenât what you would expect someone like Kim Mingyu to have. As that thought crosses your mind, you think to yourself that it isnât fair of you to think that. You didnât know him well enough to judge his reading habits or intelligence. You just hadnât expected to see The Count of Monte Cristo sitting on his shelf with the binding broken as if it had been read several times.Â
Pulling the book out, you hold it delicately in your hands as you flip through, reading over the wordsâsome you remember, others that you hadnât forgotten, having not read it in so long. What makes you smile are the notes in the margins in the same chicken scratch that you had seen your name written in at the airport.Â
Grabbing a few things from his bathroom, Mingyu zips up his bag and checks his pistol before sliding it into the holster under his jacket. You were quiet in the other room and that was making him nervous. He had tried to be quick while packing, but he had no idea what to bring, so he went simple and only took what he needed.Â
Turning the corner into his living room, Mingyu stops in his tracks, seeing you standing in front of his bookshelf with one of his books in your hands. You were gorgeous in the evening light pouring in from the decently large windows he had been blessed with, and you had the prettiest smile on your lips as you ran your fingers over the margins of the book. He could already tell what book you were looking at before even getting closer. It was his favorite, but that was probably easy to see, which is probably why you picked it up. It was obviously the most well loved book on the entire shelf.Â
âAll human wisdom is contained in these two wordsâWait and hope.â You read the quote from the book that Mingyu had re-written at the top of the page before glancing up at him as he watches you carefully. Closing the book, you slide it back into his place and take a breath before offering him a smile. âAre you a tortured soul, Kim Mingyu?âÂ
Laughing into a scoff, Mingyu adjusts his bag on his shoulder and shakes his head. âI just enjoy the idea of revenge being fulfilled, I think.â Mingyu watches you nod and take a few steps closer to him, the air feeling thicker as he tries to take a breath only to get a deep breath of your perfume.Â
âAnd it has nothing to do with the love story attached to it? That isnât why youâve read that book so many times that the pages are falling out.â Mingyuâs eyes fall to your lips as you speak and he has to force himself to look back up to your eyes before pulling his gaze away from you and towards the window with the golden light.Â
âItâs just a story.â You think to yourself as you hear the words come out of Mingyuâs mouthâwhat a beautiful liar he is.
Leaning back in the chair, Mingyu glances around the penthouse as you open the fridge and sigh. He wasnât sure what you had expected to be in there. From what he understood, you hadnât given Jun much of a heads up about this visit so it wasnât like he could have things stocked and ready to go for you. Obviously, there wasnât going to be a fridge full of food just waiting for you to use.Â
âWhat is your favorite food, Mingyu?â Closing the fridge, you turn back towards the living room to lean against the kitchen island to face Mingyu. He looked surprised by the question, but you already had your phone out and were ordering groceries while waiting for him to answer you.Â
âWhatever you like.âÂ
Smirking at his answer, you glance up from your phone and tilt your head before stepping around the island and into the living room to sit on the couch closest to the chair that Mingyu had chosen. The moment you had gotten back to the penthouse, you had opted to change. Your flight had been long; you were ready to get out of your clothes and into something more comfortable, so now you were in leggings and a tight tank top that Mingyu was having a hard time not staring at.Â
âOh? You like all the foods I like now? Have we reached that point in our relationship, darling?â Teasing him, you smile when Mingyu rolls his eyes and runs his hand over his mouth, opting to lean forward and look down at his knees to keep himself in check. You could almost see the stress rolling off of him; he needed a massage, maybe a vacation, but he for sure needed a good fuck before he suffered a heart attack. âIâm just picking on you, Mingyu.âÂ
He knew what you were doing and he wasnât an idiot. You werenât some angel like your brother and Minghao thought you were. Shaking his head, Mingyu glances up to meet your eyes before leaning back in the chair and laying his head back against the back of it. âAnything with meat. Iâm not a fucking rabbit. If you need me to go get food, I can. Just give me a list.âÂ
Lifting your phone, you show him the groceries you had ordered and then swipe over to the delivery app to show him where you had chosen to get dinner from. âWork for you? Weâve already been out enough today. Iâd rather we both stay in for the rest of the evening.âÂ
Mingyu couldnât argue with you on that. Nodding to the choices, he stands to take off his jacket, drawing your attention to not only his arms under his t-shirt but also the gun holster on his side. Feeling your eyes on him, Mingyu takes a breath and shakes his head as he takes the pistol from the holster and turns it to the side to show you his thumb resting against the safety. âItâs on. I know how to use it, or else your brother wouldnât have asked me to be here.âÂ
While you were curious about how and why Mingyu was so comfortable with the gun, you just nodded and leaned back on the couch, crossing your legs as he moved to put his gun down on the dining room table so he could unhook his holster and take it off.Â
âI wasnât going to ask if you knew how to use it, Mingyu. I mean, clearly, you do. Dressed like that.â Meeting your eyes briefly, Mingyu smirks as you glance away quickly and back to your phone as he lays the leather holster down on the table next to his pistol. Maybe it was that he had been with you for so many hours and that he was still feeling hungover, but what could it actually hurt to give you a taste of your own medicine. âYeah, dressed like what, sweetheart?âÂ
You close your eyes, feeling yourself clench the moment Mingyu calls you sweetheart and his voice drops an octave. He was fighting dirty now and your body was a traitor. Shifting your legs, you tighten your thighs and clear your throat as you tilt your head, letting out a scoff. If he wanted to play, you could play.Â
âLike that, you know, like a bad boy.â Giving Mingyu a once over, nice and slow, you finally meet his eyes and find that was a mistake as he lifts a brow and grins at you. Taking a deep breath, you think you turn your head away slowly, coolly, calmly, and collectedâbut Mingyu sees you panic and look away, making his ego grow.Â
âWhat if I am a bad boy? Is that what you asked me before? If I was bad? If I misbehaved?âÂ
When had his voice gotten so low and sexy? When did Mingyu get so close? You could feel his hands on either side of you on the back of the couch as he leaned over you, standing behind the couch, but you didnât dare look up. Instead, you focus on your phone even as you tap your foot against the floor, trying to hide how you are pushing your thighs together. Shrugging, you sigh, but it comes out shakier than intended, especially when you speak up. âIâwell, I did ask that, but I was teasing you.âÂ
Grinning, Mingyu leans down to speak next to your ear, his eyes on your lap as he does. âAnd Iâm teasing back. Canât handle the heat? Stay out of the kitchen, baby.â Blowing a kiss next to your cheek, he laughs before standing back at his full height and stretching, pulling his arms behind him as he walks around the couch and towards the hallway. âIâm gonna take a shower; let me know when dinner is here.âÂ
You could feel sweat running between your breasts and your neck at how hot Mingyu had literally made you. Swallowing, you run your tongue over your lips and lean your head back against the couch, hearing the door to his bedroom shut, giving you a moment to finally catch your breath. God, you were in trouble. It had been fun at first, but now you wanted him. You wanted him badly.Â
The rest of the night had gone fine. Even sleeping in a bed that wasnât hisâthat was fine, but what wasnât fine was waking up and walking into the kitchen to see you barely wearing anything. You were standing in front of the fridge, one hand on the door, the other pulling the carton of juice out, as you ran your toes along the back of your exposed calf. Mingyu couldnât help but let his eyes run along your bare legs up to where your tiny shorts barely covered your ass.Â
âIâarenât you cold? I mean standing in front of the fridge like that.âÂ
Mingyu wasnât much better than you were. He hadnât opted to put on a shirt, so when you looked over at him, ready to give him some smart comments back, you almost lost grip of the juice in your hand. Choking on your words, you close the fridge and turn towards the kitchen island, reaching up to pull down two glasses, sneaking glances towards the man as you pour juice in both. âIâno. No⌠Iâm not cold. Itâs the summer, Mingyu. Clearly, I mean, youâre running around half naked.âÂ
Looking down at his torso, Mingyu shrugs, moving closer to the other side of the island, reaching out for one of the glasses of orange juice as you slide it to him. You had a point, but in his opinion, it was one thing for him to be shirtless and it was another for you to have your ass hanging out and your titsâgod, your titsâjust on display through that thin little tanktop.Â
Swallowing his juice hard, Mingyu looks away from you, trying hard to think with his brain and not his cock, even as he feels it threatening to get hard just looking at you. Keep your dick in your pants. Thatâs what he had been told twice by Jun and Minghao, and yet you had been looking at him like he was a fucking three course dinner from the moment he had picked you up at the airport. How was he supposed to keep it civil with you when you were acting like you wanted to fuck him as badly as he wanted to fuck youâand he barely knew you. Did that even matter at this point? It had never mattered before with any other girl.Â
You were doing your best not to ogle Mingyu, but it was easier said than done. With your glass against your lips, your eyes walked the line from his face to the top of his pajama pants, where they hung low on his lips. You could trace the line of his v-cut and you could imagine doing it with your fingers or your lips, it was only when he cleared his throat, sat his glass down and moved around the island towards you that you were startled enough to stop staring.Â
âWhat are you doing?â Shifting out of Mingyuâs way, you watch as he opens the fridge and mutters to himself, ignoring your question as he pulls out a few things and sits them on the counter. Giving you a smile, he furrows his brows and opens a few of the lower cabinets until he finds the pots and pans he wants. âMaking breakfast, sweetheart. Whatâs it look like? Didnât look like you were gonna do it. I figure bigwig doctors donât have to cook for themselves anyway.âÂ
Rolling your eyes, you shift slightly, letting Mingyu pull the drawer open next to you as you feel his body pressed against yours. His skin was hot to the touch, and while his words frustrated you, having him so close made you struggle not to grab him.Â
Taking a spatula from the drawer, Mingyu winks at you and pushes the drawer shut, stepping back to hear you let out a slow breath. He could tell you were irritated with him. He liked it. You were a brat and he was enjoying pushing your buttons. It didnât matter if you were this smart as fuck doctor who could probably run laps around him when it came to most things, he could still teach you a few lessons.Â
âWhat? Whatâs that look for? Am I wrong? You donât have a personal chef?â Cracking a few eggs into a bowl in front of him, Mingyu watches you cross your arms over your stomach as you scoff. You werenât able to say anything, which told him he wasnât that far off. âOr you do. Is that a doctor thing or a Wen thing?âÂ
âYou are so fucking annoying... I hope you cook as well as you run your mouth.â There was some fire to your tone of voice and it was going straight to Mingyuâs cock again. Smirking to himself as he pours the eggs into the pan, he adjusts the heat and meets your eyes only for a second before taking a few slices of bacon from the package and adding them to another pan.Â
âAfraid Iâll try to put something in your mouth you wonât like?â Mingyuâs words make your cheeks heat up. Scoffing, you try to think of the right thing to say, but nothing comes to mind quickly enough so he fills the empty space with his irritatingly handsome laugh. âCome on, you know that was funny. I have to tease you a little bit. Youâve been keeping me on my toes, sweetheart.âÂ
Pushing your tongue against your cheek, you meet Mingyuâs eyes as he puts the bacon next to the eggs and puts the pan back on the stove, only to rest his hand on the counter next to your hip. âKeep lookinâ at me like that and youâll make me think you want me to do more than tease.âÂ
âYeah? And what happened to behaving?â You smirk, looking down at Mingyuâs hand, then back up at his eyes as he takes a step closer to you. Both of you knew this was a bad idea, but as you bite at your pretty bottom lip, letting it get caught between your teeth as you smile at him, Mingyuâs resolve breaks. Stepping in front of you, he puts his other hand on the other side of you to keep you pinned to the island as you take a deep, shaky breath. âI think Iâm done trying to behave. How âbout you, sweetheart?âÂ
Mingyu had put the ball in your court. He wasnât touching you yet. If you wanted to get away from him, you could. He would listen to you if you told him to get away, but those words never left your mouth. Instead, you whine his name, reaching up to grab him by his neck and pulling him down to your lips. Mingyu groans into the kiss, feeling your nails scratch at the back of his neck and into his hairline. It had been a while since a kiss had made him feel like this. He usually avoided kissing his hookups, but occasionally they would whine about it enough that heâd give in and they were nothing like this. They were nothing like you.Â
Sliding his hands from the counter to your hips, Mingyu nips at your lips as his fingers dig into your flesh through your clothes and he lifts you up and onto the counter. Stepping between your legs, he smiles against your lips before licking the seam of your lips, asking for permission until you give it to him, parting your lips. His tongue glides along yours and he groans to the taste of your mouth as his hands pull you forward and into his hips, letting you feel his cock hard between your legs.Â
Furrowing your brows, you lean your head back to take a breath, hoping your mind might clearâthat you might come to your sensesâbut Mingyuâs lips move to your jaw and then your neck. He only makes you want him more. You werenât like this usually. No man could make you throw yourself at them, but there was something about Kim Mingyu. Maybe it was being away from home and having no one around to tell you to be perfect. You felt like you could go on desire instead of common sense.Â
âOh my god, Mingyu...â You sound so desperate that it makes Mingyu groan against your throat, his hands finding the counter under you once again. He feels his cock twitch in his pajama pants at the breathy moans leaving your mouth and every single lie that he will have to tell Jun and Minghao feels worth it.Â
âFuck, you sound so pretty. Just like an angel.â Taking a step back, Mingyu runs his fingers along the sides of your legs, feeling chill bumps spread along your skin until he meets your shorts. Tilting his head, he licks his lips and meets your eyes, looking for you to give him permission as he pushes his fingers into the top of your shorts. Nodding, you lift your hips and press your lips together when Mingyu tugs your shorts down to your thighs with a groan. âBaby, youâre trying to kill me. You knew what you were wearing when you came into this kitchen. You were asking for me to fuck you, huh?âÂ
Shaking your head, you still smile as Mingyu lifts your legs and drops your shorts onto the kitchen floor at his feet. You shiver at the feeling of his nails lightly scratching along the slides of your legs as he steps back between your legs, his eyes falling to his prize. ââCourse you were. Itâs okay; you can tell me, angel. Have you been this wet the entire time?âÂ
Lifting his hand to his lips, Mingyu runs his tongue along the pad of his thumb as you watch. Keeping his eyes on you, he uses his thumb to spread your wet folds, searching for your clit. When you arch your back, pushing your hips toward his hand, Mingyu smirks and draws a circle around the small bundle of nerves.Â
âPlease, please, oh my god.â Your voice goes straight to Mingyuâs cock. He feels himself start to leak against his pants as he turns his hand, brushing his knuckles against your folds when you lift your hips, trying to get more from him.Â
âPlease what? You know... you havenât been very nice to me, Y/N.â Mingyu meets your eyes, and as he pouts his lips, his words almost sound sad. Scoffing, you glance down at his hand only to have his free hand grab your chin, bringing your eyes back to his face. âEyes on me. You have teased me since you got here. You might be pretty as an angel, but you are a brat. I need to teach you a lesson, baby.âÂ
Whining, you lean your head back, a pout on your lips this time as Mingyuâs fingers move from your pussy to your leg. âNo, no⌠Iâm sorry. Touch me. I can be good.â Mingyuâs lips pull up in a smirk as he tilts his head, listening to your begging. He could get used to the sound of that, but it wasnât good enough. All he had done was threaten, and he had to follow through.Â
âAre you scared?â Strong hands grip your hips as Mingyu slides you to the end of the counter. You meet his eyes and try to think about how to answer him. Swallowing hard, you nod, and Mingyu nods, lifting one hand up to cup your cheek. Taking a step back, he leans in and kisses you so sweetly that your head spins, only for you to gasp into a surprised moan when his other hand comes down in a sharp slap over your wet folds. âWant me to stop?âÂ
Breathing hard against his lips, you close your eyes tightly to the strange feeling of pain and pleasure as Mingyuâs fingers run through your folds once again. Pushing his index finger into your tight hole, he keeps his eyes on you, waiting for your answer, but you only shake your head. âWords, angel, or I will stop.âÂ
Wrapping your fingers around his wrist, you push Mingyuâs finger into you further and he groans on your lips, meeting your eyes. Leaning in a few inches to press your lips to his, you speak between kisses, keeping your eyes on his. âDonât stop. Teach me a lesson, Mingyu.â
A deep groan comes from Mingyuâs throat, almost a growl as he leans his forehead against yours, hearing those words come out of your mouth. You were where this untarnished, this perfect white rose⌠and he was going to ruin you.Â
âOh, Iâll teach you something youâll never forget, baby. You're dripping down my finger, just like a little whore.â Gasping not only at Mingyuâs words but also at the feeling of a second finger pushing into you beside the first, you grab at his wrist again. Mingyu grins, an almost cruel laugh on his lips, as he rubs his fingers back slowly towards his palm, feeling your soft walls on his fingertips. âI thought you were supposed to be respectable. Thatâs what your brother told me.âÂ
Trying to lift your lips, you whine Mingyuâs name when his free hand pushes your hips back down on the kitchen counter. Tsking at your behavior, he leans his head back and meets your eyes as he lifts his brows and slides his fingers out almost all the way. âIâm talking, angel. Stop being so fucking impatient. You told me to teach you a lesson, so listen to me.âÂ
Fingers plunge back into you, causing you to choke on a moan. Mingyu relishes the sounds coming from your mouth as much as he enjoys the feeling of your pussy sucking his fingers back in with every thrust.Â
âPlease⌠please. Iâm good. Iâm listening.â Your words are almost incoherent babbling and Mingyu canât help but smirk. Were you that drunk off of him already? He had barely started. All you had gotten from him was a kiss and his fingers fucking you, and you were struggling to remember how to speak.Â
âSo fucking pretty and making such a mess.â Your cheeks burn in embarrassment because you know that Mingyu isnât lying. You can hear how wet you are as his fingers fuck into you at such a brutal pace that you are seeing stars.Â
Unable to keep yourself up anymore, you slide your hands back, only to gasp in surprise when you hear the sound of glass hitting the floor and shattering. Mingyu laughs, his eyes on you, as you try to look for what fell. âWho the fuck cares? I donât even want breakfast anymore. I got mine right here.âÂ
Running your hand over your face, you struggle to catch your breath as you lay back on the counter, feeling Mingyuâs fingers slide from you, leaving you right on the edge of your orgasm. If you were any more coherent, you would have yelled at him for not finishing, but you didnât have time to come to your senses or to be angry. The feeling of Mingyuâs tongue taking the place of his fingers has your stomach in knots. Trying to push your thighs together, you find it impossible as a strong hand holds one leg up, and Mingyuâs face grinds into your pussy.Â
There were few things that Mingyu loved more than getting his dick wet, but eating pussy was one of them. The feeling of a womanâs thighs around his head, having to take deep breaths between groaning against her soft plush foldsâthat was better. Mingyu could feel himself getting close to his own climax. He knew he could ask you to let him fuck you, that youâd probably agree, but this was it. This was what he had wanted the moment he walked into the kitchen and saw your ass peeking from under those little shorts.Â
Digging his nails into your skin, Mingyu nudges his nose against your clit as he sucks at your pussy, enjoying not only your taste but the smell and feeling of you against his mouth and skin. Yes, this was one of his favorite things to do, but with you? This was fucking heaven. You were heaven. He had been calling you an angel because of how you were moaning his name, but tasting your cum on his tongue and feeling you grind against his face? You had to be his one gift from God.Â
You werenât sure how many times Mingyu had made you cum on his tongue. You had never felt anyone use their mouth like him and by the time that you had your fingers in his hair pulling him from your thighs, you were sobbing and your legs were shaking. Meeting your eyes, Mingyu licks his lips before glancing back down at his prize with a groan. You were beautiful. From the top of your head to your toes, your pussyâwet and swollen from his mouth was to die for.Â
âI needâI wanna help you. God, you are trying to kill me.â You watch Mingyu run his fingers through his hair, a sheepish grin on his face as he stands up between your legs. You were out of breath, you looked exhausted and pliant. Mingyu shakes his head as he wipes his mouth, feeling your fingers tugging at his hand, only for him to wrap his fingers around your wrist and keep your hand still.Â
âIâm good. You did help me.â Shaking your head, you move to your elbows and whine, reaching for Mingyuâs pajama pants, when you realize heâs not hard anymore. Furrowing your brows, you meet his eyes once again to see his brows lift as he licks his lips. âI came, baby. âSides... told you I had to teach you a lesson. It was a lesson in what happens when you tease me.âÂ
Mingyu watches a pout form on your lips. You were devestantly cute and it was bad for not only his job but his health. Jun and Minghao were going to kick his ass or they might just kill him. Shaking his head, Mingyu leans down to press his lips to yours as you whine his name and slide your fingers along his sides, feeling a thin layer of sweat under your hands.Â
âI know I need a fuckinâ shower now... and you need to eat. Iâll clean up the glass. Donât step on the other side.âÂ
He was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Watching Mingyu move away from you, you furrow your brows as he picks up a dish towel and leans down to clean up orange juice and broken glass. Just moments ago, he was calling you a little whore, and now he was worried about you getting hurt and needing to eat. Biting at your lip, you swallow hard and slide off the counter to pick up your shorts and put them back on as you listen to Mingyu pick up the pieces of your cup.Â
âShould weâI donât know, should we talk about what just happened?â Your voice makes Mingyu want to laugh as he puts pieces of glass into the dish towel and tries to avoid cutting his fingers. You seemed confused or maybe even like you regretted it. Shaking his head, Mingyu lets out a breath and moves to the trash with his towel, dropping it all in before meeting your eyes. âDo you wanna pretend it didnâtââÂ
âOh my god! No⌠I liked it. I justâJun and Hao. Should we talk aboutââ Lifting his hands, Mingyu laughs, making you stop before you spiral. Moving back around the counter, you watch him take in a deep breath and it draws your eyes to his chest once again. God, he really was the most beautiful man you had ever seen and you had just had his face between your legs. Your mind was spinning.Â
âItâs between us. I wonât tell them if you donât. Iâd actually prefer to keep my cock attached to my body.â Smirking, Mingyu tilts his head, reaching up to grab your chin, making you meet his eyes instead of looking at his chest. âYou seem to be interested in it too, so... deal?âÂ
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He was so lewd. He went from being almost sweet to making you feel like you were dirty. Nodding, you feel Mingyuâs thumb run over your bottom lip as he hums happily. âThatâs a good girl. Iâm gonna shower, eat what I made, even if itâs cold.âÂ
Dropping his hand, Mingyu lets his fingers trail over your hip as he walks towards the hall, leaving you alone in the kitchen with your head spinning and your thighs aching.Â
You had hoped that Mingyu would act differently after the morningâs extracurricular activities, but as soon as he got out of the shower and you were back in the living room with him, you found him with his phone in his hand. You were starting to hate his phone. He sat with you on the couch and didnât care when you tried to lean in close to him, but he didnât attempt to make any more moves on you.Â
It was like night and day.Â
Sighing at his phone, Mingyu shifts against you as you watch tv. Glancing at his wrist, he rolls his eyes and slides letting you unceremoniously fall against the cushions. Pushing yourself back up, your eyes follow him as he moves to pick up his leather jacket and pulls it on before glancing at you with an unsure look in his eyes. Words on the tip of his tongue before he finally bites the bullet, âI have to go into work. Itâs gonna be busy, I canât let Minghao cover that shit alone.âÂ
Sitting up, you glance around the room before meeting his eyes once more as he waits for you to give him permission, though he knows he doesnât need it. Yes, he was supposed to keep you safe and âentertainedâ, but what all could happen to you in a cushy penthouse. âSo⌠be a good girl, and Iâll be back in the morning.âÂ
Your mouth falls open and you are on your feet before Mingyu takes the first step. You werenât going to be a good girl, it seemed. Sighing, Mingyu runs his fingers through his hair. He had a good idea what you were about to ask, but hearing the words come out of your mouth didnât make them easier to hear or to decline. âCan I come?âÂ
Shaking his head no, he moves past you, feeling your hand grab his wrist as you stomp your feet and whine his name. He had been told explicitly not to bring you to the lounge. Of course, he had already broken some rules with you, which made it harder to look you in the eye.Â
âYour brother told me to absolutely not bring you to the lounge. Y/N, baby, please. Just stay here and be good. Place isnât for women like you anyway.â Mingyuâs words make you scoff. Women like you. What did he think you were? Some saint? Trying to jerk Mingyuâs arm back towards you, you arenât surprised when he is able to pull free with little effort.Â
Mingyu hated saying no to you, especially with how you were looking at him. He could tell you were upset with him, but heâd rather you be a little irritated than have you being felt up by some low life at the bar. Reaching up to grab your chin between his fingers, Mingyu presses his lips to yours, feeling you pout into the kiss for just a moment until you relax. You couldnât stay mad at him. It wasnât like he could just put his life on hold for you, though you desperately wanted him to.Â
âMm, Iâll make it up to you tomorrow. Weâre closed⌠Iâll treat you so good.â You could feel your knees go weak at the smooth tone of Mingyuâs voice as his fingers traced your jaw. He was playing you like a fiddle and you just nodded like the pathetic girl you are before kissing him once more at the door.Â
Watching the door shut, you whine and throw your head back dramatically before picking up your phone and laying on the couch. You knew Mingyu was probably right, but that didnât make it any easier to feel like Rapunzel stuck in a glass tower.Â
Y/N: [picture attached]
Mingyu sighs out a breath of smoke as he uses the palm of his hand to pull his G-Wagon into his usual parking spot. It was already getting late in the afternoon so getting to the lounge this late was like getting to class after the bell.Â
Taking one last pull from his cigarette, Mingyu tosses it to the pavement before pushing it into the concrete with his boot as he takes his cell phone from his pocket to check his messages from you. He knew he had a few. You were tempting him to come back to the penthouse and as much as he wanted to bring you along, or get back and throw you on a bed, he had a job to do.Â
Mingyu: That doesnât look like a good girl. Just a pretty slut with great tits.Â
Mingyu smirks to himself as you send a string of dramatic responses before he slides his phone back into his jacket and makes his way towards the building. Youâd be fine. You were safe and away from the shit that your brother had hoped to keep secret from you. It wasnât Mingyuâs fault you knew about it, but he could at least do what he was told and not bring you in right under Minghaoâs nose.Â
âHey man, I thought I was gonna have to do this shit by myself again.â Taking a deep breath, Mingyu shakes his head at Soonyoungâs words as he slips by the smaller man at the door. There were already a few people lined up waiting to get in. He had been in Soonyoungâs place before, and while he could handle it by himself now, he remembered the stress of being newer and being left to the dogs.Â
âNah⌠Iâm here. Sorry about last night. Had something else the boss wanted me to do.â Mingyu grabs one of the glasses from the bar and pours himself a shot of whiskey as Soonyoung nods along with his words before droning on about the night before. He liked Soonyoung, but he could already feel a headache behind his eyes as Chan turned up the volume at his booth, the bass causing his ears to ring.Â
âSo, Iâm just sayinâ... there are some real pricks cominâ every single fuckinâ night.â Leaning his head back, Mingyu winces at the burn of the alcohol before nodding, not even meeting Soonyoungâs eyes. âI get it. Donât fucking worry about it. If they show up, Iâll take care of âem.âÂ
Soonyoungâs shoulders relax at Mingyuâs words. He was happy to have him back. He could do his job and Vernon was decent help, but there wasnât anyone like Mingyu. It was different when you had a 6â2â wall next to you who wasnât afraid to put someone in their place. âCool, cool, alright, man. Thanks.âÂ
For the first couple of hours, Mingyu felt like he could fall asleep at the door. It was mundane and he was beginning to wonder if this was actually a Saturday night or not, but by hour three, he was eating his words. After four bar fights and a debate on whether one man needed an ambulance or not later, Mingyu was taking a much needed smoke break.Â
Scrolling through texts from you, he found himself smirking at how needy you were being. It wasnât just that you wanted him to come home and fuck youâit was that you were bored and spoiled. All he had done was play around with you a bit, fuck you on his tongue and fingers and you were already a spoiled little princess.Â
Mingyu: Baby⌠Iâll be back in a few hours. Donât you remember what I said? Trying to make me regret it?Â
Mingyu: Want me to take it back?
Pouting at your phone, you push your head back into your pillows as you kick your legs from under your blankets. You couldnât believe he was actually going to stay out all night. You couldnât believe that Minghao would keep him out that late, knowing that you were here, but you also knew you were being unreasonable. You knew that Mingyu had a life before you got here, and heâd have one once you flew back home.Â
Y/N: No⌠Just miss you. Itâs lonely in this big, âol apartment. Howâs work?
With his cigarette between his lips, Mingyu scoffs softly, almost feeling a bit soft at your response. You were so sweet, it was frustrating. You made him feel a bit crazy. Mingyu knew you werenât his for long. You shouldnât be his at all⌠he had made promises, but you had landed in his lap and he wasnât going to let it go to waste.Â
Mingyu furrows his brows at the sounds of footsteps behind him as he looks down at his half written response to you on his phone. It could be anyone; he was behind the building, but not many people came out unless they were doing exactly what he was doing or they were looking for someone. Someone looking for him? Soonyoung? Minghao?Â
Turning his head and starting to speak, Mingyu feels the breath get knocked from his lungs as the cigarette falls from his lips to the ground along with his phone. Concrete bites at the heels of his hands as Mingyu hits the ground, the sharp feeling of a boot hitting his side knocking any chance of a full breath from his lungs.Â
âGet up, motherfucker.âÂ
Mingyu groans, tasting copper in his mouth, his head lifting just in time for him to react and use the strength he has to catch the foot aimed at his head. Twisting hard, Mingyu rolls his body over, pulling the man down until he is under him, bringing his elbow down across the manâs cheek with a loud crack.Â
Neither notices the doors to the building opening until the light spreads over the ground, letting Mingyu see who had attacked him. Lee Eunseok, one of the men he had thrown out earlier in the night for starting a fight, and more importantly, one of Park Bonhwaâs faithful followers.Â
âGyu! Heâs down, itâs done!âÂ
Minghaoâs voice rings in Mingyuâs ears as he lands another punch to the side of Eunseokâs face, feeling muscle and bone give under his knuckles. He only stops when Soonyoung, Minghao, and Vernon pull him off, leaving the other man to catch his breath and bleed on the ground.Â
Tugging his arms away from his friends, Mingyuâs voice comes out as more of a growl as he feels his lungs and stomach twist in pain. âGet the fuck off me!â Hands move from him, but they stay close, keeping him from going back to Eunseok as he rolls on to his side, laughter escaping his cracked, bleeding lips between words. âSuch a little bitch, Kim.â Sliding his hand towards Mingyuâs phone, he looks at the screen at your name before holding it up to show it to Mingyu and the others with a look on his face that makes Mingyu feel sick to his stomach. âYour girlfriend? Should I call her and say hi?âÂ
Minghao moves forward before Mingyu can, grabbing the phone from Eunseok reading your name and turning off the screen. His eyes meet Mingyuâs and it tells him everything he needs to know. Not only had Eunseok struck a nerve, but there was plenty to talk about later.Â
âGet this son of a bitch off the property.â Mingyuâs eyes never leave Minghao's, even as Soonyoung and Vernon move to lift Eunseok from the ground and drag him towards the parking lot. Offering him his phone, Minghao gives Mingyu a once over shaking his head as the larger man takes it and spits blood onto the ground to clear it from his mouth.Â
âI donât wanna talk aboutââÂ
âI donât give a fuck what you want to talk about. What did I tell you?â Sucking in a breath as he lifts his hand, running it through his hair, Minghao curses under his breath, pointing towards the doors for Mingyu to move. In theory, Mingyu knew he could tell him to shove it up his ass. He could walk away, but he also knew that would be the end of his life. Jun wouldnât let him just walk away. So Mingyu put his head down like a child in trouble and walked towards the building as Minghao followed in tow.Â
The sound of the office door closing only makes Mingyuâs head throb more. He felt like he could finally catch his breath, though he knew he had bruised ribs. He could still taste the blood in his mouth and all he wanted to do was go after Eunseok and finish what the man had started. It wasnât in Mingyuâs natureâat least as of lateâto just âlet it goâ.Â
Sitting down against the desk, Minghao runs his fingers through his hair, giving Mingyu a good once over. He had seen him be careless the last few weeks, but directly going against ordersâeven that was bold for him. He knew that you were attractive and could be a tease, that didnât excuse Mingyu from thinking with his dick instead of his head.Â
âIf Jun finds outââ
âWhy does he have to?â Rolling his neck from side to side, Mingyu lets out breath before lowering himself into a chair in front of Minghao. To him, this was simple. He knew that Minghao was Junâs best friend, but he was also supposed to be his best friend. Where was his protection? Where was his bit of grace when he fucked up? He never got that. He just got sent to a corner or told to clean up someone's shit.Â
Scoffing, Minghao rests his hands on the desk under him, studying Mingyu. âYou think itâs just that easy? That I can lie to Jun about something to do with his sister?â Minghao shakes his head and looks towards a painting on the wall as Mingyu shifts in the seat, feeling anxious, ready to get up and leave.Â
âNot like Iâm knockinââ Before the rest of the words are out of his mouth, Minghaoâs eyes are back on Mingyu and his mouth shuts as he rethinks his words again. âItâs just fun. Itâs fun for her. I wouldnât do anything to fuck it up. Iâm not stupid.âÂ
That was up for debate as far as Minghao was concerned, especially with what had almost come out of Mingyuâs mouth. Just the idea of him getting you pregnant was enough to give Minghao a migraine and for him to watch Mingyu out of his sight. Lifting his hand, Minghao rubs at his eyes with a groan of annoyance as he shakes his head. His words are strained, and he regrets them as soon as they are spoken. âJust keep it to yourselves. I donât want to see it and I donât want to know about it. Jun will break your fuckinâ neck, Gyu.âÂ
Lifting two fingers to his forehead, Mingyu gives Minghao a sarcastic salute as he sighs and pushes out of the chair. âGot it, boss. Iâm cuttinâ outta here early. I think getting the shit kicked out of me gives me a pass, donât you?âÂ
There was something eating at Minghao about how Mingyu was acting, but he couldnât blame him for wanting to leave a couple of hours early to get some rest after what had happened. Taking a deep breath, he nods before saying Mingyuâs name, watching the large man turn back towards him with a clenched jaw. âText me when you get home. Just wanna make sure you're feelinâ okay. You were spittinâ up a lotta blood before.âÂ
Waving Minghao off, Mingyu mutters under his breath as he pushes the door open and his eyes move right for the exit. Minghao would be waiting a bit for that text.Â
Mingyu wasnât thinking clearly; he was just seeing red as he drove towards where he suspected Eunseok to be. Throwing his car into park, Mingyu winces as he looks at the back of the blacked out Cadillac. He knew he was in the way as Eunseok put the Cadillac in reverse and cursed under his breath while watching Mingyu get out of his vehicle and walk towards his door.Â
âGet the fuck out.â Point his finger towards the window; Mingyu doesnât need to see Eunseokâs face to know he can hear him. When he doesnât open the door immediately, the red Mingyu had been seeing goes to black as he jerks the door open and reaches for the man. He grabs Eunseokâs shirt under his hands and Mingyu grits his teeth, seething as he tries to pull him from the car. Falling back, he feels searing pain in his right arm.Â
The sound of the gunshot doesnât even register as much as Eunseokâs panicked breath and the way he fumbles the gun. Taking a step back, Mingyu looks down at his arm, the blood running along the brown leather and he acts before he thinks. His fingers wrap around the grip of his gun and before Eunseok can get off a second shot, Mingyu pulls the trigger, watching the man fall back across the center console.Â
The ringing in Mingyuâs ears dulls to a low hum as the world seems to slow down. Calming down, his breath slowing, the pain in his arm becomes all the more apparent. Hissing under his breath, Mingyu rolls his shoulder before looking back into the Cadillac at Eunseokâs limp body. He was half expecting the man to move and to groan in pain, but nothing happened.Â
Taking a step forward, Mingyu furrows his brows as he looks at the blood splattered across the dashboard. His eyes fall to Eunseok and the blood seeps from the wound on his chest. Wiping his hand across his lips, Mingyu groans, stopping himself from reaching for the door to steady himself. He hadnât meant to kill him. It was self defenseâinstinct, but that didnât stop the bile in his stomach from churning.Â
âFuckâŚâ Glancing around the parking lot, Mingyu rakes his fingers through his hair, trying to keep himself calm, though his heart was beating hard, causing blood to seep even quicker from the gunshot in his bicep. There wasnât a lot of time to stand and ponder, so acting on instinct once again, Mingyu reached for Eunseokâs jacket and took out his wallet. Pulling the cash from it, he pockets it and uses his shirt to wipe his prints from the leather before laying it on the manâs lap.Â
It wasnât perfect. If he had more time, heâd get rid of the car and Eunseokâs body completely, but the sun was going to rise soon, and Mingyu was bleeding too much. There was already a chance his blood was somewhere and if the cops looked too closelyâ no, he wouldnât let himself think about that.Â
Slamming the door shut, Mingyu wipes down the door handle and stumbles backwards, feeling the loose concrete under his feet as he takes one last look around. There had been many times when he had fucked up, but this time really took the cake. Mingyu slides behind the wheel of his car and winces in pain as he shifts it into reverse, the wheels spinning the gravel as he speeds off towards your penthouse.Â
Minghao: Has Mingyu gotten in yet?
Y/N: No, he said heâd be back in the morning.Â
Staring at your phone, you felt a sense of dread in your stomach. Why would Minghao be asking you about Mingyu? And why would he be asking if he was back yet? Something felt wrong.Â
Pressing down on Mingyuâs name, you put your phone to your ear, listening to the sound of it ringing as you bite on your lips. If he were at the bar, he might not answer you. He had stopped answering your texts, but you had assumed he was busy. But then there was that text from Minghao. Wasnât he also working?Â
No answer. You start to pace, your lips starting to feel raw as you hit Mingyuâs name again and listen to the three rings and then Mingyuâs voice tells you he canât come to the phone. âWhat the fuck, Mingyu?âÂ
Leaning against the door to the penthouse, Mingyu groans, feeling his phone go off in his pocket. He didnât know if it was Minghao, Jun, you, or worse... but he just had one thing on his mind, getting inside. You drop your phone on the couch as you hear the sound of the door opening, rushing towards it. Stopping to lift your hands to your mouth in shock as Mingyu moves through the door and leans back against it to take a deep breath.Â
Your eyes follow the blood as it drips from his jacket onto the white tile, keeping you frozen in place for only a moment until you rush forward and push at his jacket, trying to get it off. âLet me see it.â Shaking his head, Mingyu knocks his head back against the door at your panicked voice. In that moment, he forgets who you are, besides the girl heâs been flirting with. All he can think is that you are being dramatic, but your fingers on his face pulling his attention to you brings him back to reality. âTake off the fucking jacket, Mingyu. I need to see what happened. Is it a gunshot? I need to see if it went through or if I need to get the bullet out.âÂ
Mingyuâs brows furrow as he shrugs his shoulders, letting you remove his jacket and tossing it to the floor. Youâre a doctor. That realization comes back to him as you tug his t-shirt sleeve up and carefully inspect his arm. âGunshot.â One word. That's all Mingyu can manage, but itâs enough for you. Meeting his eyes, you nod and take his left hand, leading him through the living room and finally to the couch.Â
âSit down. I need to get a few things.â Pointing at the couch, you wait for Mingyu to sit, but when he doesnât right away, you sigh and push at his chest to guide him down. âY/N⌠I can deal with it myself. You donât gottaââÂ
As if you know what Mingyu is going to say, you give him a sharp look, leaning to press your lips against his, silencing him. Leaning back just enough to look him in the eye, you furrow your brows and let out a slow breath. âStay here and stop fucking complaining.âÂ
Leaning his head back on the back of the couch, Mingyu takes a deep breath, feeling the throb in his arm. Without his jacket on, the pain was even more intense and it felt like you were taking your time. In reality, you were going through your bag as quickly as possible to find what medical supplies you had the forethought to pack. The gunshot on Mingyuâs arm wasnât life threatening, it wasnât even something you hadnât dealt with before, but it was more that it was him.Â
Your slippers hit the floor as you quickly make your way back to Mingyu, finding him already getting antsy. You knew he could be reckless but now he was being willfully ignorant. Mingyu clinched his teeth as he pushed the skin on his bicep together as if he were making anything about his situation betterâas if without any tools he could mend it.Â
âWhat the fuck are you doing, Mingyu?! Get your dirty hands off. I swear to God, are you just being stuââ You stop mid sentence when you meet Mingyuâs eyes, seeing what you swear are tears on the rims of his eyes. You knew he was in pain; he had to be. It was one thing to be shot, the bullet to go straight through, but whoever had shot him had almost missed him and the bullet had cut through muscle and flesh, leaving a good two to three inch gash, dripping blood angrily down his arm.Â
Sitting beside him, your eyes follow Mingyuâs shaky hand as it drops to his lap, blood covering his fingers. âIâm not tryinâ to be stupid. Just⌠it fucking hurts, Y/N.â Your stomach twists at his words, but you keep your head pulling a pair of gloves on and moving closer to get to work.Â
You didnât have everything you would have in a normal hospital setting. There was no anesthetic. You didnât have anything to make your needle less painful as you worked it through Mingyuâs skin, and yet he didnât complain. The most you heard from him were sharp breaths and the occasional grunt, but when you put in the final stitch and meet his eyes, Mingyu gives you an exhausted nod.Â
âItâs not the best work Iâve ever done. If you had gotten here sooner and didnât fuck with it, I might have been able to save you from some of the scarring, butââ Mingyuâs eyes follow you as you take off your soiled gloves and put them into a bag, along with a few other things, and your voice falls off into a soft breath. He didnât care about the scar. He had plenty; another one wasnât going to change anything.Â
âThank you. Iâm sorry if I scared you.â Mingyuâs words cause you to scoff. Moving to your feet, you carefully discard the items you used before making your way to the sink to scrub your hands. He had no idea how much he had scared you and how much it frightened you that you felt anything about it. âComes with the job. I mean, not all the time. Shit happened tonight. I didnât meanââÂ
Lifting your hands, you look up at Mingyu and shake your head, watching his mouth close, his explanation go unfinished. âIâm not sure I want the specifics. Iâm just glad you arenât any more hurt than this. When I saw the bloodââ Letting out a breath, you turn off the sink and lean over the counter, looking down at the white quartz countertop under your fingers. âI know you are used to getting hurt, but it scared the shit out of me, Mingyu.âÂ
The bile that Mingyu felt after seeing what he had done to Eunseok churns in his stomach once again as you speak. His eyes move over your pretty face as you look at the countertop, as if it will ground you. This was why he didnât get too close to people. If he got hurt or killed, no one would care. No one should care. Why would you care? But if you got hurt, the idea of itâthinking about you hurting like he was tonightâmade Mingyu want to scream.
âWell, Iâm fine, baby. You patched me up, and if you think I look bad, shouldâa seen the other guy.â It was a bad attempt at de-escalating the situation and Mingyu knew it. He regretted the words as soon as they came out of his mouth. Shaking his head, Mingyu looks down at his blood stained fingers as you take a sharp breath, seeming to realize the magnitude of the situation. Mingyu had been shot. Someone had to have been firing that gun. What had happened to the one holding it?Â
âWhat about the other guy, Mingyu?â Moving around the kitchen island, you wait for Mingyu to answer you, but instead he stands up and winces at the way the muscle in his arm pulls. Shaking his head, he avoids your eyes, looking towards the hallway, before bringing his hand up to his lips to start to wipe them, only to smell the copper and stop. âDonât worry about it. Iâm going to take a shower and get some sleep. Thanks again, Doc.âÂ
Leaning his head back into the stream of water, Mingyu sighs, feeling the stress of the day weighing on him. He had thought that things were getting better. You had been a great distraction for a bit, but today was a painful reminder that his life wasnât going to change. The pain radiating down into his fingertips was enough of a sign that this was all he was going to get.Â
There was a reason that Mingyu was the way he was. He didnât speak to his family. He didnât keep women around for more than a night. The friends he had were all in the same line of business as he was and he wasnât sure if things came to push or shove or if some of them would take a bullet for him. Mingyu was good at keeping people at a distance and it was for a good reason.Â
You had been in his life for less than a week; barely anything had happened between the two of you, and already Mingyu was stressed over you getting hurt. He didnât want to hurt you or be the cause of it. That had been the main reason he had gone after Eunseok the way he had. If Eunseok hadnât seen your name, maybe Mingyu would have come back to the penthouse and called it a night. Maybe he could have let everything go, but seeing that smirk on the manâs lips and thinking of a dozen things that could happen to you had sent him over the edge.Â
Leaning his forehead against the shower wall, Mingyu runs his tongue over his lips, collecting the water from them as he curses himself mentally. What would you think he told you about why he had killed a person tonight? What would you think if you really understood that he had killed someone? Youâd be terrified of him, and rightfully so, but that was Mingyuâs life. That was this life that Jun was trying to keep you from.Â
Hitting his head lightly against the tile as he groans, having made up his mind, Mingyu stands at his full height and reaches over to turn off the shower with more force than necessary. Things had been fun while they lasted but if he was going to keep you safeâsafe from himâhe needed to distance himself from you. Jun would be back in another week and you would be out of his hair. He just needed to do the bare minimum and keep you out of trouble. You werenât important to him.Â
Even thinking the lie made Mingyu feel sick to his stomach as he swiped his hand across the mirror, wiping the condensation from it. His eyes move to his arm and your careful work. While he was in pain, Mingyu knew it could be much worse. He had been in worse situations before, with hack-job doctors patching him up, leaving him with infections. Being careful not to touch the stitches, Mingyu furrows his brows as he runs his fingers along his bicep and sighs your name under his breath as if it will make his plan any easier.Â
A towel around his waist, Mingyu pushes the door to his bathroom open, still going over what heâs going to say to you once heâs dressed, only to stop in his tracks when he sees you sitting on his bed. Every thought of pushing you away almost instantaneously slips from his mind when you give him a sad smile, lifting your shoulders as your eyes move over his body finally landing on his arm.Â
âI wanna wrap your arm. You need to keep it clean and dry.â Looking down at the gauze in your hand, you try not to focus on how Mingyuâs body makes you feel, because in that moment, itâs not why you are there. You had come to his room to help him and to tell him something important; it wasnât your fault that he was wet and almost naked. Clearing your throat, you nod, still looking at your hands and listening to the sound of Mingyuâs feet on the wood floor as you speak. âAnd I wanted to apologize for what I asked earlier. Itâs not my place to question your job. I know you are doing your best. MingyuââÂ
Fingers slide along your jaw and the heel of Mingyuâs hand lifts, tilting your head up towards him as he stands next to the bed in front of you. You can see the sadness in his eyes and it makes you want to question him, but instead you just whine his name one more time, breaking his resolve completely. There was no staying away from you, no doing the bare minimumâthat was the stupidest idea Mingyu had ever thought of. The only thing that mattered was the feeling of your soft lips against his as he leaned over you.Â
Your fingers flex in the air before you reach for something in front of you, one hand finding Mingyuâs waist and the other his forearm. The feeling of his damp skin under your hands grounds you and reminds you why you were there in the first place, giving you the strength to pull back from the kiss even as Mingyu chases your lips. âWait, no, I want it. Please, Mingyu⌠I want this. I justâlet me wrap your arm first. Okay, baby?âÂ
Baby. Hearing that name on your lips causes Mingyu to shudder, his mouth falling open as he nods silently. You tug gently on his arm, bringing him towards the bed, feeling shy under his intense gaze. Your touch is gentle as you work the gauze around Mingyuâs bicep a few times, covering the wound completely. Mingyu smirks to himself, watching how your brows crease in the middle when you concentrate, being careful to place the medical tape in the right places before finally meeting his eyes.Â
âAm I allowed to kiss you now? Can I move?â You make an unsure sound at Mingyuâs question even as he takes the roll of tape from your hands and puts it on the nightstand beside you. âIâyes, but you have to be careful, and... take these first.â Dodging another kiss, you listen to Mingyu groan in frustration as you swipe two pills from the nightstand and offer them to him along with a glass of water.Â
âWhat are they?â Furrowing his brows as he looks at the pills in your palm, Mingyu extends his own hand for you to drop them into before popping them into your mouth without hearing the explanation first. âVicodin⌠I donât have a lot with me, but I keep a few things... just in case.âÂ
Taking a gulp of the water, Mingyu nods along with your words, feeling grateful. He knew he would have had his own way of coping with pain, but your way seemed safer in hindsight. Letting you take the glass of water back, Mingyu tilts his head, waiting for you to stop him once again, but a small smile on your lips causes one to pull on his own. Using his left hand, Mingyu wraps it around your waist and tugs you down in bed, relishing in the sound of your surprised breath as he leans over your body and smiles against your lips.Â
âBe careful⌠donât pop your stitches.â Lightly running your fingers along Mingyuâs right arm, you stay away from the end of the gauze as Mingyu moves his lips to your jaw, speaking between kisses. ââM fine. I donât need that arm for this. Just need your clothes off.âÂ
Your mind felt clouded from the moment that Mingyuâs lips were on your skin. You couldnât think of anything other than him. You were enjoying the warmth of his breath on your neck, the way his nails scratched at your skin as he pulled your clothes from your body, and how big he felt against your thigh under his towel.Â
Tracing his side, you arch your back as Mingyuâs lips brush over your nipple, his teeth catching the bud between them with a groan. Your fingers push into the top of the towel wrapped around Mingyuâs waist and a soft chuckle against your breast tells you everything that you need to know. Glancing down at where the towel had once been, Mingyu shakes his head and tosses it to the ground, letting you feel his leaking cock against your skin.Â
âIf you wanted my cock out all you had to do was tell me, sweetheart.â Your eyes fall to where you feel Mingyu rut against your leg and your lips fall open in a soft moan at the sight. He was perfect. Everything about him. From his face, to his body, to his cock⌠he was everything you wanted in a lover. âOh my god, Mingyu. Let me ride you.âÂ
That hadnât been what Mingyu had expected. Smirking, he presses a soft kiss on your chest as he meets your eyes and tilts his head. âYeah, thatâs what you want? You donât want me to fuck you into the mattress?â Whining, you lean your head back, trying to escape his eyes, only for Mingyu to reach up with his left hand to tilt your head back towards him before he works his kisses along your stomach, downwards. âAsked you a question, pretty girl.âÂ
Lifting your hips, you whimper, feeling Mingyuâs breath fanning across your folds as he moves your legs apart so he can rest between them. Putting one leg over his left shoulder, the other bent up and resting to the side, he keeps his eyes on you as he runs his index finger through your wet folds, waiting patiently for you to speak.Â
âYes⌠I meanâfuck, Mingyu. Canât I ride you tonight? You can have me anyway you want later. Rest your arm. Let me sit on it.â The more you speak, the more embarrassed you get, and your voice gets meeker and meeker. You watch as Mingyuâs smirk spreads into a grin and he leans to press a kiss on your inner thigh before nipping lightly at the soft skin.Â
âMmkay, angel. You can sit on my dick, but first I gotta make sure you even can.â Before you can speak, question him about what you already know heâs going to do. Mingyu runs his tongue in a long stripe from your dripping hole to your clit with a groan. Choking back a moan, you grab at the comforter under you, getting flashbacks at how hard he had made you cum at breakfast with his tongue.Â
âPlease, please, please...â Mingyu wasnât sure what you were begging for, but he wanted to give it to you. He didnât want to make you wait for an orgasm tonight because, in his mind, that only prolonged his and he was already leaking obscenely as he rocked his hips against the bed under him. The sound of you moaning his name alone was enough to make him feel like he was going to cum, but this time he was determined to feel your pussy around his cock.Â
Working two fingers into you, Mingyu pulls back from your soaked folds to watch your mouth fall open with a silent gasp at the intrusion. You were so tight that even two fingers were stretching you out. He was bigger than two of his fingers, and you were making his mind spin with how you were fucking yourself on them, begging for more.Â
âYeah? More? Fuck, you are such a pretty little slut. Taking my fingers so good in this tight cunt. What if Iââ Pushing a third in beside the first two, Mingyu groans, resting his forehead against your thigh when your moan raises an octave, your walls closing around his fingers like a vice. âThatâs my girl⌠Want you to cum for me. You want my cock? You better cum for me.âÂ
Throwing your head back against the pillows, you scream Mingyuâs name as your orgasm rips through you like a tidal wave. Even if Mingyu hadnât told you to cum for him the moment his fingers had filled you the way they had, you were a goner. He seemed to know what made you tick and exactly what to do to make you fall apart, and he did it so well.Â
Chuckling under his breath, Mingyu brushes his lips along your jaw before pressing a kiss to your lips and nodding to the feeling of your cum soaking his fingers. After a few more thrusts of his fingers, he carefully slides them away from you and groans to the feeling of your body trying to suck them back in. âYou are so fucking greedy, angel. What are you doing to me?âÂ
Shaking your head, you whine out Mingyuâs name, trying to answer his question, but you don't know the answer. You werenât necessarily trying to do anything to him, you just wanted him more than anyone you had ever wanted in your entire life. Groaning on your lips, Mingyu trails his wet fingers along your hip to your side, pushing you down on the bed until you push at his chest, making him laugh. You were persistent.Â
âI know, baby. I promised. Itâs yours.â Licking his lips, Mingyu turns to roll from laying on top of you to resting beside you, adjusting a pillow behind his head. When you meet his eyes, you canât help but roll your eyes at how cocky he looks. You watch as he licks his fingers clean of your cum and smiles around them, lifting his brows as he waits for you to get moving.Â
âYou are insufferable.â Mingyu laughs at your words, his eyes moving along your body as you move to your knees and slide one leg over his thighs so you can sit over them. Even he had to admit that it was a beautiful fucking view. He could feel his cock jerk and leak from just the sight of you; he couldnât imagine what he was going to do once he was inside of you. âYeah? Maybe, but you are the one whoâs gonna be sitting on my cock.âÂ
Mingyuâs fingers slide along your thighs as he smirks up at you. He looked too good to be true, lying somewhat impatiently under you. It was almost unfair how perfect he could look even with the gauze wrapped around his arm, a bit of crimson seeping through from movement. Grabbing his right hand, you pin it to the bed gently as you shake your head and wrap your other hand around the shaft of his cock, stroking him slowly. âKeep this arm down.âÂ
Groaning, Mingyu lifts his hips towards your hand and flexes the fingers of his right hand, tightening them into a fist as he grips at your thigh with his left. He both loved and hated this. He loved your hands on him, but he wanted to be inside of you so badly that he wanted to put you back on your back. He wanted to have you on his cock and screaming his name, but instead you had him whining yours.Â
âFuâfuck. Donât tease. I havenât⌠I didnât tease you tonight. Said you wanted to ride me, so ride it.â Mingyuâs strained words have your eyebrows lifting in surprise. Pre-cum was running along your fingers with each stroke of your hand and you were beginning to wonder if you kept doing this for too long if heâd cum. From the sounds leaving his lips, you were almost certain he would.Â
Moving to your knees, you press your hand to the center of Mingyuâs chest as you use the other to keep his cock exactly where you want him. Your eyes never leave his face as you slowly take him inch by inch until you are sitting flush against his hips, your mouth falling open in a soft moan.Â
Mingyu tried to keep his hands down and do what you had told him to do, but the moment he was inside of youâfeeling you around him for the first timeâhe felt like his brain was going to explode. Hands grab at your waist as Mingyu groans, trying to sit up and move you over him, desperate to get some relief.Â
âWhy canât you do what I told you? Be good, Gyu.â Your words were driving him insane. You had to know what you were doing. Your soft fingers trail over Mingyuâs arm, putting his hand back on the bed next to him as your other hand slides up his chest, forcing him back down on the bed.Â
Rolling your hips down over Mingyu, you have to close your eyes and take a breath, feeling just how much his cock is stretching you. You knew he was big. There was no way you hadnât noticed, but seeing it and feeling it was different. There was so much about Mingyu that you were getting used to and you were becoming addicted to the feeling.Â
âI justâfuck, Y/N. Feel so fuckinâ good. Ride me, baby. Bounce on my cock, huh? You are squeezing the hell out of me.â You knew you were doing it even before Mingyu told you. No matter how much you tried to relax, it was hard to do as you felt him rutting his hips up towards yours.Â
Bracing yourself with one hand on Mingyuâs chest and the other holding his left hand, you nod and fall back to your knees, lifting yourself up before sitting back down. The feeling is overwhelming in all the best ways. You can feel how deep Mingyu is inside of you. You can feel the pressure building in your lower abdomen and rising even towards your chest as tears coat your eyes.Â
Mingyu furrows his brows, his eyes fixed on your face, as you get into a rhythm moving over his cock. Each time your ass meets his thighs, he thrusts his hips up hard, listening to you cry out in pleasure.Â
âPlease, it feels so good, Mingyu. I need to cum.â The words are almost spoken on a sob as you start to slow down, getting tired. Mingyu can tell you are frustrated not only by getting tired but also by your desire. Using his left arm, he wraps it around your waist and flips you on your back, reaching between the two of you to push his cock back into you in one fluid motion.Â
Surprised, you reach for Mingyuâs right arm, only for him to pin your hand to the bed with his right hand and thrust into you hard and deep. âIâm fine⌠just need you to cum on my cock. Thatâd make me feel better. Wouldnât it make you feel better, angel?âÂ
Nodding, tears running from your eyes towards your temples, you whine Mingyuâs name as his thrusts become urgent, almost desperate, pushing you over the edge. Lips find your throat, a deep groan of pleasure leaves Mingyuâs throat as he slips from you and you feel warm, sticky cum spill from him on to your stomach.Â
Running your fingers through Mingyuâs hair, you lick your lips while trying to catch your breath, feeling him do the same in the crook of your neck. It takes a few minutes before he finally sits back and his eyes move along the length of your body, finally resting on your stomach, where his cum paints your body.Â
Shaking his head, Mingyu doesnât even try to hide his smirk as he pushes his index finger through the cum, spreading it over your skin and enjoying seeing it on you. âThat feels gross.â Chuckling under his breath at your complaint, Mingyu lifts his brows, dragging his finger up towards your breast, stopping short and moving his eyes to yours. âBut you look so fucking sexy covered in my cum, sweetheart. Almost hate to wash it off of you.âÂ
Lowering your eyes to where his fingers rest on your ribs, you let out a faux annoyed sound that makes Mingyu laugh once again, his lips meeting yours as you smile, speaking between gentle kisses. âThen I guess youâll just have to fuck me more often, Kim MingyuâŚâÂ
With a gentle nip at your bottom lip, Mingyu pulls back to look down at you once more before finally moving to stand at the side of the bed and reaching for his discarded towel. You suck in your stomach at the feeling of his fingers pushing against it, cleaning his cum from your body so delicately as he purses his lips. âMaybe I will.âÂ
Despite pain being what wakes him up first, Mingyu finds himself staring at you as you lay facing him in the low light of the bedroom. It didnât matter if he felt like shit; if his arm felt like it weighed a hundred pounds, he still managed to turn on his side and lift his left arm so that he could carefully touch you.Â
In Mingyuâs opinion, you were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his entire life. You made him jealous of the sun as it slowly creeped along your exposed skin. He couldnât help but give in to his temptation, gently following the light with his fingers as he walked them along your skin. You made him wish for more; you made him wish for this⌠Things that seemed so far from what he knew. Life with you seemed like it could be so simple and more importantly, it seemed so warm. Mingyu had never felt so warm.Â
All of those feelings are ripped away from him by the sound of his cell phone vibrating on the nightstand. It wouldnât be his mom or his dad. It wouldnât be his sister or an aunt calling to ask if he was having a good day; there were only a few people it could be and as he turned over to pick it up, the searing pain in his arm and blood staining the sheets from where it had leaked through the gauze reminded Mingyu even more that his life wasnât simple and warm. He was cold and impossible. This with you was an impossible, stupid, childish dream, and Mingyu needed to wake up.Â
Giving one more lingering look at you lying peacefully in bed, Mingyu grabs his phone from the nightstand, a pair of pants from a chair, and moves into the living room. âYeah?âÂ
That wasnât how Minghao expected or wanted Mingyu to answer his call, but it didnât surprise him. Nothing did anymore. At least he was alive, even if he did sound worse for wear. âSo you do know how to pick up the phone. What the fuck were you thinking?âÂ
Sitting down on the couch, Mingyu glances over at his arm, his brows knitted together at not only Minghaoâs nagging, but also the feeling of the gauze sticking to his stitches. Pulling at the tape, he sighs and balances the phone on his left shoulder as he unwraps his arm, realizing he had forgotten to call Minghao the night before. âI just got busyââÂ
âFuck you. I know exactly what you were doing.â At first, Mingyu wonders if Minghao knows about you and him, but when Minghao continues, itâs even worse. âLucky for you, the dumb ass cops in that district actually believe itâs a mugging gone wrong. At least you arenât a complete fuckinâ idiot.âÂ
Wadding the gauze up in his hand, Mingyu leans his head back and lets out a longer sigh. Minghao was worse than a parent when things happened that werenât ideal. No, killing Eunseok wasnât ideal, but it had happened and now, in Mingyuâs mind, at least the cops werenât looking for him. At least they didnât think it was linked to the lounge. "Well, thanks; it means a lot coming from you. Sorry I inconvenienced you, Hao.âÂ
Minghao had heard of Mingyuâs pity parties and been there for his mental breakdowns, but this one was the worst. Lifting his hand to the bridge of his nose, Minghao shakes his head and sighs. The call suddenly becomes quiet, causing Mingyu to shift on the couch anxiously. As much as he put on a brave face and stood up to Minghao, he still didnât want him to be that disappointed in him; he didnât want to cause major problems.Â
âItâlookâŚIâm sorry. I know that doesnât fix it. I canât really fucking fix it. It happened so fucking fast.â Mingyu knew he was rambling, but the self loathing that he always felt was bubbling to the surface. He felt the disappointment even through the phone. âHe shot me and I reactedââÂ
âHe shot you? What the fuck? Are you okay? I fuckinâ told you to call me Mingyu!â Hearing the sound of Minghao moving around, grabbing keys, and god knows what else, Mingyu sits up, his voice strained as he tries to calm his friend down. âIâm fine! A bad graze, but... itâs fine. I should have called. You donât have to come here. I can come to you if you want.âÂ
Stopping in the doorway of his apartment, Minghao narrows his eyes and grips the doorframe tightly as he sighs and takes a step backwards. âYou need to get one of Junâs guys to look at it. You canât just hold it together with shitty tape like you tried to do with your legââÂ
âIâm not! Y/NâŚâ Minghao has to listen even closer to hear Mingyu when he speaks softer, his volume dropping almost to a whisper, as if heâs afraid you might hear him. âY/N, she stitched it up.âÂ
Minghao isnât sure if that is better or worse. The fact that a doctorâa real hands to god doctorâhad taken care of him but that same doctor was you. You had seen some of the worst parts of what he and Jun tried to keep from you. Mingyu was reckless and stupid. âSheâs supposed to be kept away from this shit, Mingyu. Remember that? Or is that something you forgot, like keeping your dick in your pants?âÂ
Leaning forward, Mingyu rests his head in his hand. The words should have made him mad, but after waking up and having his own coming to Jesus moment, he knew that Minghao was right. âI know. I fucked up. Sheâs too good for this, sheâs way too good to be messed up with a piece of shit like me.âÂ
There was truth to Mingyuâs words, but there was also a lot of self loathing mixed in that made Minghao even more pissed off and concerned about him. It wasnât that he wanted Mingyu with you, but he also didnât think that he was the biggest piece of shit that you had ever had the misfortune to lock lips with. There were worse choices, even if this choice was a walking headache at the moment.Â
âShe is good. Sheâs too good for all of us, Jun included, but that doesnât meanââ Mingyu listens to Minghao sigh loudly, cutting himself off. âNevermind, lay low. I donât want you in or around the bar for a while.âÂ
The last thing that Mingyu wanted to do was avoid the bar. He wanted to keep his mind busy and not dwell on what had happened, but even as he starts to argue, Minghao is quick to shut him down. âIâm not asking! Jun left me in charge, so youâll do as I say. If the cops come snoopinâ around, I donât need your big dumb ass here.âÂ
Of course, Minghao would pull the âIâm in chargeâ card now. Mingyu knew he was right, it would be stupid to go to the last place that he and Eunseok were seen together, but it wasnât like him to hide. Groaning under his breath, Mingyu nods before sitting up and letting out a deep breath. âFine. Whatever you want.âÂ
Minghao hated benching Mingyu; he needed him at the bar in reality, but he had done this to himself and now he had to clean up the mess. âGlad you understand. Iâll call you later.âÂ
You smile softly, feeling warmth on your hip and walking along your side. In your head, you picture Mingyuâs fingers causing that warm feeling. You can see him lying beside you, his eyes moving along your body as you slowly wake up, but when you open your eyes, you only see a bit of blood on the white sheet where he had been. Your smile is quickly replaced by a look of concern as you sit up and look around the room for him, only to see a pair of pants you had seen yesterday missing from a chair.Â
Running your hands along your arms, you realize how cold the room suddenly feels without him. One more look at the splotches of blood tells you his gauze needs to be changed out and his stitches checked, but maybe he was taking care of something. Looking for your cell phone, you grab it from the nightstand and furrow your brows at a missed call from Jun. It had been a few days since he had checked in, and you find yourself missing him. The trip had originally been to see him and catch up, but the timing had been off.Â
Glancing down the hall, you hear Mingyuâs voice low and a bit tense as he talks to someone on the phone. Wanting to give him time and privacy, you turn towards your bedroom and put your phone on the nightstand, hitting Junâs name and putting it on speaker phone so you can talk to him and get dressed at the same time.Â
âSleeping in late on your impromptu vacation?â At first, Junâs voice makes you smile until you hear the strain in it. There was a layer of anxiety that you could pick up on even in another country or through a phone call. âA little bit... whatâs wrong?âÂ
Jun wanted to be in the pool with his fiancĂŠe. He wanted to be enjoying the island and getting drunk, but instead this afternoon he was trying not to rip his hair out. âJust wanting to check on my sister. Is that a crime? I miss you.âÂ
While you could believe most of what Jun was telling you, the way his voice sounded kept you on edge as you pursed your lips and pulled a pair of jeans up your legs. âI miss you too. Howâs your vacation? Howâs Haneul?âÂ
Jun watches the sun move across the water as Haneul moves through it with a smile on her face, unaware of the situation, just as he likes it. Meeting her eyes for a moment, Jun winks at his pretty fiancĂŠe before leaning back in his chair with a sigh. âSheâs perfect. The island is nice. You should have just met us here; thereâd be less idiotic temptation.âÂ
Rolling your eyes, you scoff at hearing what you think is the main reason why Jun sounds like he does. Obviously, he had heard something about you and Mingyu. Your scoff doesnât go unnoticed by your brother, who lifts his brows and lets out his own scoff before starting to scold you. âI told you to be good while I was gone. You insisted on this trip even though you knew I wasnât going to be there. I knew leaving you with that whore was a mistake.âÂ
Hearing Jun call Mingyu a whore makes you stop what you are doing as you laugh at how ridiculous it sounds. Tugging your shirt down your torso, you shake your head before looking up at the ceiling and starting to tell him as much when Jun speaks first. âI know it sounds funny, Y/N, but Iâm not kidding, okay? He goes through women faster than anyone Iâve ever seen. Heâs not good for you. Heâs dangerous.âÂ
Jun telling you that anyone was dangerous also seemed like a joke, but you had spent the night before putting stitches into Mingyuâs arm, so you knew there was a layer of truth to it. Swallowing hard, you look back down at your hands, shaking your head once more. âJunâI⌠come on. Heâs so sweetââÂ
âSo he can get in your pants, Y/N! Use that smart brain of yours. Have your fun, but know that heâs not serious and he really is dangerous. Iâm not joking about that.â You try to come up with the right words to tell Jun that you donât care, that you arenât afraid of Mingyu, and that he can change. But feeling eyes on you from the doorway, you turn to meet Mingyuâs gaze. The look in his eyes is disappointed but resigned and it breaks your heart.Â
âI gotta go.â Jun tries to argue with you, telling you that he needs to know that you understand, but you are quick to end the call, watching Mingyu shake his head and turn from your room, moving towards his own. âMingyu! Heâsâwhere are you going? Donât worry about what Jun says. It doesnât matter to me.â
Mingyu knew youâd say something like that. You were a good person, a sweet girl, but your brother was right. Grabbing a shirt, Mingyu pulls it over his head and runs his fingers through his hair as he hears you move into the room behind him. âYou should listen to him. Heâs my boss for a reason. Iâm trouble, just like he said.âÂ
Reaching out for him, you get your hand around his waist only to feel his shirt slip from your fingers as Mingyu scoffs and sidesteps out of your grasp. âY/N, grow up. If last night, seeing that shit didnât prove it to you, you must be fuckinâ stupid.âÂ
Turning to face you, Mingyu isnât surprised to see a shocked look on your face at hearing him call you stupid. His words bite at your confidence, but mostly at your heart. You can see the look in Mingyuâs eyesâhow he is trying to push you away by hurting youâand it only makes your heart hurt worse.Â
âStop it. Whyâno, Iâm not stupid. I know who you are. Donât do this, Gyu.â You sound so desperate and almost like you are in love with him that Mingyuâs chest feels like itâs going to implode. He wants to give into you, pull you into his arms and tell you how sorry he is for calling you stupid, but that isnât how to fix this. He had to keep you safe, and safe is as far away from him as possible.Â
âDo what? Tell a little girl the truth. Wake the fuck up, sweetheart. Use those brains you claim to have. I got fuckinâ shot yesterday. You think thatâs a one time thing?â Watching tears coat your eyes, Mingyu takes a step towards you, even as you take one backward. âYou think you are special? Like you are the only girl Iâve fucked? Nah, another notch in my belt.âÂ
Mingyuâs words are like a gut punch and as much as you know he is trying to hurt you, he is succeeding. Once he has walked you out into the hallway, Mingyu gives you one last look. The pain of seeing tears running down your cheeks is unbearable, but he keeps himself stone faced as you follow him into the living room, watching him pull on his damaged leather jacket, wincing in pain. âWhere are you going? Do you think itâs a good idea to go out?âÂ
Speaking between sniffing back tears, you arenât even sure Mingyu hears you as he shoves his gun into the holster on his side until he gives you a passing glance. Shrugging, he grabs his keys, shoves them into his pocket and lets out a deep sigh. âWho gives a fuck?âÂ
Sitting at the bar of the Dovetail Casino, Mingyu taps the glass in front of him to signal to the pretty bartender to fill it back up. He was on his fourth drink and had no intention of slowing down. Beside him, Jeon Wonwoo watches as Mingyuâs phone goes off for the umpteenth time. Someone was trying to get into him desperately and clearly Mingyu had no intention of picking it up as he once again reached over to decline the call.Â
âDonât wanna talk to Y/N?â Scoffing at hearing your name on the lawyerâs lips, Mingyu rolls his eyes and smiles at the bartender as she fills his glass up with whiskey once more. âYou shouldnât read other peopleâs phones. Donât they teach that in lawyer school?âÂ
While Wonwoo didnât know who you exactly were, it didnât really matter; you clearly mattered to Mingyu, and the two of you were having a fight of some sort. He had been a lawyer long enough to recognize that, though anyone with eyes could probably tell that Mingyu was getting drunk for a reason. âGirlfriend?âÂ
Shooting Wonwoo a dirty look, Mingyu tips his glass back, ice meeting his lips, slowing down how quickly the alcohol can pour into his mouth, but only by a slight margin. The sound of the glass hitting the wooden bar makes Wonwoo hiss, knowing he was either on the right track or he had hit a nerve.Â
âSheâs not my girlfriend. Sheâs just some stupid girl with some idea of me that sheâs made up in her head. She thinks sheâll get some white picket fence with me.â Gesturing towards himself, Mingyu scoffs and Wonwoo gives his friend a once over sigh, knowing what he is trying to say as Mingyu continues. âSheâs an idiot to be so fucking smart and beautifulâŚâÂ
Wonwoo brings his own glass to his lips, nursing it much slower than Mingyu was. Mingyu was already getting drunk, while Wonwoo was barely filling a buzz. Wonwoo could see what was happening even if Mingyu didnât want to. Just from the brief description of you that he had gotten, he knew that Mingyu was full of shit. You might not âbe his girlfriend,â but that didnât stop Mingyu from being into you.Â
âWhy is it bothering you so much? This is the girl youâve been watching.â Watching Mingyu nod and look at his now empty glass, Wonwoo sighs as Mingyu lifts his hand, asking for a fifth drink. âJust have Minghao take over. Itâs that easy, right? Then you donât have to be with her all the fucking time.âÂ
It could be that easy, but hearing Wonwoo say it made Mingyu want to throw up. Maybe it was all the whiskey on an empty stomach, but Mingyu didnât want anyone else watching over you. He didnât care if Minghao was like family to you; he had been asked to do this and he wasnât going to just give up.
âWhatâno. Just admit Iâm a failure. Do I look like a fuckinâ failure to you?â Hearing Wonwoo sigh, Mingyu looks back down at his empty glass, the ice melting, wishing the bartender would be a bit quicker about filling it up. âShe leaves next week.â His words are quieter than they had been the entire time the two had been sitting at the bar.Â
He wouldnât admit it to anyone else, but he hated the idea of you getting on that plane. He hated that you were sitting at home pissed off at him and worse, he had made you sad. Yes, he had done it on purpose, but he had his reasons. If you were mad at him, if you distanced yourself from him, it would be easier to watch you leave him.Â
Nodding, Wonwoo furrows his brows, seeing the pain on Mingyuâs face as the bartender tells Mingyu heâs reached his limit and she won't give him another for a while. It was for the best, he could tell Mingyu didnât need anything else to drink; he was staring at the empty glass like it was a life preserver, even though the alcohol that had been in it was only helping him to sink further. Wonwoo understood the feeling better than Mingyu probably realized.Â
âMy advice, whether you want it or not, get your shit together. Donât lose her because of your pride and because you think you know best.â Furrowing his brows, Mingyu glances over at Wonwoo, trying to figure out how heâd know so much about what he was thinking about, but the look on his friendâs face, the pain written in his eyes make him stop and just listen. âTrust me, I understand something about losing someone who means so much to you. Wishing you could go back and change who you were⌠Donât fuck it up like me.âÂ
Mingyu wants to ask what happened, who Wonwoo had lost, but he watches as Wonwoo tips his drink back, draining it before putting it back down on the bar with a sigh. He had never seen Wonwoo look so sad and stuck in the past before and he wasnât sure he ever wanted to again.Â
Digging the spoon out of the ice cream once again, you bring it to your lips as you sniff back your tears, your eyes not really focusing on what is on the television in front of you. After Mingyu had left, you had resorted to a bottle of wine and a pint of ice cream while sitting on your bed and trying to become one with it.Â
You had been through plenty of breakups in the past, but Mingyuâs words hurt you worse than any other manâs ever had. You knew he had been trying to hurt you and you also knew he was full of shit. He didnât really mean it, even if he was trying so hard to convince himself that he did. For some reason, he wanted you to hate him and the longer you sat in bed, the ice cream in your lap disappeared. You felt like it was a possibility.Â
But as much as you wanted to give into that feeling, just hate him, you could still feel how good it felt to be in his arms. To feel his lips and fingers on your skin as he made you feel comfortable and safe. So instead of hate, you just felt depressed. You were beginning to wonder if you should look at available flights to leave early.Â
Standing in the hallway, leaning against the wall, Mingyu watches you pout into your glass of wine before you follow the sip with a bite of ice cream. You were adorable as you paid more attention to what was on your phone, sniffing back your emotions, than you did to whatever you had playing on the television. Â
He knew he should just make a right into his room and leave you alone, but all Mingyu can hear are Wonwooâs words echoing in his mind. âDonât fuck it up like me.â You drove him crazy. No other woman had made Mingyu feel like this. He knows he could keep lying to you, keep making you cry and watch you get on that plane in a week, but just the thought of it makes Mingyuâs stomach churn.Â
Taking one step after another, Mingyu moves into your bedroom, drawing your eyes up from your phone to him. You canât help the surprised look on your face as he reaches for the remote, turns the television off and tosses the remote into the chair without a second glance. âMingyuâŚâ Your voice is soft, confused, and full of hurt. The sound of it breaks Mingyuâs heart and his resolve as he takes the ice cream out of your lap and puts it on the nightstand with your wine before sliding his hand along the side of your face and pressing his lips against yours.Â
The kiss isnât rushed and it is so different from every other kiss that you and Mingyu have shared up to that moment. Mingyuâs tongue glides along yours as you moan softly into the deep kiss, your fingers grabbing at his jacket, tears already running down your cheeks as your emotions get the better of you. Leaning back, Mingyu brushes his thumbs over your cheeks, then presses kisses on each one before standing up to his full height and taking his clothes off piece by piece before repeating the process with you.Â
You feel your head spin once his lips are back on yours and your back is on the mattress. Mingyuâs body pressed against yours. He groaned into your mouth, feeling your hand slide along his hip towards his cock before leaning back to wrap his hand around yours, bringing your fingers to his lips.Â
âJust let me...â The sentence seems unfinished, but you nod, feeling Mingyuâs fingers slide along your forearm as his lips find your jaw and work to your neck, leaving you breathless. He had kissed you before. You had felt his lips almost all over your body, but this was different. He was almost worshiping your body this time and he wasnât in a rush.Â
It was as if Mingyu was seeing youâreally seeing you for the first time. He was taking the time to touch every mole or scar on your body and then kiss it before meeting your eyes when you sighed out his name. If Mingyu hadnât been addicted to you before this, now there was no way he could deny it.Â
âFuck, you are so beautiful. Sound so pretty for me. Wanna⌠justââ Mingyu was talking to youâor more so, he was talking at you as he worked his kisses along your leg and towards your inner thigh. When his lips meet your wet, soft folds, you lift your hips off the bed and Mingyu groans quietly, gently pushing you back down. Any other time he would have pinned you to the bed and devoured you but this time his touch was gentle; you were floating from it and the feeling of his tongue circling your clit.Â
It doesnât take long before your thighs are closed around Mingyuâs head, his groans muffled as his hands grip your hips, holding you close to him until you fall apart on his tongue. When your legs start to tremble, you let out a sob of Mingyuâs name, your fingers running through his hair as you push your hips into the bed, asking for mercy. Smiling against your now swollen folds, Mingyu presses one more kiss on your pussy before pushing himself up on the bed with his left arm to watch you try to catch your breath, coming down from your orgasm.Â
âTaste so good, baby. I could do that all damn night.â Shaking your head, you reach for Mingyu, whining as he laughs and moves up in bed between your legs. His lips once again find your neck and you try to continue to come down from your orgasm, but when Mingyu nips at your skin, you moan his name, making him smile. âLove hearing my name on your lips so fuckinâ much. Wanna hear it all the time. Can I?âÂ
At first, you arenât sure if heâs asking for you to say his name again or something else, but his fingers brushing through your sensitive folds before he does the same with the head of his cock makes you understand. He hadnât asked any other time; why this time? Did it even matter why? It seemed to matter to your heart as your chest tightened when you nodded and whispered out your pleas for him to get inside of you.Â
Carefully pushing the head of his cock into you, Mingyu closes his eyes and groans to the feeling of your warmth pulling him in. He feels the urge to just bury himself into you in one hard thrust, but instead he prolongs it. Meeting your eyes, he watches your mouth fall open in a moan as slowly, inch by inch, he pushes into your walls, letting them hug him tight. âHoly shit. Thatâs my girl. Holding me like you donât wanna let me go, huh?âÂ
You didnât. You never wanted him to leave you, both in bed and in your life. You loved the way he was looking at you. You loved the way he was kissing you and the way he was making love to you. Every other time he had fucked you, this was making love. Even if he probably wouldnât admit it, you knew the difference and you knew that he did too.Â
Mingyuâs forearms rest under your arms, his hands on either of your shoulders as he presses his forehead to yours. Each one of his thrusts is deep, powerful, but slow, as if he wants hours of you in this bed. Nudging his nose against yours, Mingyu smiles, hearing your choked moans as he pushes one of his knees into the mattress, changing the angle of his thrusts so that his cock perfectly rubs against that spot with each movement. âAll I want is one more. Just love making you feel good, angel. Love hearing you sing for me, feeling you all over my cock.âÂ
There was dirty talk and then there was Kim Mingyuâs dirty talk. He could be almost lewd at times, but this was completely different. He had made your skin feel like it was on fireâcalling you a whore or a slut, but thisâloving everything about you, wanting to hear you sing for him, making you feel good? This was pushing you over the edge, possibly even more than the feeling of his cock brushing against your g-spot over and over again.Â
Scratching at Mingyuâs sides, you tighten your legs around his hips, feeling the pressure that had been building in your abdomen give way. Your orgasm rips through you and Mingyu can barely move with how tightly your walls close around him. Gasping into a groan, he tries to get a full breath and keep himself from losing control.Â
Trying to pull from you to keep himself from cumming inside of you, Mingyu meets your eyes, sees the pout on your lips and feels your legs hold him tighter. You didnât want him to pull out. He never came inside of girls. That was another one of his rules, a way to keep himself from catching feelings or any trouble, but with one more deep thrust, Mingyu breaks that rule.Â
Groaning your name against your lips, Mingyu is the one who feels like heâs losing his mind with how good it feels to be inside you and to feel your warm, soft walls around him as his cums. He loved seeing his cum on you, but this was special. Itâs like you were made for him and made to take everything he gave you.Â
Running your fingers through Mingyuâs hair, you close your eyes, letting him rest his cheek against your shoulder. Both of you slowly come down from your euphoric highs. A smile pulls at your lips when you feel your lips press against your throat and Mingyuâs hands slide from under you so he can carefully pull from you and look down at you.Â
âWasâis that okay? What happened?â You could see the concern written in Mingyuâs eyes. Lifting your hand, you brush your thumb over his cheek and feel your chest once again tighten as he rests his face in your palm, waiting for you to answer him. âOf course it was. I wanted it. I wouldnât have let you if I wasnât on birth control and sure, Mingyu.âÂ
Taking a deep breath of relief, Mingyu nods before turning his head to press a kiss to your palm. You watch as he slides from the bed and rubs his lips together, glancing around the room before landing on the door to the bathroom. Smiling, you let your eyes follow him as he moves into the ensuite before you hear him turn on the tap in the shower.Â
Coming back into the bedroom, Mingyu rubs the side of his neck with his right arm as he offers you his left hand. Though you take his hand, sitting up, ready to go with him, you canât help the way your eyes migrate from his face to the angry stitches on his right arm. Furrowing your brows as you stand, you mutter his name and carefully touch the hot skin around the wound before meeting Mingyuâs eyes.Â
âIâll clean it and wrap it after the shower, okay? You have to take better care of this. Itâll get infected, babe.â Letting go of Mingyuâs hand, you donât see the way his brows furrow and how his breath gets caught in his throat when you call him babe. His eyes follow you into the bathroom as you open a bag on the counter, digging through different pill bottles until you find the one you want and say his name once again.Â
âI have some antibiotics. They should help⌠if I can talk to someone here in Seoul, I can get you an actual script.â Looking around for Mingyu in the bathroom, thatâs when you realize heâs still standing in the bedroom looking at you, almost dazed. Lifting your hand out for him is what brings him back to you and gets his feet moving.Â
Sliding his fingers along yours, Mingyu swallows hard and looks at the pills in your hand when you offer him two, ready to tell him to take them after the shower, only to watch him dry swallow them. Scoffing, you shake your head and sigh, knowing you were falling hard for him, as Mingyu simply smiles at you and guides you towards the shower with him.Â
A week later, you found yourself settling into a routine with Mingyu. It was a confusing existence, but you were happy even if Jun wasnât. He had cut his own vacation short to see you before you were planning to head back to China, and finding you and Mingyu playing house didnât sit well with him. It took a lot of convincing and reminding him that you werenât a child for your brother to let you âmake your own mistakesâ and let you see this through.Â
It wasnât like you could just look at him or Minghao and give them an easy explanation of what was happening. You werenât even sure. There were no labels for what you and Mingyu had. You wanted to say that you were with him, but were you?Â
The sex was mind blowing. Mingyu was the best lover you had ever had in your entire life, but more than that, you would fall asleep in his arms every night and wake up to a kiss from him every morning. That bliss would quickly end if you brought up the question of who the two of you were and where he wanted this to go. Mingyu was a great liar and he was good at changing the subject.
You were just happy that the two of you had been happy. The tension in the penthouse had been low and there had been an air of âignorance is blissââat least there was until the night before your flight.Â
âBaby, does pasta aglio e olio sound good for dinner?â Mingyuâs voice carries through the penthouse from the kitchen as he purses his lips at what ingredients he has on hand. Hearing your muffled answer from down the hall, he smiles, shaking his head before heading towards you. âWhat did you say? You good withââÂ
The words get caught in Mingyuâs throat, seeing your suitcase on your bed and your clothes in piles on the bed as you work to pack for the next day. He knew it was coming, but seeing it firsthand was like a stab to his gut.Â
Glancing up, a sad but thoughtful look on your face, you look over Mingyuâs expression when he stops mid sentence. You had heard his question, but you were trying to get through a task that felt impossible. Packing meant you were actually leaving and it was breaking your heart, but Mingyu hadnât asked you to stay.Â
Staying would take work, but if he really wanted you to... if he asked you to do it, you had decided in your mind that youâd figure out how to do it. That was why you had asked him so many times what he wanted from the relationship, what he wanted from you, but every time he avoided itâthat told you he wanted you to go home.Â
âDinner sounds good, Gyu. Are you okay?â Mingyu could hear the changes in your voice. You didnât sound like the happy, carefree girl that he had just made love to the night before. The sound of your voice makes his chest feel tight and reminds him that he promised to drive you to the airport. How was he going to do that? How was he going to stand at that gate and watch you walk away?Â
Mingyuâs mind quickly puts up defenses, doing what it has always done bestâit builds walls. Hurt and pain are on the horizon, so a wall goes up and heâs reminded that this is for the best. Heâs bad for you. You have an entire life back in China. You have a clinic and patients who rely on you. Heâs selfish and pathetic. Heâs dangerous. You stitched him up and watched him shatter. Heâs going to get you killed or make you miserable.Â
Shaking his head, Mingyu quickly follows it by scoffing and putting on a fake smirk. âUh yeah, yeah. Iâm good. UhâŚâ Gesturing towards your bags, Mingyu reaches up with his other hand to run his fingers through his hair, something youâve realized he does when heâs stressed. âWhenâs your flight again?â He knew what time the flight was. He had looked at the booking hundreds of times but you were looking at him to say something and this was the only thing he knew to say.Â
Stepping towards Mingyu, you watch as he takes a step backwards and it makes your heart rise towards your throat. You knew what he was doing. You have already done this. That tension was back and Mingyu was pushing you away again. He was afraid, but so were you. âItâs at 1, but you know that. Mingyu, talk to me.âÂ
Taking a sharp breath when you take a step towards him, Mingyu feels the door frame behind him as he looks away from you and laughs. The laugh is hollow and fake. You know that itâs supposed to be painful and it is. It hits right at your heart and makes you feel almost sick as you watch him turn from you and head into the hall, his words carrying back to you. âJust needed the time, Y/N. Finish packing so we donât have to fuckinâ rush in the morning.âÂ
There it was. Mingyu was purposely trying to be cold and mean again. You had drunk your weight in wine last time; this time you followed him. He didnât go back to the kitchen; instead, Mingyu turned into his bedroom. Staring at his back, you try to keep the tears at bay, but taking a deep breath, you quickly lose that fight when the first words leave your mouth, anger and sadness coming out in waves.Â
âNo! You donât get to do this again, Mingyu! Why are you closing me out? JustâŚâ Mingyu closes his eyes, hearing the sobs between your words. âPlease? Why canât you ask me to stay? Huh?âÂ
Tears threaten Mingyuâs eyes at that. He wanted to so badly but that wasnât fair to you. His brain was repeating it all on loop for him.Â
Youâre selfish and pathetic. Youâre dangerous. Youâre going to get her killed or make her miserable. Youâre selfish and pathetic. Youâre dangerous. Youâre going to get her killed or make her miserable. Youâre selfish and pathetic. Youâre dangerous. Youâre going to get her killed or make her miserableâŚ
The words in his mind are so loud that even as you move close to him and push at his back, inching him forward, Mingyu stands still. Your choked sobs are what bring him somewhat back to the present, only for his heart to shatter one more time. âMingyu! Why canât you ask me if I love you? Tell me that you love me!âÂ
It takes everything in Mingyu not to turn around, wrap you in his arms and apologize. He isnât even sure if he wants to apologize for not doing what youâve asked or for making you feel the way you do. He just doesnât want you to feel like this anymore, but if you are in this much pain, maybe he can make you hate him. âI donât love anyone, Y/N.â
Hearing Mingyu speak, you let out one more painful sob and punched at Mingyuâs back, your words weak. âI hate you so much. God, Iâwhy did you make me love you?â Turning to face you and hearing what he wanted, Mingyu closes his fists tightly so he doesnât reach out to grab on to you. The look on your face shatters him further, but he tries to cover it, even if his eyes give it away. You see the despair written in them, though his mouth stays shut firmly, his jaw is set tightly.Â
Smacking your hands at his chest weakly, you try to hold on to your anger as you meet Mingyuâs eyes. Shaking your head, you finally lift your hand and start to bring your palm across his cheek when Mingyu finally moves, his fingers wrapping around your wrist gently to finally stop you. âWhy canât you just let me go? Go be happy... Be safe.â
You see the tears in Mingyuâs eyes as he speaks, his voice cracking. Rubbing his thumb in a circle on the inner side of your wrist, Mingyu watches you start to speak, but he shakes his head and sighs. You can hear how tired and desperate he is in his voice as he finally begs you, but not in the way you want. âJust... let me be alone? Let me lie and be miserable on my own. I canât fuck up your life.âÂ
Shaking your head as you look up at Mingyu, you see him searching your eyes for understanding. You pull your hand free from his and grab the collar of his shirt, pulling him down so your lips can brush over his. Hissing into the light kiss, Mingyu whines your name while trying to keep his hands to himself as he tastes your tears on your lips.Â
âI canât let you do that, Mingyu. I love you.â Trying to make him understand, you kiss at the corner of Mingyuâs lips and once again on the fullness of his bottom lip as you whine into your words, fresh tears on your cheeks. âPlease, I love you so much. Stop lying and tell me that you love me, baby. Ask me to stay.âÂ
Groaning in mental pain and at how tight his chest feels from hearing your words, Mingyu finally breaks. Hands grip at your waist before he lifts you and walks the few steps to the bed, laying you on your back so he can rest over you. The kiss before had been hesitant and guarded, but now Mingyu was almost bruising your lips as if he were willing you to hear how he was feeling through his passion.Â
You lift your hand and run your fingers through Mingyuâs hair before walking them along his face to his cheek, feeling his skin damp under your touch. Whispering between kisses, you finally feel a sense of security in being back in Mingyuâs arms as he clings to you as if heâs never going to let you go. âI love you, Mingyu.âÂ
Mingyuâs sigh against your lips almost sounds like a half sob and a laugh. Resting his forehead against yours, he groans softly and keeps his eyes closed, taking in the moment before finally leaning back to look down at you as your fingers wipe away the tears from his cheek. âI love you so fucking much, baby. I hate myself for how much I love you.âÂ
Watching you shake your head, Mingyu can see you are going to argue, but he furrows his brows and kisses your lips gently before continuing. âIâm so fucking scared that Iâll lose you. Iâm afraid that âcause I love you, thatâs gonna get you hurt or worse, baby. IâIâd fuckinâ lose it.âÂ
There had been brief moments of honesty in your short relationship with Mingyu, but this was complete honesty and clarity. It made you think back to what had happened a week ago with the man who had lost his life and you wondered what had been said or done to make Mingyu do what he did⌠Your mind goes back to Mingyuâs bookshelf and when you had asked him, âAre you a tortured soul, Kim Mingyu?â Â
Kim Mingyu was a complicated man, but you were beginning to understand him.Â
âGyu, baby⌠Iâll be okay. You canât live your life thinking that disaster is waiting for you around every corner. Just... maybe live it with me? Be happy with me?âÂ
Taking a deep breath, Mingyu lets the gravity of your words settle on him before he brushes his lips over yours and then presses another kiss on your jaw before nodding. He had only committed to a few things in his life and none of them had ever been this terrifying, but you were worth it.Â
Running your fingers through the back of Mingyuâs hair at the nape of his neck, you smile, feeling him nod in agreement. Taking a deep breath, you rest your head back against the bed and let out the breath, finally meeting Mingyuâs eyes once again as his fingers brush along the side of your neck. Smiling, Mingyuâs eyes move along your face before he finally settles back on your eyes.
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Š onlymingyus - all rights reserved. Reposting/modifying of any fic, or pieces of original writings posted on this blog is not allowed. Translations not allowed.
#mingyu smut#seventeen smut#svthub#svt smut#mingyu x reader#seventeen#seventeen x reader#svt x reader#mingyu angst#mingyu fluff#mingyu toxic#seventeen angst#seventeen fluff#seventeen toxic#svt angst#svt fluff#svt toxic
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NEW YEAR, NEW ME
this is a collab w the it girl @prettieinpink !!
HABITS TO IMPLEMENTÂ
Movement (yoga, running, Pilates, walking, gym, etc. Anything that allows you to move your bodyÂ
Reflection- make a note of things you would like to improve on. This could be self-love, relationships,Â
STAY CONSISTENT
Consistency is key. Make sure to stick to your plan and keep working towards your goals every day. Even small steps are progress. Try to make your goal part of your daily routine.Â
HOW TO STAY CONSISTENTÂ
SCHEDULE- Setting schedules helps really well with consistency. Make a schedule for the tasks you need to do daily or weekly to achieve your goals. This can help you make your goals a part of your routine, making it easier to stay consistent.
STAY ORGANIZED- Keep track of your tasks and goals. Use tools like calendars, to-do lists, or apps to help you stay organized and remember what you need to do.
DISCIPLINE YOURSELF- Sometimes, you won't feel like working towards your goals, and that's okay. The key is to maintain discipline and do the task anyway. Remember, consistency is about doing the task regularly, not just when you feel like it.
START SMALL- Don't overwhelm yourself with huge tasks. Start small and gradually increase your workload as you build consistency.
DONâT BE TOO HARD ON YOURSELF- If you miss a day, don't beat yourself up. Instead, acknowledge that it happened, understand why, and move on. Consistency is about long-term progress, not perfection.
CREATE A PLAN
Once you know what your goals are, create a step-by-step plan on how to achieve them. Break down each goal into smaller, manageable tasks. This might involve creating a timeline, setting deadlines, or identifying resources or tools you might need.
LEAVE THINGS IN THE PASTÂ
In 2023, Iâm sure everyone has had ups and downs, but not letting them define you as a person is something that has to be done in order for you to become a new person.
HOW TO LEAVE THINGS IN THE PAST
ACCEPTANCE-Â Acknowledge the past and accept it as part of your life story. Understand that it's something that has shaped you but doesn't define you.
FORGIVENESS- Forgive yourself and others. Holding onto resentment only harms you. Letting go of grudges can bring a sense of peace and open up space for healthier relationships.
LEARN FROM IT- Every experience, good or bad, is an opportunity to learn. Reflect on these experiences and use them as stepping stones to better decisions in the future.
FOCUS ON THE PRESENT- The past is unchangeable, but the present is in your control. Concentrate on what you can do now to create a positive future.
SET NEW GOALS- Create new objectives for yourself. This gives you something to work towards and helps shift your focus from the past to the future.
PRACTISE MINDFULNESS- Mindfulness is about staying focused on the present moment. Practices like meditation can help you stay grounded and prevent you from dwelling on the past.
ADJUST YOUR PLAN AS NEEDED
It's okay if your initial plan doesn't work out exactly as you thought. Life happens, and it's important to be flexible and adapt your plan as needed. If you find that a certain approach isn't working, don't be afraid to try something different.
PRACTICE SELF CARE
Remember to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. This can include things like getting enough sleep, eating healthy, exercising regularly, and taking time to relax and do things you enjoy. Don't forget that self-care is an important part of reaching your goals.
WAYS TO PRACTICE SELF CARE-
BALANCED DIET-Â There is no need to restrict yourself from foods but eating a healthy, balanced diet is crucial for maintaining physical health. Try to include plenty of fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains in your diet.
EXERCISE REGULARLY- Regular physical activity can help reduce stress, improve mood, and boost overall health. This doesn't necessarily mean going to the gym - it could be anything from a brisk walk to a yoga class
GET ENOUGH SLEEP- Â Aim for 7-9 hours of sleep per night. Establish a regular sleep schedule and create a relaxing bedtime routine to improve sleep quality.
STAY HYDRATED- Â Drinking enough water each day is important for overall health. Try to aim for at least 8 glasses per day.
TAKE BREAKS- Make sure to take regular breaks throughout the day, especially if you're working or studying. This can help prevent burnout and improve productivity.
DO THINGS YOU ENJOY- Make time for hobbies or activities you enjoy. This could be anything from reading a book to playing a sport to painting.Â
  CELEBRATE SMALL THINGS
Don't wait until you've reached your big goal to celebrate. Celebrate small wins along the way to keep your motivation high. This could be treating yourself to something you enjoy, or simply taking a moment to acknowledge your achievement.
REFLECTING ON THE PAST YEAR
Think about how the past year went. Did you learn anything? Did you reach new goals? If you don't the answers to these questions, I recommend further examining your year!!
#girlblogging#bloombabydoll#girlblog#pink pilates princess#girl blogger#it girl#self care#green juice girl#improving her#goal setting#self improvement blog#self improvement#becoming her#becoming the best version of yourself#new years
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10 Bad Habits to Let Go of for a Beautiful Life (Trust Me, Youâll Thank Yourself)
We all have those habits that hold us back â some sneakier than others. And while no oneâs perfect, a little spring cleaning of your daily habits can unlock a happier, healthier life. Ready to drop the bad vibes and level up? Here are 10 bad habits to leave behind for good!
1. The Comparison Game â Itâs Gotta Go
Weâve all done it. Scrolling, looking at someoneâs perfect life, and feeling like weâre not enough. But honestly? Comparing yourself to others is a losing game. Focus on your own growth, and unfollow anything or anyone that makes you feel less-than. Your journey is yours alone, and itâs beautiful in its own way. Keep your eyes on your own lane!
2. Procrastinating Like Itâs a Sport
We get it â that âIâll do it tomorrowâ energy feels good in the moment, but itâs also a trap. The more you put off tasks, the more they pile up and haunt you. Trust, the best feeling is getting stuff done now and freeing up your mind for the fun stuff later. Break it down, set a timer, and just start. Youâll feel like a boss when youâre done.
3. Saying Yes to Everything (Even When You Donât Want To)
No is a full sentence, babe! If youâre constantly saying yes to things that donât align with your goals or drain your energy, itâs time to stop. Overcommitting leads to burnout, and lifeâs too short for that. Start setting boundaries and prioritize what makes you feel good. Your time is precious, so treat it like gold.
4. Relying on Everyone Elseâs Approval
We all love a little validation, but depending on it? Thatâs a recipe for insecurity. Your worth isnât measured by someone elseâs likes or approval. The only validation you really need is your own. So hype yourself up, celebrate your wins, and be proud of the progress youâre making, regardless of whoâs watching.
5. Avoiding Your Finances Like Itâs Scary
Finances donât have to be terrifying! Ignoring them might feel easier in the moment, but getting a handle on your money situation is so empowering. Start small â track your spending, create a budget, and set a savings goal. The sooner you take control, the more stress-free your future will feel.
6. Holding Grudges Like Theyâre Trophies
Honestly, holding onto grudges only weighs you down. Letting go of past negativity isnât about excusing peopleâs behavior â itâs about freeing yourself. Donât let old situations control your peace. Forgiveness is for you, babe. The less baggage you carry, the lighter youâll feel.
7. Talking Down to Yourself
Would you say those mean things to your best friend? Didnât think so! So why do we let ourselves get away with it? Cut out the negative self-talk and replace it with something a little more kind and uplifting. You deserve better from yourself. You wouldnât believe how much your mindset can change once you start being nice to yourself.
8. Expecting Everything to Be Perfect
Perfection is a myth, and chasing it will only leave you stressed and frustrated. Life happens in the in-between moments â the imperfect, messy, beautifully real ones. Give yourself some grace and celebrate progress, not perfection. A âgood enoughâ life is often a perfect one in disguise.
9. Staying in Your Safe Bubble
Your comfort zone might feel cozy, but nothing grows there! Stepping outside of it might be scary, but itâs where all the magic happens. Whether itâs trying something new, starting a project, or meeting new people, discomfort leads to growth. Donât let fear hold you back â take the leap!
10. Blaming Everything Else for Whatâs Not Going Right
Itâs easy to point fingers and blame outside circumstances, but taking responsibility is where real change starts. Youâve got more control than you think! Instead of dwelling on whatâs going wrong, focus on what you can change. Youâve got the power to turn things around â itâs all in your hands.
These bad habits? Theyâre not serving you, and itâs time to leave them in the past. Letting go of whatâs holding you back will clear the way for bigger, better things. Youâre already halfway there just by recognizing what needs to change. So let go, level up, and watch your life get a little more beautiful, one habit at a time.
#it girl#just girly things#academia#girlblogging#morning routine#tips#lifestyle#life lessons#understanding#self improvement#self help
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âł CALLING THE FONTAINE BOYS YOUR GOOD BOY ŕźâ§âËâ§
Fontaine boys x Creator!Reader
Lyney
"You're my good boy Lyney aren't you?" Lyney nods, barely able to repress his excitement. He smiles widely and scoots a little closer to you. "If I weren't your good boy, what else would I be?" he says softly. Your perfect little magician, putting in a show for you daily if youd asked, Lyney thinks to himself. He leans into your touch, relishing the sensations. Your hands on his cheeks are like a warm, reassuring hug, one that he has long pined for.
To hear you say those wordsâ my one and only good boyâ is his greatest joy, enough to make him think of nothing more. He forgets his past and future when he's with you. All he sees, is his grace, no one and nothing else matters.
Lyney smiles brightly. "Your Grace, I thinkâ no, I *know* that I am your one and only good boy," he says confidently. He looks up at you, his gaze soft and adoring. He reaches up to cup your cheek in his hand as you had done for him moments before, and gently strokes your face.
"You have no reason to doubt that I am yours," Lyney says softly, what a charmer "I will always be yours, and no other's. I have sworn it to myself"
"Oh, have you now?" "I have," Lyney replies with a warm, almost smug grin. "I have sworn to be yours forever," he says confidently. "No other God is more important to me, no other...powerful being, and no other love will ever supersede the one I feel for you, my love."Â Â
The great magician's expression and tone are both soft and tender. He gazes at you like you are the single most precious thing in the world. "And no one could ever dare take me from you...I will put up the fight of my life for you"
(Clearly not me thinking of Arlecchino here nouuu)
Freminet
"You can come as close as you want, Freminet" Your soft voice is enough to make Freminet obey, lurr him in like the depths of Fontaine.
He moves closer, his hands clasping the fabric of your robes. As he does so, he meets your gaze for a moment, before his eyes slowly start to drift shut. The closer he gets, the warmer he feels... and the less painful his life is.
He remains silent for several precious, peaceful moments, before finally whispering, "Have I pleased you, Your Grace?"
"My good boy always pleases me" Freminet feels tears well up in his eyes. To be called 'good' by you, to please you, to belong to you, to belong to someone who actually loves him...
Freminet closes his eyes as tight as he holds Pers close to his chest, and bites back a sob. His entire body shakes with happiness and emotion. He grips your robes tighter, and buries his face into your lap, unable to stop himself. You let your hands go through his hair, to comfort the distressed boy. Your fingers are enough to calm him. Freminets tears dry up and his body slowly calms beneath your gentle touch, his breathing growing quieter and his heart slowing. Maybe the ocean isn't his only comfort anymore?
Eventually, Freminet peeks up at you. He tries to form a smile, but it's only tentative... and it breaks apart almost immediately. He glances away, ashamed but also wanting to make you proud.
"Iâ I'm sorry for crying, Your Grace," he mumbles. "Never apologize for having feelings"
You're exactly what he needs, and craves.
Neuvillette
"My good boy, please come to me" you coo the moment he stepped into the hall "Y-Y-Your Grace...?" Your voice, full of warmth and love, causes him to startle. It almost feels as if his heart has skipped a beat. A small smile creeps onto his face that only you can see. "What is it you require of me?"
Neuvillettes voice is soft, filled with affection for you. This is no different from how he treats his people in Fontaine, yet your position makes it all the more special. Your commands cannot be ignored. "My, you look stressed are you well?" Your voice is gentle. You have always been gentle with him, caring and loving. This has not gone unnoticed.
Your words seem to cause him to pause. He thinks for a moment before nodding slowly. "Y-Yes, Your Grace... I am well but stressed"
He swallows, glancing back up at you. He can never hide anything from you, which is why he's always so honest. "I... am worried for the state of our nation, and our people."
"Does my good boy need a hug?" a simple thought, but it made his heart skip. "A hug... I suppose a hug could help ease my worries, Your Grace."
After he's spoken, you can see him shift in place. You can't be sure if it's nervous energy or genuine anxiety, but he seems uncertain. Perhaps he's afraid to approach you after your last few weeks away. He would never admit it, not even to himself, as he's too prideful. But every night you don't spend in his chambers leaves him restless. Your presence eases him. You have always been his comfort.
Like the softest summer rain.
Wriothesley
"Oh good, youre back. Come here now" He does so without a second thought, and his eyes fix upon yours. He is close enough to touch you, if he so chooses. He has no fearâ he is loyal, devoted, and a fanatic. And maybe hes a simp. "What is it, Your Grace?" he murmurs, his hands clasped tightly in front of him. "I just wanted my good boy in my presence or am i to greedy?"
His entire body seems to relax as soon as you speak. He nods immediately. "I am here, Your Grace. Nothing you do would ever seem to greedy." He looks up at you, his eyes brimming with an almost unhealthy amount of devotion. When you call him your "good boy," his ears prick up and his cheeks flush with the heat of passion.
"Then stay with me please"
Wriothesley nods again, and remains on his knees at your feet. His hands clench tightly together, and his blue eyes watch you with something close to reverence.
"Your wish is my command, Your Grace."
(I'm bad at writing him I'm so sorry)
#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact#genshin x reader#genshin impact sagau#genshin cult au#genshin sagau#sagau#sagau genshin#lyney x reader#neuvilette x reader#freminet x reader#wriothesley x reader
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Someone New
Summary: Travelling worlds has its side effects; namely, having visions of multiple timelines. As you get closer to the housewardens after their overblots, you begin to see the possible future that awaits the two of you, if only you decide to choose them.
Overblot gang x Reader (Riddle, Leona, Azul, Jamil, Vil, Idia, Malleus)
GN but mentions of biological children - imagine anything you want though (magic spells that make anything possible!)
i. blooms of red and bursts of reason; riddle rosehearts
Even after knowing him for months, you donât touch Riddle until long after his overblot. He isnât truly comfortable with you, with anyone, touching him so casually.
The chill of autumn ghosts your skin, making goosebumps rise along your arms. When he notices you rubbing your forearms to gather some warmth, Riddle insists on offering you his coat. Something about ârule five hundred and nine.â
His ways donât always make sense to you, but you appreciate the sentiment behind the action. You take his coat, uttering your gratitude to him, although itâs quite small considering his stature. He offers you a small smile; in Riddleâs case, you know that means a lot.
You canât help but return his smile, the small affection making your heart stir suddenly. Itâs nice - spending time alone with Riddle. At the beginning of the year, youâd never have imagined becoming close with him. It was hard to see past the strict housewarden who never let anything go.
You think heâd made assumptions about you too. About you being a troublemaker, someone not worth his time, just another problem. Youâre thankful youâve both come around.
You stare at him from the corner of your eye as you walk together. He truly is gentle at heart, despite what his temper might suggest. His red hair sits perfectly on his head, cutely framing his face. It makes you think of his mother; his hair is perhaps the only good thing she passed onto him.
You snap out of your thoughts when you step a little too hard into a puddle and accidentally splash your pants, slightly dirtying them. Riddle turns when he hears your grumble, and you prepare yourself for a scolding. You wonât hold it against him; it was your fault for being careless.
Instead, Riddle only shakes his head gently, before asking if youâd like to stop at Ramshackle to change before you two arrive at the library.
Your surprise forces you to take a moment and just look at him. So far heâs come from the person he was only a couple months ago. You feel strangely sentimental, so you reach out to touch his shoulder, intending to thank him.
As soon as you make contact with him, the world around you shifts, brown and orange leaves being traded for the bright green of spring.
-
You sit under a pagoda tree, the wind gently blowing the pages of your novel. Itâs strange - youâre seeing things as yourself, but youâre not in control. Itâs as though youâre replaying the memory of someone else. At the sound of someoneâs voice, âyouâ look up. Itâs there that you spot familiar red hair; it forms a stark contrast to the vegetation around you.
Heâs not alone, either. In Riddleâs arms is a small baby, with identical hair to who you presume is his father. Itâs a striking image - Riddle with his child. Heâs noticeably older; if you had to guess, he seems to be in his late twenties.
âMC? Sorry to bother, but heâs been refusing to eat today. I checked our parenting books thrice, but I havenât found any suitable solutions. I thought you might know how to help him.â
âThatâs okay,â you hear your voice say. âHow is our little guy doing?â
Riddle passes the baby to you, and you finally take notice of his other features; this child has the same colour eyes as you, and a similarly shaped nose.
You then catch a glimpse of the ring sparking on your left hand, and the other on Riddleâs.
âHmm,â youâre vision-self says. âLetâs go back home, Iâll try to see whatâs bothering him.â
âAlright, dear. Iâll start on dinner,â older-Riddle replies.
He takes your hand and helps you up, before you walk back toward the house in the distance, your hand still in his.
-
When the greens turn to orange, you blink, finding Riddle looking at you. Youâre back at NRC.
âAre you alright, prefect? You seem distracted.â
âIâm okay, Riddle. I justâŚnever mind. Letâs get going.â
You decide not to tell him about your strangeâŚDream? Vision? It all seemed so realâŚyou could smell the tree sap and feel the breeze flow against your skin. You held a baby. Your babyâŚwith Riddle? The two of you were older, but would it really be possible for it to truly be your future? That seemed ridiculous. Then again, you thought the same thing about magic a few months ago.
You resolve to keep this strange occurrence to yourself until you can figure out what happened. Itâs hard to look at Riddle, having now seen the two of you married and with a child together. Youâre more flustered than usual. Was this just some kind of daydream projection of your fantasies about him? You werenât even really sure you could say you have a âcrushâ on him - after all, youâve only recently begun getting close. Not that you havenât thought of him that way at all but-
Youâre sure Riddle takes notice of your strange behaviour throughout your study session but, thankfully, he doesnât comment on it.
ii. dizzying dreams and endless nights; leona kingscholar
Youâd fought Leona hard to get where you are now - on the left side of his bed, with Grim sleeping at the base. Youâre exhausted with everything going on with Azul (hopefully) temporarily taking your dorm, but itâs hard to sleep with how worried you are about the situation.
Leonaâs room is dim, moonlight cascading over the silk sheets. You can barely make out his form, curled up in the blankets and turned away from you.
You donât want to disturb the sleeping lion, but he happens to be hogging the entire blanket. You suppose you shouldâve known, but it wasnât as though you had time to take anything from Ramshackle.
When the chill becomes too much to ignore, you try to tug part of the blanket away from him. This causes Leona to roll over, arm suddenly falling around your back.
Youâre hit with another wave of blurry vision as the moon melts into the sun.
-
âMorning,â you hear a voice, your voice, say to him. Your tone is playful and lightheartedly chastising. You can feel his arms wrapped snuggly around you.
Itâs happening again, the same as with Riddle. Youâre seeing things from your own eyes, but youâre not in control.
A groan comes from behind you, Leona shuffling his position but refusing to open his eyes. His bare legs brush yours under the covers. âToo early. Go back to sleep.â He pulls you closer into his chest.
âYouâ laugh gently, turning around in his arms so youâre now face to face. âYou promised the queen we would attend this banquet. Especially after we missed the last one.â
He looks older here too, but as gorgeous as ever. Despite just waking up, Leonaâs dark hair falls perfectly around his face. The room is different than his one at school; itâs still a bedroom, but it looks as though youâre back in the castle of Sunset Savanna.
Leona finally opens his eyes, looking at you with a heavy gaze before flipping you below him. His arms hold him straight above you, looking down on you lying prone on the bed. âHmph.â He leans in close until your lips are only millimetres apart. âWe have some time, donât we?â
Youâre left staring into those piercing green eyes, entranced by them being closer than ever.
With that, he leans in completely, lips brushing over your own as he begins to kiss you. The longer it goes, the more ravenous he becomes, more and more greedy for the taste of your lips.
-
When the sunlight fades to moonlight, youâre left embarrassed. That was - so much worse than with Riddle?! Ugh, itâs so awkward with Leona sleeping beside you now, like youâve violated some kind of rule by thinking of him that way.
Youâre too afraid to even consider the possibility of it being some kind of dream. It came on so suddenly, but you hadnât been asleep. The whole thing seemed so real, too elaborate for a simple dream. No, it had to be more than that - some kind of vision - but how could that be true? And what did that mean about your vision with Riddle? Surely they couldnât both be correct.
Youâd intended on ignoring it before, but with Leonaâs vision, that seemed futile. Perhaps the staff would have some answers for youâŚ
iii. seashells shimmer in the forever sea; azul ashengrotto
Azul isnât one for touching, and this time neither are you. Ever since the Crowleyâs theory about alternate universes and rips in time since youâve travelled worlds, youâve decided itâs best to stay away from touching too many people. It wasâŚinteresting, to see a possible future with Riddle and Leona, but itâs certainly left you ambivalent. Itâs a bit difficult not to avoid them when your mind drifts to your âvisionsâ while in their vicinity.
Riddle is kind enough to ignore your sudden shyness, but Leona has openly called you out on how flustered you get around him. He seems both confused and amused about the development, and his smugness is too much to handle sometimes.
Fortunately for you, Leona doesnât hang around the Mostro Lounge much, making it the perfect place for you to avoid him. You try to force Ace and Deuce to come with you and study there, but the two have been reluctant considering their previous encounters with the twins while trying to get Azulâs picture.
That means youâre left to go alone, sometimes. Well, alone except for Grim. He never leaves you hanging as long as you agree to buy him food. Just like today, where he sits passed out across the other side of the booth, having eaten himself into a food coma.
You try to return to your homework, but out of the corner of your eye, you catch Azul staring at you from the staff area. When you make eye contact, he only waves, smile dripped in plasticity. When you donât clue in, he walks toward your table, eventually taking a seat across from you, beside Grim.
âHello, Prefect,â he says.
âAzul.â
Unlike Riddle - and even to some extent, Leona - you havenât really gotten close to Azul after his overblot. He doesnât exactly want you to, it seems.
âI noticed youâve been frequenting the Lounge quite frequently as of late - I just wanted to thank you, for being a dedicated patron.â
âIâm not doing it for you, but youâre welcome, I guess.â
âAh yes, I presumed. So, who are you doing it for?â
Your mind snaps to thoughts of you and Leona in the future, his arms around you in his bed-
âNothing. No one. Do you need something, Azul?â
Despite your attempt at neutrality, Azul must see something on your face as you attempt to rid your mind of your vision of Leona. He leans in a bit, curious to observe you.
You begin packing up your things, too distracted to continue studying.
âNo need to leave on my account,â he says.
âItâs not.â
He stands at the same time as you, presumably planning to head back to his office. Unfortunately for the both of you, you hadnât noticed Grim migrate to his place sleeping on the floor. When you take a step forward and trip, Azul is, tragically, directly in front of you.
Your arms reach out instinctively, but instead of stabilizing yourself by grabbing onto his shoulders, the force of your fall knocks the both of you over.
As soon as you make contact with him, your vision swirls into another world full of beautiful blues.
-
The coral sea is even more breathtaking than you remember. Youâve only been a couple times, but the drastic differences between the land and ocean always manage to stun you. The water is so clear that it practically glitters as you wave your hands through it, feeling the water pass refreshingly across your smooth skin.
Youâve never been to this specific place before (presumably, it doesnât exist yet), but itâs clear what it is: a restaurant. If the octopus logo has anything to do with it, clearly itâs Azulâs. It wasnât too surprising to you that he would have more restaurants open in the future, but you werenât sure what you were doing here. If the pattern followed, it seemed inevitable that you and Azul would beâŚromantically-involved in this timeline, but that just didnât seem possible.
At least you had befriended Riddle and Leona to an extent - Azul looked down on your existence as a magicless person, seemingly entirely apathetic about you in general. You had to admit, the feelings were mutual considering his treatment of you and your friends.
You feel âyourselfâ look around the restaurant, before heading back into the staff area. You knock on the door to an office, and Azul opens it with a smile.
He, too, is older. His face has matured a bit and he also wears his hair a bit longer. Azul still has his grey suit, though.
âHello, MC. Done for the day?â
âI guess so, boss,â your voice replied cheekily. Boss?? Why would your future self ever work for-
âHmm, I may have more tasks for you, why donât you come in~â
With that, future-Azul takes your hand and tugs you into his office. On his desk sits several picture frames; one of his parents and one of his wedding. You happened to spot yourself in the second one.
Itâs a bit jarring to see; you and Azul posed together, dressed up in such fancy clothing. His arm sits around your shoulder, and yours around his waist. Before this, the two of you have never even shook hands.
You hear yourself giggling, cornering Azul against the wall as soon as he closes the door and bringing your arms around his neck to kiss him.
You can already feel the dread forming; you definitely wonât be able to spend time at the Mostro Lounge after thisâŚ
As the two of you pull away, Azul starts talking about a reunion for your graduating class at NRC.
âI told them maybe - with the new branch of our restaurant opening, we may wish to stay back. Then again, it could be a great opportunity to network for us. What do you think, dear?â
Before you can hear your reply, the world fades back into the familiar lighting of the Mostro Lounge.
-
A groaning Azul is beneath you, having (unfortunately for him) broken your fall.
You utter a quiet âsorry!â as you get off of him, still a bit flustered from your vision.
He gets up, dusting himself off. Thankfully, the two of you are in a rather secluded area of the place, so no one was there to witness your embarrassment.
Azul can no longer maintain the facade of kind gentleman as he turns back to you, voice dripping with passive aggressiveness.
âI would prefer if you refrained from touching me in the future. Thank you.â
With that, he gets up and leaves. You shake your head - how could there possibly be any timeline where youâve married him?
iv. jaded jewels shine, awaken from slumber; jamil viper
While helping out with the VDC, youâve had time to get close to Jamil. Much closer, in fact, than with any of the others youâve had visions of before. Now youâve avoided touching him for a whole other reason - youâre scared you wonât have a vision.
Spending time with Jamil has made you realize things youâd never thought about him before - his handsomeness, intelligence, and talent. Youâve developed a bit of a crush on him, considering how much you admire him.
However, you have no idea how he feels. Jamil has never been one to express his feelings so outwardly, but you canât get a read on him at all. Heâs been polite with you, but heâs treated you basically the same as everyone else.
Your attempts at getting closer to him have been rather unsuccessful - the group is so busy practicing, everyoneâs been way too exhausted to really do anything.
You manage to get a moment alone at Ramshackle when the rest of the boys have gone to sleep, and you find Jamil sitting out on the porch alone.
âHey,â you say. âMind if I join you?â
Jamil turns to look at you before nodding his head. You take a seat beside him, following his gaze to the stars. The sky is dark but the moon casts a glow on him, making Jamil look beautiful under the light.
âWhat are you thinking about?â
He hums for a moment before replying, âWhat Iâm always thinking about - how things will just go back to normal again after the end of the VDC.â
You donât really know what to say; his fears seem inevitable, no matter how much you want to comfort him. âIâm sorryâŚI canât understand what itâs like for you, butâŚwhat if you could still have some kind of happiness in your life?â
âLike what?â
âI donât knowâŚyou could still find love?â
âFind love? You think thatâs what I care about?â Jamilâs tone is bitter, but his voice never rises. âSorry, but youâre awfully naive. Things like love wonât make my life better. Itâll only complicate things.â
âI-I understand.â
When your voice shakes, Jamil finally looks up at you, sighing when he spots your watery eyes.
âPrefect, relax. Iâm not angry at you. Itâs just a frustrating situation for me, Iâm sure you know. I donât have time to think about love. I just need to focus on myself.â
With that, he pats your shoulder before standing up, leaving you alone to stare at the night sky. Jamil hadnât even realized you were trying to confess to him, and you felt terrible for even trying to bring it up. Of course he wouldnât be able to think about something like your stupid little crush - you feel so silly for even bringing it up, you shouldâve known better since you know all about his circumstances.
It was then you realized - Jamil had touched you for the first time. He touched you and nothing happened.
The first one youâd been seriously interested in, and there seemed to be no future for the two of you.
Was it possible youâd already messed up this timeline, making it impossible for that future with him to occur? The whole thing made your head spin and your heart ache.
v. swept into spotlights, doused in delicacy; vil schoenheit
Vil had been a surprising comfort in the wake of your unrequited crush on Jamil. The two of you had gotten closer after VDC, and Vil had a way of pulling honesty out of you. It had only taken him a couple days of observing your awkwardness to guess at the situation.
Heâd been a shoulder to cry on, both literally and figuratively. Thereâd been a moment when he first pulled you into his arms that youâd wondered - hoped - that he might be a possibility in your future, but alas, no vision. It was a bit disappointing but you knew it was wrong to feel too badly; it would be greedy of you to desire a connection with so many knowing you could only end up with one.
Vil became a friend - someone you could rely on, someone who could make you laugh, and someone who couldnât break your heart.
Even when you would start to feel something more than platonic for him, you had to push it away. He was certainly gorgeous and talented and perfectâŚbut he wouldnât be that for you. He couldnât, apparently, and maybe he wouldnât want to either.
Vil was more than just a fellow student - he was an actor, a model, a celebrity - someone too far to reach. Even if you had a vision with him, would it matter?
Youâre snapped out of your thoughts by Vilâs hand on your cheek, turning your face to get the correct angle to apply your eyeliner; heâd insisted you get dressed up with him and Rook to go out tonight.
âMove onto the bed,â Vil says.
You stand from the chair in front of his vanity and move hesitantly toward his bed. His silky sheets look perfect - you donât want to ruin them. Looking back at him, Vil rolls his eyes and gently pushes you toward the bed until you lay back.
Youâre left staring up at him on your back, while he sits above you, applying the rest of his products on your face. Heâs so close to you, his luscious golden hair almost tickles your face. His pretty purple eyes donât focus on your own, following his makeup brush.
He looks cute like this, concentrating hard to perfect your makeup. He bites his lip gently, drawing your attention to his pretty mouth, shining with the pink gloss heâd applied earlier.
When he leans away to pick up the blush, you mistakenly think heâs finished and try to sit up. At the same time that you rise, Vil turns back to face you. The timing coincides into an accidental and brief meeting of your lips.
It takes a second for you to realize that the dizziness your feel isnât due to your racing heart, but the sudden appearance of another vision.
-
The lights flash, bright and blinding. The sharp clicks of cameras obnoxiously disrupt the music heard softly on the street from nearby restaurants and clubs.
Youâre rushing away with Vil, hand in hand as he pulls you toward a black limo waiting up ahead. You nearly stumble, but Vil is quick to stabilize you.
Once the two of you escape the paparazzi, youâre left sitting side by side in the backseat of the limo, both breathing heavily. Vil gives the driver instructions to return back to his penthouse.
He turns to you. âAre you okay, darling?â
You feel yourself nod in affirmation, taking ahold of his hand again. He squeezes back.
âIâm sorry theyâve ruined another date. I know itâs hard for you not to have much privacy, but it seems no matter what I do, they find us.â He strokes your hand with his thumb.
âItâs okay, Vil. I knew what I was getting into, dating a celebrity and all that.â
He plants a kiss on your cheek. âStill, they shouldnât bother us. I may be a celebrity, but you arenât. You deserve privacy.â He sighs gently. âHas thisâŚimpacted our previous discussion?â
You look back up at him. You assume based on past visions that heâs much older now, but heâs kept his youthful and gorgeous look. Even now, his purple eyes make your heart flutter embarrassingly.
âOf course not. I want us to have kids together. Youâll be the best dad and protect them from all this. I know it.â
He kisses you on the lips this time just as your vision begins to end.
-
Vil snaps his fingers over you as you come too, rolling his eyes.
âI know my lips are practically intoxicating, but did you really get that worked up over an accidental peck between friends?â
Your face becomes hot at Vilâs statement, embarrassment setting in. He doesnât know how right he is.
âAh, sorry. I gotâŚdistracted.â
Vil laughs gently. âWhy? Thinking of more of my kisses? Theyâll cost you~â
When you stammer in response, he just ruffles your hair gently.
âIâm just teasing you.â
You stare at him for a moment before speaking. âI donât think we can do each otherâs makeup platonically anymore.â If it ever was, that is.
Vil rolls his eyes dramatically again.
vi. hidden in shadows, warmth comes in waves; idia shroud
The incident with Vil leaves you even more confused than before. It makes you wonderâŚif just touching isnât always enough to have a vision, does that mean a future where you end up with Jamil is still possible? You donât even want to hope, knowing the heartache heâd unknowingly caused you before.
And VilâŚhaving a vision about him makes this complicated. When it was just lingering thoughts you could push to the side of your mind, your growing infatuation with him was easy to ignore. Actually seeing your future with him, has made your heart swell and ache at the same time.
You donât exactly choose to become friends with Idia, it just kind of happens. Just like the previous situations where youâd attempted to avoid the star of your latest vision, Idia is someone who seems like a good choice to help you stay away from them. He isnât good friends with Jamil or Vil (or frankly anyone). Incidentally, the two of you become friends after a small argument over an anime (the only topic that allows Idia to temporarily overcome his social anxiety just to disagree with you), and you begin to hang out occasionally.
The more your old friends hang out with the VDC group, the more you begin to make excuses and go play video games with Idia and Ortho.
It feels strangely easy, spending time with Idia. You never have to pretend, and with your shared interests, conversation comes naturally. Once youâve spent enough time around him, he feels much more comfortable around you, willing to share his (strong) thoughts and opinions on everything.
Idia is veryâŚdifferent than you wouldâve guessed before you knew him well. While he can be rude, you find it more funny than offensive, and itâs pretty fun to banter with him. His room holds small glimpses into his true personality; video games he loves, posters of his favourite characters. His passion for these things is clear as day.
Sitting on Idiaâs couch, youâre playing against him and Ortho in Super Smash Bros. Ortho immediately claimed Kirby, proceeding to destroy the both of you multiple times until he emerged as the winner.
Despite the loss, both you and Idia canât help but smile. Ortho makes a celebratory noise, before turning back to you.
âMC, we are about to encounter another rip in the time continuum,â Ortho says. âIâm so excited, do you think it will finally be my big brotherâs turn to earn your love?â
âWhat?â you and Idia say for different reasons.
âHow do you know about that?
âEarn their love??â
âItâs part of my programming to monitor all things involving space and time.â
âHuh. Okay.â
You suppose itâs true, youâve never really touched Idia before. The two of you got along like best friends; it wasnât so much of a stretch to say you could end up having a future together. You hadnât thought about it much, in light of recent events.
âUsually youâre the only one able to see, but since Idiaâs here, why donât I show him too!â
âI donât think thatâs a good idea, Ortho,â Idia says.
âI think it will be good for you, brother! Donât worry, Iâll give the both of you some privacy to see your future. Itâs approaching in three, two-â
When his countdown reaches one, Ortho plops your hand on top of Idia, making your vision fade once again.
-
The Island of Woe is familiar to you by now, after everything that went down with Idia. The architecture remains impersonal; the uniformity of the blank steel walls reminds you of a maze. The thought had unsettled you, the last time you visited.
Strangely enough, you donât feel that same sense of anxiety and claustrophobia in this vision. Youâre strangely calm; it wouldnât be crazy to assume that exposure and familiarity has dulled these feelings.
The scene is devastatingly unsurprising. You suppose youâd always known what Idiaâs future would be; what all his ancestors futures had been. That hadnât lessened the spark of hope youâd been carrying that perhaps things might turn out differently than he believed.
You had a bad habit of that: false hope for Jamil, false hope for Idia. It didnât truly do anyone any good, no matter how much you wished it to.
Youâre in Idiaâs room. Aside from its size and how nice it is, the decor is a clear giveaway. The posters that line the walls arenât from media you recognize, so it must be future content, but itâs all in line with Idiaâs current tastes. Youâre happy he has that, at least. You even catch a glimpse of a couple of his old posters from NRC rolled up in his closet. A few pieces even stand out, things that seem much more suited to your taste than his own.
A familiar head of blue hair wanders into the room.
âHey MC.â
âHi Idia,â you feel your lips gently pull up in the corners. Despite âyourâ outward expression in the vision, you feel a small twinge of pain in your chest.
Idiaâs entrance into his room (your room?) lets you take a close look at him. Even ten or so years later, it seems he hasnât been able to rid himself of his eye bags. Even so, you still think he looks nice, his vibrant hair illuminating his pretty face. Heâs cute, smiling back at you.
âSorry Iâm back late again. Thereâs been so many problems with the new system update, even Ortho canât handle it himself.â Idiaâs expression drops a little.
âItâs okay, I know youâre busy.â
Idia comes to sit beside you on the bed, head turning toward you. âIs it though? Stuck down here with me, and I canât even be by your side half the time. I doubt this is the life you- anyone would dream of.â
âI miss you, of course I do. But I chose this life. I chose you.â
âMaybe you shouldnât have.â
The tears well in your eyes before you can stop them, and Idiaâs panic only rises once he notices.
âGah!! No, MC, please donât cry. I didnât mean it like that. Sevens, Iâm so stupid.â Idia awkwardly pulls you into his arms, and you begin wipe your tears onto his shoulder as you settle down.
âSorry, I-I donât know what came over me,â you sniffle.
âDonât apologize, it was my fault. I donât know why, every time I try to tell you how I feel, it always just comes out wrong. I try to tell you that I love you, that you deserve better than to be stuck here with me, and it comes out like that.â
âIdiaâŚI know what you meant, it just took me by surprise to hear those words.â
âLoving you is supposed to be the one thing I can do to make your life here better, and I canât even do it right.â
âSays who? Donât you think I should be the judge of that?â
âI made you cry, MC! Something is wrong with meâŚâIdiaâs cheeks flush pink as he stares at his feet.
You want to comfort him, to tell him that it doesnât matter, but you quickly feel yourself being pulled away. Youâve never wished more than to have a few more moments in a vision.
-
The room remains silent for a minute after the vision ends, the both of you trying to process what had happened.
âIdiaâŚâ you say, trying to bridge the gap between you, but not exactly knowing how.
âMaybe- I uh - maybe you should leave?â Idia says sheepishly.
âLeave? What did I do?â you say, feeling a bit hurt by his suddenly rejection.
âNothing! I just- Iâm sorry, I need some time. I canât speak right now, I need to be alone.â Idia is clearly panicked, so you follow his brother to the exit.
âSorry, MC,â Ortho says, opening the door for you. âSometimes Idia gets overwhelmed in situations like this. Please, give him time andâŚplease donât give up on him like everyone else does.â
vii. sun and moon, forever in orbit; malleus draconia
Youâve known Malleus as long as youâve known Riddle, but despite your blooming friendship, youâve never had the chance to touch him before. The fae always seemed to prefer to keep his distance when visiting you at Ramshackle; close enough to talk, too far to touch.
That all changes when you finally agree to join the gargoyle studies club. Itâs not as though youâd purposefully avoided it before, thereâd just always been too much going on to really think about joining any of the clubs.
With Idia shutting you out, you were in dire need of a new hobby that would allow you to finally avoid thinking about what had gone down with him in the days before.
When Malleus finally strolls by Ramshackle again, youâre able to inform him of your intention to join his club.
Itâs a remarkable thing, having stunned the fae prince into momentary silence at your request. He furrows his brow before replying.
âI do hope you arenât making a joke at my expense, prefect. That would be rather cruel of you.â
You wave away his words, telling him that youâre entirely serious. He looks you up and down for a moment before a playful grin pulls at his lips.
âI suppose I will see you in our meeting on thursday, then. Please, donât be late. We have much to see.â
-
Weekly meetings become bi-weekly, and soon youâre meeting up with Malleus almost daily. Since itâs only the two of you in the club, you take certain liberties when it comes to subject matter. You agree to let Malleus show you some ruins and he, in turn, agrees to watch the bachelor with you.
You donât even like the show, but Malleusâ reactions are the real entertainment. Heâs surprisingly sassy and opinionated about all the drama, although he tends to get confused on âhuman customsâ as he so puts it.
âWhy wonât he make a choice? Itâs clear who he truly desires,â Malleus asks one day, sitting on Ramshackleâs beat up couch as you watch the reality show together on your laptop.
âI donât know, the guys on this show are always like this. They want to keep around as many options as possible until theyâre forced to choose,â you mumble, mouth full of popcorn.
âHuman men are fickle.â
You laugh. âFae arenât?â
He takes a moment to answer. âSome. Not dragon fae. Once we choose a person to love, we give everything to them, and expect the same in return.â
You donât know how to reply to that, so you turn back to the screen. Throughout the rest of the episode, you can feel Malleusâ gaze flicker between yourself and the show, not fully invested like you are.
-
Youâre not oblivious to his hints. Itâs clear that things between you are become more than friendly, but itâs difficult to know how you feel about it.
On one hand, Malleus has always felt strangely charming to you, despite how he often came off to others. There was something about him, or perhaps just the sum of his parts that came together perfectly to make him into a wonderful being.
Spending time together and getting close felt nice, but you were far too used to this pattern to not feel worried about some kind of impending doom. It seemed every time you had a nice friendship, things would fall apart as soon as you found out about your future together.
Even when pleasant, the strangeness of the experience makes it uncomfortable to be around them again. Youâve felt bad avoiding your friends, but there isnât much you can do to change your feelings.
Even worse - what if your vision with Malleus isnât positive? After what you saw with Idia, the fear lingers in your mind.
Once you opened the gate, questions begun to flood your brain. What would a future be like with Malleus? Would that even be possible? Would you be his consort? Would a relationship between a human and fae be accepted? Would you be able to handle it? The anxieties were endless.
You think about telling him about everything. About Riddle, LeonaâŚbut how would he react? You tell yourself that itâs better if he doesnât know. At least not until after.
Heâs the first one you touch on purpose; you have to know.
A casual stroll around Ramshackle leads to the purposeful brushing of fingers, and youâre pulled into a familiar haze.
-
Youâve never been to Briar Valley, but you know with certainty that your vision takes place there.
The hall you sit in is long, gold trims running along the walls. The black dragon heraldry mounted above the fireplace at the end of the room looks more expensive than anything youâve seen in your life.
Two wide doors swing open, and Malleus finally enters the room. He isnât alone.
A small black shape zooms past his legs, plopping itself in front of you.
âDaddy and I picked you flowers from the garden!â
The blur isnât some shadow, but instead a small child. Five or six, if you had to guess. If her words didnât give away her parentage, the small, stubby horns peaking out from the top of her head of dark hair certainly told you this was Malleusâ daughter.
âThank you, sweetie.â You smile at her, taking the flowers she drops in your hand. Thereâs still some dirt and roots attached, but sheâs so adorable, you truly donât mind.
âCan Uncle Silver take me horseback ridding today?â she asks you. âDaddy said itâs okay with him if itâs okay with you.â She blinks at you sweetly.
âAlright, I suppose. Just be careful, dear,â you reply.
âI have the best parents in all the kingdoms!â she shouted, running along to her chambers to get ready, leaving only you in Malleus in the room.
âSheâs so lively today,â you comment, looking up at him.
âIndeed,â he replies, coming to rest beside you. âYou look beautiful, my love.â
âAnd you, my king.â
The two of you share a kiss. Itâs all so - dizzying. Itâs not unexpected to have a child with Malleus - you had one with Riddle, but this is different. This child is older, she knows you, she feels so real.
He pulls away to smile at you. âI have a gift for you.â
âWhatâs the occasion?â
âNeed there be one for me to celebrate my wonderful spouse?â
âI suppose not. Thank you, Malleus. No matter how many gifts you give, I will treasure them all.â
He pulls out a box from his pocket, asking you to turn around. You feel him guide a cold band around your neck, clasping it in the back. He then places a small, handheld mirror in your hands, urging you to look.
The necklace heâs given you is beyond stunning. Itâs silver, with a dazzling gemstone in the middle. You donât even want to ponder how much it mustâve cost.
You catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror.
Itâs strange - seeing yourself much older when Malleus looks the same. It unsettles you more than youâd like to admit. Itâs one thing to know youâll age at different rates and another to see it with your own eyes.
This must be something on your mind in the future as well, because of the next thing you decide to ask Malleus.
âWill I see her grow up? For me, it feels like sheâs been young forever. I love it and yetâŚI want to see more of her life than just this.â
He doesnât ask who youâre referring to. âYou will. Youâll see most. I was practicing mature by my eighty-first birthday.â
You sigh. âI may not even get that far. Iâm healthy now, but who knows. The curses of being humanâŚâ
He tilts your chin to face him. âIt is not a curse to me, my love. I chose you, and I would again.â
Thereâs infinitely more to discuss, but you already feel yourself slipping away.
-
You come to from the vision mid walk. Malleus is unaffected, seemingly still in the middle of one of his explanations behind the rich history of one of gargoyles youâd just passed by.
When he notices your silence and turns to ask if youâre alright, you have no response for him.
It seems almost selfish, for you to choose him. Why- why did there need to be so many things wrong? Why did you have to be human, to pain him and your future children by leaving them behind so early?
The joy and the pain - would it all truly be worth it? Or would it be better for it to have never happened?
Malleus looks at you with concern, wiping the tears suddenly cascading down your cheeks.
âWhatâs wrong, my child of man?â
Everything and nothing, you want to tell him.
viii. all things end, all that we intend; conclusion
Seven beautiful souls, all potential endings. Every future you glimpsed has itâs own charms, and itâs own poisons.
Which future will you choose? One of them? Or perhapsâŚanother?
#pls ignore any mistakes iâm too tired to proofread#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#riddle rosehearts x reader#leona kingscholar x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#jamil viper x reader#vil schoenheit x reader#idia shroud x reader#malleus draconia x reader#riddle rosehearts#leona kingscholar#azul ashengrotto#jamil viper#vil schoenheit#idia shroud#malleus draconia#twst#twisted wonderland
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Lieutenant Rogers - part 8
Safe Places
pairings: romantic!neil âomahaâ vikander x rogers!reader, platonic!dagger squad x rogers!reader, plantonic!sam wilson x rogers!reader, platonic!bucky barnes x rogers!reader
characters: y/n rogers, neil vikander, bob floyd, dagger squad, sam wilson, john walker (mentioned), lemar hoskins (mentioned), karli morgenthau (mentioned), nico (mentioned)
word count: ~8.7k
chapter warnings: language, murder, grief, isolation, fighting, talk of blood, crying, internalizing feelings, vomiting (no one pukes but there are mentions of it), slightly obsessive behaviors, omaha is a good boyfriend, star really needs a hug, please let me know if I missed any
a/n: hi... hello... i just want to thank you all for your immense patience with me. i'm so so sorry it's almost been a year sense the last update. i hope this chapter was worth the wait đ
sources: Top Gun: Maverick (2022) , The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (2021)
chapter summary: in the wake of the publicized murder of a flag smasher, star has to wrestle with herself as she comes to terms with everything that has happened and anticipate what will happen in the fall out -- all the while omaha tries not to let his feelings overshadow hers
lieutenant rogers universe previous part || next part
You stared at your phone, the video stopped on a frame of the shield covered in blood. Your fatherâs shield, covered in blood. Covered in the blood of someone who was pleading for their life. It didnât matter to you that they were a Flag Smasher. They were a fucking person.
Ice ran through your veins, a deathly chill capable of putting out the bonfire in front of you.
The one symbol of hope, the one piece of your father that you thought would keep a flame of his comfort burning in the world, was now smothered to nothing but bloodied ashes. His memory, his legacy, was now tainted.Â
Swallowing the bitter taste of alcohol rising back up in your throat, you quietly excused yourself from the group.
You knew Omaha was watching you the whole time you trekked up the beach, your phone fighting for its life in your hand. He was going to give you your space, give you a moment to let yourself be angry and let it out before trying to console you. You needed a minute to be angry alone, then you both could be angry together.
He kept his eyes on you the whole time though, even as your face was illuminated by your phone screen as you called Sam.
You tried to take deep, calming breaths as you waited for Sam to pick up.Â
It was morning time in Latvia, so you knew he would be awake. And if he wasnât, youâd happily be his wake-up call.
Your thumb tapped on your fingers, index finger to pinky and back again, while your exhales fell out of trembling lips. You couldnât puke. You werenât going to puke. This was not the time to throw up.Â
Saliva built up in your mouth, and your lips began to feel sticky â a tell-tale sign that you were probably going to vomit. Your stomach churned as you felt the buzzing heat of your nerves roll over your skin.Â
You hated puking; you didnât do it often. It was hard for you to get sick, and the serum also helped you to keep from puking after being in your plane. So, you being over the toilet or a trash can expelling the contents of your stomach wasnât an event you experienced regularly. When it did happen, you were absolutely miserable.
You spit the built-up saliva out into the sand, your hand resting over your stomach as you hummed to try and ward away the nausea.Â
Pick up the damn phone, Wilson, you thought as you closed your eyes and exhaled, head tilting up toward the navy blue sky.
Finally, just as you were about to hang up and try again, he answered, his tone already pleading and desperate.
âI know-âÂ
âWhat. The. Fuck did he do?âÂ
Samâs words went unheard by you as you cut him off, hissing harshly into the receiver.
Anger and frustration rose up in place of the bile and alcohol that had been in your throat moments ago. Your words pushed the nausea out of the way.
Was your anger misplaced? You didnât think so.
He promised you that he would keep John in line. Keep your father's legacy intact despite the catastrophe tasked with carrying it on. Sam gave you his word that he wouldnât let Walker ruin it.Â
And now, for John to go and do this? With Sam doing nothing to stop him?
As far as you were concerned, your anger towards him was justified.
âY/N-â
âNo, Sam! Donât âY/Nâ me! What the hell happened?â
You werenât about to let Sam try to calm you down. That wasnât his place. Not after he failed to do the one thing he said he would.
Sam sighed, and the weight of it dampened the ringing in your ears slightly, a realization hitting you.
Sam was there. He watched it and everything that led up to it. He was just as angry about this situation as you were, not to mention the guilt and regret that probably weighed on his shoulders now, too.
Had your emotions jumped the gun? Did you lash out at Sam too quickly?
Despite that revelation there were things you couldnât let go, justifications you were too stubborn to let go of. Stuck on his broken promise.
âLemar Hoskins is dead. Karli killed him during a fightâŚâ
Your heart sank.
You met Lemar once. It was before you left for the mission and only for a few minutes, but he seemed like such a sweet guy. He was there to support John and have his back; he was being a good friend.
And look where that got himâŚ
You crossed your arm over your chest, your free hand gripping your bicep as your jaw clenched. âThatâs-thatâs unfortunate⌠but that doesnât justify murder.â
âNo, it doesnât.â
âHe didnât even kill Karli. Flag Smasher or not, that man was innocent.â You dug your foot into the sand, âHe didnât deserve to die.â
The ringing in your ears came back as the quiet slowly took over the call, Samâs end unnervingly bare of words. Your jaw ticked in the silence, anger flaring up in your stomach.Â
You finally broke it, letting yourself ask:
âWhy didnât you stop him? How could you allow this to happen?â
âOh no, no, no, no. Youâre not about to blame me for this,â Sam responded, his tone defensive and sharp.
Your free hand flew out to the side, your own defensiveness coming to light.
âYou promised me, Sam! You gave me your word!â
In the midst of your shouting and arm flailing, you didnât think about the possibility of there being people nearby. Nor did it occur to you that the scene you were making might make them uncomfortable â but, honestly, you didnât really care.
âDonât you think I would have stopped him if I couldâve? You really think that I just stood there and let him take an innocent life?â
The wild arm fell limp and slapped against your thigh, a huff escaping your lips. âSamââ
âNo, Y/N, itâs my turn to talk. While I understand your anger towards me, hell Iâm angry towards me, but just give me a chance to explain. Please.â
You chewed on the inside of your cheek, your knee bouncing as you looked at the sand, âOkay⌠tell me what happened.â Your voice was a little softer, not as brassy or harsh, but still firm.
Sam let out a breath, taking a moment to collect the right words.
âAfter the fight, we all just scattered. Bucky and I got separated from John, and⌠by the time we got there, we were too late.â
You stayed quiet, your tongue swiping over your teeth as you let Sam continue.
âHe ran off after he realized what he had done⌠Bucky and I went after him, tracked him down to an abandoned train station. When we got there, we confronted him and tried to get the shield back civilly, but Johnâs pride got in the way⌠it got ugly, but we got the shield back. Itâs with me right now.â
You nodded, your thumb popping your fingers at your side as you drew in a breath.Â
âWhat about Walker?â You need to change the focus, your tongue redirecting itself to form the question rather than the comment it really wanted to say.
âWhat do you mean?â Sam was clearly confused by the shift, but he welcomed it internally.
âWhere is John, Sam?â
âThey- His handlers, I guess is what they are, took him back to the States. Probably will have a hearing in a few daysâŚâ He trailed off, now wondering why you wanted to know Walkerâs whereabouts. âWhat are you planning, Star?â
âDonât worry about it, Wilson,â you snapped.
âY/Nââ
âYou canât stop me, Sam. Donât tryââ
âWalker took the serum, Y/N.â Your brow furrowed for a second as you processed the words Sam had interrupted you with, and the second you did â it felt like your organs turned to lead.
John Walker was a Super Soldier now? Thatâs just⌠fucking great and definitely not a huge problem for you.
You groaned a little and rubbed your forehead after you recovered from the slight shock, âIâm still going to confront him. I canât sit in fucking silence about this. Not nowâŚâ
âAnd I don't expect you to. But you needed to know what you were walking into.â
You swallow and nod, âWell, thank you for that. Iâll umm.. Iâll keep that in mind.â After another beat of silence, Sam sighed a little, âLook, Y/N, weââ
You shook your head, âLater, Sam, this⌠this is not a conversation I want to have over the phone with just you. Bucky needs to be in on this, too.â
âRight, right, of course.âÂ
You nodded and shook out your hand, âBye, Sam.â
âTalk later, kid.â
After hanging up, you rubbed your face before shoving your phone in your pocket and walking toward the shore.
You needed a second to breathe. You just got back from a high-stress mission, and now Walker has desecrated the only thing left of your father in this world that people put meaning to. And you knew that by tomorrow morning, newspapers, magazines, and the news reporters would be on your ass trying to get a statement.
Were you going to respond? Hell no. Why? Because you didnât need your words twisted and thrown out into the world for people to use for their own agenda.
But you would deal with that in the morning. Right now, you just need to think and take a breath.
A chilled, salty breeze cooled your heated skin and brought notice to the hot tears of frustration on your cheeks.
âShit,â you mumbled as you wiped them from your face. âGet it together, Rogers..â
âHoney,â Neil said gently to announce his presence before he touched your shoulders.Â
You sucked in a breath, ââm fine, babyâŚâ He shook his head and turned you to face him, âNo, Star-light, youâre not.â
More tears sprung to your eyes, and you looked down in an attempt to fight them off. âNo, Neil, Iâm f-â
He tilted your chin up, âStop lying to yourself. Youâre not okay, youâre pissed. You have every right to be upset.â His thumb reached up to swipe a tear away, âPlease donât hold it inâŚâ
Your lip quivered, and you inhaled sharply, shaking your head, âI have to be strong. I canât fucking cry just because Iâm angry.â You pulled back a little and harshly wiped your eyes, not missing the look on your boyfriendâs face.Â
You knew he was just looking out for you and you knew he was right. But you had a mission and you needed to focus. You could break down later â breaking down would cause you to shut down, and you didnât have time to shut down.
Omaha sighed and helped wipe away the tears that escaped, âSweetheart, you shouldnât hold this in â itâs okay to cryâŚâ He held your shoulders and looked into your eyes, âScream, yell, cry, punch something-â
âNeil, I appreciate this, all of it. I do. But you just donât understand whatâs going on in my brain and in my heart right now.â
âThen help me understand. I want to be there for you.â
You sighed sadly, âI wish I could explain it, but I canât. And you are here for me, Neil. Because youâre who Iâm gonna fall on when the weight of this crashes down on me, you are going to be my rock.â You cupped his face in your hands, âYou are my rock. I just⌠I need to face this first.â
He nodded and kissed your palm before kissing your fingertips as he moved one of your hands to his chest. âI love you, Star-light.â You smiled softly at him, âI love you too, Oma.âÂ
Omaha kissed your forehead before wrapping his arms around you, âYou wanna head home?â You sniffled and nodded against his neck, âPlease, if I stay, Iâm afraid Iâll ruin the moodâŚâ He nodded and rubbed your back, âCâmon Doll, letâs go home. Iâll send someone a text and let them know whatâs goinâ on.â
You nodded and pulled back from the hug but stayed tucked under his arm as you both walked to Neilâs Jeep.
The ride home was nearly silent. The only sound in the Jeep was the radio, which had been turned down as low as it could go while still being audible.
Your left hand was threaded with his right one, your thumb pressing down on his knuckle like a button. The tip of his thumb moved up and down, letting itself be manipulated. Neil always made sure to keep his hand loose and moveable when you were tense or anxious. He knew how little control you felt you had in this situation, how you felt like the entire universe was crashing down on you, and you had nothing to get the pieces back in their rightful place.
So he could give you this. He could let you squeeze and press and twist and pull, trace whatever lines or patterns you needed to to ease your nerves. To let you feel in control of something.
Omaha knew better than to ask you questions. Your conversation with Sam was a private thing and something that you would talk to him about when you were ready. He didnât need to push you for information or to talk about your feelings right now, and he trusted that if it was something you thought he needed to know, you would tell him.
That trust didnât stop him from worrying, though.
He could handle your anxious silence. He understood it. But that doesnât mean he liked it.Â
He knew that your mind wasnât putting together coherent thoughts, each one overlapping the next until it was just a cacophony of things that overwhelmed you to the core.Â
Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the tears in your lash line, welling up and making your eyes glossy. They beaded up on your eyelashes like dew on blades of grass in the morning. They gorgeously reflected any light that they could catch â the moonlight, streetlights, headlights of the few cars that passed you. But you didnât let them roll over, catching them on the back of your finger before they had the chance.
Your chest stuttered softly with your shaky inhales, something he would have never noticed if he hadnât learned all of your habits over the course of your five-year relationship. You tried to keep your breathing soft and controlled, quiet enough so you didnât worry Neil.Â
Heâd also catch you attempting to pick at your lips, squeezing your hand every once in a while to divert your attention and let you know that he saw you. Usually, youâd give him an absent-minded squeeze back, and your hand would move to your chest, your thumb rubbing against the words scribbled across your collarbone and your heart thumping against it in time with the pulse he could feel against his own wrist.
He almost didnât want to go home. He could sit in silence in the car, drive around for hours in this silence. In this silence, you were right next to him, holding his hand. This silence wasnât despair; it wasnât as heartbreaking as the silence at home.
At home⌠at home, you had more room to be distant. You had space to be alone, away from him. He understood that you needed space, but he hated it when you would isolate yourself in your own home. Youâd tuck yourself into the corner of the couch and just try to figure it out by yourself. Youâd completely detach yourself and go into focus mode, locking on to figuring out how to fix this situation â one that couldnât really be fixed.
When he finally decided to pull into the house, you didn't do what he expected. Omaha expected you to yank your hand from his and bolt into the house to find a corner to hide in.
But you didnât.
Instead, you swallow, sniffling slightly as you turn from the window to face Neil. He squeezed your hand, letting you know he was still there and he wasnât going anywhere without you.
âIâm going to DCâŚâ
You didnât look up at him as you spoke, afraid youâd break if you looked into his eyes. His kindness and understanding swam in them, conveying his feelings so his words never had to. And they were your safe place.
His eyes were kaleidoscopes of colors. The light manipulated them beautifully, capturing each shade in its individuality and in their unity. They were gorgeous. They were home.
They could be the soft dirt, warm, comforting, and inviting â ready for something to hold. Or they were the grass or the trees, fields and forests of serenity and calmness â a place you could find peace. Or they were the sky or the ocean, two of the greatest expanses on earth â a place you felt in control and a place that showed you just how delicate you could be, a place you could relax and let go.
They were all of those thingsâŚ
They were Neil.
You squeezed his hand, grounding yourself with the chill of his skin against the heat of yours. You took a deep breath, tracing the veins on the back of his hands to focus.
âYou-you donât have to come with me. This is last minute, and we just got home, butââ
âStar-light, Iâm going with you. Whether itâs to be your support, your back up, or your alibi â Iâm going.â
He knew that you werenât asking his permission to go to DC, nor were you really asking him to go with you. But he was going. He wasnât letting you go all the way across the country alone. Heâd stay at the hotel or in the Airbnb if you wanted, but he was going to be within reach of you â that was non-negotiable.Â
âI⌠This isnât going to be some fun trip. I think you know why Iâm going⌠So I want you to think about this.â
Neil didnât need to know and he wasnât going to ask questions, either. You would tell him why, probably were about to, before he interrupted you. And he could only assume it had to do with that video and your phone call with Sam.Â
âI donât need to. When it comes to you, to this, Iâm going to be by your side. You want to face John, let him know that you know what heâs done and that he fucked up. Iâm just gonna be there so you donât get yourself hurt or in trouble.â
He squeezed your hand again, âIâm your partner, your wingman. I am here for you, whenever you need me.â
He watched your face carefully as he spoke, catching the quirk of the corners of your mouth before you sobered up and nodded.
âIâll um⌠Iâll get the tickets after we get inside. Theyâll be shitty, but theyâre last minuteâŚâ
âAs long as theyâre next to each other, I donât care.âÂ
And that was true. He didnât care where you sat in the plane â just that you sat together. He wanted â no, he needed to be next to you. Being there for you is his priority right now.
You swallowed and nodded once more, caging his hand between yours.
âI will do my best.âÂ
He hated how quiet your voice was. It wasnât a normal quiet. It was meek and powerless. You sound defeated and scared.Â
You were none of those things. And seeing you this way broke his heart.
His free hand moved to the back of your head, pulling you toward him gently as he leaned in. He pressed his lips to your forehead, eyes closing as he tried to pour every ounce of love and comfort he could muster into it.
And it seemed to transfer.
Your shoulders relaxed as he felt your shaky exhale brush the skin of his neck.
His eyes stayed closed as he spoke against your skin, âI love you, Star-light.âÂ
You nodded against his lips, feeling comfort in your chest at the vibration of his low voice against your forehead. His voice was smooth with a slight rasp, similar to warm dark chocolate with a shot of whiskey mixed in â it was just⌠peaceful.
It took over the other voices that were shouting in your head. All it took was the low whisper of those four words to dampen the screaming. Those voices were still there, but Neilâs made its presence known, and that was enough to get them to back off a little.
âI love you too, Oma. So so muchâŚâ
Your voice was still soft, but there was a strength that returned to it. It sounded fuller, not as hollow as it had before.
Omaha wasnât sure how long that would last, but he would take the win.
He pulled back after pressing another kiss to your forehead, and his hand moved to the side of your neck, his thumb caressing your jaw. âLetâs go in. We need some sleep so we can get up and pack.âÂ
You nodded, inhaling deeply to ground yourself before exiting the safety of the Jeep.
Neil smiled softly at you, hoping to get you to smile back. And you did⌠But he knew that youâd done it out of reflex rather than because you felt like smiling.
You turned your head and kissed the palm of his hand, squeezing the one you were holding before you pulled away completely and got out of the Jeep.Â
He sighed as your door shut, and he unbuckled himself, getting out to meet you at the front door.
After getting inside, you silently moved around the house.Â
Both of you had already rinsed your legs and feet of sand and emptied your shoes before leaving, so you didnât have to worry about that at all. So, you just quietly went to the kitchen and got your laptop before you walked towards your bedroom.
âHey,â Neil said, gently catching your arm as you walked past him. âIâm gonna take a shower before I go to bed. Do you want-â
âIâll shower after you. I want to make sure I get these tickets ordered, and that I can snag a decent flight time. Iâm hoping thereâs still some left for this morning.â Your voice was breathless, almost as if you had been holding your breath as you moved through the house. The words sounded rushed and rehearsed like you had been waiting for him to ask. Your mind was already set on showering separately.
All Omaha could do was nod. He could try to convince you to join him, tell you heâd wait for you to order the tickets â but your mind was made up.Â
âAlright, Iâll be quick.âÂ
âYou donât have to. Take as long as you need.â
Something in your voice and the way your eyes looked down at where his hand gripped your bicep made his stomach feel heavy.Â
You were reverting again. Going back to that corner he thought he had pulled you away from. Isolating yourself again when he was right there.Â
He was right there.Â
All you had to do was just let him sit with you. Or take his hand and let him pull you up.Â
You would talk to him when you were ready. He knew that. But he didnât like that you were trying to face this all on your own because you felt like you were alone. You werenât.Â
He was right there.
But he nodded, knowing if he pushed, you would back away or lash out like a scared and wounded animal. The opposite of what he wanted. âAlrightâŚâ
You gave him another closed-mouth smile and kissed his shoulder before settling in the bedroom.
He rubbed his face, a frustrated sigh left his lips before he shook his head to himself and went to the laundry room to toss two towels into the dryer before grabbing a clean one for himself.
Walking into the bedroom, he saw you sitting on top of the covers with your laptop on your desk tray as you bit your nails. He sighed sadly and walked over, grabbing a piece of gum from your vanity on the way.Â
He moved your hand away from your mouth, his grip gentle on your wrist as he held out the gum to you.
No words needed to be exchanged, just a silent moment between you both before he left you alone on the bed to take his shower.
Neil stood under the stream, the hot water drenching his hair and running down his face.Â
He avoided his music, knowing that it would do nothing to change his mood. He needed the silence â bask in the steam and the rhythmic beating of water on the titles around him.Â
His head fell back, letting the water pelt him in the face as he took deep breaths. In front of him, his hands balled into fists when he inhaled and relaxed as he exhaled.Â
Neil needed this. He needed this moment, to be alone and vulnerable behind the closed door â out of your sight.Â
There was irony in it; he knew that. The irony when he ran off to hide in the safety of the bathroom so you didnât have to see him break. Didnât have to watch him replay every moment over and over in his head. You were going through enough, and he wasnât about to let you see his hurt or his worry just yet. This wasnât about him, and he wasnât going to make it about him.
So, thatâs why he was here, standing under the showerhead with his eyes closed, the events on the beach replayed behind his eyelids like a movie.
******
His stomach churned as he watched the video from over your shoulder. The pleads of the young man not going unheard. Then, the sickening crack of the shield being driven into his chest. He heard it again and again⌠and again.Â
John Walker murdered someone. And the whole world saw it.
Rage drove up in his throat, slamming on the brakes and leaving a disgusting burnt taste on his tongue.Â
It was almost a metallic taste, a morbid mimicry of the paused frame that lit up your features.Â
Your expression seemed blank, shocked at the horrendous act. But your eyes told a different story.Â
As they scanned over your phone screen, Neil could see the pain creep in. He watched them crack, breaking as they reflected the blood-stained shield.
Your nose twitched subtly as your lip quivered. He glanced at your hands, noticing how they shook slightly. He doubted that you noticed the tremor, just staring with unblinking eyes at your phone.
âHoneyâŚâÂ
He wanted to get your attention but not startle you. Your fellow pilots began to stare, concern and pity etched on their faces. He needed to get you out of this, pull you away from the prying eyes and the inevitable questions they would bombard you with.
The squad would try to coddle you. Tip-toe around subjects to try not to make you cry. Or ask invasive questions that you werenât ready to answer. They meant well, sure, but it wouldnât help you. It wouldnât make this situation better. Nothing wouldâŚ
âDoll-â
You swallowed, your hands dropping to your sides as you excused yourself to trek up the sand wanting a moment alone. Your arm flexed as you had a death grip on your phone.
âOmaha, I didnât-â
âI know, Garcia,â Neil mumbled as he turned to keep an eye on you, his back to the bonfire. âI know.â
He kept his eye on you as you talked on the phone, most likely with Sam or Bucky, as the others tried to continue on with the party.Â
He watched your hands and your legs, noticing the near-perpetual bouncing of your left leg.Â
Neil hated this. Hated just standing here, just being some witness to the damage Johnâs actions caused. His emotions were collateral damage, only worsening with each minute he watched you stand there in pain.
He couldnât hear much, distant hissing and muffled sentences mostly. But then he heard you shout, your arm flying out to the side.
âYou promised me, Sam! You gave me your word!â
His heart shattered. Even from this distance, he could hear how broken your voice was, how it was strained with unshed tears.
He felt his nose burn, sniffling on reflex as he rubbed it with his index finger.Â
âVikander? You alright?â
Omaha hummed absent-mindedly in response, not processing the question or the voice that asked it.Â
âNeil, hey, are you okay?â
The hand on his shoulder pulled his attention from you, making him suck in a breath out of surprise. âWhat?â
Bob shot him a concerned look, âAre you okay? You looked like you zoned out for a second.âÂ
*****
His conversation with Bob is a blurry memory.
All he remembers is taking his eyes off you for what felt like a second to talk to Bob and take a sip of the water offered to him. By the time he turned back around to check on you, you had walked down to the shore.
He felt his stomach sink again as he remembered how your arms had been wrapped around your waist, how your shoulders moved up and down with your deep breaths. And how when he approached you, you scolded yourself for crying as you tried to subtly wipe at your tears.
You tried to lie and say you were fine, hiding your tears when he pushed you ever so slightly. You pushed back, dismissed your own feelings and held your hurt in.Â
Neilâs tears mixed with the water running down his face.
But he didnât care that he was crying. He didnât care that he was crying over something he couldnât fix. Something that was tearing you apart from the inside out, but you hid from him â hid from yourself. You were hurting, and it hurts him that you donât think you can be vulnerable.
So, he didnât care that he was crying because it was you â he loves you that much.
His shower was a little longer than normal, but he didnât think you would really mind right now.Â
He just went through his routine on autopilot as his mind wandered and raced, recapping the evening. He ended it with a cold shot, letting the freezing water cool his heated skin and hopefully soothe his aching heart.
Omaha got out and dried off, moving languidly as he kept zoning out.
He wasnât sure what state he would find you in when he walked into the bedroom. That scared him. This whole situation scared him because he had no idea what to expect next. He didnât know what you were going to do when you got to DC or when you saw John Walker.Â
It all just made him uneasy.Â
But he knew that he just had to trust you. Though he wasnât going to abandon his concerns if he felt that something was dangerous. Heâs your partner; your safety matters to him.
After he dried off and got dressed in his boxers and Navy shirt, he exited the bathroom as he ran the towel over his hair.
âYou might want to give it a minute or two. Let the hot water replenish a little,â he said as nonchalantly as possible.
He didnât hear a response, so he looked up to catch the tail end of your nod.Â
âI got the tickets order. Flight leaves at about ten in the morning,â you responded softly, picking at your lip as you looked at your computer screen. âUm, San Diego International is the airport. Itâs the closest but weâll need to get up earlier so we can pack.â
Neil tried not to sigh out loud at your subject change. He knew you werenât doing it on purpose; you were just trying to keep what you could in line and control whatever you could. He also knew the frustration in him wasnât caused by you.Â
He nodded and sat on your side of the bed, trying not to look at your computer screen knowing he would find articles about John on your screen.
âBaby,â he called softly, hoping you would look up at him. When you didnât, he repeated the nickname: âBaby, please look at me.âÂ
When your eyes remained glued to your screen, he closed the laptop and grabbed your desk tray, moving it to your actual desk.
âOkay, no, youâre not gonna do that.â
âNeil-â
âNo, Y/N,â he pushed, sitting in front of you. âYou canât do that because it is not going to help. You are just going to go further and further down a hole that I canât pull you out of.â
He grabbed your hands, knowing that you would try to run away if he didnât. âI get that you're frustrated. That youâre pissed off. I get it, baby. But reading articles that are full of more opinions than they are fact is not going to help you.â
You swallowed and looked at him, âPeople think he was justifiedâŚâ
His heart shattered right then in his chest. Your defeated and tear-filled voice crashed into it, sending shards of his heart into his throat.
âHow could they find murder justified? John had no right-â He stopped mid-sentence when he noticed that you werenât looking at him.Â
He cupped your chin, turning your head back to look at him and moving his hand to your cheek when you did. âThat man did not deserve to die. Flag Smasher or not, he did not deserve that. John had no right to kill him.â
âNicoâŚâ
He looked at you, confused. âWhat?â
Tears filled your eyes, your voice coming out in a soft whimper. âHis name was NicoâŚâ
âSweetheartâŚâ
âHe was murdered⌠All because he wanted to help people. Thatâs all they want to do is help people, Neil.â Your voice cracked as he watched anger fill your eyes, âHe left behind two sisters⌠Two girls who watched their brother get murdered. They got notified of his death through fucking social media. His murder is viral.âÂ
He stayed quiet, letting you go until you stopped yourself â willing to listen as long as you got your feelings out to him.
âSure, the Flag Smashers methods arenât ethical, and Karli hasnât been a saint. But theyâre the only ones actually willing to do anything to help those people. The GRC isnât doing shit!â
He didnât know what to say. He didnât think there was much he could say.Â
You pulled your hand from his, rubbing your face harshly.Â
âIâm sorry, Iâm sorry. That⌠I didnât mean to blow up on you like that.â
Neil shook his head immediately, resting his hand on your knee. âNo, donât apologize. You donât have to bottle it up.âÂ
You gave him a weak smile, resting your hand on top of his. He smiled back at you reassuringly before he turned his palm up and kissed your hand.
You just sat like that for a moment. Your hand in his as the water rolled off his dark hair and onto the duvet, letting the silence settle between you for a moment.
âThey think heâs justified because Lemar was killed during a fight⌠They see it as retribution for that,â you said softly after a few minutes while you played with his fingers.Â
Omaha shook his head and opened his mouth to say something, but you continued.
âIt wasnât even Nico that killed Lemar. Karli wasâŚâ
He squeezed your hand, âSo then itâs not retribution. And one injustice does not fix another.âÂ
You shook your head, looking down at your joined hands. âIt doesnâtâŚâ
A tear hit Neilâs hand, making his heart break â again. But he didnât make a huge scene. He didnât point it out. All he did was reach out and gently wipe the tear from your cheek. âWhy donât you go shower, Star-light? The water pressure is nice, and it should all be warmed up now. Iâll heat up your towel and hair towel in the dryer. What do you want to wear to bed?â
You sniffled and leaned into his hand. âOne of your oversized shirts and a pair of your boxers, please.â He nodded and kissed your forehead, âYou got it, doll.â
âThank you, Oma, really.â
âYou donât gotta thank me,â he squeezed your hand. âJust go take a shower, relax. Iâll be out here if you need me.â
You nodded and gently pecked his lips, âI love you.â He kissed you back, âI love you too.â
Taking a deep breath, you got up and went to the bathroom, leaving Neil on the bed.
He sat on the bed and waited to hear you turn the shower on before he started moving around the room.
After grabbing the clothing items you asked for and his phone, he went to the laundry room.
He sighed heavily as he tossed the clothes in with the towels and started the dryer, hoping that they would be warm by the time you were done in the shower.
âOkay, now what toââ
Mid-sentence, Neilâs phone started ringing. He didnât need to check the caller ID to know who it was.
âHey BobâŚâ He answered, his voice flat to try and conceal the relief of someone to talk to.
âHey, I was just calling to check-in. See how you both were holdinâ up.â
Neil sighed, his arm crossing over his chest as he leaned against the washing machine. âHonestly? Not great. I um⌠I caught her looking at articles.â
Bob inhaled sharply on the other end of the phone, âThatâs not goodâŚâ
âNo, no, itâs not⌠There are so many who agree with Johnâs actions and others that donât. But theyâre all just opinions. No one is going to know all the facts. They only know what they saw in that video. And what they saw was John murder someone with the shield in the middle of the town square.â
Omaha harshly ran his teeth over his bottom lip, âI donât know what to do, Bob. Sheâs hurting, and she wonât talk to me. Sheâs said a few things, but the closest I got to her emotions was her voice⌠Then she fucking apologized for talking about it. What do I fucking do?â
âWhat youâre doing, Neil. Being there for her. Sometimes, thatâs all you can do.â
âThatâs not enough!â
âNeil, I know youâre angryâŚâ
That was the understatement of the century.Â
Neil was pissed. Someone hurt you. Someoneâs careless and selfish actions have hurt you â again.
Someone has taken you from him. Their actions have caused you to internalize your feelings and put your guards up all over again. Making you hide from your safe places.
And that started a fire in him.
âIâm more than angry, Robert. She is hurting. She has to mourn the memory of her father after mourning him the first time!â
Neil tends to hold resentment towards the one that hurt you, Bob knew that. He still holds resentment towards your dad for what he did to you. No one will get away with trying to smother out his Star-light.
And now John was at the top of his list.Â
âWalker had no right to murder that man â even if he were to be the one to kill Lemar. Retribution or not, itâs still fucking murder. And John wonât get away with this.â
Neil couldnât give less of a fuck if he was Captain America or not. John wasnât getting away with hurting you or disrespecting something that held so much meaning for you.
Bob sighed again, most likely putting his glasses on his head to rub his eyes. âOmaha, you know she wonât want you to get involved in this⌠Sheâs keeping things to herself for a reason. And while you donât like it, sheâs protecting you and herself by doing that.â
âI just want to be there for her. I want her to come to me so she doesnât face this on her own,â Neilâs voice cracked as tears slipped down his cheeks. âI want to be her safe place againâŚâ
âThat is never going to change, Neil. Never. You will always be her safe place. And she knows that when she is ready, she can run to you, and youâll be there with open arms. She just needs to process this on her own⌠give her time.â
Neil nodded, wiping his eyes harshly as he tried to regain his own composure.Â
âYour feelings are justified, Neil. You are allowed to be upset, too. So donât think that you being scared or upset about her closing herself is selfish or anything, because itâs not.â
Omaha couldnât help but let out a small chuckle, âAre you sure youâre not a mind reader, Bob?â
âWell, Nick Furyâs not on my doorstep, so Iâm gonna stick with no,â Bob laughed.
A beat of silence passed before Neil spoke up.
âHey, weâre leaving for DC tomorrow morning. Do you think you could go grab my Jeep from the airport and bring it back to the house? Y/N can leave her spare key somewhere for you. And maybe just look after the house since you're only a few houses down?â
âOf course, I can do that for you.â
âThanks, man.â Neil sighed and looked back toward the bedroom. âI better get going. Calm myself down before she gets out of the shower.â
âAlright, good luck. Call me if you need anything.â
âWill do. Thank you.â
Both hung up, and Neil wiped his face before going back to the bedroom to wait for you to get out of the shower.
You sighed as you tossed and turned in your bed, your body becoming restless the moment you thought you were comfortable. You thought the shower wouldâve calmed you down, but the stress was eating at your nerves and making your stomach churn constantly.Â
The anxiety was making you feel hot, your already naturally high body temperature rising as your mind ran at a million miles a minute.
Huffing, you threw the cover off of you and got out of bed.Â
Your feet drug as you took yourself to the kitchen.Â
You got a glass of ice water before going to the living room and sitting in the corner of the couch.Â
Sleep wasnât coming to you anytime soon, not with all the thoughts running through your mind⌠So you sat on the couch and looked out of your sliding glass doors at the moonlit backyard.
Your eyes felt heavy with tears. They were tears of frustration and anger. Tears of heartbreak. It was all so much, and being left alone with your thoughts was probably the worst situation you could have put yourself in. But you couldnât go anywhere or talk to anyone about this. They wouldnât understand anyway.Â
Tears weighed down your lash line, blurring your vision as you zoned out completely. They slowly overflowed, breaking the surface tension and tracking down your face.
But you werenât crying.Â
No. Crying involved you actually feeling something, and right now⌠numbness was overtaking it all. Pushing everything from the last few hours into one blurry mess of static.
You didnât have time to cry⌠you had a mission to complete.
The next morning, Neil woke up to see you moving around the room and packing bags for both of you.
He glanced over and checked the time, seeing just how early it was, âWhat time did you get up?â You didnât look up from what you were doing as you answered him, âDidnât sleep.âÂ
âStar-lightâŚâÂ
âOma, Iâm fine. If I need to sleep, Iâll sleep,â you said, still shoving things into your bags.
You didnât need sleep. Sleep was the furthest down on your list of needs. What you really needed was to get on a plane and get to DC so you could confront the hurricane of emotions that were swirling through your being.
You needed to release the fermenting anger and frustration; it was poisoning you, and you knew it. But you were too damn stubborn, wanting to hold it in and take it out on the true cause of it.
Dumping it all on Omaha or your friends wasnât fair, not in your eyes. It wasnât justice in them either. John wasnât going to miss your wrath. Heâd been on your radar since he took up the mantle, and now you were trying to get a missile lock.
That was justice.
Neil sighed and got out of bed, ruffling his hair as he walked over to you. âI know youâre a super soldier, but youâre not invincible. Your body can only handle so much. You need to sleep.â He wrapped his arms around you, âI just-â
âNeil, I donât want to talk about it right now,â you huffed, leaning on the duffels in front of you.Â
âI know, and Iâm not trying to get you to talk about it. I know youâll come to me when youâre ready. But Iâm not just gonna abandon my duties as your boyfriend. Iâm still gonna make sure you take care of yourself because I love you.â
You sighed and dropped your head back onto his shoulder, âI know⌠I know, Iâm sorry.â He kissed your temple, âDonât apologize. Youâre going through a lot. But Iâm gonna make sure youâre taken care of.âÂ
Sniffling a little, you rest your hands on top of his. âThank you, honey⌠I justââ
You were cut off by your phone ringing.Â
You huffed again and went over to pick it up. âHello?... No comment.â You hung up and shoved your phone into your sweatpants pocket.Â
âThat was fast,â Neil pointed out as he started packing whatever was left.
Rubbing your forehead, you sat on the bed as you sighed, âYeah, that is the⌠fifth? Maybe the sixth reporter to call me for a statement on all of this. I canât turn my phone off, so I just answer and say, âno commentâ. This has been going on since 4 this morning.â You felt your phone go off with a short ring in your pocket.Â
Neil opened his mouth to say something but you held a hand up, âDonât get me started on the emails.â
He just nodded with a playful smile and continued to pack.
You both sat in silence for a little bit, but Omaha broke it when he noticed you were fidgeting.
âHey, whatâs going on? Youâre a little more fidgety than you usually areâŚâÂ
Last night, as you evaded sleep, it occurred to you that Neil had no idea that John was a super soldier. You hadnât told him that very important detail last night. It didnât change your mind, but keeping your boyfriend in the dark about that wasn't fair.
You swallowed, playing with the worn cuffs of your hoodie, âThereâs umâŚâ You scratched your brow, âI didnât tell you everything last nightâŚâÂ
He stopped packing and came over to stand in front of you, âThatâs okay, you donât have to tell meââÂ
âNo, this,â you nodded as you kept your head down, looking at your lap. âThis I need to tell youâŚâÂ
âDoll, youâre worrying me⌠whatâs wrong?âÂ
You looked up at him, swallowing your nerves before speaking, âJohn took the serum⌠heâs a super soldier now.âÂ
Neilâs eyes widened as he took a few steps back, his lips parting slightly in shock.
âIâm sorry?â
It wasnât a question. Not really. His brow was furrowed, and his hands were up as he tilted his head, but he wasnât really asking.
He let out a dry chuckle, âDid you just say that John Walker, the man youâre about to fly to DC to confront, was a um⌠was a super soldier? Or-or am I hearing things? I really, really hope thatâs not what you just said.â
âYou heard right⌠John took the serum,â you played with your fingers, looking down at your lap.
Neil put his hands on his hips and nodded, âOkayâŚâ He wiped his mouth before pressing his lips into a thin line and rolling them between his teeth.Â
He took in a deep breath through his nose, attempting to keep his voice steady as emotion began to rise in his throat. He knew his hands would start shaking at any minute, so his voice couldnât break or waiver and ruin how serious he was.
âYou knew⌠You knew, and you were still gonna confront him? At probably the most emotionally unstable point in his life! Are you insane?!â
You winced a little and rubbed your face as he started to pace back and forth. âOma-â âWere you even gonna tell me?â Neil cursed himself for the breathy, almost dejected tone that began to work its way into his voice.Â
You looked up, desperation for understanding in your eyes. âYes but-â
âWhen? Before or after you got yourself killed?â
You stood up, frustrated that he wasnât letting you explain yourself, âI can handle myself, Neil.âÂ
âItâs not about that Y/N! Itâs about whether or not John is capable of murder! And as we learned last night, he absolutely is!âÂ
You scoffed and put your hands on your hips, pointing an accusatory finger at your boyfriend, âYou just donât think that I can do it! You donât think I can handle this, do you?âÂ
He stayed silent, his brown eyes avoiding you as he tongued his cheek.
Your heart dropped to your feet, and your hands fell limp at your sides. âYou actually donât think I can do thisâŚâ
He hung his head, âThis is dangerous, Y/N. John isnât just some dickhead with a shield anymore⌠Heâs angry, and Iâm sure whatever the council has to say to him canât be good.âÂ
In a flash, your anger resurfaced. âA shield? A shield?! Itâs more than just âa shieldâ, Neil! Itâs THE shield! The shield my father earned! The shield that was made for him! For HIM! Not John! My dad worked for that shield, he earned it! John was handed the shield! So donât just call it âa shieldâ because it is so much more than that! And you know that!â
Neil flinched a little at your volume, not expecting you to react that way, but not shocked by it either. âYouâre right, sweetheart, Iâm sorry. I didnât mean it like that. Iâm justâŚâ
Finally, he met your eyes, and you could see the emotion swirling in them. âIâm scaredâŚâÂ
You swallowed and stayed silent, your anger smothering out as your expression softened.
âAn-and I get that confronting him is the best way for you to get your feelings and emotions out⌠But we know what John is capable of. We know that he can and will kill someone with the slightest bit of provoking. You are going to be his antagonist, and that scares the shit out of me.â
âI can handle John, NeilâŚâ You protested quietly, still hurt by the fact he thought you couldnât.Â
He sighed and rubbed your arms before tilting your head up. âItâs not that I donât think you can. Youâre quite literally the strongest person I know. But Iâm scared, Y/N, and Iâm not apologizing for being worried for your safety. I just need you to be safe.âÂ
You sniffled, âIâm not changing my mind⌠I canât let him slip by, thinking that I donât know what he did. He has to know-â You looked away as emotion clogged your throat. âHe has to know, Neil. He has to know that I know.â
He gently turned your head back to face him, âI know. And Iâm not asking you to change your mind. The bastard deserves to see the pain he caused. All Iâm asking is that youâre careful and you really think about your approach. I love you too much to keep in my concerns.âÂ
You nodded before wrapping your arms around him. âI love you too. I love you so much.â You pulled back and pressed a kiss to his lips, âIâll try my best to be careful. But I canât make you a promiseâŚâ He nodded, âThatâs all I ask.âÂ
Omaha pecked your lips, âCâmon, we got a flight to catch.â
how do you even describe this...
other than just pain and anger.
star is kicking herself more than she probably should be and omaha is just trying to keep her as safe as he can...
but how will confronting walker turn out?
hi guys! i just want to thank you again for your incredible patience. i can not and will not promise you when the next part will be up and ready to go. but i will be working on it to get it out to you guys đ
lt rogers tags <33 (i apologize if i missed anyone if i did please remind me in the comments):
@milesdickpic @roosterscockpit @luckyladycreator2 @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @twsssmlmaa
@malindacath @startrekfangirl2233 @indigodaydream @that-one-random-writer @hangmansgbaby
@nikkipea @a-court-of-roscoe-and-baby @yourlocalloser-core @mimi-8793 @scalesarenotbalanced
@carnationworld @bethabear12
#lieutenant rogers universe#lieutenant rogers#rogers!reader#neil omaha vikander#neil vikander#neil omaha vikander x rogers!reader#neil vikander x reader#omaha x reader#dagger squad x reader#dagger squad#top gun maverick#marvel#marvel/top gun maverick#crossover au#crossover#the falcon and the winter soldier#tfatws#call sign: star#push your limits#holding onto the past; letting go of the future#earn it#birds and promises#good afternoon ladies and gentleman this is your savior (lover) speaking#shield of injustice#tw: death#tw: murder#tw: isolation#sarahsmi13s
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never leave this bed
đŠđđ˘đŤđ˘đ§đ : husband!jeon wonwoo x curvy!f.reader
once your husband returns from a long trip you want nothing more then to stay in bed together.
đ đđ§đŤđ(đŹ): romance, established relationship
đđŽ(đŹ): non idol
đ°đ¨đŤđ đđ¨đŽđ§đ: 1.6k
đđŤđ˘đ đ đđŤ đ°đđŤđ§đ˘đ§đ đŹ: very fluffy, theyâre both super in love with each other, mentions of past body insecurities, wonwoo is obsessed with his wives curvy body, mentions of have having children in the future, smut warning below the cut.
đŤđđđ˘đ§đ : explicit, smut, 18+
đđ§: this is a part of my series Iâm going to writing with the SVT boys as husbands called âmy only oneâ.
đđđđđđđđ¤ đđ§đ đŤđđđĽđ¨đ đ°đ˘đđĄ đđđ đŹ đđŤđ đ đŤđđđđĽđ˛ đđŠđŠđŤđđđ˘đđđ đ°đĄđđ§ đ˛đ¨đŽ đŤđđđ đ¨đ§đ đ¨đ đŚđ˛ đđ˘đđŹ.
đŹđŚđŽđ đ°đđŤđ§đ˘đ§đ đŹ: big dick wonwoo, soft dom wonwoo, needy mc, pussy stretching, unprotected sex (mc is on birth control), breeding kink, mention of impregnating the reader, wonwoo is obsessed with his wifeâs thick thighs, body worship, size kink, dirty talk, overstimulation, nipple play, fingering, cockwarming, alluding to shower sex
Rolling over you cuddled into your husband chests. Your face nuzzled into the crook of his neck. He couldnât help the smile that formed on his lips as you wrapped your arm around his strong chest. Youâre both completely naked from the long night you spent together.
You had been married for two years and neither of you had ever been happier in your lives. You had met because you were friends with Mingyu and he had introduced them to each other. Mingyu had told Wonwoo he found his future wife from him, and to this day Mingyu tells everyone you got married because of him.
Wonwoo was home from a two week long work trip. You had decided to spend the day in bed just enjoying each other.
Slowly you pressed your lips to his neck, and put your leg over his stomach. You were basically laying on top of him, but he didnât care. He always told you he loved when you laid on him. According to him you weigh nothing. Your soft stomach and thick thighs strongly disagree with him. Anytime you even got slightly insecure about your body your husband would immediately let you know how attracted to you he is.
Gripping your thigh he held her close. His fingers gently kneading your flesh. This man has always had a fascination with your thighs. âWeâre not getting out of bed today,â he said as you pressed your lips to his neck again. Leaving a trail of open mouth kisses. You wonder if he'll mind you leaving a mark.
âNope Iâm staying right here,â you murmured against his neck.
Slowly he ran his hand up and down your thigh holding you close. He couldnât get enough of his wife. He hated going on work trips and being away from you. But you made coming home truly worth it. Even if it was just spending the day in bed cuddling. If you had your way your husband would have been naked the moment he walked in the door.
He got in at eleven at night and the moment the front door was locked you practically jumped him. You didnât even let him take you to bed. A sea of clothes littered the living room as you sat naked on your husbandâs lap. His huge cock snug inside you as you kissed anywhere your lips could reach.
Once he finally got you in bed he told you he desperately wanted to just hold you. Who were you to say no to his request?
âI love you so much,â he smiled.
âI love you too,â you said, moving so you could look at him.
Looking toward his wife he smiled and leaned down and pressed his lips to yours for a gentle kiss. âYouâre perfect,â he said, resting his nose against yours. His loving words caused you to smile. Finding Wonwoo was the best thing that had ever happened to you. The love he had for you was like something you could only dream of.
âWhat if we just never left this bed?â You asked, leaning back onto the bed away from Wonwoo.
âI would never leave this bed if I didnât have to work,â he rolled onto his side and propped his head up on his hand and looked over at you as you stared up at the ceiling.
âIt's a shame you canât just work from home everyday. I need my husband to stay in bed with me forever,â you smiled. In a dream world he wouldnât have to travel so much for work.
You knew when you got together there were going to be times he had to leave for long work trips. You knew about the details of his job from the moment Mingyu introduced you. He might be gone often, but you knew no matter what he was always gonna come back to you after his trips.
âYou look so beautiful in the morning,â he said, causing your cheeks to flush.
âYou are literally the perfect man,â you rolled onto her side so you were staring at each other.
âI want to be the perfect man for you. Now come back over here and lay on me again,â he rolled on to his back again. He never missed a chance to feel your body weight on him.
A soft laugh passed your lips as you moved over and cuddled back into your husband. You rested on his chest and your arm was resting across his stomach.
âWeâre not leaving this bed today,â you sighed with a little smile.
âIâm only getting out of bed to take you in the shower, and to possibly eat.â Of course this man is already thinking about shower sex. That might be his favorite to take you other than your bed. Lifting your thigh you put more weight back on his stomach. âBaby I know I said I want to cuddle, but I want to be inside you so badly.â
His words earn a laugh from you. âHow do you plan on making that happen? I thought you wanted to cuddle?â
âLay on your back for me baby.â
Listening to his request you lay on your back and spread your legs without him having to ask. Laying on his side pressed up against your side, his fingers dip between your legs. His index finger plays with your clit while he rubs his growing erection against your thigh.
âYou feel so good,â he groans against your skin. You canât even respond, you just moan as he starts pumping two fingers in your already wet hole. âI need to stretch you out, little baby. Iâm not going to fit if I donât prep you.â In the beginning of your relationship that statement wouldnât be wrong. Wonwoo has the biggest dick youâve ever taken before. When you first started dating you couldnât jump into having sex without him giving you some foreplay. Now four years into your relationship youâve grown accustomed to the stretch of him filling you for the first few thrust.
âI donât need prep. You fucked me like two hours ago,â you moan.
âSomeone is needy,â he laughs. The hill of his palm continues to rub against your sensitive clit. Hooking his fingers he rubs the spot inside of you that has you seeing stars. âJust come one my hand once and Iâll fuck you nice and slow from behind.â Wonwoo never misses an opportunity to take you from behind. âAll you have to do is cum once.â He whispers.
Closing your eyes, rolling your head back, your whole body feels like itâs tightening as you get closer to the edge.
Gasping his name you fall apart on his hand. Your walls contract around his fingers. His hands continue to thrust in and out of you slowly helping you ride out your high.
âLay on your side baby.â Following his request you lay on your side facing away from him. He pushes your knee up giving him access to your wet core. His large hand kneads the flesh off your ass pressing himself against you.
âPlease donât tease me.â You just want your husband to fuck you already.
âSo needy,â heâs running his hardened length through your folds. âAre you stretched out enough for me?â
âPlease fuck me,â you moan. Each time his length brushes your clit you see stars.
Taking himself in his hand he slowly pushes into you. He fills you completely. His pelvis is pressed up firmly against your ass. His hand gropes your breast as he moans in your ear. He gives you a moment to adjust to his size.
Rolling your head back you canât help but moan. His pace is slow. A trail of love bites are being left against your bare shoulder.
âHarder,â you whisper. You want the slow pace but just harder. He listens to you without another word. Rolling his hips into you over and over again. The roam is filled with echoing sounds of whimpers and moans.
âWon-â you canât even properly form his name.
âDo you want me to fill you up?â His hand moves from your breast down to your pussy. His fingers toy with your clit earning a moan.
âPlease.â
âDo you want me to put a baby in you?â This has been one of your husbandâs favorite things to bring up in bed now. You are ready to have a baby with him. His new breeding kink has definitely worn off on you.
âIâm going to cu-â your body feels like a live water as your orgasm washes over you. âWonwoo-â your hand grips his hand thatâs playing with your clit. Overstimulation kicks in as he keeps thrusting into you over and over as your high continues.
âIâm going to fill you up,â he groans.
He continues his slow but firm pace. Your hand clings to his hand. Your eyes roll back in your head as another orgasm hits you like a ton of bricks. âWonwoo-â
The way he moans your name as he cums, painting your walls white is absolutely intoxicating. His hands dig into your hips holding your flush against him.
âWe might need to get out of bed to shower,â you say, earning a soft laugh from him.
âGod I love you.â He kisses your shoulder gently.
âI love you too.â
Heâs still inside you and the way he is holding you you donât think he plans on pulling out. You have no problem staying in bed cockwarming your husband for a while.
If you have asked to be tagged I request that you please reblog. If you could leave comments and or tags that would be greatly appreciated.
#svthub#SVT smut#seventeen smut#wonwoo smut#jeon wonwoo smut#wonwoo x reader#husband wonwoo#wonwoo x you#wonwoo insert reader#seventeen x you#kpop smut#seventeen fanfiction#wonwoo fanfiction#wonwoo x plus size reader#seventeen x plus size reader#wonwoo x chubby reader#wonwoo
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The Ex and Why's
Summary: No one knows much about Simonâs life aside from what was listed on his files. The family that had died a tragic death, the trauma that came with his actions, and the rank that made him what he was today. No one had realized that behind the balaclava wearing man from Manchester was a man that once had a heart and signed divorced papers he had constantly regretted signing all those years ago.. Character: Simon "Ghost" Riley x Ex Wife!Reader. John Price. Kate Laswell. Johnny "Soap" MacTavish. Kyle "Gaz" Garrick Word Count: 9,787 Chapter Warnings:Â Angst with Happy Ending. Miscommunication. Mention of Minor Character Deaths. Mention of Divorce. Life threatening Injuries. Mention of Simon's tragic past and trauma. Not edited (sorry!) AN: I can now sleep in peace. If you enjoyed it why not visit my mini celebration and post your own requests I can write just like this.
Masterlist || Request are Open || 500 Followers Celebration
When you had learned about this new job, one thing you had so gotten used to doing was letting Simon know about it. But not this time, something about letting him back into your life wasnât something you should do anymore. You were no longer married to him by your own choice and no one elseâs. So you know it was time to wear your big girl pants now and stopped letting him know about it.
You no longer had any reason to give your ex-husband any updates about your life. A more selfish reason was how you just wanted to start a new life, away from him and away from anything that was related to him.
âMs. Riley?â
You turned smiling at the man that would now be your new boss. You learned his name to be John Price, a Captain.
Being married to a man like Simon Riley once upon a time, you know some thing or two about what goes on inside of a military base. Even when he hasnât talked much about it with you during your relationship or if he even gone as far as mention your existence to the people he had once worked with. You chalked it up to overprotectiveness and fear that they would get to you, and some night thing that he was simply embarrassed about you. Maybe itâs another reason why you had opted out of telling him about this new job of yours.
âCaptain Price, itâs good to finally meet you.â You firmly shook the manâs hand. A good first impression was the best thing for you to do if it meant making sure you work for the man for the foreseeable future.
âLikewise, Laswell as spoke great things about you and Iâm hoping to be able to experience it firsthand.â
You nodded with a smile. Working for Kateâs wife for nearly a few years beforehand, you had appreciated the suggestion for this new role as a secretary for the Captain ever since your divorce. She had understood you needed this change in pace in your life and this was much of a welcome change.
âI do hope itâs all good things.â You quipped right back earning a deep resonating chuckle from the older man.
âWell I think now that introductions as over and done with, let me show you to my office. I do hope youâre up for dealing with a handful of documents for me on your first day.â
âMore than happy to.â You beamed following the man, his larger hand holding onto the small of your back as you began your journey into the heart of the base.
All throughout the walk, he was giving your directions to where most things were. You were warned how some men could be rowdy at time and he was more than happy to help in the off chance that any of his men would give you problems.
All you could do was smile, not wanting him to know that you were more than well equipped to punch or kick anyone that would get too handsy with you. One of the perks of having an ex-husband working for the military.
He continued on with how things go around in the base. Schedules for meal time and the curfew in the event that you would be staying in the base overnight. He had also showed you to where your new room would be located in.
âYou would be a few rooms away from my own as well as the Lieutenant and Sergeants that I trust most. In the event that Iâm unavailable, they will be more than willing to lend you a hand if you need it.â
You nodded before you finally arrived in his office. Opening the door for you, you were greeted with a spacious office. Even in the chaos of the military base, the manâs office was pristine, a few knick knacks and photos that littered his walls, as well as a bookshelf that housed an array of military strategies books. But the most alarming thing about his office was the other table that housed stack upon stacks of folders, papers practically spilling out from each and every single one of them.
âI may or may not have underestimated the help I truly need in this situation.â The Captain said sheepishly as you began opening the folders and gasped that most of them werenât even ordered correctly even with the page numbers printed on them.
âI think I can manage this.â You blinked hoping you didnât bite more than you could chew in this moment.
For the next few hours, your time was spent removing staplers upon staplers from the papers for each and every single one of the folders while you were inquiring to John the calls you would be fielding for him from now on and how he would want you to deal with it.
You had learned so much about the man in the few hours being in the same room as him. He was a man that wanted to ensure the safety of the world, even if it meant bloodying his hands up a little just to make sure of it. It showed with some of the missions reports that you may or may not have accidentally read too much into. Youâve also learned how much he hated talking to upper ranking officials if not needed, he was a man that hated authority yet he was working in the field that he was in right now from the way his comments about letting calls from upper ranks go to voice mail if possible.
âWill there be anything or anyone that I should be worried about for now?â You inquired making sure that you did not stir anyone in the wrong way if possible.
âIâm sure Laswell has told you enough to understand our work. Some men are more scarred than sane and if possible, I want you to make sure that you do not give anyone the wrong impression if possible.â
You know what he was implying and with your own experience you know far too well that getting yourself involved with another man in uniform would lead into.
âIâve done my fair share, Captain. I donât think that would be much of a problem with me.â You reassured him.
âLaswell told me you were divorced.â He began, huh, who would have thought the man would be the gossiping type.
âItâs been a few years,â You shrugged attention solely on rearranging the files at hand. âIt took months before my ex-husband signed the papers, I wanted to think it was because he was deployed but I knew otherwise.â You muttered.
When you had made the decision to finally break things off with Simon, it was like pulling teeth with the man and his near avoidance about the discussion or where you would be sending the divorce papers. You had enough of it, leaving the home you once shared instead with everything you owned and left nothing more of you than the divorce papers alongside the wedding ring and engagement ring he had given you all those years ago.
âHe was military too?â
âSomething like that.â You nodded not wanting to think too much about the man. Even after everything, you still worried about you giving the man too much information in the event that he works for the opposing side if the chance may have it.
âWell his lost is my gain.â He snorts turning his attention back to the freshly arranged folders courtesy of you that were now ready for his signature. âNo offense.â
âNone taken, Captain.â
Eventually the man had excused himself for a meeting and had instructed you that no one would be allowed inside aside from him. He had also reminded you about lunch which you could head on out first or you could join him once his meeting was done. Youâve decided it would be best to join him for lunch for now, just to get a feeling of anyone that you would get into contact with on your first day.
With a quick goodbye, you were left on your own and you all but groaned at the folders still stacked up and yet to be touched. It truly made you wonder how the man could be so good in his job yet be so horrible with his paperwork. You will never understand.
Your eyes fixated for a moment on one of the pictures on the wall. It was your boss with three individuals. A blue eyed man with a horrible cut Mohawk but the biggest beaming smile on his face, his arm wrapped around a much younger man with darker skin but a bright eyes that twinkled with happiness for whatever was going on when the photo was taken. But amongst the camaraderie and enjoyment was a man in a skull balaclava mask that had such an empty but somehow familiar eyes, the man stuck out like a sore thumb even with the Captainâs hand resting on the taller manâs shoulder and beaming smile and a cigar between his lips. It was an odd mix of people but it was like familyâit made you miss Simon for a moment before your attention got right back to the paperworks.
You canât think of him now. Not anymore.
After the events of Las Almas, Simon Riley had truly fought the urge to call you, to tell you how much you mean the world to him and how he was now more than willing to give you the compromise you had always longed from him. But a part of him, the bigger and much darker part of him had refused, slamming his own phone onto the wall in the sheer anger of everything that had occurred in the moment. You had made your choice because of his own action and he would be cruel to take that away from you.
âHeard Cap had a new Secretary, old manâs gonna finally keep his paperworks in check now.â Soap had ruining Simonâs sulking in the cafeteria.
Itâs been a grueling few days. With new recruits he was forced to deal with in the morning and nightmares that you no longer could vanish for him at night. His life was nothing more than misery personified and he has no one else to blame but himself.
âCanât say Iâm surprise. Laswell probably set it up for him.â Simon muttered being more than within earshot when he heard both Laswell and Price arguing about the manâs need for necessary help with files. It was Laswellâs decision above anything else, itâs just a matter of time if the secretary would actually last with how everything goes around here in the base.
âStill, hope weâll have a new bonnie around. Getting sick and tired of seeing Bampots all around.â
Simon didnât even had the energy to question the manâs slangs, his attention solely back on his cup of tea and lunchâhow horrible it was compared to your cup and cooking, but he never truly appreciated it until it was gone. His tea was too bitter even with the sugar and cream he added and the food that didnât have the special kick compared to your own cooking. Even years after the divorce he was still so miserable without you in his life.
âSteamin Jesus.â
Simon could practically hear Soap melt from where he sat in front of him, his eyes directed at whoever was behind Simon. His curiosity got the better of him and his head turned and he was welcomed with the last person he would have ever believed to be walking besides one John Price.
âYer lookinâ a bit peely wally.â Soap pointed out breaking Simon from his trance.
âEnglish, MacTavish.â
âYou look a lilâ pale, Lt. Like youâve seen a fucking ghost.â
Simon could have at this point. As you walked besides Price towards the table he sat in. He noticed how unaware you were even at the sight of him only for him to realize that you had never seen him with his mask on, or in anything that has to do with his line of workâuntil now.
âRight, I think itâs time to introduce this lovely lass.â Price cleared his throat but he should have known by now that both Simon and Soapâs attention were already on them both. âThis is Y/N Riley, my new secretary.â
Simonâs brows rose at that little tidbit. You still had his last name. He understood to a degree why you did soâyour family that you had long cut off from your life after what they had done to you, but after everything that had happened between the two of you he wouldnât have expect you to choose the lesser of two evilsâbeing his last name.
âRiley? She a sister or wife to you, Lt?â Soapâs quick remark earned him a glare from Simon before his attention was back to you, how your brows furrowed before your eyes finally widen in realization.
âPurely coincidence.â Simon muttered.
âThis is Sgt. Johnny âSoapâ MacTavish and Lt. Simon âGhostâ Riley.â Price introduced almost realizing at this point the similarity of the last name you both shared in this moment.
âNice to meet you two.â You smiled, quickly to compose yourself and shaking both menâs hand.
Even with the glove Simon wore, he could still feel the all too familiar electric shock of your touch against his own. He looked at you how easy your eyes dilated at his touch. It scared him still how you had so much of an effect on him even after the years apart from each other.
As you and Price excused yourselves to get lunch, it left Simon wondering if this was the world finally punishing him for everything he has done in his cruel life. Give him the very thing he had wanted the most only to pull it away at every instance.
âBloody fucking hell.â
Itâs been two weeks since youâve began your new job as Captain John Priceâs secretary. Two weeks since you had tried and succeeded in making sure you had avoided the man known in the base as Ghostâor to you, simply known as Simon Riley, your ex-husband. Every single instance that you were both placed in the same room (mostly in Priceâs office), you both acted like you didnât know each other, it was hard knowing just how close the man was after so long of a separation from each other.
But as much of an avoidance youâve made for the Lieutenant, the same could not be said for the two Sergeants that had been dead set in making themselves both your companion while in the base but as well as your guard dogs from the ballsy few that would dare ask you out on a date. You appreciated the effort as much as it was not needed knowing it earned a dangerous glare from your ex in the process.
âLooks like youâre right at home.â
You jerked your head up from the files you were arranging at the voice of an all too familiar woman. A smile rested on your face at the sight of one Kate Laswell, your former bossâ wife.
âKate.â You smiled an exhausted sigh escaping your lips at the sight of the woman. Both her and her wife had been the pair that knew what you had been through since your divorce and she was one of the two people that saw behind the façade you had decided to show the world.
âHow are you holding up?â She inquired.
âDoing better.â You assured her. âJust a slight problem but nothing I canât deal with now.â
âOh no. Is your ex-husband bothering you again? I told you to just say the name and Iâll find some dirt on him in a heartbeat.â
You chuckled, knowing how that would be close to impossible with the manâs stand and rank in the Taskforce.
âSimon Riley.â You said instead and watched the way her eyes widen upon realization.
âWhy did I not put two and two together?â She snorted realizing the small misjudgment on her part. âDoes John know?â
You shook your head. You didnât know how, but in the weeks of working at the base, you had been successful enough not to let the small detail spill. It was for both of your sakes and you feared that if you told the man, you would be fired and not him, not that you would want him to choose between the two of you.
âIt would be a shame if John couldnât keep you working for him because of your past with Ghost. Iâm actually able to see his files being sent to me on time for once and heâs less stress in this past week for once.â
You blushed, knowing that that was a compliment, something that was rarely spoken by one Kate Laswell in the years of working for her wife.
âI genuinely donât want to go either.â You spoke honestly. âEven with the situation.â
âWill you keep the information to yourself for now?â She inquired. âWhat does Ghost think of this?â
âI havenât talk to him since Iâve gotten here.â You spoke honestly. âAnd I think it would be better if donât talk to him about it either.â
âTalk to who about?â
Both of you had jerked your head towards the owner of the voice and it was Price with your husband, Soap, and Gaz in tow. You looked panicked at Kate hoping she could help you out this predicament with the man in the very room with them.
âMy wifeâs been asking how sheâs been holding up since the divorce and if sheâs gotten around to talking to her ex.â Kate brushed off and you wanted to face palm yourself, not the answer you were hoping for her to give.
âWait you were married?â Gaz piped in with surprise.
âWas.â You corrected, eyes glancing towards Simon for a moment before turning your attention right back to the younger man. âBut itâs nothing to worry about, you know how Kateâs wife is.â You tried your best to reassure everyone.
âWell that bloke lost something good thatâs for sure.â Soap quipped right back with a flirty wink. Youâve learned this was the default with the man. âRight Lt?â
Both you and Kate found yourself looking at the man and it somehow clicked to him that you both were now more than aware of the currently predicament that fell before you and without another word left the office, slamming the door behind him.
To this very day, Simon still canât understand why he had signed those papers. Why didnât he just talk with you and made a compromise. Instead he became an asshole that avoided any forms of communications with you until he was left with no other choice but divorce papers waiting for him at home and every single trace of you no longer in the home you two once shared.
In the deepest depths of his bedside drawer was the divorce papers that officially separated him from you, the two ring boxes that housed his wedding ring and the engagement ring he had bought for you. Around his neck, alongside his Dog tag was your wedding ringâthe same wedding ring you had left on top of the coffee table of your home, with the divorce papers right under it.
It was his fears that finally came to life and he truly didnât know why his body automatically signed without even reaching out to you first. To this day, in the years that has passed he still wonder what his life and relationship could be if he fought for your marriage.
Would he still be married to you right now? Would the two of you finally have the family you had always wanted? Maybe by now your first kid would have been three, he had always dreamed of having a daughter. A darling little girl that was a spitting image of you, a daughter he would protect with his life over and over again.
That could have been his life, but he was far too stupid for his own good. He was too much of a bastard that ruins everything good that comes into his life. He pays the price every single night he comes home to his apartmentâempty and lacked the warmth that only you could ever give to someone like him.
He made his bed and he was sleeping in tears because of it.
âThere he is, good youâve got your arse here, LT.â
Another one of the mistakes he seems to be making in his life was joining the rest of the team in the pub and realizing that you have come to join them this time around.
Bloody fucking hell you were as beautiful as the first day he had ever laid eyes on you. There was the twinkle in your eyes he had once thought he had diminished as you continued on with whatever conversation you were having with Gaz with Price listening on. You had on your favorite red crepe dress that slightly showed some cleavage but not enough to be indecent, with your favorite locket that he had brought for you while you were still dating, and the first ever expensive Cartier watch you had brought for yourself (which Simon would have more than willingly bought for you if you allowed it) while saving up your checks.
Fate was nothing but a cruel sick man for giving this sight of you in front of him and never allowing him the taste he always craved. A gift that wasnât his to acceptâanymore.
âYou know how traffic is, Johnny.â He muttered finding himself sitting beside the man and in the process finding himself sitting right in front of you in the process.
âBullshit,â Soap snorted. âStopped by a bonnie we didnât know about?â
Simon glanced towards you, the momentary hurt that passed through your eyes before you continued on with your conversation with Gaz, now hearing you were both talking about your Uni days and how you found yourself involved with working for Laswellâs wife all those years ago.
âDonât have the time nor the energy for another headache in my life.â He spoke realizing that it was the wrong thing to say with you in front of him. He could have said it if you were not here, but not in your presence, it diminishes every single thing he had ever had with you.
It wasnât what he meant but he couldnât truly take it back.
âI can second that.â You spoke finally meeting his eyes this time. An unrecognizable look in your eyes as you stared right at him. âAnd this is coming from someone thatâs already made a mistake of ever getting married to a man in the military.â
This has opened the floodgate for everyone in the table to question you about your apparent divorce. He had no one else to blame for this than himself. He listened in now as you continued on answering questions about your relationship with him and the eventual divorce, but made sure it was vague enough not to have fingers pointed at him.
âSo, you loved the man more than life itself and all that, why divorce?â Soap had asked the million dollar question.
âItâs gets tiresome to love someone that doesnât want to help himself.â You spoke honestly. âYear of trying to understand him, only to push shoved away over and over again, it hurts and it gets tiresome. I just had to go before the love turns to hate.â
In the years since the divorce, there was never closure between the two of you. The forms of communications that you both had were mostly about him being deployed again or of you and your plans of moving around or changing careers. Never did either of you had the much needed closure that you both deservedâuntil now, not directed at him.
âIf any of you ever attempt getting involved with a guy or girl make sure youâre serious about the relationship a hundred percent, not fifty, not seventy-five, not even fucking ninety. Because that small fraction youâre not giving them might be the very reason why everything falls apart.â
Simon finds himself blinking at the words that now escaped your lips. The downright resentment that still lingered in your tongue even after everything that had occurred between the two of you. He shouldnât have signed those fucking divorce papers.
Marriage Counseling, they should have had marriage counselling like you had begged from him all those years ago.
He stood, excusing himself to order the next round of drinks. He doesnât have it in him anymore to listen to your words cutting him to the very core.
One of the biggest mistake about accepting Priceâs offer of going out with the rest of the team for a quick drink was forgetting your non-existing alcohol tolerance. As the drink was now swimming through your blood stream, your lips become looser and there were few moments were you had almost spilled the fact that your ex-husband just happens to be sitting in front of you in the table you shared with the rest of 141.
âYou sure youâll be alright to head home on your own?â Your boss has inquired the moment it was announced the pub was closing up for the early morning.
You nodded with a smile, but the warmth that you were certain painted your skin and the dazed eyes, you were all too sure that it would be a big mistake for you to do. Go knows how dangerous it would be for a drunk like you to head home all on your own.
âIâll take her home.â Simon announced and before you could protest, John had nodded agreeing that it would be the best thing to do and you couldnât protest or show even a smidge of irritation as you were given a death glare by your ex-husband.
âThank you for letting me join you guys.â You spoke towards your boss, the giggly duo of Soap and Gaz. âIâll text once I get home.â You promised them following Simon out of the pub.
You took a deep breath as the cool morning air sobered you up for a moment as you waited for the man with his car. Frowning when you realized the man didnât have his car with him but rather his death machine known as his motorcycle.
âHere.â He muttered practically shoving an all too familiar helmet towards you.
Like quick work, you had put on the helmet, ensuring to adjust the strap before the man does. You were still unprepared to be in close proximity with the man but here you were.
Watching him pull down the foot peg, he turned to you waiting for you to ride himâride his motorcycle. With a deep breath you rode behind him, the skirt riding up your legs and he was quick to pull it down for your own decency before revving the engine on.
âHold on tight.â He ordered and your body was on autopilot as you wrapped your arms around his waist as he sped off.
You know it was the alcohol but you find yourself smelling him, the all too familiar smell of his musk and cologneâthe same cologne you had given him when he told you were promoted to Lieutenant. Your head rested on his back, cheek squished against the expansion of his back, feeling the way his back tense at your touch as it had the same effect for you feeling his warmth all over again.
âWhere?â He questioned you as the bike halted at the stoplight.
You slurred your words, but you did your best to tell him directions to where your apartment was. Your sober self would have slapped you at the back of the head for letting Simon know about your whereabouts, knowing it wasnât something he needed to know anymore.
For a moment as the winds blew against your cheeks, you were brought back to the memories of your time together. How you feared his driving and his bike more than anything else in the world but every single time he made sure you were at your safest with him, always did even in this moment.
You remembered the dates you would both have at night when he was at his most sleepless. By the park, your arms wrapped around him as his head rested on your shoulders. How you had carried so much of his nightmare even when you truly knew nothing but what he would let you know which wasnât much and would only be in the instance that you would have accidentally heard during his nightmares.
You remembered how tired you were as much as you loved him, how much he had meant the world to you in that very moment but slowly but surely it wasnât the same anymore. You felt the resentment before the anger for everything he wasnât willing to give you. You gave him everything thing but he could barely give you anything in return.
âWeâre here.â Simon announced, pulling away from him you turned and he was right. You were back in your apartment and you didnât realize how fast time has flown since as you were deep in your thoughts.
Hopping down the bike with the man helping you, you turned to him and your mouth moved before you could stop yourself.
âWant to head insideâfor coffee at least as a thank you?â
âI think coffee and a conversation would be the best thing for the both of us to do at this point in time, Love.â
You felt your pulse quicken as everything single thing you had talked about in the pub was coming back to bite you in the ass. Simon has his ulterior motive after all for wanting to escort you back home.
All you did was nod, heading to the door with the man following closely behind. You felt your hands shaking but you had succeeded in keying the door open. Opening the door for him, you walked further inside, opening the lights and toeing off the flats you had on.
You placed your wallet and keys on the coffee table and found yourself sitting on the couch waiting for the man to follow you.
You heard Simon close the door, the sound of the lock being turned and the sound of his leather jacket had you worried for what was to come.
âI fucking take you seriously with the bloody helmet still on your head.â He pointed out as he stood right in front of you, unclasping the helmet from your head and for the first time in a long time, you saw him up close and the way the darkness of his eye bags was the most prominent about himâit had gotten so much worse than when you were still married. Was it because of you?
âSorry.â You mumbled as you watched him place the helmet on top of the coffee table alongside most of your things.
âWhereâs the kitchen?â
You pointed towards you left and the man had made himself at him. The sound of cupboard being opened and the all too familiar muttering of horrible instant coffee you always wanted was heard. You wanted to let out a giggle but the sudden fear of the reality of your decision brought back something you never thought you would ever relive.
You sigh elbows digging onto your thighs, as your slumped your face into your hands. Why did you offer to have him here? Why did you accept the offer of him taking you back home? Why did you accept Kateâs offer of working for John? Why did you decide to divorce Simon?
In your own mini-panic attack, the smell of vanilla latte had you pulling away from your hands and you saw the cup of coffee already in the table and Simon was already sitting in front of you, without the surgical mask and without the figurative mask he was wearing at the base.
âWhy are you doing this to me?â He questioned.
âI donât know what youâre talking about.â
âOf all the places you could work why the base?â
âItâs not like I knew you were working for Price.â You snort. âIt was Kate that suggested I work thereâa new environment for me after everything that happened.â
Kate had called it her own version of exposure therapy. You truly appreciated her help even after knowing your ex-husband was working there in the same vicinity as you.
âYou could have left?â
You snort. Aside from everything that came with the military, the money was too good to leaveâbut that was not something you would want to discuss with Simon knowing his intent to still provide for you even with the ink on the divorce papers were still drying.
âWhy would I? You and I have nothing between us.â You spoke, knife sharp as his own words of calling you a headache to him.
âWhat you said to the team is that the real reason why you filed for divorce?â
All you could do was nod.
âYou could have talk to me that you werenât happy anymore we could have made it work.â
âNo you wonât, Si.â You shook your head, arms crossed against your chest, you feared the words that would be thrown between the two of you now especially at your state. âI would have made it work.â
âWhat do you want me to do then? What could I have done then? You say one thing but mean something else?â
âBecause every single time I wanted you to open up to me, you closed yourself up even more!â You spat right at him now. âDo you know how hard it was for me to bare myself to you about the shit in my life and in my family only to be reciprocated with how your family was fucked up but not an explanation for it?â
âThatâs none of your business.â His voice grows dark, it was a sensitive topic.
âThen why were we even married if it wasnât my business?â Your voice growing louder now, exasperated by this conversation. âWhat was the use of our vows if you would keep the smallest things a secret from me?â
âItâs not fucking small!â He screamed right back at you and you instinctively flinched at his voice then. Why was he being so cruel to you now?
âWhen I married you, I accepted you for who you are, I accepted that you canât truly tell me what your missions were about or about whatever details about your deployment were. But even just something, anything that would make me believe that I was something more than a whore you could fuck and a maid that would take care of the house and cook you fucking food would have been appreciated.â
âYou were my wife, wasnât that enough?â
âNo it was not, Simon.â You spat. âYou never made me feel like I was truly your wife when you shut yourself down after coming home to me. You werenât the same man that I had accidentally spilled coffee on when we first met.â
âIf you knew me for the things Iâve been through you wouldnât look at me the same way.â
âAnd how would you know that?â You questioned him. âHow could you think for me when you donât even know what I would think of you after everything weâve been through?â
âYou want to know the truth?â
âYes. Maybe that way I can finally move on from anything that has to do with you.â
You know that was the wrong thing to say as the man cracked his neck and began to talk. About his life, about the abuse he had to endure at the hands of his father. He began to talk about the new beginning of his life when his father died and everyone tried their best to recover. He told you of his mother that he loved more than anything else at that point, of his brother, of his sister-in-law, and of his young nephew Joseph.
He told you about how he was finally at peace with the trauma of his life back then before things gotten to hell and back. He told you of the man named Roba, he told you of the abuse he had to once again go through at the hands of Robaâs men, physically, mentally, and sexually. He told you why he hated confined spaced after being buried alive in a coffin with a man named Vernon, a rotten corpse that he had to use the jaw of to escape death.
He told you of the death of his family, of Marcus Washington killing his family. Killing his mother, his brother, his sister-in-law, and his nephew that didnât deserve being involved in anything the mission was about. He told you how he had to burn the bodies of what was left of his family and his identity in the process. You learned then why he was called Ghost and what it had meant for him and his past that continued to haunt him.
You were left stunned, unable to form words about everything that has happened to your husband. But it was the fact that now everything about him made sense. All the little things about his personality of why he was the man that sat in front of you today. It all made sense and it scared you that he was right. How you truly didnât know what to say or what to feel now that youâve learned of his past that he tried so hard to hide from you.
âHappy?â
âDonât be cruel, Simon.â You whispered now, the tears were slowly forming from your eyes now, you wanted to cry for him, to mourn the family that he had lost and for adding yourself into the pain he was now enduring.
âCruel?â He laughed, no humor in his words, malice was more evident. âWhatâs cruel is you still using my last name and airing out our dirty laundry to the men I work with instead of talking to me first.â
âIt doesnât matter anymore.â You shook your head, stung by his words. He was right but you werenât going to admit it right now. A small ounce of pride still clawing its way out of you. âAnd you know why I still used your last name.â
It was your family. You wanted to erase was little traces of your family remained. Even in the divorce, you always had it in mind to remain a Riley. It was better than having to be the ghost of your former self all over again.
He stood now, knowing it was all he needed to know. He walked away but somehow a lingering thought had you opening your lips all over again.
âWhy didnât you fight for me, Si? Why did you sign the papers back then if you truly didnât want to break up?â
âBecause no matter how much I loved and needed you in my life, I will always choose your happiness before my own.â He answered, opening the door and leaving.
The sound of his bike echoing as you were left to mourn the closure of your relationship with the man that had meant the world to you. With all the regret finally coming full force you were left knowing that you had broken the man more than he already was and there was no turning back from it anymore.
Itâs been well over a year now since you have been hired as Captain John Priceâs secretary. Things were slowly but surely getting better for you and your career. Since the day you had talked with Simon, you wouldnât say things between the two of you were getting better but you were civil with each other. Youâve interacted with him a few times, especially when it came to paper works but nothing more was said between the two of you.
Even with Priceâs rule of not getting yourself involved with anyone in the team, it was becoming a mission for both Gaz and Soap to set you up with people on the base. Doctors or medics were somehow their number one target for you, but every single time, you find yourself relenting to just one date but never pushing for something more.
After knowing the truth about your ex, you didnât have the heart to be so cruel to him more than you already were working in the base as him. Your free time away from base were spent with hobbies you had while still being married to Simon, baking and journaling, it was relief to be able to do it now with a new light was shed to the events of your marriage failing. Youâve also come to accept the offer of Kateâs wifeâs therapist. It was a big help to be able to talk to someone else about everything youâve been through.
Youâve learned to accept that you had your own mistake in the failure of your marriage just as much as Simon did. But your therapist has also come to mention that you needed to begin your own journey of healing from the what ifs of it, and live in the aftermath as painful as it was for you now.
âThat dangerous?â You found yourself fearing for the worse at the conversation you were having with your boss as he explained to you the vague details of the upcoming mission him and the rest of the Task Force had for today.
With the chaos of prepping and planning, your boss was constantly on his feet and you were following him every step away for most of it to field calls and handle most of the paperworks to be sent out to sign and shipped to the higher ups. But to know a glimpse of what was happening and how your ex-husband would be involved in all of this worried you more than you would like to admit.
âIt is what it is, if it meant a safer and better world, we would do it over and over again.â He explained.
âJust be careful, I still want to keep my job and I canât if youâre dead, Boss.â You teased.
âLaswell can still be able to deal with you if Iâm gone.â He retorted right back earning a quick laugh from you.
One thing that you had gotten so used to was his humor and how you had showcased your own as time went by working for the man. You appreciated him for being one of the two best bosses you had ever had in your career.
âShouldnât you be preparing for the mission?â You quipped right back.
âI should.â He chuckled standing right up in his full height. âCan you go check on the boys for me while I do?â
You could have refused, but a small part of you wanted to check up on Simon. Standing up, you had made your round, first stopping by Soapâs room to check up on him and notify him about the mission. Soap being the man that he was already suggesting you another man in the base beforehand.
âHow about Micah? Pretty bloke that just joined the Medic team.â He began shoving the rest of his things into his duffle bag.
âJohnny, for the last time, Iâm not into those pretty type you think Iâm into.â You tried to indulge him in the conversation for now knowing it would ease him from the mission.
âWhat is your type so me and Gaz could actually find someone for you?â He pouted.
âTall, blonde, dark and broody and with a heavy Manchester-accent.â You indulged him with description of the only man you actually loved.
âWhy the fuck are you describing Ghost?â He snorts. âYou got a thing for him? I thought you swore off anyone from the military?â
âNever said it was Ghost, Johnny.â You quipped right back. You hugged him and have him wrap his arms around you right back. âBe careful for me will you, I canât live my life here in the base knowing you or Gaz arenât here trying to set me up with anyone and everyone in the base including the married ones.â
âHey we didnât know Wilson was married.â He protested as he pulled away to look at you in offense.
âAt this point Iâve already had dinner with half of the base, letâs keep it to a minimum when you get back. I might show you my ex so you can have an idea of what my type is.â
âDeal.â He grinned kissing you on top of the head before leaving to head to the meeting room.
You next stop was Gaz which wasnât much of a journey with how close his room was to Soapâs. Knocking inside, you were immediately welcomed into the arms of Gaz. Unlike Soap that had been fixated with setting you up with someone in the base, Gaz was more focused on the next get together you could go to after the mission.
âI think me and Soap could convince Price to have a weekend in his vacation house in Cornwall.â
You nodded knowing it wouldnât take much to convince Price if it meant helping the rest of the team with de-stressing and ensuring everyone has recovered mentally from the mission. But it also meant that you would be in charge of cooking knowing you and Price were the only ones that knew how to cook and you wanted your boss to actually have time to recover himself in the process.
âAs long as you help me with grocery and prepping then you got a deal.â You winked pulling away from him with a smile already excited to bake them your famous apple pie they constantly beg you to make for them since the first time making it for them.
âDeal.â He grinned kissing you on the cheeks and just like Soap, finding himself heading out with his bag already at hand.
It now meant you had one last person you needed to stop by before the mission prep. You took your time somehow rehearsing what you could probably say to the man for his upcoming mission. You had your worry and you knew this was a dangerous mission.
Knocking on his door, you heard the gruff response from the other side of the door.
âSimon?â You called and immediately heard the door being unlocked.
You were faced with him wearing his skull balaclava mask. This was the side of him that you never gotten used to see but it was a part of him that you could never truly erase from him.
âWhatâs wrong?â He asked you allowing you to walk inside.
âPrice told me to notify you about heading out for the mission.â You explained. âAnd I justâI just wanted to ask you to be careful on the mission.â
âAlways.â He nodded.
A moment of silence has passed between the two of you before you were reminded of your therapistâs words. There was nothing wrong if you extended an olive branch to the man after everything was out in the open.
âAfter the mission, I would love to have you join us in Priceâs cabin in Cornwall for a quick vacation too.â You added. âI know youâre busy with whatever you need to do to distress after a mission, but I would think it would be good to you if you joined. I can opts this one out if youâre more comfortable with that.â
âIâd go.â He nodded. âBut I want you to join along and I want you to make me that lovely cheesecake you always make for me after I come home from deployment.â
You smiled knowing that it was always the same, a way to a manâs heart is always through his stomach.
âAnything else you want?â You asked wanting to give in to his all too simple request.
âAnd I want us to at least be friends, youâre part of the team now and they care for you and it wouldnât do anyone good for us to act like we canât stand each other.â
You nodded, heart aching a little at what he wanted. Friends. That was all he wanted and you would gladly compromise this time for him if that was what makes him truly happy.
âFriends.â You smiled, taking a hesitant step towards him for a hug but stopped mid movement as he pulled you right into his arms. The all too familiar warmth that consumed him.
âI wished things would have been different between the two of us.â He whispered kissing the top of your head. âIâd give you the world when I couldnât give you myself fully.â
You closed your eyes wrapping your arms around his broad back.
âI wished I was strong enough for the two of us.â You whispered the tears slowly forming your eyes. âI wished I stayed a little longer for the two of us.â
âI never stopped loving you, Love. We might not be married anymore but you will be the only woman I will ever love truly with all my life and with all my soul.â
âYou too, Si.â You whispered looking up at him allowing the tears to flow freely from your eyes now. âAfter everything that had happened between us, I will always love you.â
It was the middle of the night when you heard the familiar ringtone of your old phone. The same phone that only Simon knew the number to. You blinked away the sleep as you pulled the phone right out of the bedside table.
An unfamiliar number took you by surprise and for a moment you wanted to not answer it thinking it might be a telemarketerâbut something had pushed you to press the answer button and hear whoever was on the other line.
âHello?â You whispered clearing your throat.
âMrs. Riley?â The familiar voice of John had you tensing. You found yourself sitting up from the bed as he began to introduce himself and why he had called.
âWhat happened to Simon?â You questioned checking your bedside clock to see what time it was.
It was just past midnight, three weeks since they had left for their mission and this was the first time you had gotten any contact to any one of them.
âAs of right now, we are not sure if he would make it through the night. If you want we could have you someone fetch you to see him.â
You felt your world still at the news. Just when things were finally moving into the right direction between you and Simon.
âIâll be there as soon as possible.â You assured hanging up and changing into some sweatshirt and sweatpants.
The travel to the now familiar base was a daze to you as you drove. You werenât much of a religious person, but your lips did not stop moving as you prayed. You prayed that your husband would be alright, you bargained that you would make things right with him if it meant he would stay.
âDonât leave me, Simon.â You whispered over and over again until you arrived to the base.
You had ignored most of the surprise that the soldier on duty had shown at your sudden appearanceâthe fact that you were in just your ratty clothes was also something you chose to ignore as you made a beeline to where the infirmary was.
Huddled in front of the door was your boss, John, Soap, and Gaz. Each and every single one of them injured in their own wayâmostly superficial from the bandages that plastered all over their beaten faces.
âJohn.â You called having three heads turning to you in question. âHow is he?â You questioned as the tears begin to fall from your eyes at the reality of the situation coming to crush you. âHow is my husband?â
The realization washed over all of them, of the secret you and Simon had hidden from everyone. The weight was too much as you were wrapped in the arms of the family you had found yourself becoming a part of.
âWill he be alright?â You pleaded, holding onto Johnâs vest. âPlease tell me he will be alright.â You begged falling to your knees in front of him.
âThe doctors are doing their best, Love.â John reassured kneeling in front of you, wrapping you into his arms as you continued to sob. âBut Simon took most of the impact from the explosion.â
The reality scared you so much. You tried you best to remember the last interaction you had with Simon, the hug, the promise of a new beginning, and everything else in between. It all came crashing down to this very point.
There was a very big chance that you will finally lose Simon and it scared you so much more than anything in this world. You couldnât lose him, not like this, not when there was so much left between the two of you to make up for.
âHe canât leave me, John.â You whimpered. âHe promised me he wouldnât leave me like this.â You screamed at the top of your lungs.
You were made aware of the vows you had made to each other when you got married at the court house. Of how he had promised to the best of his abilities that he wouldnât die in the line of duty before he could have the chance to retire. He promised you a family, he promised you the world, and he promised you your happiness. He was your family, he was your world, and he was your happiness that you realize only when it was too late.
For the next few weeks, the world around you had become blur. You were now much of a permanent fixture of the Taskforceâs base. Morning and the afternoon was spent still working for Price, especially with the piling number of paperworks the mission had caused and your nights were spent in the infirmary, watching over Simon that has yet to awake from his slumber.
When the doctors had given you the green light that you can see himâit took you hours before you did. Even after John, Soap, and Gaz had finished with their own visit, it took so much of what little strength you had to finally see him in his state.
Broken bones, laceration, head trauma, blood loss and amongst the other injuries that the doctors has informed you should have killed him but he was still alive even in his current state. He still had fight in him, he was still fighting to keep alive.
âIâve come to realize that post-mission Price was a whole different breed of a grump, more than he usually is.â You began talking to your still unconscious ex.
The doctor had told you about him being able to hear your voice and you took the opportunity to talk his ear off with him unable to give his usual sarcastic comments or grunts as response. There were days you told him about your day at work, days where you told him about what you had been doing since you left your home and tried and failed to move on from him, and there were days where you apologized to him, regretting the divorce and everything else that been the reason for the demise of your marriage.
âI think since the divorce Iâve realized a lot of shit about us.â You sighed leaning against the uncomfortable plastic chair. âIf you wake up, Iâll try to do my best to convince you to take me back.â You mused arms crossed against your chest. âI know you donât have as much of a happy memory after what happened to your family, but when you wake up, I want to make sure we make as much happy memories as we could together, I want you to tell me about what your Ma was like, what kind of brother Tommy was like, and how adorable Joseph was, I want all of that and more with you.â
You wiped away the tears that have yet to fall, you didnât want to cry. You thought that you didnât have any more tears to shed. The gravity of almost losing Simon was the wakeup call you needed and now it was nothing more than a waiting game until he wakes up.
âI fucking canât be your friend, Si.â You admit. âI canât be happy with just being your friend. I want you to be my husband again, Si. After almost losing you I know I canât live knowing we havenât fixed our relationship. Iâll do anything and everything to make it up to you, all the pain and hurt Iâve caused you.â
âAnything?â
You almost jumped from where you sat at the sight of the man whose eyes were now focused on you.
âSimon?â
âAm I just high or did you say what you did?â
âWhat?â
âThat you would make up for everything?â He muttered groggily.
âI did.â You nodded blinking in disbelief that he was here, awake. Alive.
âThen marry me. Let me make it right this time, Love. I promise Iâll make it work, Iâll do my best to make you happy the way that you deserve.â
âYes.â You answered almost immediately, finding yourself giggling about how ridiculous his second proposal was with his current stateâbut you didnât want it any other way.
He requested for you to take his dog tag around his neck off and only then did you notice that your wedding ring enclosed around his necklace. Even with the years that passed, he still had it with him. The very same ring you two had brought together before you had headed to the courthouse for your marriage.
âCan I add another stipulation?â He held onto your free hand.
âAnything.â You smiled rubbing your hand against the callousness of his hand. âAnything to make it work, Si.â
âNo more blind dates from the Sergeants.â
âThey could never hold a candle to you, Simon.â You giggled leaning in for a kiss, the weight that rested on your shoulders slowly easing away.
You were home, you were back in the arms of Simon after all was said and done.
#cod mw2#simon riley x reader#ghost mw2#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon riley fanfic#fem reader#simon riley mw2#simon riley x female reader#cod fic#mw2 fic#mw2 x you#mw2 x reader#ghost riley#simon riley fluff#simon riley angst#simon riley fanfiction#call of duty
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STRETCH.
yoga instructer choso x black man-eater reader
a/n: this is heavily inspired by jenniferâs body (ăť_ăťăž
also 1000 followers WHATT? (ă¤â§Ďâ§)ă¤
no branding included in this fic actually, so yk what that means. part two in the future asf (ďžÂ´ С `)ă
warnings: murder, reader is a succubus who eats boys & the girls she sleeps with (not choso), reader has fangs, big dick choso, heâs shy, he do be eating ass though, sloppy eater, whiny choso, pussydrunk cho, breeding asf, soft dom choso but like ( ̄Ď ̄;) subby, he makes reader submit, just nasty, also frens with satosugu
masterlist
man-eater
Noun
man-eater (plural man-eaters)
An animal that attacks and kills humans for food, such as certain tigers or sharks; any animal that consumes human flesh. quotationsÂ
A cannibal; a human that eats other humans. quotationsÂ
(by extension, slang) A seductive dangerous woman, often readily taking and discarding male romantic partners.Â
One thing you loved about the 21st century is that there was never a shortage of people. They were everywhere. Crawling around like little ants and fucking rapidly like rabbits. You never ran out of your source of food, your source of life.Â
Your species have been around for a long time. You donât remember how you came to be, but when you first opened your eyes, you were in the center of hot molten rock from the middle of the northwest Pacific Ocean. Tamu Massif, the worldâs massive underwater volcano, just 1,600 km east of Japan, was your home.Â
Your first feeding, your first kill, happened off the coast on the Seychelles beaches about two days after you were awakened. Your brown body was paling by then, but you didnât know why. At first, you didnât know what you were, but you knew you were weak and physically unable to move at some point. While still beautiful, your eyes lacked any life in them. You needed energy.
In your defense, they came to you. The wife did, more specifically. You were under the sun a lot; it was the only thing that could at least give you some life. You suspected she and the buff man with her were here as tourists, a honeymoon vacation spot perhaps. But, even after just being introduced to this world, you knew what you preferred. You were selective.
Her husband wasnât all that interesting to break, but her...Â
She was gorgeous, downright angelic. And you had such a strong desire to fuck her. And weirdly enough, your mouth started savoring at the thought of eating her.Â
It seems you hadnât known just how insatiable you can be, just how powerful you really are. It wasnât on purpose; you swear it wasnât. But you know what they say about firsts. She was addicting. How soft she was, how perfect her body fit with yours. She taught you how to feel, how to let go. You were so high on pleasure.
So, you can imagine your distress when you wake up to her unmoving body on top of your naked one. When you shift your eyes to the left, you notice her neck, specifically the missing chunk of it. You lick your lips and immediately grimace at the saltiness. You pushed her body towards your side with a huff.Â
At first, you felt quite hysterical. You ran toward the mirror and saw something that caused you to gasp. Â
Was that blood?
Red spots were all over your face, and your mouth area was even more adorned. Your locs are messy, cascading down past your hips. It wasnât difficult to figure out what occurred while you were intoxicated with pleasure.Â
Your face is grim as you grasp onto the skin of your forehead, groaning. Flashes start to appear in your mind. A glimpse of her face, body, her pussy. Flashes of you leaning into her neck, flashes of her neck being torn apart, and flashes of her body shaky under your firm hold.Â
Oh.
After about ten seconds had passed of your staring in the mirror, you accepted that this woman was now dead. You had killed her.Â
But.. you werenât overwhelmed by dread. Not upset or guilty that you completely depleted this womanâs life force. A strong feeling coursed through every nook and cranny in your veins, and you felt rejuvenated. The eye bags that had formed beneath your wispy eyelashes were absent, you could tell that much despite the amount of blood splattered on your face.
You had a liking for this feeling. Your strength was apparent, and your skin was brighter and clearer. You experienced such a state of euphoria. And well, you would die if you didnât get more. Literally and figuratively.
You didnât make an effort to conceal the body; you felt no need to. You felt compelled to go somewhere, but when you looked in that direction, all you could see was the moving water. You escaped into the ocean at the exact moment, moving as fast as you could away from the small island and following the intense pressure calling out to you.
Since that incident, youâve stayed in Japan. A black woman with unnatural beauty stalked through the night, undeniably being the center of attention. You were the talk of everywhere you went; people often compared you to a witch, a vampire was the funniest one youâve heard. You were unusual and feared a little by the public. Although you were beautiful, every step you took was infused with a sense of danger and mystery. Death, even.Â
Itâs common for people who left with you to never be seen again. In the event that they were, they werenât the same. People had this inexhaustible attraction towards you. They wanted to know more, they tried to discover the secrets you held. But unless you choose them, all people could potentially get out of you was a meaningless glance.
The more you kill, the stronger you become. You became aware of this shortly after your second kill, and you could soon hold off on feeding for weeks if you needed to. Though youâve grown to realize that youâre superior to a particular breed, you were never the type to go crazy with power. Many of your species, you could tell, were famous and had the most influence on the public.Â
Take the cityâs most well-known billionaires, such as Suguru Geto and Satoru Gojo. Their ownership of many corporations and businesses allowed them to have multiple connections with dangerous parts of Japan, such as the Yakuza. However, they also contribute significant amounts of income to the city annually. Their support of the most popular things in the population was indisputable, making it impossible not to like them. It wasnât because they wanted to; they werenât that generous, but because they loved power.Â
Passing them on your stroll, you could tell they were similar to you. Their scent was unlike that of humans, and their energy and absolute pheromones were ridiculous. They were looking for prey that night, you could tell by how potent it was. And perhaps if you were human, you would have fallen for their charm when they called out for you.Â
They had plans to make you their meal for the night, but unfortunately, their hypnotic effect on humans didnât work on you. Thatâs when they realized that you were like them, and well, they were both amused.Â
âAw, how cute,â
âBet you wouldâve tasted real good too.â
To this day, you donât know if Suguru was talking about eating you or your pussy. Even so, you became a close friend of the pair from that moment forward. There were days when they would pop up to your apartment unannounced and grace you with their antics. It was more of a domestic setting, not sexual, but they enjoyed being around someone who deeply understood them.Â
Today was one of those days. Your peaceful nap ended when they entered your bedroom and plopped down on your bed, discussing the last feeding they had. Satoruâs voice reaches an enthusiastic pitch,
âShe was so bendy, Suguru! She bent over backwards, and she was still taking my dick,âÂ
The long-haired man shifts his eyes carelessly towards his best friend, who is resting on your thighs and intensely focused on something on his phone. You were oblivious to the words spewed out by Satoru, fighting against the sleep you had gotten before they arrived. The latter raises a brow,
âHmm,â
âShe told me she takes something called yoga classes? Itâs a shame sheâs dead now, she was fu- Wait! Hey, Y/n?â
Your response is a hum as he shifts his head to your face and speaks with a sly smile on his lips,
âDo you take yoga classes?âÂ
You were not very fond of modern activities, so you rarely indulged in them. You rarely attempt to learn about human life and what they do for fun or work due to that knowledge. Their values never weighed down on you, and as a result, you lived a peaceful life. When you glanced down at piercing ice eyes, the confusion was evident on your face,Â
âWhatâs..yoga?â
Suguru gave a response instead, knowing that Satoru would give you a misleading description of the exercise,Â
âItâs just an activity humans do to calm the mind and stretch the body.â
âI see. Does it bring pleasure?â
âMaybe, they seem to be very satisfied afterwards.â
You twist your head in thought, interesting. Satoru pokes at your shoulder, and when you glance down, he shows you his phone screen. Plentiful pictures of women in various positions, very flexible..positions. Was she holding herself up on her forearms?
âWhere can I find this? Iâd like to.. learn.â Your own words caused you to startle yourself, and now youâre completely awake.Â
Since when?Â
You hear a breathy laugh coming from beneath you. âOh yeah? Didnât peg you as the type to like playing with your food.â His fingers move to find the nearest yoga studio by your building, despite his taunting, and he feels internally happy when he discovers itâs one he knows.Â
You flick his head, giggling while he grunts a bit. âItâs interesting. I didnât know the body could shape itself like that.â In all honesty, he presented you with some pictures that made you grimace a little.Â
âThereâs a place called Kamoâs Zen Sanctuary a few blocks from here. Of course, Suguru and I are friends with the owner.â
The mentioned man hums in assurance,Â
âWe can send a car to take you tomorrow afternoon if youâre up for it.â He wiggles his brows as he waits for your response.
As always, they kept their word without fail. Before the car arrived the next day, a large package was delivered to your door with a flimsy note that said, âYouâre welcome.âÂ
Itâs probable that you only needed one yoga set, but your friends wanted to give you a wide array of choices to pick from. Ultimately, you opted for a lightweight black set. When you looked in the mirror, you really saw how the clothing accentuated your body, especially your ass. Oh, you liked this.
Stopping outside the studio, your mind suddenly became well aware that you didnât know how human establishments operated. You took pleasure in the decorative pieces that this place had. Cold air, a Buddha statue spilling water steadily in a bowl, and soothing violin music immediately welcomed you upon arrival.Â
Despite not being familiar with the environment, you still entered it with grace. You would have left if it werenât for the tall, handsome gentleman who sneaked up on you from behind. His silent demeanor made it impossible to hear him, and when you saw his face, you indeed werenât disappointed.
âDo you need help, miss?â
Smooth was how his words came across. When you faced him, his face was smooth, too. Your body vibrated, your fingertips were slightly twitching, and your mind was reeling in the fact that you were suddenly very, very hungry. Although itâs been a week since you last had anything to eat, youâve already found your next prey.Â
Him. The quite pale man with a pair of beautiful, solemn eyes. The dark line across his face is a perfect fit for him, and itâs hard not to notice. His plum lips are almost puckered, but they look so soft you want to sink your teeth into them. You want him.
You eye his exposed biceps in the black shirt clinging onto his pale skin, âYes, I want to learn yoga. How can I?â Â
Even as his ears flush, he maintains a steady tone and unbothered expression when addressing you, barely making eye contact, âI can get you started with that. My name is Choso. Iâm an instructor here. Come with me, miss.â
You nodded without reason because the man had already turned and started walking to a different room. Youâre staring at him, more so the way his muscles ripple with every step he takes. Thereâs an intangible desire on your part to fuck this man, bite every inch of his body until he was withering in pleasure.Â
Choso seemed shy, but you liked that he was nervous and fidgety around you as you faced him in a larger room with a mirror covering both ends. There were no lights on, only candles surrounding the black walls. The echo from the fish swimming in the small pond could be heard throughout the space.Â
His back could be seen through the clear glass. As you looked around, you also noticed red mats and..blocks? This place was strange. You lick your lips when he speaks again,Â
âThis is where we do the practice. I sense that youâre new to this. Do you want to start with a small stretch first?â His hand reaches behind him to pick up a thin mat, his low purple eyes flickering between the object and you.Â
âOf course, Choso.â
Choso has a sweet scent, almost like a bakery. The moment you walked inside, his scent infiltrated your nostrils. The sheer proximity of his body when he guided you into what he said was the downward dog position made you feel like you were floating. You felt hot, even on fire, when he touched you. The fabric you wore was so tightly held onto your body that it felt like he was touching your bare skin.
He was exerting pressure on your lower thighs, making them conform to the position. When you glanced in the mirror, he seemed so focused on what he was doing. You swear your pussy had a heartbeat. His gaze catches yours,
âHead down, miss.â
You listen wordlessly, your locs making small thumping sounds when they hit the red surface. Maybe Choso could feel the heat and craving radiating off of your body. Maybe he couldnât. Itâs impossible to read his thoughts, no matter which way you look at it. His face remains blank after he says âgood jobâ for maintaining the position after a minute. If he can feel your body heating up like you can, his expression doesnât make it known.Â
His body, however, does. More so, how red he gets, as if heâs heating up too as if heâs experiencing the same shit you are. Could he be?
Choso tells you about the next position heâs going to put you in,
âYouâre a little tense on your outer hips, so weâre gonna do something called the Pigeon pose.â
Youâre almost about to ask, âWhatâs that?â but he shows you before you can even part your lips. Your right leg is flat against the floor, twisted in front of you almost perfectly, while your left leg elongates towards the back. Choso observes the difficulty of your arms in holding you up, so he goes in front of you to help. The firmness of his hands on your hips reflects his strength, especially when he presses down slightly to stretch the area.Â
âItâs okay. Your legs are supporting you. You can relax a bit.â Can you, though? With the way, heâs pressing on an area thatâs suddenly very sore to you. His voice is scratching some primal part of your brain. You think itâs impossible.
âAm I supposed to be doing something while in this position?â You intentionally lower your voice to make him look at you. He does, just not in the way you want. That stupid, blank expression is still on his face. You rub your lower body on the mat, shivering a little as it barely touches your clit through the fabric.
âYouâre supposed to breathe. Just be.â He speaks softly against your face. You were fond of his closeness, the sensation of his breath being directly on your skin.Â
âWhen will this feel pleasurable?â You exhale. You honestly werenât seeing any interest in human activities again. You were only getting a slight burn on your legs, and that was due to the grip Choso still had on you.
You donât know what it is you said, but you watch Choso intensely. You can see his eyes widen for a split second before returning to their original state.
âPleasurable? You came here.. for pleasure?âÂ
There was a slight hiccup in his voice at the end of his question. You got him, you think. It shouldnât be much to get him under you now. He taps his long fingers on your hip twice twice in an attempt to make you shift to the other leg, causing you to jump.Â
A wince escapes your lips as he releases his grip on you, âI hear that this practice can give that. Is it true?â
You finally caught Chosoâs eye on you. In fact, his gaze remains on you even after he observes your body shift its position. You believe that you like his eyes on you. He lowers himself to your level to help you still your body.
âI suppose it depends on what kind of pleasure youâre looking for, miss.â
You hum softly as you breathe him in once more today when his palms rest against you once again. What did he mean by that?
You reply, but your gaze never leaves his, âWhat kind of pleasure can you give me, Choso?âÂ
Choso was quiet, reserved from the public, and honestly tried his best to avoid any eye contact with you during your entire time in his studio. But he only has so much self-control, as did you. The only conversation was a series of intense squelching sounds as Choso sucked on your pink bud obscenely.Â
âOh fuck- Just like that, Cho!â
He moaned fervently against your brown lips, pulling your hips against his face and keeping your cheeks apart with his large grip. You were on your knees, back shaped into a perfect arch. He was not letting go, squeezing his tongue down your wet pussy lips. Your body shakes as his tongue licks a stripe through your folds, circles all over your puckered hole, and drool slips onto the thin mat.
âAh-!â
Your cries made Choso even more red in the ears. He thought he was pretty dull, not exciting or engaging to talk to. He didnât pay much attention to his looks, girls always found him too.. weird. It wasnât something he expected to happen on his day. He knew who you were before you came in, Satoru had the pleasure of letting him know you were on your way. But the minute you came into his place of work, he found it very hard to resist you. Thatâs why he didnât make any eye contact.Â
The truth is, Choso was deeply attracted to you and found it terrifying.Â
Chosoâs pretty head was puzzled by the fact that he was responsible for the angelic sounds that emerged from your plump lips. He couldnât fathom that he was on his knees licking the most sensitive parts of your body. But, he welcomed it, letting himself sink into the essence of you with a feeling of overwhelming desperation.Â
âWant more. Come on, miss. Give m-me more, please.â
How much more can you give him? He already has his face deep inside of you. You understand what he is trying to say when he inserts two fingers into your wet mound, dragging them in and out and carefully grazing the spongy spot that makes you thrash around. You immediately clench at the intrusion, feeling the overwhelming pleasure burn in the pit of your stomach.Â
Choso is eager to pay attention to all parts of you but doesnât know where to focus. Every part of you tastes so celestial, he wanted you to give him everything at the same time. His finger-fucking is swift, and your mind is entirely absent when the man pushes his tongue into and out of your ass simultaneously. Choso was so turned on that his precum was making a stain on his shorts from how much he was leaking.
His moans vibrated against your lower lips, and you swore in all your existence that you had never been eaten so nasty like this. He was going to make you cum so fast that you couldnât even be mad about it.
He can feel it. The fatness of your pussy is pressing against Chosoâs two big fingers, forcing him to use more strength to maintain his rapid pace. Your wetness creates a beautiful clear puddle under his attack, and he can feel it. Could you also do that on his dick? Milk his cock over and over and over again until he couldnât cum anymore? Choso has been an atheist his entire life, but he almost prayed for this one favor.
âFuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Ouuu fuck! Iâm g-gonna-â
The man doesnât respond at first, only presses into your G-spot harder and more forcefully, as if he has a point to prove. He circles at your clit, wrapping the twitching bud around his lips, and sucks hard. What does it for you is the drunk whispers vibrating against your core of âPlease, give it to me. Just cum. Fuck, itâs so wet.â
Your stomach tightens, your hands grip the carpeted floor in front of you, and your mouth releases pornographic moaning as cream pours out of you and onto his waiting tongue. Choso is clamoring for your taste, and as a result, he moans out with you. You have a strong desire for him, but for some inexplicable reason, your body is unwilling to eat him. Instead, you never wanted to fuck a person so badly in your life.Â
Chosoâs close proximity makes him ignore your little whimpers while rubbing his blushing, leaking tip up and down your sloppy cunt. When did he even pull his dick out?Â
âBet itâs so w-warm inside. Ah-â When his flushed tip accidentally slips in, and he gets a taste of the warmth you bring, his breathy voice cracks. Youâre whining now. Pushing back on Choso, sucking his wide cock in your greedy hole, feeling impatient to force him down far enough to rip your pussy.Â
Choso has the most beautiful moans youâve ever heard. His voice is deep, but his tone gets so high in pitch when heâs like this. Itâs so whiny it makes you cream. Literally. His voice cracks, just like his resolve does when you slide all 7.8 inches of him in so that your hips are flush against his pelvis. The feeling of his dick inside of you is so good that youâre so close to begging.
He thought he could have some self-control, but he barely kept it together when he was just eating you out. Your drooling pussy convulsing and contracting against Choso, against his cock, is a sign that his soul has reached a part of heaven. He couldnât stop himself, really. He couldnât do anything but relentlessly fuck you at an inhuman pace.Â
âSo good. So good. Pussyâs so fucking-â He cuts himself off with a loud groan when he witnesses your soft brown cheeks being spread apart for him, revealing a magnificent view of your pussy being stretched beyond their limits. Giving him a beautiful view of your messy pussy creaming the more his dick repeatedly punches your g-spot again and again and again.
Youâre wailing. Youâre trying to find something to hold onto that can bring your mind back to reality. Choso makes it so hard. He is becoming more and more clingy to your liquids, and his hips are vibrating violently against yours, making you believe he might be bruising your cervix. You love it. You love every speck of pleasure flowing and rippling through your body. You love everything heâs giving your body at this moment.
âI-I know what you- Oh fuck. W-what you are,â
Huh?
The thought is almost pushed out of your head when he angles his hips to get deeper inside of you. Wet and dirty sounds of his balls hitting your clit are filling the air of the stretch room. Choso is rambling now. Your pretty pussyâs attempt to milk his cock until there was nothing is making him feel delirious. It just feels so good, so safe, so wet. God, you were so fucking wet for him. He continues his fucked out declaration,
âA-And I can tell y-you donât like c-commitment, but please. Please let me k-keep you satisfied for all e-eternity.â His rough and insatiable pounding sends your mind to distant places while he pleads.Â
With whatever coherent part of your brain is still there, you cower away at the proposition. Shaking your head rapidly in a ânoâ motion. His harsh thrusts are practically felt in your womb, pushing your hips away when you scramble to grab something stable to hold you on the floor.
Of course, Choso doesnât let you run away like that. He quickly brings your waist back against him, making sure that his cock is nestled in the deepest parts of your warmth for a moment before starting to thrust again. Youâre forced to take it all, and he doesnât even need to say a word to prevent you from trying that shit again.
Still, you whimper out,
âChooo baby, I canât- Ahhh! Canât l-let you do that.â
Choso only frowns at the evident lie on your lips and pushes your entire body harder onto the mat. A loud gasp escapes your lips when you unexpectedly squirt all over the thin object due to the sudden pressure you feel on your cervix. He was so deep.
Choso doesnât slow down; he only moans with staggering moans when your pussy sprays its juices on him. In fact, he goes faster.Â
âP-Please, miss. I can make you feel this g-good whenever you want. I can- Fuckk. I promise I c-can always fuck you deep like t-this. Iâll worship you. Iâd do anything you- anything you ask, just please. L-Let me.âÂ
It seems that Choso understood precisely what you needed, a bit of prodding and persuading. Heâs sure that if someone happens to walk into the lobby, theyâll hear exactly whatâs going on due to the loud squelching you both are making. But why does he want that? Why does he want everyone to know that he is the one making you cry out so pretty as if he were your god? Despite your brief resolve, you give the handsome man exactly what he asks. You.
âYes! Oh fuck yes! Mâall yours, Cho! Mâcumming- Shit. Shit. Shit. Iâm-â
The sounds you both made at the same time were too much for your lovemaking to drown out. With your dam breaking, your pussy twitching open and closed, and your tight pussy covering his heavy cock with splashes of clear liquid and your sweet, sweet cream, Choso gets a taste of heaven. He cums with you. His hand grips the sides of your hips so hard, even through your dark skin, that it might leave bruises. Your perfect pussy squeezing a heavy load out of the man so much that he was shaking when he felt it overfill your cunt. Fuck, youâre too much.Â
Heavy breathing and a light pap sound coming from his cum dripping out of your poor pussy could barely be heard by both of you. Choso was in such a headspace that his mind needed to take a breather to gather what the fuck he was going to say to you in a few minutes, his dick softening inside you. You were feeling the after-effects of being fucked so good, buzzing in your right ear, spasming on a cock thatâs still buried deep inside of you, and aches on your lower body.
You start to pull off of him, thinking thatâs what he wants, but he immediately grabs your hips and keeps you still, still not getting over the euphoric feeling of your pussy on him. Choso realizes something, and at this moment, he feels the most embarrassed he has ever felt. He managed to get a girl's commitment without even knowing her name.Â
âUm.. miss?â
You barely let out a whisper, âYes, Cho?â
ââŚÂ Whatâs your name?â
Thereâs a beat of silence. Please donât hate me. Please donât hate me. Please donât hate me. Choso is pleading that you wonât hate him.
His thoughts were disrupted by a melodic laugh and a honey voice, âItâs Y/n, cutie.âÂ
Y/n? He finds that name so.. pretty. Almost as pretty as your body. Almost as pretty as the sight of your tight pussy creaming up and-Â
Well, now heâs hard again. You wonât mind if he pleases you a little more, right? After all, he made a promise, and Choso is never known for breaking his promises.
tagsđˇď¸:: @hatake05
tagsđˇď¸:: @thickbihhwitdagapp
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